#shitty problems

PS: If you cannot toss a coin to this writer, then consider reblogging this post so maybe the song will reachs someone who can toss a coin and help! This is also a very effective way to support me and I’ll be grateful to you the same way!! 

The past few weeks have been fairly shitty to say the least, having to go to hospital due to really bad stomach pains which turned out to be my gallbladder irritating my pancreas, had surgery to remove the gallbladder and also had to have a catheter. The day I had surgery I looked like I was fucking dying and I couldn't move from my hospital bed that day, all I could really do is move my left arm. The surgery made it really difficult for me to get up from a slouched/laying down position and my stomach was massively bloated for a few days after. Those few days in the hospital certainly weren't the best of times. So with that done I was ready to start recovering, but now my work have very much pissed me off by not paying me for the time off because now I’m suddenly self employed (which is extremely odd because I work as an admin assistant/receptionist) and because of that I’m not eligible for Statutory Sick Pay, then my manager starts pinning a load of shit that’s happened over the period that I wasn’t in on me as if its my fault.  I’m meant to be going back on the 11th of April but I’ve decided I’m not going to because I’ve had enough of my manager’s bullshit, the job itself doesn’t pay jack shit anyway, but now I’m back in a position where I’m unemployed which is a fucking shite feeling that makes me feel even more shit than I already do. I just can’t seem to keep shit straight with my life, I don’t have a fucking long term plan because I get no joy out of anything. There’s nothing that I could possibly look at and say ‘oh I’m good at this I can make a career out of this’ because there’s nothing fucking there. I’m gonna be 20 in June and I have literally no fucking idea what I want to do with my shitty excuse of a life.  I’m such a fucking mess. 

I want to punch him so hard and slap him like I didn’t done before because of that. But he should be thankful that I love him and I hope that that should be encrypted on his mind so he won’t forget.

you may think I’m sitting here with a smile on my face only happy we broke up.. but fuck my heart just can’t seem stop aching (thesunsetinhiseyes)