#shenby

“You didn’t show last night…” Shen murmurs around the purple straw from his cold brew as he lingers in Robby’s proximity, pretending to study the patient chart in his hands.  “Kinda thought you would.”

“Yeah…” Robby says, his gaze fixed on the words in front of him as he rubs his palm over the nape of his neck. “I got busy.”

“Alright.” Shen responds, shrugging his shoulders as he pulls away. “If you’re not into it, you’re not into it. It happens.”

Those words, they prick at Robby’s heart like a thousand syringes, each one driving in, piercing his vital organ. It’s not about being not ‘into it’, he’s very much ‘into’ John Shen. His mouth, his ass, his… everything.

It’s about propriety.

About a fifty-four-year-old senior attending fucking an insubordinate that’s barely thirty. He should just let Shen walk away but he knows his history, the fact that he was cast out by his traditionalist father for being gay, that his entire community ostracized him. Right now, Robby’s just another asshole telling him he isn’t wanted and it isn’t like that, it isn’t like that at all.

He catches Shen’s arm before he can vanish into the chaos of The Pitt. The young doctor raises an eyebrow in question before Robby tilts his head towards the stairwell. It’s the most privacy you can get on a shift like this, they can grab a couple of minutes, and Robby can explain it isn’t him, it’s just an untenable situation.

Shen follows him through the door, waiting for it to close before he leans back against the faded whitewashed wall. His dark scrubs pulling taunt over his broad shoulders reminding Robby of the nights they’ve ended up tangled up on his floor, the two of them doing unspeakable things to each other in his bed.

The rattle of ice cubes diverts his attention to Shen’s lips, to the way they wrap around his straw as he sucks. Robby’s mouth goes dry, his cock hardening as he watches the bob of Shen’s throat.

“It’s not that I’m not ‘into it’.” He tells the attending as he places one hand on the wall behind him, caging Shen in. “It’s just that I don’t want to take advantage-”

“Robby, let me make this clear.” Shen cuts him off, clasping the plastic cup against his chest as he tilts his head up to meet Robby’s gaze. “When I kissed you outside of Russo’s I knew exactly what I was doing. When I undressed you, sucked your cock, let you fuck me, I knew exactly what I was doing. Everything we’ve done since then, the roof, my shower, your balcony I have wanted to do because you, you’re something else, especially when you’re a little riled up.” A ghost of a smile crosses Shen’s lips as a blush colours Robby’s cheeks. “Now if you want to stop, that’s fine, shit happens but be honest with yourself. Don’t blame it my experience or the age gap because we both know that I don’t let anyone else dictate my life choices.”

That fire in his eyes, that unapologetic passion it’s Robby’s weakness. It calls to him like a moth to a flame because John Shen has never been ashamed of who he is, no matter what the cost and maybe… just maybe that means Robby doesn’t have to be either.

After all isn’t that really why Robby’s trying to call time on this thing between the two of them. This encounters he’s had with Shen; they’ve left him questioning everything he knows about himself. Why every single relationship has failed until that point, how he’s always felt there was something missing. He’s never enjoyed sex, not really. It wasn’t until that kiss outside Russo’s that he understood why.

Women… they just don’t do it for him.

It wasn’t until a vigorous morning after that he’d even allowed himself to consider the possibility that he was anything other than heterosexual.

The thought had just never occurred to him.  

Kissing Shen, that had been a revelation. Getting blown by him, fucking him, it was the closest to paradise Robby’s ever been.

“Are we done?” Shen asks him pointedly. “Because my shift’s about to start and you know how Abbot gets-”

His mouth captures Shen’s, the taste of coffee blossoming on his tongue as he dips inside. The plastic coffee cup crushes between them as Robby minimises the distance, his knee sliding between Shen’s thighs. Shen moans into his mouth, his free hand grasping Robby’s scrubs, tugging his lower half against him. His cock rubs against Robby’s sending fireworks through his nerve endings before he withdraws for a second, his forehead coming to rest on Shen’s.

“No.” Robby says finally, answering Shen’s question. “We’re not done.”

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