3 Ways to Get Fired From a Shitty Internship
Stuck in a shitty internship, with a shitty boss, and shitty pay? Shit, maybe you don’t even get paid. That’s real shitty. Feel like quitting but want to make more of a statement? Let’s get your ass fired. Here’s how:
1) Always be late. Don’t set an alarm. Grace the office with your presence whenever you decided to roll out of bed. No need to lose sleep over a shitty internship, anyways. Take an extra fifteen minutes at your lunch time. If they notice, then, oh well.
2) Eat on their dime. Next time you have coffee-bitch duties and have to fetch the java for your lazy-ass superiors, have lunch…on them. They hand you a twenty, you get three coffees, but what would a trustworthy intern do? Give them back their change. Nah, not you. Use the remaining eight bucks for some lunch. What are you feeling? Burger, sandwich, tacos? Get it.
3) Don’t go beyond your job description. Why go above and beyond when you could do the bare minimum? Your job description says coffee runs. Last time I checked, it didn’t say anything about getting supplies for the office. Tell your boss you will not go fifteen minutes out of the way to get printing paper at Office Depot because some inattentive employee forgot to order it. Your boss tells you to clean up from the company party. Funny, cleaning the office kitchen and emptying the office dishwasher wasn’t part of the job description. #Notgonnahappen
