Bro Weekend: Day 1
Thursday, 8:41 PM.
Alton had just finished annihilating his shoulders in the gym. His shirt was soaked, his delts looked illegal. Life was good.
His phone buzzed.
SHAWN
Bro Weekend. You don't need to pack anything. I already organized everything. Be outside tomorrow. 08:00 sharp. Wear hiking boots.
Alton stared at the message. Then typed.
I hate surprises. You know that.
Three dots, almost immediately.
Trust me. You're gonna love it.
Alton rolled his eyes.
That's exactly what people say before something horrible happens.
Another message.
Sleep well, Princess.
Alton smirked despite himself.
You're paying for whatever this is.
Already did.
That's somehow even more concerning.
Friday, 7:58 AM
Alton stood outside his building with an expression that said he expected to be kidnapped. Right on time, a massive black pickup truck rolled around the corner.
Chrome grille. Lift kit. Big off-road tires. Deep V8 rumble.
Alton's eyes widened.
"...Okay."
The truck stopped. Shawn leaned out the window.
"Wassup, Sunshine."
Alton ignored him. Instead, he slowly walked around the truck like an archaeologist discovering a lost civilization.
"Dude..."
He gently patted the front fender.
"This thing is gorgeous."
Shawn grinned.
"I know."
"I wanna drive."
"No."
"I called it."
"No."
"I literally touched it first."
"No."
"I've known you for years."
"No."
"I'm objectively the better driver."
Shawn burst out laughing.
"You are absolutely not."
"I am."
"You drive like every road owes you money."
"I drive with confidence."
"You drive with unresolved emotional issues."
"I drive efficiently."
"You terrified a GPS once."
"It recalculated."
"It prayed."
Alton crossed his arms.
"I still wanna drive."
"You don't even know where we're going."
"I'll figure it out."
"No."
"I have instincts."
"You have confidence."
"Exactly."
"Those are different things."
Alton sighed dramatically.
"This friendship is unbelievably one-sided."
"Get in."
Five minutes later they were already on the highway. Shawn drove with both hands on the wheel. Calm, relaxed, focused. Alton watched him for about thirty seconds before speaking.
"You missed a gear."
"I drive an automatic."
"...You still missed one somehow."
Shawn laughed.
"You impossible idiot."
"You took that corner wide."
"There wasn't even a corner."
"There could've been."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
"No..."
A pause.
"...Unfortunately not."
An hour later the city had disappeared behind them. Forests, rolling hills, mountains rising in the distance, country roads, fresh air. Alton looked out the window.
"...Okay...This is nice."
"I know."
"But don't get used to me complimenting your planning."
"I recorded that."
"You did not."
"I absolutely did."
Shawn held up his phone. Voice memo.
'This is nice.'
Alton groaned.
"You weaponized technology."
"I'm preserving history."
"I'm deleting your phone."
"You don't know my password."
"I'll guess."
"You won't."
"It's probably something embarrassing."
"It isn't."
"'Bench77'."
"No."
"'Protein'."
"No."
"'BenchPressForever'."
"No."
"'AltonIsAwesome'."
"..."
Shawn slowly looked over.
"...Bro."
"What?"
"...Was I close?"
Alton laughed so hard he almost had to pull over.
"I KNEW IT!"
"I hate this conversation."
About another hour later, the truck rolled into a gravel parking area at the base of a mountain trail. Shawn killed the engine. Silence. Birds. Wind. Pine trees. Alton looked around.
"...Why are we here?"
Shawn climbed out.
"Because..."
He opened the truck bed.
"...we're hiking."
Silence. Alton blinked.
"...Excuse me?"
"Hiking."
"You mean..."
"Walking."
"...Up?"
"Yes."
"...Voluntarily?"
"Yes."
Alton looked toward the mountain. Then back at Shawn. Then back at the mountain.
"...Bro."
"Yeah?"
"I paid taxes."
"So?"
"So somebody should've built an elevator."
Shawn nearly dropped a backpack laughing.
"You are unbelievable."
"I'm serious."
He pointed upward.
"That's disrespectfully high."
"It's a mountain."
"It could've tried being shorter."
"I'm sure it'll apologize."
Shawn tossed him a backpack.
"Catch."
Alton caught it one-handed.
"...What's in here?"
"Food, water, supplies, emergency kit."
Alton lifted it once.
"...Bro."
"What?"
"This thing weighs like forty kilos."
"It doesn't."
"It emotionally does."
"Stop whining."
"I'm conserving energy."
"You haven't taken ten steps."
"I'm preparing mentally."
"You've been preparing mentally since yesterday."
"And look how exhausted I already am."
Shawn just shook his head.
"C'mon. We've got miles to go."
Alton sighed loud enough for nearby birds to leave the forest.
"...Fine."
"I hope a bear eats you first."
"Love you too."
"...Yeah."
"...Yeah."
Then the two bros started walking toward the mountains. The trail wasted absolutely no time. It went uphill. Immediately. Steep enough that after about thirty seconds Alton stopped, turned around, looked back toward the parking lot and nodded thoughtfully.
"You know..."
Shawn kept walking.
"Hm?"
"I've seen enough."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"I think I understand mountains now."
"You do?"
"They're tall."
"They are."
"They've been successfully observed."
"They have."
"I think we can go home."
Shawn didn't even turn around.
"You've walked maybe a hundred meters."
"Exactly."
"I gave hiking an honest chance."
"You gave gravity an honest complaint."
Alton sighed dramatically before continuing after him.
"You know what I miss already?"
"What?"
"Flat ground."
"It's been two minutes."
"I miss civilization."
"You are in civilization."
"I mean sidewalks."
The morning air was cool, sunlight filtered through the tall pine trees, birdsong echoed through the forest. The smell of damp earth mixed with fresh mountain air. Even Alton had to admit—Quietly. To himself. It was...nice. He wasn't about to tell Shawn that. Not yet. Instead he broke the silence.
"So."
"So."
"When exactly do we arrive?"
"In about..."
Shawn checked his watch dramatically.
"...five hours."
Alton froze.
"...I'm sorry?"
"Five."
"You accidentally added a zero."
"I didn't."
"You absolutely did."
"Nope."
"You expect me to walk..."
He pointed uphill.
"...for FIVE HOURS?"
"Closer to six with you."
Alton stared into the distance.
Half an hour later, Shawn had settled into a comfortable rhythm. Steady pace. Easy breathing. Meanwhile Alton had entered what Shawn lovingly referred to as... Competitive Complaining.
"This backpack keeps getting heavier."
"It weighs exactly the same."
"I don't think it does."
"It literally does."
"I think mountain gravity is different."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"The higher we go..."
"...the heavier it gets."
Shawn nodded with fake seriousness.
"That's fascinating."
"It is."
"You should publish that."
"I might."
"The scientific community deserves to know."
A few minutes later Shawn slowed down.
"Hey."
"What?"
"Come here."
Alton walked over.
"What?"
"Listen."
Alton frowned.
"...To what?"
"Exactly."
Silence. Wind. Birds. Leaves. Somewhere nearby, water trickled over rocks. Shawn smiled.
"When's the last time your phone was this quiet?"
Alton instinctively reached into his pocket. No notifications. No buzzing. No emails. No calendar reminders. Nothing.
"...Huh."
"Kinda weird, isn't it?"
"...Yeah."
"Good weird?"
Alton looked around again. The towering trees. The mountain rising ahead. Fresh air filling his lungs.
"...Maybe."
Shawn grinned.
"I'll take maybe."
Another twenty minutes passed. The trail narrowed. Roots crossed the path, small streams cut through the forest. Alton stepped over one.
Immediately after landing, Shawn pointed behind him.
"Bro."
"What?"
"I think that squirrel stole your protein bar."
Alton spun around instantly.
"What?!"
Nothing. No squirrel. No protein bar. Only Shawn laughing so hard he had to lean against a tree.
"You..."
Alton narrowed his eyes.
"...You absolute clown."
"You should've seen your face."
"I trusted you."
"No, you didn't."
"...Fair point. But still."
For the next ten minutes Alton said nothing, almost suspiciously nothing. Shawn noticed.
"You've gone quiet."
"I'm thinking."
"That concerns me."
"It should."
"You planning revenge?"
"No."
"You're lying."
"I would never."
"You absolutely would."
Alton smiled. A very calm smile. The kind Shawn had learned to fear long ago. The opportunity came sooner than expected. The trail crossed a shallow creek over a line of flat stepping stones. Shawn stepped onto the first one. Then the second. Then the—
"Bro!"
"What?"
"Snake!"
Shawn reacted instantly. He jumped sideways with surprising athleticism straight into the shallow creek.
SPLASH!
Water exploded everywhere. His hiking boots disappeared beneath the water. Alton doubled over laughing before Shawn had even climbed back out.
"Oh my—"
He couldn't breathe.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE—"
Another fit of laughter.
"You actually—"
He slapped his knee.
"YOU JUMPED!"
Shawn stared at him, dripping wet, hair soaked.
"There wasn't a snake."
"Nope."
"There was never a snake."
"Nope."
"You planned that."
"Maybe."
Shawn slowly smiled.
"You know..."
"What?"
"...This means war."
Alton grinned.
"It already was."
They continued climbing. The forest slowly became thinner. The views wider. The conversations drifted effortlessly from one ridiculous topic to another.
"If you had to fight one animal..." Shawn asked, "...once a year...what are you picking?"
"Easy." Alton answered immediately, "A kangaroo."
Shawn looked at him.
"A kangaroo?"
"Yeah. They box. So do I."
"They also kick."
"I'll simply avoid that."
"You say 'simply' like it's an inconvenience."
"I backpedal."
"They jump."
"I jump too."
"You cannot out-jump a kangaroo."
"I refuse to believe that."
"You've built your entire confidence on refusing reality."
"It's worked so far."
Ten minutes later Shawn pointed toward a rocky slope.
"Look."
A family of mountain goats effortlessly climbed terrain that looked nearly vertical. Alton watched them for a moment.
"...Show-offs."
"What?"
"They're making us look bad."
"They're goats."
"They're judging me."
"I don't think they are."
"That one definitely is."
One goat looked vaguely in their direction.
"There. See? I think he just called me cardio."
Shawn laughed.
"You've officially lost your mind."
"It stayed in the parking lot."
"I noticed."
The trail became steeper again, but something had changed. Alton had stopped complaining. Not because it had become easier. It hadn't.
His legs burned, his shoulders ached, his calves were already planning revenge. But somewhere along the way... The conversations, the laughter, the stupid jokes, the constant attempts to prank each other had quietly replaced every complaint. Without either of them noticing.
Shawn glanced over.
"You know..."
"What?"
"You haven't complained for almost twenty minutes."
Alton blinked.
"...Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Huh."
He thought about it.
"...Don't get used to it."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
They bumped fists without breaking stride. Then kept climbing toward whatever waited above the treeline.
The trees gradually began to thin, the air felt cooler, the path became rockier. Every few minutes the forest opened just enough to reveal another breathtaking glimpse of the valley below.
Neither of them talked much anymore. Not because they were tired. Well... Not only because they were tired. The mountain had a strange way of making even two bros appreciate a little silence.
Twenty minutes later the trail suddenly leveled out. The dense forest disappeared behind them.
Instead...
A massive wooden viewing platform stretched out over the mountainside. The valley below seemed endless. Dark green forests. Silver rivers winding through them. Tiny villages far below. Jagged mountain peaks fading into the blue horizon.
"...Whoa."
"I know." Shawn smiled.
For almost a full minute they simply stood there. The breeze rolled over the platform. The silence wasn't awkward. It was earned.
Eventually Alton dropped his backpack onto the wooden floor.
"Dude... It's hotter up here than I expected."
He grabbed the bottom of his shirt. One smooth motion, off it came. His sweat-soaked compression shirt landed beside the backpack. Fresh mountain air hit his skin. He stretched his shoulders.
"Ohhh... That's better."
Shawn leaned casually against the railing.
"Man..."
He slowly looked across the valley.
"What a view."
Alton followed his gaze. Then looked down. His own abs. Still pumped from yesterday's workout. Deep cuts. Sharp obliques. Sunlight catching every contour. He nodded appreciatively.
"...You're right, Bro."
Shawn smiled without looking over.
"Told you."
Alton flexed his stomach ever so slightly.
"The view is absolutely incredible. The last cutting phase really paid off."
Shawn slowly turned his head.
"...What?"
Alton kept admiring himself.
"I mean... Look at those lower abs. Damn. Worth every miserable calorie."
For a second Shawn just stared, then he burst into laughter. A loud, genuine, helpless laugh.
"You unbelievably self-obsessed moron!"
"What?"
"I wasn't talking about your abs!"
Alton looked up innocently.
"You weren't?"
"I meant..." Shawn pointed dramatically across the valley, "THAT! The mountains! The forests! The whole freaking landscape!"
Alton looked where Shawn pointed.
"...Oh."
A short pause.
"...Yeah...That's pretty nice too."
Shawn laughed even harder.
"Pretty nice? Bro, people fly across the planet to see this!"
"I mean..." Alton shrugged, "My abs are already here."
Shawn bent over laughing.
"I swear...one day you're going to find a mirror in heaven...and miss the angels completely."
Alton grinned.
"I'll tell them to wait."
They stayed on the platform for another twenty minutes. Not because either wanted to leave. The place invited you to stay. They leaned against the railing, drank water, shared a bag of beef jerky, talked about absolutely everything.
Football. The gym. Terrible dating experiences. Why every guy secretly believed he could survive in the wilderness despite having watched exactly three survival videos.
"I could survive." Alton said confidently.
"For how long?"
"A month."
Shawn nearly choked on his water.
"A month?"
"Easily."
"What would you eat?"
"...Protein."
"From where?"
"...Nature."
"Nature doesn't grow protein shakes."
"It should."
"You'd starve."
"I'd adapt."
"You think evolution happens over a weekend."
"It might."
"No."
A shadow suddenly swept across the platform. Both looked up. An enormous eagle circled silently above them. Its wings barely moved. It simply floated through the mountain air.
"Damn..." Shawn whispered, "That's beautiful."
Alton watched it disappear behind the cliffs.
"...Imagine seeing the world like that."
Shawn nodded and eventually checked his watch.
"We should keep moving."
Alton groaned dramatically.
"I was afraid you were going to say that."
"We're only halfway."
"What? You just said something illegal."
"What?"
"'Halfway.'"
"Yeah."
"I thought this was the destination."
Shawn laughed.
"Nope. The ranch is still a couple of hours away."
Alton looked toward the mountains. Then toward Shawn. Then back toward the mountains again.
"...You know..."
"What?"
"I was actually starting to enjoy this."
"I know."
"And then you reminded me there's more mountain."
"There is."
"So inconsiderate."
They shouldered their backpacks once again. Alton picked up his shirt, looked at it... then tied it loosely through one of the backpack straps instead.
"What?" Shawn asked.
"I'm not putting that sweaty thing back on."
"You planning to hike shirtless?"
Alton shrugged.
"If the mountain gets offended it can look somewhere else."
Shawn shook his head.
"You're unbelievable."
"I've heard."
The trail now climbed above the treeline. The landscape transformed completely. The dense forest gave way to open alpine meadows. Wildflowers swayed in the wind. Huge gray boulders lay scattered across green hillsides. Snow still clung to distant peaks.
Every few hundred meters they encountered another surprise. A group of marmots whistled before vanishing into their burrows. A herd of sheep lazily grazed on the slopes. Butterflies drifted through the mountain flowers.
Alton pointed toward a particularly fluffy sheep.
"That one's built like me after bulking season."
Shawn looked.
"...Actually...yeah."
"I'm choosing to take that as a compliment."
"You shouldn't."
They climbed higher and their conversation drifted into wonderfully pointless territory.
"Bro."
"Hm?"
"If animals had gyms..."
"...which species would bench the most?"
Shawn answered instantly.
"Gorillas."
"No."
"No?"
"Bears."
"Gorillas literally have arms the size of tree trunks."
"Yeah...but bears have dad strength."
Shawn laughed.
"That's not how biology works."
"It's exactly how biology works."
"No."
"I've done zero research...which means I'm unbiased."
"I don't think that's what unbiased means."
"It does in Bro Science."
"Bro Science has never passed peer review."
"It doesn't need to."
"Why not?"
"Because the peers are busy skipping leg day."
Shawn groaned.
"I walked into that one."
"You really did."
As the afternoon sun slowly drifted westward, the mountain no longer felt like an obstacle. It had become the setting.
The miles disappeared beneath endless conversations, stupid theories, harmless pranks, shared laughter, and the kind of comfortable silence that only existed between friends who had known each other long enough that they didn't need to impress each other anymore.
Neither of them noticed how far they had already come, they were simply enjoying the climb together.
The sun hung low above the mountains, everything around them was bathed in warm amber light. Long shadows stretched across the alpine meadows. The air had cooled just enough to make the hike comfortable again.
Alton adjusted the backpack on his shoulders.
"...Please tell me we're almost there."
Shawn smiled.
"We are."
"You've said that before."
"I meant it this time."
"You also meant it the last three times."
"I know."
"I've developed trust issues."
"Good."
They rounded one final bend, then Shawn stopped.
"There."
Alton looked up, at first he only saw another ridge. Then... Beyond it... A broad mountain plateau opened before them. Nestled against the surrounding peaks sat a beautiful horse ranch. Several large wooden barns, a cozy main lodge, fenced pastures stretching across the valley.
Dozens of horses grazing peacefully in the evening sun, thin trails of smoke drifted from stone chimneys. Alton slowly lowered his backpack.
"...Bro."
Shawn folded his arms.
"So?"
"...This..." Alton couldn't stop smiling, "...is awesome."
"Told you."
"You actually found a ranch."
"I did."
"In the mountains."
"Yep."
"...With horses."
"Yep."
Alton looked around again, his grin somehow became even wider.
"...Okay. I'm officially excited."
Shawn laughed.
"I noticed."
As they walked toward the ranch, one of the staff waved them over.
"You boys must be Shawn and Alton."
"That's us."
"We've been expecting you."
The ranch employee pointed toward the lodge.
"Your rooms are ready."
"We've already prepared dinner for later. And don't worry..." He nodded toward a large fire pit overlooking the valley, "...your campfire is waiting too."
Alton quietly leaned toward Shawn.
"...Campfire?"
"Mhm."
"...Steaks?"
"Mhm."
"...Beer?"
"Mhm."
"...Bro..."
Shawn couldn't hide his smile anymore.
"I know."
They stepped inside the lodge. Everything smelled like cedar wood and leather. Rustic furniture. Stone fireplace. Mounted antlers. Old western photographs covering the walls. It somehow felt both luxurious and completely authentic.
"I could live here." Alton muttered.
"You've been here twenty seconds."
"I've seen enough."
Shawn chuckled.
"Go unpack. We meet outside in half an hour."
Alton carried his backpack upstairs. He pushed open the door to his room. Large wooden bed. Heavy blankets. A window overlooking the mountains. Simple. Comfortable. Perfect.
Then something immediately caught his attention. Lying neatly on the bed... A beautiful dark-brown Stetson.
Directly in front of the bed... A pair of handcrafted cowboy boots. Polished leather, rich brown, golden stitching, exactly his size.
A small folded note rested on top of them. Alton picked it up.
It read:
The essential upgrades for this weekend, Bro. Thought you'd appreciate them. — Shawn
For several seconds Alton simply stared.
Then he picked up the hat, turned it over in his hands, ran his thumb along the brim.
"...No way..."
He placed it on his head, walked over to the mirror, tilted it slightly forward, then slightly back. A slow grin spread across his face.
"...Damn..."
He looked good. Really good. His eyes dropped to the boots.
"Oh...Oh these are dangerous..."
He sat down immediately, slipped into the cowboy boots. Perfect fit. He stood, walked across the room. The satisfying sound of leather heels on the wooden floor echoed softly.
Clack. Clack. Clack.
He stopped in front of the mirror again, hands on his hips. Hat. Boots. Still wearing his cargo shorts. He nodded approvingly at his reflection.
"...Bro...I absolutely love these."
Twenty-five minutes later Shawn was already waiting outside. He looked up as the lodge door opened, then burst into a knowing smile.
Alton walked out wearing the Stetson like he'd owned it for years. The cowboy boots looked like they had been custom-made for him. He casually adjusted the brim. Trying very hard to look cool. Trying even harder not to look too excited.
Shawn folded his arms.
"...There he is."
Alton tried to stay composed.
"What?"
"You love them."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You haven't stopped smiling."
"I smile all the time."
"No."
"You've looked in three windows since leaving the lodge."
"I was checking the weather."
"In the reflections?"
"...Maybe."
Shawn laughed.
"I knew it."
Alton finally gave up pretending.
"...Okay. They're awesome."
"I know. You absolute idiot... these are perfect. I spent two weeks finding the right pair."
Alton looked at him.
"...Seriously?"
"Yep. Wanted them to be exactly your style."
For a brief moment the jokes stopped. Alton simply nodded.
"...Thanks, Bro."
Shawn answered with a quiet smile.
"You're welcome."
As dusk settled over the mountains, the two friends made their way to the large fire pit overlooking the valley. Several thick steaks already rested over glowing coals. A cast-iron pan sizzled beside them. Two cold bottles of beer waited on the wooden table.
Nearby, a couple of ranch hands tipped their hats before leaving the two friends alone.
The only sounds left were crackling fire, distant horses, the wind, and the occasional clink of beer bottles. Shawn raised his bottle.
"To surviving your first voluntary hike."
Alton bumped it with his own.
"I still maintain it was only technically voluntary."
An hour later the steaks had disappeared. A second round of beer had replaced the first. The stars had begun appearing overhead one by one. The conversation drifted effortlessly from football to ridiculous gym stories to embarrassing high-school memories....
...to who would win in a fight between a cowboy and a gladiator.
"It's obviously the gladiator." Shawn insisted, "They literally fought professionally."
Alton shook his head.
"Nah. The cowboy has range."
"The gladiator has armor."
"The cowboy has confidence."
"The gladiator survived the Roman Empire."
"The cowboy owns a horse."
"The gladiator could probably steal the horse."
Alton gasped dramatically.
"...That's illegal."
"It's war."
"The horse wouldn't allow it."
"You think the horse chooses?"
"Absolutely. The horse knows vibes."
Shawn stared at him.
"...You have had exactly two beers."
"And yet I keep getting smarter."
Eventually the fire had burned down into glowing embers. Neither of them spoke for a while.
They simply watched the flames dance beneath a sky overflowing with stars. It was one of those rare moments where silence said everything.
Alton leaned back with a contented sigh.
"...You know..."
"Hm?"
"I really didn't want to come."
"I know."
"I thought this whole surprise thing was going to be terrible."
"I also know."
Alton smiled to himself.
"...Turns out...you were right."
Shawn looked over with a smug grin.
"I know."
"You don't have to enjoy that sentence this much."
"Oh, I'm going to enjoy it for years."
"You absolutely are."
"I'll probably bring it up at your wedding."
"I'm not inviting you anymore."
"You still will."
"...Yeah. Probably."
Another comfortable silence settled between them.
Then, without saying a word, Alton reached over, wrapped one arm around Shawn's shoulders and pulled him into a quick side hug.
With his free hand he vigorously ruffled Shawn's carefully styled hair.
Shawn immediately jerked away, laughing.
"Bro!"
Alton only laughed harder and kept going.
"Hold still!"
"My hair! It builds character."
"It builds bird nests!"
Alton finally let him go, still chuckling.
"I'm glad you dragged me out here, bro."
Shawn tried in vain to flatten his hair again.
"I told you. I knew you'd love it."
Alton looked out over the dark mountains, the firelight reflecting in his blue eyes.
"...Best surprise you've ever pulled."
Shawn smiled.
"And tomorrow..."
He stood, stretched, and tossed another log onto the glowing embers.
"...the real fun begins."
Alton raised an eyebrow.
"...That sentence worries me."
"It should."
They laughed together all the way back toward the lodge, their voices fading into the cool mountain night.
Some weekends became memories. Others became legends. And what Alton didn't know yet was who else Shawn had invited for the weekend.
---
To be continued...
---
You in for an adventure with the bros?
Then hit up our recruiters: @alton-gold77, @polo-drone-125
Featuring: @shawn-gold22













