Living Death
(Not canon in any way, but I had the scene in my head for a while and Shiv gave me the perfect opportunity to use it.)
âI will be going.â
Claire clasped her hands in front of her, patiently listening to her lord and sovereign. âHow long will you be gone, my lord? And what must I do in your absence?â
âDo whatever you wish,â Thanos replied, tone lacking any kind of feeling.
This threw her off slightly, and her immediate response was to start a mental checklist of things she knew would need to be done. âIâm⊠not sure I understand the command,â she admitted.
He glanced at her. âThere isnât one. I will be going. What you do from here is no longer of any consequence.â
Claire suddenly knew what it was to be a fish yanked from water without warning. âG-going where?â she finally asked after a long moment, still not quite understanding.
Thanos was not impatient. He explained himself again. âWhere I wish. You will remain. I no longer have interest here, and you are thus no longer bound to me.â
No longer bound to him. How could she possibly be unbound, when all of her, mind body and soul, was devoted to him? She licked her lips that had suddenly gone too dry, forcing her voice to be even, to stay strong because strength was what he had always wanted. âMay I accompany-â
âNo.â
Such a small word. Like a needle hitting just the right point on a glass pane so that it all came shattering down. She could hear it, feel a thousand cuts from the agonizing rain.
But it was more than that, so much more than drawing blood. That had always been Thanosâ specialty, cutting deeper than any blade ever could. With his simple, steady words, he took away Claireâs entire universe. The air left her, and sounds did, too. Suffocation, blindness, nothing but the dark of isolation awaited her.
âI donât understand,â she said, the words measured, paced, calculated because everything had to be calculated, every risk had to be taken into account. This had never been one of them. âI have only ever served you, I donât know what Iâve done wrong.â
âNothing.â
Dismissal. He wasnât getting rid of her, he wasnât angry, he wasnât anything. He was just dismissing her. After all this time, she really hadnât been good enough.
She should have known. She was human, mortal, weak, how dare she think she could stand in his light and expect him to notice her at all? Her universe was collapsing, following Thanos out the door and far away from her. It stole the warmth from her heart, the fire of her soul. There were no more stars for her to aspire to, there was no vast amount of space for Thanos to someday guide her through when she was ready.
He had said it. âNothing.â There was nothing. If there was no life with Thanos then there was no life. There was no Claire.
She loved him, and now, in the empty room, she let that love destroy her. She allowed that agony to embrace her because that was all she had left, and it would be the last thing she would ever feel.
Thanos was gone, and now, so was his assistant. The soul of Claire Fierte was dead.
If only she could have been a god, maybe she would have been good enough.














