#shaposts

What do you do when she says it’s over but you know it’s not really her?

You just know her and nothing is adding up or making any sense.

What do you do when she is your world?

You know for a fact that even she knows you would never want to leet here go.

What do you do when the current outcome is not what either of you wants?

Yet to make HER happy you try to let it be but it’s killing you inside.

What do you do when you make each other happy and you just cannot let whatever is going actually be?

So you keep fighting and pushing because you know it cannot be the end.

What do you do if it was?

Cry and not be ok, try to even go on even though it’s very impossible because you have not stopped crying.

What do you do when you know you should keep fighting because your heart is shattered?

It kills me to know that she might actually want to leave and as much as I don’t want to let her go I just want her to be happy.

It almost happened and I felt my body go cold, I felt empty as if my world collapsed and my life ended right then and there.

How do you try to be okay when all you can think about is the love of your life leaving you at any point?

How do you go from “forever and always” to “forever and always...maybe” over a fight that we can get through like anything else?

How do you just let everything that we worked towards and just let us end over something that just happened when we were both angry and clearly didn’t mean?

Either way I can’t lose her now, not ever.

She means so much to me that just the thought of her leaving brings tears to my eyes.

I love her so damn much and I know I need to work on myself and just do better making sure that insecurities from the past doesn’t ruin this.

I love us and want us to last forever and always.

I know for a fact that I would repeat every single thing with her even if it was an option.

She’s my everything; My love, My World, My Life and so much more.

What can I say? 

Things have change but trust and believe I won’t even complain.

It’s almost a year in exactly 4 months and I couldn’t be even more excited; but can I?

You see, that is just it.

I probably can!

Not because it’s just a possibility but because you just do that to me.

Gives me feelings beyond what I thought could be.

Feelings of happiness, peace, love, comfort, ease.

Feelings that tells me “See, you could be happy”.

Feelings that pushes on to senses.

Senses that express how the butterflies never leave.

Senses that expresses how much greater my feelings grow.

Senses that go to accomplishments.

Accomplishments that show me how far I have come and where I should strive for.

That’s just it, my love did that to me.

Things that I didn’t know could be but now is.

 It is actually what it is but that’s definitely not it.