I've come to the realization at this point in my life that I am thankful for my connection to the men in my life and that I won't hate on them just because of one extremely toxic person that is flowing out of my life rn. I'd rather spend time with men that have developped a healthy mindset throughout their lives and who I can learn from. I know there are so many toxic men (and women) out there, I don't wanna be part of this bullshit / being involved in any of this bullshit at al. If I feel that someone is toxic, I leave. Easy as that. I don't have the patience nor the capacity to discuss with these people anymore. We will never be on the same wavelength at all, so why should I even bother? Makes no sense to me. And being toxic towards toxic men doesn't make me less toxic lol. Even worse: it attracts even more toxicity into my life ! So why should I cotinue contributing to this lol. Isn't this a form of self-sabotage in a way? I mean idk. I am not interested in ANY relationship with a man but I'm highly interested in healthy friendships with men. It makes me happy to talk to them, gives me hope after a seriously narcisstic ex-partner and also fills me with gratitude after almost completely having lost hope in men (and serious abuse). I feel like there is a big big process happening in my heart, evolving step by step. It's still very hard to handle at times (as heartbreak always is tbh) but it's going on. Forwards, not backwards. Been falling so many times and always standing up. Again and again and again. This is what it's all about. Not turning into a toxic mf because of a toxic mf. The latter is nothing but redundant stupidity imo. Evolving and healing is not about becoming bitter and toxic towards others . It's certainly NOT about becoming a cold and heartless person. NO. It's more returning to myself, to the energy of my heartcenter and to my harmonius nature, which has been used, disrupted and manipulated throughout the last years. This journey back to myself is where the healing takes place.
