#shingure

shingure are reunited!

Pairing: Guren Ichinose x Shinya Hiiragi fanfic.

cw: angst, slight mention of unrequited love

mlist

"I am willing to drown myself in power to save you."

The last words that damn Ichinose uttered before Shinya blacked out. He hated this. He hated himself.

He hated Guren.

He doesn't understand what Guren just said. It didn't make sense in the slightest. Just what the hell does Guren want? What did he want to achieve? One second ago he was stopping Shinya from interfering with the Seraph (Kimizuki's sister) and the next he was trying to revive the world once more.

Confusing, Shinya thought.

Guren was confusing. Shinya didn't understand how Guren thinks and acts, which makes it more infuriating! Guren was a mystery to Shinya. Back then, Shinya thought he understood Guren the most, but now it seemed like the more he tried to understand Guren, the less he understood about him.

Oh how he missed the days when they were just mere highschool students, fighting and bickering per usual. The days he understood the familiar but unfamiliar man.

Shinya opened his eyes and sat up. His eyes widening slightly. His breathing quickened as a familiar place emerged before him. The highschool he used to go to before the whole situation happened.

"Byakkomaru," Shinya called out as he looked at the scene before him— the first time he saw Guren. "Stop playing games with me. We have to get back to—"

To what? Guren? Yuuichiro and the others? If maybe, just maybe...

No.

Honestly, he had to admit, back then,Shinya did not really care about Guren. He was merely curious of the type of person Mahiru would fall in love with. Especially since Mahiru did say Guren Ichinose was the person she loved, not him. Not Shinya.

So what if he took a little peep (and maybe somewhat test his strength...) at Guren? Maybe a few talismans here and there— but still! Guren came out of that brawl semi-okay. And, it built a solid bond with the two.

It was as if they were meant to meet, to be together.

No. Get your head out of the clouds! Shinya thought.

The scene suddenly changed. Shinya was suddenly somewhere else. He watched as 16 year old Shinya talk to someone on the phone.

Isn't this...

It was that night, the night when Guren called Shinya that he had sex with Mahiru.

Byakkomaru suddenly appeared before him. Shinya just smiled before the demon. His signature and cool smile.

"Byakko," Shinya said, the nickname casually rolling off his tongue. "Why are you showing me this?"

Byakkomaru sighed.

"Shinya," Byakkomaru called out. "Do you not feel an ounce of hatred towards Ichinose? That night, you did not show any hatred... Instead you felt pity."

"Ha!" Shinya exclaimed. "Pity? Why would I pity him?"

"No, Shinya. You do not pity him. You pitied yourself. You pitied yourself endlessly."

Shinya bit his lip, not wanting to listen to what the actual fuck this damned tiger demon was saying.

"Why would I do that to myself?" Shinya asked, smiling.

"Did you not ask yourself? 'Why her? Why not me?'" Byakkomaru stated.

Byakkomaru was right after all. Once Guren ended the call, Shinya stayed awake, asking himself question after question.

Shinya chuckled to himself before saying, "Byakkomaru, you misunderstand me. I'm not the type of person to..."

"I suppose you would not mind if I took over your body and kill Ichinose?"

"That's a different thing now. I consider Guren as family and—"

"Do you feel the same for Norito Goshi and the others?" Byakkomaru asked.

"Yes I do, but—"

"Shinya. You and I are connect in both mind and soul. I know what you feel for that bastard."

Shinya sighed, but maintained his smile.

"You already knew," Shinya said. "And you ask me such questions."

Shinya smiled and looked at the ceiling, before it changed into a scene where rain was falling. Although it was only a part of the demon's ability, it seemed real. All of the memories he refused to remember, all of the things he forced to lock away deep inside him.

It all came crashing back.

"You loved him did you not?"

"No. I love him." Shinya corrected. "Quite stupid of me, right? Falling in love with someone like him... But he's the only one I have left. I understand why Mahiru fell for him..."

Shinya turned to Byakkomaru with a sad smile.

"I made a lot of mistakes in the past. A lot I have learned from. But Guren? He's like a drug. A drug I can't get enough of. I want his affection. I wanted to be his everything. I wanted to be his need. Like how he is the air I breathe, the water I drink..."

He laughed at himself for feeling this way. For being pathetic. For falling in love with someone he can't have.

"Foolish, am I right? Out of all the mistakes I have committed... Loving him was my greatest mistake. A mistake I refuse to learn from."

~

Back in the real world. Guren glanced at an unconscious Shinya, blissfully unaware of the turmoil happening within Shinya.

Guren lowered his lashes and wiped away at a stray tear that fell from the corner of Shinya's eye.

"Get up soon, m'kay? I'll guard you while you rest." Guren muttered.

a/n: GAH I'VE FINALLY FINISH IT. this shi was so complicated to write since i had to check ONS chapters over and over again😔🙏. Ik im bad at writing but like i finally finished my first ever fic!!! (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

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Hello Gureshin fans, it's time to start getting ready for the best time of the year :)

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I'm late to the party... But the English translator seemingly also gave up at this point 😂

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