Regardless of your opinion on Raphael and Izzy, you have to appreciate how their romance is written in regards to Raphael’s asexuality.Â
(AN: This post will not address the issues with enabling and drug dependency in their relationship or the harmful stereotypes of Hispanics and Latinos regarding drugs and addiction. That is another conversation and this post will simply discuss their romance and how asexuality fits within their dynamic. As a white woman I don’t have the knowledge to cover the former topic, but as an asexual woman the latter is right up my alley. )
As an asexual myself, this topic is very important to me, especially as it came out around the time we learned Jughead Jones (a well-known aroace character) would be straight for Riverdale’s adaption of the Archie comics.
From the get-go Raphael is very clear about his boundaries. He isn’t interested in sex, but more than that, he even rejected a kiss from Izzy. However, his feelings for her are evident and he is incredibly passionate when it comes to her. He doesn’t need to use his sexuality to convey to her his feelings. He does so with the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes.
I was honestly floored and quite pleased that the writers took this route with Raphael. Many times writers avoid ace characters because they believe asexuality is “boring”. They think the audience wants to see kissing and sex, and if there is none the audience won’t respond and won’t care about the character. If they do write an ace character, it’s a character who sex-positive and willing to express physical intimacy so the audience (likely allosexual) will at least get to enjoy watching. Because let’s be real, television is written for allosexuals.
But Shadowhunters throws that stereotype right out of the window. Raphael is a sex-repulsed asexual who doesn’t even want to go to first base. And that’s okay. He isn’t boring for it. In fact, he is still as romantic as ever. He still looks at Isabelle with love and passion. He is filled to the brim with emotions for her and the audience can tell without him ever having to grab her and kiss her passionately. As I stated before, it’s all in the tone of his voice or the look in his eye. (Bravo David Castro for your brilliant acting in portraying an asexual man in love. There’s no one else I’d rather play Raphael.)
On Izzy’s end, she is curious and has questions at first. She doesn’t exactly understand where he’s coming from. (Of course she doesn’t! Less than 1% of the population is asexual, it is completely normal to be confused and unable to relate.) But Izzy completely accepts what Raphael says to her and doesn’t try to push the boundaries with him. She doesn’t do the whole, “You do like sex, you just don’t know you do because you’ve never good sex before” trope. She hears what he says and accepts it. She doesn’t try to “fix” him. She understands this is who he is, and she isn’t turned off by it or become bored by him.
I was so wary at first about this relationship because I have been let down before. There are next to no asexual characters in television, especially cable television. Writers don’t like aces because they consider us “boring”. Especially on a show targeting female teens and young adults about romance, it’s quite literally unheard of for an ace to be in the main cast of a show like this.
And then there’s Shadowhunters, saying fuck you to negative ace stereotypes and writing a real, relatable ace man in a real and relatable sex-free relationship. In my humble opinion, Raphael is an ace character actually written for the ace audience, and Rizzy is a relationship that does not pander to allosexuals.
