#sheif

So as a kid I found some images on google and used them for anime slideshows [that was a thing on old school youtube] So I found some images and came to the conclusion of a story. It was called Messiah a BL game, so past twelve year old me looked at it and thought.

There's a seme vampire in love with a uke femine boy and a bratty switch who also has a crush on the uke [Yaoi was super popular back then don't judge me] Both the uke/seme had sex and the brat didn't like it. But I always shipped the THREE of them and thought majoirty of it was consensual. That the Uke was picked on and abandoned and was [/suicidal] and had to choose with which person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Wholesome and consensual :D

As an adult I recently was looking into the Messiah story because of yeah I loved that as a kid and couldn't get my hands on any english translations at the time- I wonder if any png are still floating around-

...

0.0 It is messed up like Evangelion messed up- I can't believe I shipped it, the story I thought it was- was better in my head while I hate what it originally was. Ignorance is bliss.

SO. I decided to write a poly ship of Shklance with Messiah [oh what I THOUGHT it was about] and write Keith and Shiro being soulmate vampires and Lance being the third wheel before becoming a solid third.

So Here's the beggining from Keiths POV tell me what you think.

CHapter One: The Beggining.

Keith Kogane knew he was different from the others, day one. His dad was always patient with him, that patience frustrated Keith, and other situations whenever people would talk down to him. Why was it that no one could understand what he meant?

He would say something and find people giving him funny looks, only for someone to repeat what he spoke but just phrased it differently. And they would act like they were doing him a favour.

It irritated him to no end. He decided to never speak and when he did he would find himself in the middle of fights.

One particular fight was against James Griffin and his lackeys, Keith only told him how it was, he didn’t like James and that was it. But apparently you can’t tell a kid you don’t like them you have to lie then hate them behind their back.

Which was just…stupid.

In the confusion Keith realised during the fight most of his opponents disappeared, he barely had a chance to see a kid help him until he punched him by accident.

“Owch- Ah dude I was helping you!” He proved it when James appeared in his blindside, taking advantage of the disruption but the kid pushed him back.

James and the others ran off while the kid was crying about his nose.

“Oh my god is it broken? Please tell me- is it bad?” He babbled and Keith could only think this kid was so strange. 

“Shut up, let me take a look-” The kid paused, holding still, tears pricking his eyes “It’s fine- just clipped it.” The boy relaxed “oh thank god- hey where are you going?”

“Home?”

“Oh cool, mind if I walk you?” Keith felt suspicious, but seeing the kids bloody face and knowing it was his fault made him reconsider. Keith sighed “Fine, you can clean yourself up at my place.”

“Cool. Oh yeah I’m Lance! Lance Mclain.”

“Uh Keith.” keith said feeling ten kinds of awkward as the kid- no Lance- babbled “God you were so cool, I’ve always wanted to talk to you, the others think you’re amazing-”

“They what?”

First time he was hearing this, Lance flapped his hand “Yeah they say you’re like Shadow the hedgehog- really cool and aloof the Sonic X and Adventure shadow not Sonic boom shadow.” Lance pulled a face and Keith couldn’t help but smile.

This kid was weird.

Lance stuck to him like glue, and Keith had no idea why, they both formed a timid friendship and Keith found himself talking about him to his dad. 

Keith had a friend and when they both turned fifteen they were talking about their future, Lance wanted to be an astronaut and Keith wanted to be a fireman. Like his dad.

Their dreams came crashing down in the same year, Lance realised he wasn’t smart enough to be an astronaut, and it felt like an impossible dream- but it wasn’t just that.

Keith stopped coming to school, there was an accident- a fire. And Keith never wanted to be a fireman again.

He lay in bed, his dad's coat laying on top of him, his Dad was gone. In just one night everything Keith knew was gone, a social worker came immediately to help him- he wanted nothing to do with them, he wanted to be left alone.

He heard the doorbell and ignored it, if it was one more adult coming in to tell him what to do, treating him like an adult and talking about the next step- he couldn’t focus on that he needed to be alone-

 “Keith…?” It was Lance.

Keith stiffened, drawing his dad's coat closer, “oh…Keith.”

He didn’t need this- he didn’t need pity!

He heard Lance walk away, his footsteps faded and sighed with relief, until he heard a clattering and banging- instantly irritated he stood up and stomped to the kitchen and froze to see Lance making coffee.

  “I lost my grandma last year, we were so focused on the next step, funeral arrangements, calling friends and family it soon became everybody else's business and we wanted to hold ourselves away have a moment to process and yet we were guilt tripped by not grieving properly to the people outside unless they’ve been there then it was none of their business.” Lance turned holding both cups.

“I won’t ever understand what you’re going through but I can emphasise. We got through that together as a family. We were talking to one another that was healthy. But bottling it up isn’t. I know you’re not ready but I want you to know I’m here.” He held out a cup and Keith took it. He didn’t feel anything at the moment, just numb.

His dad was dead, his dad died…his dad was gone.

Instead he felt a cold heavy weight in his chest as he sipped his drink. 

“How did you get over it?” Lance grimaced, placing a hand on Keiths arm “One day at a time.”

One day at a time…one step at a time. Keith inhaled.

It was hell, and yet Lance was there every step of the way, Keith snapped he yelled he cried he was at his worst and felt ashamed of himself and yet Lance never left him and took it.

“You don’t deserve that-”

“I know you don’t mean it, I know you’re angry it’s okay to vent and let it out.”

“Doesn’t mean I take it out on you.” Keith spoke and tried to finally organise his thoughts and deal with it, look at paperwork and actually fucking read it.

Along the way years passed, and he was then approached by Lance at their graduation, Keith wouldn’t have graduated if it wasn’t for him helping him every step of the way.

Lance found an apartment and was looking for a roommate, Keith was stunned and found himself accepting without thinking it through.

 Lance and Keith went to the same University, Lance became a writer he planned on writing for science journals about the discoveries of space.

 “I already know everything about space- if I can’t get there then I can at least put the knowledge up to good use.”

It was just to stay closer to Lance, Keith had no idea what he was going to do with his life, he was just floating.

He choose the art and design course, thinking how can you fail art?

And…he ended up enjoying it. It was therapeutic and his teachers had faith in his work, he found himself drawing Lance as he was working on his stories then found himself realising with horror that he liked him.

He was in love with his best friend…

Keith said nothing, how could he? Even if Lance liked him back it just- it was never going to work.

Keith was a mess and emotionally stunted, he had no future and Lance was doing this for him, he helped him over and over again and he just…Lance deserved better.

Keith found himself becoming detached from it all, looking at his and Lance’s relationship he realised without the young man there was nothing here Keith had any interest in.

He had nothing.

He felt something change within himself, a detachment to all of it, but Lance was his only anchor.

Keith would find himself watching Lance sleep, or even touching Lance's clothes before realising what he was doing and snapping out of it. Shamed burned in his stomach before leaving the room like a bat out of hell.

One night when Keith went out to drink his sorrows he came back to see Lance getting out of a shower.

Something inside shifted, a hunger- a need or obsession to have Lance, to grab him and take him.

“Keith?” Lance asked, finally realising Keith was there and walking towards him, “Lance…” He slurred

“Are you drunk?”

He wasn’t he couldn’t be, he’d never been more sober, he pushed Lance against the wall of their shared apartment, pressing in closer, lance grunted his face scrunched in irritation "Keith what the hell-”

Keith pressed forward his lips smashing against Lance's effectively shutting him up. Maybe he was drunk? Lance relaxed and kissed back, Keith felt elated that Lance wanted him back, wanted him as much-

Keith pulled back, hearing Lance gasping for breath, and leaned down, kissing the corner of his mouth and leading down to his chin, his neck opening his mouth of his own accord and pressing it against skin about to suck.

“K-Keith!” Lance yelped, it was a beautiful sound- but something was wrong.

He tasted blood, and instead of panicking he wanted to take more until- Lance slumped.

Keith gasped, finally snapping out of it in a panic and pulled back.

Lance was swaying, his neck had small holes with blood seeping out.

Keith couldn’t breathe.

He helped Lance to bed and cleaned his neck and froze to see it fade from the Cubans skin, the mark disappearing from sight. Keith shook his head, was he imagining it? No he tasted blood. Keith touched his lips gingerly.

He could still taste it.

The next morning Lance had no memory of what happened and Keith lied, claiming he had no memory of the event.

He was a monster- he hurt Lance and if he stayed he would hurt him again.

Keith went out again after failing another University assignment, how can he concentrate when everything was spiralling out of control?

Going to a local bar, he found himself gravitating towards men with dark skin and brightly coloured eyes- they reminded him of Lance- 

No.

He shook his head, he couldn’t do that- he couldn’t lose control again in case he did attack his best friend.

“Hey back off! I said no.”

Keith stared at a taller man with muscles for days, the man was handsome but looked like the type who didn’t understand the word no.

Perfect.

Keith was slowly losing his mind, something was wrong with him. He hurt people, but the marks would disappear, like nothing happened. When he didn’t, he felt awful and snappish.

He started taking them to the apartment, he figured it was safer there. With the chance of Lance being there not wanting to hurt him or lose himself might stop Keith from going too far.

It didn't stop his partners from rough themselves. Keith could defend himself but he held himself back.

He wanted to get hurt.

He wanted to feel and deep down knew he deserved it- something was wrong with him and no one could help him.

One day it got too far, and thats when Lance walked in.

He never meant for Lance to see him like this, pitiful and pathetic- 

He thought Lance would be disgusted, or run away.

He didn’t, Lance exploded, almost attacking the man whose name escapes Keith, and kicked him out the apartment and aimed his glare at Keith.

Keith flinched, he was in trouble.

But instead Lance surprised him, he took Keith to the couch and cleaned him up and placed a cup in his hand and a blanket over his shoulders.

Keith hunched in further feeling awful, he shouldn’t be treat like glass, he didn’t deserve Lance’s pity. This just made him feel worse.

He heard Lance sigh and braced himself for the worst.

“Why do you do that to yourself Keith? Go for those types I mean?” 

Keith almost bit his tongue from saying something stupid, like.

They’re not you.

He couldn’t say that, he couldn’t risk it. 

“I-I don’t know, it feels as if somethings missing and I just…I don’t know what it is.” 

It went worse after that, Keith found himself slipping, getting more irritated and leaving home more and more- it wasn't a lie, Keith DID feel as if something was missing, he couldn't sit still or stay here anymore.

it was unfair to Lance and it just made him hate himself more.

He was spiralling and had no idea on how to get out.

One day when he came home he froze to see Lance grinning at him.

What did he do?

“Turn around, mister. I have a surprise for you.”

This was different. “I- huh?”

Lance chuckled and turned him around pushing him out the door “Come on, I have something to show you.” 

Keith found himself smiling before it fell when he was brought down stairs out the back and saw a bike.

One he was saving up for months. Lance tossed him the keys “Here you go.”

“I-Why?” Keith asked, completely flummoxed. He barely even told him- Keith was too busy trying to bring up the topic but chickened out each and every time.

 Lance gave him a secret smirk, “You’re cooped up.” He looked on ahead smiling at the bike. “You always said you wanted to see the world- well America, so go on and conquer or something and bring me back a postcard.” 

Keith’s eyes watered, how was Lance real?

It was as if he knew Keith better than himself, he wanted to go but had no idea on how to even say it.

He hugged Lance instead, crushing him against him.

The distance helped, Keith could finally breathe and weirdly enough he knew more about Lance from a distance than when they shared an apartment. Maybe he put too much energy in hiding his feelings than knowing Lance.

Keith read his letter and smiled, Lance was talking about his family and the chaos they held every year- but then he mentioned something that had Keith gripping the paper and almost tearing it.

Lance had met someone, she moved in- her name was Romelle.

Keith couldn’t believe it, his eyes burning but what did he expect? He didn't own Lance, and Lance owed him nothing when he had no clue about Keiths feelings. He brought this on himself.

Didn't mean he had to like it though... Taking a moment to rationlise this, he sighed in relief. He never wanted to drag Lance down or hurt him, this was for the best.

Months passed and Keith wondered if Lance would even invite him to the wedding.

Until one day he got a call on his phone, he just bought it and got Lance’s number first, he missed his voice.

“Hello?” “Keith?” 

Keith instantly tensed, something was wrong, “Lance what is it?”

Lance gave a watery laugh, “Do I sound that bad?” 

Okay, now Keith was really worried “Lance what happened?”

“Romelle died.”

Keith froze, what?

“We were in a car accident, it happened a week ago I just got home from the hospital and I looked in the fridge and found leftover pasta and thought Romelle is not going to have this, she never will again and I just couldn’t breathe and I didn’t know who else to call-”

“Lance, it's okay, what are do you doing now?” Keith asked- truthfully he had no idea what he was doing.

“I- god." He took a shallow breath, "I need to call her family, my family, I need to let them know what happened although- no wait the doctors called ahead so they know but I need to call them to pick up her things-" His voice broke at the end and Keith couldn't take it. “No Lance, it’s late.” And it was, Keith got up grabbing his jacket, ignoring the man in his bed, while he grabbed his keys for his bike and his bag.

“Go pour yourself a drink- water!” Keith added on as he slammed the door shut.

“Keith are you busy- I’m sorry I shouldn't have called-” “I’m not busy, I’m just going on a walk, have you got a glass?”

“Shesh, bossy.” But Lance’s voice wasn’t in it and Keith bit his lip.

Keith got on his bike. Once he calmed Lance down and once the call ended did he pocket his phone and turn on the engine for his bike.

He was going home.

Lance opened the door surprised to see Keith. His eyes widened in shock. “Keith?”

Keith smiled “Hey Lance, mind if I come in?”

Lance nodded slowly backing away, “Uh, yeah?”

The place was a mess with papers everywhere, and photos of Lance and…Romelle.

God, Keith never even had a chance to meet her.

Loss wasn’t like a movie, five stages of grief...sad, then anger then acceptance was a complete fallacy.

It was as if your whole world was on mute, days went by agonisingly slow and fast at the same time, all the mundane tasks came and went. Lance was just busy, running around looking down and answering phone calls, what happened, how did it happen.

It was one of these calls when Keith heard the story and almost stumbled into the wall in shock. Both of them had went on a drive, they crashed the car and Romelle was pierced with pipes from the lorry in front. Lance was in a coma in a hospital.

Keith had no idea he was hurt- he didn't tell him. And the first thing he did when waking up and coming home was calle Keith.

And Lance was still babbling away with the doctors, funeral directors, her family, explain everything. Write down a number for a therapist that Keith knew he wouldn’t call.

Keith had to remind Lance to have a shower, eat food and drink.

He saw Lance staring at the hallway, probably thinking Romelle was never going to be in this kitchen again, he had a tub of leftover pasta for her and he’d have to eat it or it’d be ruined, her clothes were here as well.

He saw Lance in the mornings with dry skin and red rimmed eyes, he stopped speaking withdrawing into himself. And keith was too useless to help him, he can’t remember what Lance did for him when his dad died just that he was there every step of the way.

Keith had found himself moving back in, Lance barely seemed to nootice except he would turn when he heard Keiths footsteps then looked down as if he was ashamed. He would even flinch if Keith got too close.

Lance would be asleep then jump for hearing the slam of the fridge late at night then go back to sleep.

Keith thought his prescence wasn't helping, until Lance began to have nightmares, he would scream and thrash and Keith was there to calm him down. Lance would cry in his arms and the two would lay in bed together. Days passed and Lance would ask timidly if Keith could sleep in his room he was always used to someone being there, he had a big family and sleeping with Romelle.

“Forget it, sorry I said anything-“

“It’s fine, I’m the same.” Lance gaped then nodded looking down with his lips turned downward.

Keith can’t remember the last time Lance smiled, he was a constant source of happyness and stupid grins. And Keith wanted to hurt someone something but knew he couldn't fix this.

Days slipped into weeks to months and then a year. Days bleeding together and time falling through their fingers like quicksand. 

“Keith, let’s go on vacation.”

Keith almost swallowed his cereal wrong “What?”

“I need to get out the house.” Lance spoke and Keith found himself nodding.

“Uh, yeah sure.” 

________________________________________________________

I hung back after interviews, waiting to catch Shea in the small lobby behind the stage. After everything that happened yesterday, I knew, deep down, that we had to make up. I had to apologize and set things straight. She could very well not forgive me, and not even want to ally, but I had to try. 

I paced nervously back and forth on the white marble floors until it was time for her interview. I watched on the screen that was set into the wall. She looked beautiful and I found myself spellbound by her positive attitude. She did not seem broken or sad... she was a great actress. I was proud of her for conveying such a pleasant attitude, despite the fact that I was sure she felt like everything was crumbling around her. As her interview concluded, I took a deep breath and turned to face the door. 

Howling ghosts – they reappear In mountains that are stacked with fear But you're a king and I'm a lionheart. And in the sea that's painted black, Creatures lurk below the deck But you're a king and I'm a lionheart. And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart. A lionheart.