#sherlock transcript

Mark: Good evening. Hope you enjoyed The Abominable Bride as much as I did, or as much as we enjoyed making it.

[Cut to TAB morgue scene]

Holmes: *whacking corpse*

Stamford: Excuse me!

Watson: I do hope we’re not interrupting!

[Back to Mark]

Mark: But now, for series four of Sherlock, we are returning to contemporary London where we all belong. And I have got four minutes, apparently, to tell you absolutely nothing about the new series. What can I tell you in the next three minutes and thirty seconds? Well, Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are back in Baker Street, as is Mrs. Mary Watson, but there’s a new arrival in the form of a baby.

[Cut to Setlock with the cast and a baby, music]

[Cut back to Mark]

Mark: Three minutes to go. Uhh…so we have a new team in Baker Street. Maybe we could call this The Adventure of The Three Watsons, but we haven’t. We’ve called it The Adventure of The Six Thatchers, there’s a clue there if you know your Arthur Conan Doyle. You can go back to the original story and find out precisely as much or as little as you want to.

[Cut to Setlock, music]

[Cut to Mark]

Mark: Two minutes and thirty seconds to go. Uhh… And there are certain things that come to fruition in this episode which have been building for an awfully long time. A hundred and twenty five year old spoiler! See what you can make of that.

[Cut to Setlock, music]

[Cut to Mark]

Mark: Two minutes to go. Umm… Well, Sherlock and John and Mary are tested as never before, they are put through an emotional wringer. Leading into episode two, which is based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventure of The Dying Detective, now called The Adventure of The Lying Detective. Two minutes and fifteen seconds.* Starring the great Toby Jones as Culverton Smith, one of the scariest baddies we’ve ever had and probably one of the scariest baddies ever committed to the television screen.

[Cut to Setlock of Culverton Smith, music]

[Cut back to Mark]

Mark: Umm… episode two is an extraordinary, emotional punch in the gut. I think it’s quite unlike anything we’ve done before and, uh, very, very proud of it. Leading into episode three which we don’t have a title for yet, yes we do, but we’re not telling you ‘cause it’s something of a give away. Uhh… it’s a culmination of everything we’ve been building up for for the past six years of Sherlock. All kinds of clues and red herrings – one minute to go – are finally paid off in episode three which features lots of extraordinary things I can’t tell you anything about. But possibly, things will never be the same again. But in the next thirty seconds perhaps I can speculate on how they might alter. Sherlock will come to a shattering climax, like a great piece of music, I hope. Whether there will be another concert to enjoy, who knows? We’d all certainly like to, but perhaps if you all come to the [I can’t quite tell what he names here but I’m guessing it’s some sort of cinema] and watch it, there might be a fifth series! Who can say? Fifteen seconds to go! Enjoying this… Uhh… Well, I hope you have a lovely time. Series four of Sherlock is the best one we’ve done. Very proud of it, I think everybody’s at the top of their form. And, uh, I think it’s going to be quite something. God bless. *winks*

*Not sure why he says “Two minutes and fifteen seconds” here when the counter on screen says 1:44, but I wrote it anyway haha

I was going to title this “STAB the Transcript” but feared it might be taken as an invitation ... ;)

Anyway, the first part of the transcript is now up.  The rest is finished in draft and is with my beta team.  All being well, Part 2 should go up tomorrow (Wednesday) and Part 3 on Thursday.  I’ll re-announce this when the final part is posted.

I’ve done a fast and furious transcript of the mini episode for the benefit of those who can’t see it or struggle with fast speech.  Thank you to people who have provided amendments - I've now updated the text.