“Prompt: “Pants are just an illusion.”
Requested by @worry666
Characters: Male OC, Nyx Ulric
A/N: A little backstory for this: Nyx pissed Drautos off and gets stuck babysitting the most detestable man in insomnia as he recovers from several injuries. Pre-Canon, btw
While acceeding to drink with a man supposed to be in painkillers was most definitely a horrible idea, and he was most definitely getting paid to prevent said man from carrying out more horrible ideas, Nyx was by now 100% certain painkillers and alcohol were the least of his concern when it came to Balthazar Jay Leo, if that constant nosebleed, his shaky hands and overreactive senses were any indication.
Of course, he seemed oddly calm today... Sober, even, so Nyx figured ‘A couple of drinks won’t hurt...’ But it was never a couple of drinks when it came to Balthazar, and he knew that by now. Perhaps part of him was gratefull to get some distraction from the dull duty that is helping the man as he limps around with 7 broken bones.
“Ulric...” Balthazar began, his expression more serious than normal somehow, as he almost apathetically petted the 8 foot long black mamba wrapped around his shoulders he lovingly refered to as his good little girl.
“Sir?” Nyx hesitantly asked, a nervous expression adorning his face ‘Shit, I hope I didn’t fuck up his god damn drink again, last time he toppled it over and made me clean the spill, what is he? A fucking cat?’ he thought
“You’ve been in my house for essentially three months now, right?” Balthazar asked, at that moment, the cross-eyed snake named Ardyn turned to look at Nyx, he could swear she had a curious expression on her face, but snakes can’t actually hear and they certainly can’t change expressions... Can they?
“Yes, sir, except for that brief period before you got injured again.” Nyx answered, the annoyance in his voice at the last part wasn’t even concealed, honestly, who goes on a mission immediately after getting a leg cast removed and then spars with Cor Leonis and Titus Drautos upon returning? more importantly, how does this man not get fucking tired?
“Don’t sass me, Ulric. Anyway... When I had my fingers still broken you had to undress me rather often and help me shower...”
“...We agreed to not speak about that, sir” Nyx said, giving an indignant huff
“Yes, whatever, that’s beside the point. So, I figured we’re at the comfort level, ya know” He paused to down the half full glass still on his hand and motioned Nyx to refill his drink “I can fucking walk around my house like god intended, no fucking pants”
Nyx frowned deeply at this “with all due respect, General, I don’t want to have to see your ridiculous chocobo print underwear every day for the next two weeks” he spoke as he fixed Balthazar another drink.
“I love it when you do that thing where you make my rank sound like a ‘fuck you’, people do it a lot, they despise the thought of a Niflheim born dog of war serving the crown... But you have trully mastered the art.” Ardyn seemed almost amused as her master smirked at Nyx, taking the drink from his hand. “But I am not a man that wears pants... These past months have been tortuous both due to being almost entirely immobilised, and not being able to let my legs breathe, for as long as I can remember, hero, when I get home pants are just an illusion, they don’t exist to me, they are not real, they’re meaningless”
“You know what? Whatever. Do whatever you want, no matter what I say you’re going to-” Nyx began, but was swiftly interrupted by Balthazar’s pants being thrown at his face. “Yep, that, exactly that, no matter what I said, that’s what you were going to do...”
Ardyn gave Nyx a look that seemed like she would have laughed at him, was she able to, Balthazar himself snickered at him “As if you don’t enjoy the view”
“I sincerely don’t, I’m just wondering where do you find such childish underwear that can actually fit you, i figured they only made that type of stuff for little kids” Nyx argued
What an annoying over confident man.
