#shipmeme;

Carobin:

The ship is my: Dark femme4masc I can fix her delight.

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it

General Opinion: I love Ch0pper's two moms. I love the absolute chicanery that was their meet ugly of 'Am I about to feed this woman's corpse to the wani when my boss is done with her?' The fact Carm sees Robin as the pinnacle of woman even when she was at her narrative lowest. Queen shit, can't wait for them to retire into academia together and put their tiny reindeer son into medical school.

Carmato:

The ship is my: OTP for the OC tbh, which came out of goddamn nowhere.

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it

General Opinion: So my followers who took part in poll clearly see the appeal of Shanille. You and I are throbbin for Carobin. Ready to rock for Carcock. Divas for Carmina. Yet I think of the in-universe example of Vampire/Werewolf shipping and I start eating my hardwood floors in my obsession. I don't know what happened here but I know I love my perky goth performer and her golden retriever minor deity bf.

Rialvi:

The ship is my: The nearest thing I will ever have to a fully realized Elphie/Glinda moment.

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it - Vivi's desire to provide a stable home for some of her country's most at risk is ideal for Rial. 'Hell yeah we'll adopt. Yes we will also use condoms when I take my boyshots from my godparent.'

General Opinion: This is one that haunts me because from an audience perspective, the start of Rial's story is the close of theirs for at least two years. It's the great mystery of what were you to each other. I also can't stop thinking of C. Gharial the most hated royal consort in the country's history. Love the gag of 'THE CR0CODILE FAMILY IS STILL FUCKING COLONIZING US?'

Namial:

The ship is my: I never thought about it in depth before but boy it'd be fun --

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it -- Both have some childhood trauma that I think could find catharsis in raising a kid. Just one though. Adopted. Neither want the other option even with BoyShots as an option.

Valas/Araj: Could have legs, both are the weirdo surface folk of their somewhat diminished Houses -- Who am I kidding, his mother's House was destroyed. The question of whether she's a rare submissive lady or still trying to boss him around is potentially a red flag to development, though.

Valas/Zevlor: Old Man Yaoi. Old Man Yaoi. Valas who has been without community for so long falling in with the leader of outcasts. Them both trying to pick up and figure out 'What Now' post-game. I can actually see this one in theory but I have no idea what it would be.

Sybelle/Dammon: I assume what you meant? If this was meant to be a crossover def let me know. But fun fact, this is one of her in-game crushes. She loves a big guy with horns and a heart of gold, if her canon romance is any indication. If her canon romance is taken by PC taught her trying to tism rizz the blacksmith.

Gale/Astarion: Points at Ax. I'm about it. Not my first choice for either of them but I am about it as an alt.

Rolan: Interesting! The wonders of the age, with the egos and skills to prove it. Not something I have ever considered before nor that i have any idea about, but it is something to think about.

Hel/Raphael: But They're Both Bottoms --

Hel/Cazador: I don't even know what to say this I cannot even fathom I cannot on any level accept this is an option but sb actually typed a manifesto for it, so I suppose someone has put thought into it. Not me though. The concept alone is melting my gay little sludge brain right out of my skull.

Who’s more dominant: I feel Victor is a touch more type-A than Hel, so of the two, this goes to Victor. Hel is far less assertive than he is, preferring more gentle persuasion when left to her own devices. In the bedroom…. Let me restate from past memes, sexual and otherwise, Hel is a sub. Victor takes this one by default in terms of sexual dominance.

Who’s the cuddler: Hel would have to be pried from Victor with a crowbar some days. She always likes to have some level of connection with him when they are together, even if it’s just her hand on his. What she likes best is to be in his lap and able to unwind with her head against his shoulder while he writes or studies.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Hel tried to be the big spoon and was thwarted. It made some weird alignment given he’s so much taller than her, so she succumbed to playing little spoon. It’s more fun that way anyway, when he can bury his face in all her hair and keep his arms around her to make her feel safe.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Magical studies and, apparently, mortifying Tsura with their understanding of modern slang. Doom is a great teacher when it comes to catching Hel up with the schooling she missed coming of age in Helheim, and there is little better than hearing a nearly 50 year old man and centuries old goddess utter the words ‘oh, worm.’

Who uses all the hot water: Hel. Victor should probably science some way that she can get as much hot water as she wants for her baths without actually depleting it for everyone else. She says he is welcome to join her if it troubles him so much, to which she probably gets a ‘Don’t change the subject,’ thus foiling her plan to ruin the subject.

Most trivial thing they fight over: Hel ‘cheating’ her way through a language lesson. She paid good money for that Latverian phrasebook. Victor is just so disappointed in her.

Who does most of the cleaning: Servants. Seriously, they’re both royal. She has Ganglot and Gangloti, he has a castle worth of help. 

What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: I imagine Tsura has primary reign, actually. When she’s not around to man the remote, it usually falls to Hel. I don’t know that Victor has been able to handle the netflix queue in months.

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:  Victor already fixed it before it ever became an issue. Hel is both impressed and mildly alarmed. Is there anything that this man cannot do?

Who leaves their stuff around: Yes, the answer is he cannot put away some of his shit. Yes, he has servants, but it’s the spirit of the thing, Victor. He has the ultimate out of motioning at her own stuff left lying about and making her admit he has a point. For the most part, both are very tidy, and it’s never anything major.

Who remembers to buy the milk: Serv– You know what, actually, Victor. He’s a human. He’s lived on Earth. He has exchanged currency for goods and services before. He’s been to college and ostensibly had to purchase food before whilst living in his dorm. He understands how shopping works far, far better than his ‘ageless but only theoretically mastered this whole life on Earth thing’ lover.

Who remembers anniversaries:  Both of them. I also get the feeling neither of them is above trying to use wit and cunning to figure out what the other has gotten them. The week leading up to any anniversary is fraught with espionage and interrogations. No one in the castle can sleep. Everyone is afraid of walking in and seeing something that renders them culpable. 

Who cooks normally: This one time Hel tried to cook to be sweet. Latveria almost lost its beloved king that night. Hel’s cooking is more potent than any poison of mortal make. It falls to the servants now, as it should.

How often do they fight: A little sparring between partners, whether magical or physical, keeps the spark alive – as Hel tries to climb out the window. Joking aside, 

What do they do when they’re away from each other: Both have kingdoms to rule, but Victor also continues his scientific and magical pursuits and generally being a thorn in the F4′s side, where Hel has her reading and wandering around Midgard. 

Nicknames for each other: Hel likes to show just how well she’s learned the languages he’s taught her, predominantly Latverian and Hungarian. I’ve already used csillagom here – which amounts to ‘my star’ in Hungarian – which I think is a good indication for how she addresses Victor in private, that he’s radiant, that he’s celestial, something that examines his power and what she perceives as his light. By contrast, and you can correct me on these Rock Facts, but I imagine Victor is a bit more gentle with her, tender. A bit more grounded than Hel tends to be, something to remind her how good she can be, while still acknowledging her power and ability.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Hel does and then takes him to very expensive places so she does not get any less than she paid for when she forks over literal gold. It’s horrifying. She has such little money and it’s all older than several cultures. But at least she gets to wine and dine her favorite man.

Who steals the covers at night: Victor. Hel is charmed but ultimately confounded on mornings where he ends up in some kind of blanket burrito. Is he aware that this is not his cape? 

What would they get each other for gifts: Hel brings Victor old tomes, beautifully inscribed and illustrated, from when magic was very young on this plane. Also, since he apparently likes metal so much, bits of jewelry and metalwork for if he ever feels fancy, either with some history behind it or specifically made for him alone. Victor, meanwhile, I imagine likes to see Hel in style while also putting a lot of thought into this – his lady will wear no common finery. Jewels and symbols of status, enhancements woven into their surface.

Who kissed who first: Hel. She had to test and see if he could take the ‘interesting’ texture of her lips. To her surprise, not only could he take it, he liked it.  

Who made the first move: Victor. Hel was far too concerned about Victor’s boundaries to make her move, propriety keeping her within the bounds of the platonic even when she wanted more. She was unsure of how to show her interest, so Victor beat her to the chase. Sufficed to say, Hel was more than receptive.

Who remembers things: Victor. It’s honestly mind-boggling just how much information he retains, but Hel is not about to question it. The most he ever gets is a joke that he makes her feel her age when it comes to trying to remember things.

Who started the relationship: Again, Victor. Otherwise, nothing would have gotten down and Hel would have just sat in ‘this is fine’… well, hell. Mentor and student to friends to, finally, after quite long enough, lovers.

Who cusses more: They’re too articulate for that, really. Hel slips up once and curses and is mortified, to Victor’s endless amusement.

What would they do if the other one was hurt: Victor probably would not let it happen, having cast some protective magic over Hel in the event of any attack. Then he would deal with that threat to the best of his abilities – God help them. Hel, meanwhile, is as usual more defensive, more likely to shield and focus on getting Victor out of any fray terrible enough to leave serious damage. 

Who is the dirty talker: Victor is the literal worst and by that I mean he’s so good that Hel cannot with him. And the most obnoxious part is he is probably well aware that he is good. He can be subtle, too, so everyone might see the shot but only Hel actually feels it hit. Somewhere in the vicinity of her brain, as it spirals into the gutter. Don’t worry, other parts are affected too, far, far south.

Who’s more dominant: Outside of the bedroom, just as a general personality trait, Hel is. Destruction was a ruler longer, but he’s also very chill, where Hel is able to put her foot down. Sexually… Unpopular opinion: Destruction is a sub. Hel is also a sub. There have been evenings where they flip a coin to see who has to be a switch.

Who’s the cuddler: Hel. She would be wrapped around Destruction 24/7 if they were able. 

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Hel tried to be big spoon at first, but Destruction is too solidly built. There is no dorito waist for her to wrap her arms around. Instead, Destruction gets to be big spoon, and likes to cuddle up close to Hel while they sleep – which pisses her off a lot of mornings as time goes on, because he is a very deep sleeper while she’s an early riser. So she’s entangled in his massive arms as he snoozes away and she wants to start the day. There’s a reason she keeps a book on her nightstand wherever they go.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Adventuring! The pair love to just pick a destination and go, whether they make a day trip of it or an actual holiday. Destruction is very interested in showing Hel all the beauty the galaxy has to offer, and she is devoted to showing him her favorite places on Midgard and slowly reeling him back down from his absconding to the stars.

Who uses all the hot water: Hel. Her baths are notoriously long, and Destruction has started joining her for them just to get some kind of comfort in his life. Cold showers benefit neither of them, but you cannot convince her highness of that.

Most trivial thing they fight over: Iambic pentameter. Sometimes, it’s like Morpheus never left, or so Destruction snarks when Hel proofreads his work. It is this comparison to his worst brother that will set Hel off every time. All of this over Hel critiquing one of his poems.

Who does most of the cleaning: Destruction, at least until Hel gets into the hang of it. She’s always been tidy, but with the trade off that she’s also always had servants on hand. Plus I mean who better at getting rid of messes and dust than a literal embodiment of Destruction? Shit is effectively going to be nuked from orbit.

What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: Destruction. He always finds the neatest documentaries or indie movies that they can cuddle up and watch when they have some downtime.

Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Hel, lest Destruction make the issue worse by trying to play handyman. It’s a race to get the super called before Destruction can get started ‘fixing’ the heater. She usually sounds like someone calling 911 – soft, panicked ‘The heater’s gone you need to get over here before he finds the toolbox–’

Who leaves their stuff around: Neither really? Destruction is a bit less focused, though, so he might put something down to come back to later. It’s still not technically leaving it around, though, as he does actually come back to it pretty quickly in most cases. 

Who remembers to buy the milk: Destruction. Hel had servants all her life. I need to reiterate that here because it’s the only weak excuse she has to stand on for how clueless she is when it comes to shopping, sometimes.

Who remembers anniversaries: Hel. Not by any fault of Destruction’s though -- I imagine once you hit his age, years fly by like seconds. It can be hard for him to realize the ebb and flow of his father’s domain, and Hel has the upper hand there. Even as old as she is, time still holds some sway over her. Her little brothers have saved his ass multiple times during more modern eras by setting up phone reminders for him.

Who cooks normally: Destruction. Always Destruction. Hel actually appreciates his food, unlike some siblings, and for this he’s eternally grateful. This is also on account of Hel being a downright lethal chef, and even the physical embodiment of entropy has been staggered by something as impossible to fuck up as her chicken soup in the past.

How often do they fight: Rarely-ish? I mean, they’re both rather chill at heart, and both of them have rather cold natures when it comes to anger. It’d have to be something major for them to have a row, like an honest to God fight -- flyting is not actually arguing, even if Destruction totally started it by comparing her to Morpheus.

What do they do when they’re away from each other: Hel runs her realm and plays her politics, he dedicates himself to his art and his travels. She’s the loyal homebody, he’s the vagabond bohemian.

Nicknames for each other: She calls him soft, loving names that highlight his desire to separate himself from his function --  My Lamb, My Poet, My Wanderer. Destruction, on the other hand, is the embodiment of the “I use hun not hon because you are not my honey, you are my fierce warrior” text post. Empower the lady. Let her know she is the baddest.

Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Destruction. Not out of any misguided sense of chivalry, but because Helheim is broke and Hel has like... 0 money on her own. It’s a necessity.

Who steals the covers at night: Hel. She gets cold, ok? Destruction has no idea how that is possible since he’s basically a personal heater, but you do you, Hel.

What would they get each other for gifts: Hel gives Destruction anything that furthers his interests in the arts -- fine canvases, arrays of paint, a quiet studio wherever they settle. Alternatively, she’ll give him something to do with his interest in travel, be it guidebooks, old or current maps, star charts.. This often influences what Hel herself receives, usually any of his hideous quirky art pieces, or a souvenir or curiosity from his travels. Perhaps not the most exciting method of gift giving, as a quid pro quo arrangement, but they like it.

Who kissed who first: Destruction. He looked at her all excited and bright-eyed about something on one of their rendezvous in other worlds, and decided she was simply the most kissable woman he had ever seen. So he caught her mouth as stars flared overhead, and he froze her to the spot, and that was that.

Who made the first move: In hindsight, Destruction, even if neither of them realized it. He was the one who invited her out of Eljudnir to go exploring with him, which led to their repeated meet-ups whenever he was in her plane of reality, and eventually they both started to realize those were dates.

Who remembers things: Destruction, so long as it’s not an anniversary. Mind like a steel trap, that one -- though Hel’s memory is almost as long, and her grasp can be far tighter when slighted.

Who started the relationship: Again, Destruction. He did a lot of the pursuing while Hel was still nervously convinced that she was fundamentally unlovable, at least by a man of his standing and frankly gorgeous appearance. She resigned herself to unrequited love wrapped up in friendship where he was equally as smitten and failed to alert her of this for some time.

Who cusses more: Neither? They’re both relatively clean mouthed. Destruction is far more likely to drop a minor curse here and there, though.

What would they do if the other one was hurt: Destruction would automatically ensure Hel is ok, then launch an offensive against whoever dared to hurt her in any way. He’s been more than willing to throw down with Odin himself over past slights against Hel, so gods help whoever tries to have a go at her after he enters the picture. Hel, by contrast, is less a fighter and more a caretaker, and her first and only priority would be defending her lover and seeing to his well-being. 

Who is the dirty talker: Destruction tries, but bless him, he’s a little too boisterous. His voice and overall range is not suited to it. More often than not, he ends up giving his partner the giggles. Hel, meanwhile, learns how to master the art, and can make Destruction putty in her hands. Her voice ends up his kink once she takes on that ‘bedroom tone.’ I blame Hel like 100% for every encounter that led to them making babies -- it didn’t start with a kiss, it started with Hel muttering in her darling’s ear and playing him like a fiddle.

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Either until she dies fighting his new world order or the rest of their lives, if one can be dragged into the other’s corner.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It took Aria quite some time in Skyhold to realize she was growing fond of her mentor.  She’s a natural slow-burner in terms of romance, but I imagine Solas did not catch on or consider it until she slipped up and revealed it more than two years later.

How was their first kiss? - Aria went in soft, but he returned the favor with a touch more intensity. He is a wolf, after all, and she offered him only a taste rather than a proper meal. It left her quite dizzy, but pleased with the outcome.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - If they do ever get to this point and not simply settle into what we would consider a common law marriage, I can only imagine Solas is the one to pop the question. After everything he does when she is still hesitating, it seems inevitable.

Who is the best man/men? - A wolf or something? No, but seriously… In his version of the world, I can see a general he is close to, perhaps. In hers, he might get his fellow nerd Dorian roped in.

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Assuming in his world many of her human companions would be dead, it might fall to Merrill and others from Clan Sabrae. In others, watch her tap Rem and other old companions for it. Make Cullen an honorary bridesmaid so he can sincerely say he has only been the bridesmaid – never the bride.

Who did the most planning? - I imagine Solas did – perhaps doing quite a bit of work himself. Aria will consider the day a success so long as the two of them are at the altar and joined once all is said and done.

Who stressed the most? - As a result of the above, probably Solas. Even if it’s a small affair, Aria is far less fussed about things, and always there to help him relax.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Templars (exclusions made for certain Noodle Bridesmaids) 

Sex:

Who is on top? - You fools. Like there’s any specific way they have sex. Never. They switch out. Variety is the spice of hot passionate sweaty animal sex.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Aria is younger and full of life and look she started late in this ship she wants to make up for lost time.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Solas knows what he is doing, surely. Poor Aria might go quick, but it lasts quite some time.  

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - It’s only fair, of course. 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - lol.

How many children will they adopt? - I’m not entirely sure. If they settled, Aria wouldn’t exactly mind adopting one.

Who is the stricter parent? - Aria. Mamae is nice and understanding but also not afraid to put her foot down if needs must.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Solas, who makes a very compelling voice of reason.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Solas – just as well, since Aria might just throw the kid some jerky and a fare-thee-well.

Who is the more loved parent? - It’s close, but Solas has the frilly cakes on his side.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both. Maker help any tutors their kid has.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Aria. Just have a handkerchief ready.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Aria ‘Do You Know Who I Am This Is Anti-Elf Racism’ Mahariel.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - I should hope Solas does, as Aria is far from a competent cook. Unless he prefers to just live off of simple meat dishes.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Solas can actually turn something down, in the form of tea. Aria is far less discerning.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Aria. She’s the better haggler. 

How often do they bake desserts? - This is a frilly cakes appreciation household, thank you very much.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - M E A T.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Aria. She might have needed a little help with certain dishes, but she hunted down and prepared something special for the evening.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Aria. Expand your horizons, old man. The world is a bold new place.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Aria, just because she uses fire a lot more.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Solas is far tidier.

Who is really against chores? - Neither – Aria was brought up to value work,and Solas seems too particular.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Aria, since she is the one with the pets.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - LISTEN ARIA IS A VERY BUSY WOMAN–

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Aria turns into that COMPANY IS COMING video on a dime. And she hates it, around any amusement on his end.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Solas. Such good luck.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Solas, probably, just relaxing in the water.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Aria, since Fen tends to dislike his new dad.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - No Elvhen holidays really call for them, though Aria might go a little wild decorating any Halla or Deer for a certain celebration…

What are their goals for the relationship? - Aria’s here to save the world and show him it can still be redeemed, and he’s here to help her see that the world can only be saved through his plans.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Solas. Aria lamenting she is the third wheel in his love affair with the Fade.