A year ago today, we lost an important character. This character represented so many things for so many people; bravery, strong female leadership, class, dignity, perseverance, and many more things. 

Sharon Raydor - to thousands of people- was a reflection of a woman that we could look up to, yet an escape from reality. She was a real person living in an entirely made-up world, that we thought was a safe place. Even though, we may have underestimated the mortality of the characters of Major Crimes, and even though Sharon Raydor’s storyline came to tragic end, the purpose of her character and Sharon Raydor’s values live on. 

Sharon Raydor was bits and pieces of people that we know, and I think the real reason why it was so hard to let go of her, is because she was so real. Everything about her either viewers could relate, or touched them in a way that real life events have. Real people have power struggles, people have trouble being a minority in a work field, people find it hard being ‘the bad guy’, people struggle with divorce, adoption, work related stress, discrimination of all kind and I think that’s the reason we love her. Sharon Raydor had something to everyone that could be considered desirable. 

On a personal level, last year I had a lot on my plate. I was doing my first year of university, I started a new job that was very hard on my anxiety, I was constantly in-between colds, I had exams and while I was losing Sharon I also was dealing with losing a friend, and I was fearing that I would lose my mom as well. I remember last December being a really tough month. I think all of us can say that. When I first heard of Sharon’s death, I was mortified, as I’m sure a large majority of us were. The last thing I wanted, was the place that I considered an escape was now becoming a nightmare. 

Like many other fans I took to tumble and social media, and up to this day I'm so grateful for every. single. person that was posting around this time a year ago. Honestly, I think we all need to really take pride in the way that strangers were able to come together online to support one another, simply in relation to one shared love for a character. In retrospect, I guess it’s nice to say that at least we felt we weren’t alone. Not only did we have each other but we were lucky enough to have Mary by our side, and many of the other cast members. And through Mary’s incredible support and reaching out to her fans we also got a podcast <3 

I don’t really know where this post is going, but I felt super nostalgic this entire month tbh, leading up to the one year mark and I felt drawn to say something. 

This is probably ridden with spelling errors and poor grammar, but just consider it more candid and raw lol. 

Please feel free to drop something in my messages. I feel like many of us have been very disconnected from each other and the fandom since the show ended, specifically after Sharon’s last appearance and although it’s understandable, I miss it :(

I don’t know how much longer this Mary draught will last, but we gotta stand together. 

Anyways, that’s all <3

I still have not seen the episode because I'm pregnant and I slept. Things of pregnancy. But the pregnancy made me more sensitive and grosser too, and how annoying I am.

I swear the rumors of weeks ago made me believe that this would happen, but when it really did not have psychological preparation that would stop you from crying.

I'm sad, disappointed, upset, angry and needing a bear hug to see if that whirlwind inside me stops.

I still did not have the courage to say the episode, but still I wanted to understand what goes on in the head of a writer / author / director / whatever it is, to disappoint the fans like that?

Ever since they invented this disease head and neck in Sharon, I did not want to see the series, I continued because of Mary McDonnell.

The other characters / actors are wonderful, they won me, I confess. But I saw Major because of Mary McDonnell, I do not have to lie.

I'm your fan, I know almost all of your work, and I've even seen the strangest ones like "Scream 4" (laughs, because I laughed the moment you died in this movie, sorry.).

But I will rather compare Sharon's death to Laura's death.

When I saw Battlestar Galactica, I was warned by my friends that you would die. Of course I cried, but never did a death make as much sense as that of Laura Roslin.

You were the dying leader, who had a chance to live a little longer, but his mission was to take mankind to the longed for home, the Earth. If I wanted you to stay alive and have a real end with Adama, yes, I wanted to, but I never accepted as well a death as Laura, because whatever happened, we knew from the beginning that it had to be like that and made him coherence of history.

Furthermore, thanks authors for killing Laura only in the last episode.

Thank you Gods of Kobol.

But Sharon? You can not understand it, it has no logic.

I started to get upset with the disease. I can tell you Mary, it has no logic, my biological father died after a treatment of this heart disease. It was not easy, but he fought and excelled and you know why he died?

Because he fell out of bed and hit his head with such force that he spent three days in a coma and died. Our hopes were super-renewed, he would be released from the hospital because he was fine, I can even say "healed" and he simply fell out of bed and died.

Why am I telling this? Because I know what this disease is and I know how serious it is. I know how the treatment is and how it made no sense for Sharon to suffer from it so close to the end of the series.

I always said, after the character was diagnosed with this disease, that would not go very far. No time would be wasted to show treatment, medicine, hospitalizations, and healing so close to the end, and so I came to strongly believe in the rumors of Sharon's so senseless and unwanted death.

Now I understand that reaction in an interview about the end of the series: really "IS DONE! DONE! DONE!"

I am a 24-year-old adult, married for 7 years, pregnant with her first girl or first boy, I have a dog and a cat, a journalist with a job and I do not need a series to survive, but just as books fascinate, plays and musicals enchant, tv series are part of our sim.

As much as we know it is fiction, which is a story invented by someone, we viewers, we begin to feel for the characters, we twist, we cry, we laugh, we scream and even we fight for you and its stories, however much we have the notion that it is not real.

I'm Brazilian and we have a culture very much linked to soap operas. For us it is common to stop what we are doing to see the big end of a telenovela. It's practically a world cup final, and for me this Sharon final was like every tear that fell on my face after the 7x1 defeat of Germany over Brazil in the last World Cup.

It was frustrating, annoying, sad and very meaningless.

After this wall of regrets I want to say that I thank every moment that Mary McDonnell dedicated to The Closer and Major Crimes. She is a fantastic, a wonderful actress, I take pleasure in seeing her on the big and small screens.

My desire now is for a new project to follow soon to accompany her performance, which is simply sensational.

I’m kind of confused as to why she’s wearing a white dress... I have nothing against it, but I feel like as a catholic, and a relatively traditional gal, Sharon wouldn’t wear white to her second wedding (being she’s clearly not a virgin, and had been married before) I feel like it’s a little out of character, but HELL I don’t mind!!

roslinadama-sinequanon

replied to your post

“I have feelings about Sharon’s wedding dress and veil and they are not...”

@sharonflynn A lot of women wear white at second weddings. It doesn't just represent virginity --let's face it, how many virgin brides are there anymore at a first wedding :-) It's the color of celebration. Also, since Sharon's first marriage was annulled it means that in the eyes of the church it never was a sacramental marriage so this is technically her first.

Combining both of these. I’m on @roslinadama-sinequanon‘s side of the fence on this one - the white dress doesn’t bother me all that much, because as much as we know Sharon is a devout Catholic, she’s also a very liberal thinker. It’s probably a far greater crime to shack up with your boyfriend before marriage than it is to wear a white dress, and she’s certainly guilty of that :) Also, I think the trappings of a traditional ceremony, white dress and all, probably appeal to Sharon’s traditional side. And there’s a part of me that thinks that by going the whole nine yards on a church wedding, white dress and all, Sharon is saying that by refusing to make less of a big deal about this wedding because it’s her 2nd marriage, she’s also refusing to say that it’s in any way less important or less of a commitment than the first was.

However, if she’d gone a non-white dress route, that also wouldn’t have surprised me in the least for the reasons @sharonflynn mentioned.

Nah | haven’t seen yet | didn’t like/gave up | like it | love it | highly recommend.

I’ve recently changed my URL to fullonrainstorm.co.vu! 

This doesn’t mean I won’t still be posting about Mary (and her work), consider it me expanding on my content. Since we’re currently undergoing a Mary drought, I’ve taken it upon myself to be occupied by another fandom, but I’ll still be posting frequently about Mary and her work. I’m also working on like, 2 different LENGTHLY fics (thanks @blossom--of--snow) so this definitely isn’t me leaving the fandom. I’m just gonna be on the sidelines for a bit.