#shitmood

Limited communication. Tomorrow doesn’t look any better, at least from where I’m at currently.

I put myself into bad moods often. Usually starts with being depressed, then overthinking things, then being angry, then looping an overthink-anger cycle until it breaks to be depressed again.

This just happened not too long ago from this post time. Currently, I’m cold, stiff, sleepy, tired, angry, depressed, and overthinking tomorrow. I’m not happy.

I looked up why I’m angry and overthinking all the time, and some posts on forums came up with really good explanations. One that I like because it relates to me is that I “demand” and “expect” perfection, not only from myself, but from others as well.

Should I or others not meet my expectations, I get upset and in a foul mood the rest of the day. Sometimes, I’ll get over it quickly, other times it’ll take the whole day or more to get out of.

Right now, I’m wanting people to respond ASAP when I text them. When they don’t, my attitude is “I’ll text YOU back when I get double+ texted. When you make me a priority, I’ll make you one (again).” As shitty as it sounds, I’m done dealing with foolishness/forgetfulness.

Of course I’m demanding too much. But if I don’t expect perfection from myself, then who will? Someone’s got to, and if someone tells me “No one expects perfection from you,” then I will accept their response as a lie. Someone expects perfection other than myself, and I must meet it.