Let's make history
Today started out somewhat ordinary. Pea woke us up at 6:30 am, and we tried to delay until 7:00 and then everybody's up, ordering breakfast, getting out of the house. We just got her a new bike, so she's excited about riding the pink "four-wheeler", and Egg gets to ride around on the old bike, both of them in pink helmets looking as cute as possible. Loc and I started a row on how I'm nagging him to do this and that for the kids. I was angry and waited until he and the nanny take them to the grandparents to head out to work. But of course, we already agreed to have lunch, so I begrudgingly told him where I was so he could come get me.
Lunch was rather emotional. Things are not going his way at work, and it takes a toll on him, and it shows because he spends a lot of time and efforts looking after us. He would lose his patience, act angry, and sometimes inadvertently hurt the kid. (Pea's going through an extremely egoistic phase). I confronted him about this, and there were a few tears. But we talked about how he has been getting closer to his goal and interests, how things are going to align for him and how it's just a matter of time (and painful though it was) before he could get where he should be. He seems hopeful, especially since a small start-up is looking for his consultation service.
And he gives good advice. I asked him to consider me not as a spouse, but as someone who he has seen professionally. I'm in a unique situation, the moment where you would often hear people looking back and talk about how they were "in the right place at the right time". Being employee 001 here means if the company sets up an entity and needs a legal representative, I'm on the shortlist. But he reminded me that this needs to be earned, not a given. And instead of focusing on how much fears and anxiety I have, about how I feel both superior and inferior to people in similar situations, I could set myself up for success in this role, to be the obvious choice.
I could never see myself as some social butterfly - I said. But he saw my abilities as a strength to be used in networking, he sees something strong and different in me. And I realize that no matter what kind of career success I have or how much I earn, there has to be respect for this man who supports me and sees my potential and is willing to put me first.
Of course, there's also the inconvenience of the thyroid issue. I kept wishing I could put in this 150% as I used to be able to, back in the days of Stoxplus. But he reminded me to take baby steps, and would be better off just do my things instead of waiting for things to be perfect.
That's my guy.
