#shadow polycule

He sees it before he feels it.

Does he scream? Does he make a sound? He doesn’t know. His throat feels raw nonetheless.

The explosion from one of those boil-infested darkspawn goes off faster than Kieran can even think to put up a barrier. He’s dazed, ears ringing. The world’s muffled and blurry. The mage tries to move, but he doesn’t seem to go forward.

And then he looks down.

There it is. A sharp, blighted icicle coated in a red sheen, right through his chest.

Then comes the pain.

“Hck—..” Kieran can’t breathe. Every inhale hurts. White-hot pain tears through his chest, small pricks in his back from other sharp points digging into his skin after piercing his armor. He coughs, tastes iron on his tongue—feels something dribble down the corner of his mouth. Kieran’s hands shakily move up, hovering around the ice.

How is he supposed to get out of this? He feels sick. He feels something twisted and disgusting flowing in his veins. Bile rises in his throat. Fuck, fuck, fuck—

Slowly, the ringing in his ears fades. The world comes into focus as he hears the voice of his father nearby. Or perhaps Shirevas..? No. They can’t see him like this, please no—

“Kieran!”

It’s… so anguished. He never wants to hear his lover like that again. Ever. Oh, Maker. He’s going to die, isn’t he? No, nonono, he can’t die. Olivia will kill him. Jordan will kill him thrice over. He can’t. Not yet. Not before—

Just don’t stray where I can’t follow.

Kieran gasps, vision tunneling until his father is the only one he can see. “F–hng.. Father—”

“Sh.. Kieran, Kieran hush.”

Varian’s voice is steady despite the panic bubbling under his skin. His ears twitch with worry as he assesses the damage, because mythal’enaste, his little raven—

“Father I can’t— I ca—HCK!” Kieran’s gasp pulls Varian out of his thoughts.

“I can’t breathe— hurt— Dad I can’t die.. Promised ’livia— I can’t. Shir and El—”

The mage feels his father cradle his face. Serious, determined eyes meet his own. “Kieran, stop talking and save your strength. It hurts, but I need you to breathe. You will not break any promises today.”

And so he does. Kieran breathes. He coughs and it feels like thousands of knives are digging into his lungs, but he breathes.

Shirevas looks on in a panic, watching as Varian’s hands move to Kieran’s shoulders.

“Shirevas.”

Their head snaps up, turning to the Grey Warden with wide eyes. “Yes?”

“I need to pull Kieran off the spike.” A pained whine escapes the boy’s lips at his father’s words, but Varian’s voice remains steady. “You use electricity right? I need you to use it to stop the bleeding. At least until we get to the tents.”

The thought makes their gut churn, but ultimately The Warden’s right. They can only watch and keep the darkspawn at bay while Varian looks back to his little raven.

“Ir abelas, Kieran. I’m going to pull you, and this is going to hurt, but I need you to keep breathing. Stay awake. Stay with me, boy…”

Kieran stares at him wide-eyed as Varian grips him. “What— Father. Dad. Wait.”

“It can’t wait, little man. Ir abelas. I’m so sorry. Shirevas, get ready.”

And the Warden pulls.

Kieran can’t hold back his scream. The pain makes his head light. His skin buzzes and his ears ring. The mage feels another sting against the wound– white hot, searing pain.. He can only let out a pitiful whimper.

He can’t remember much of what happens after. It is all just a blur of dull pain and a sickly sensation coursing through his blood.

-=(+)=-

It takes everything in Shirevas to choke back a sob at his scream. That sound is going to haunt their mind for far too long.

Placing their hands on both ends of the open wound, they use the heat from their electricity to cauterize the wound. A dazed whimper falls from Kieran’s lips and his eyes are glazed over.

They can only follow as Varian starts running to the medical tents.

It’s— Fuck, they hate it. They hate all of it. Shirevas’ hands are too wet. Too red. It is his blood. Maker, his blood is on their hands. They try to wipe it off on their armor. Try and try and try, but their hands are still red. Still wet. Still wet with his blood.

Fuck, they need to wash their hands. Now. Right now—

“Shirevas, kid, stay with me. He’ll be okay. We’re going to make sure of that.”

His voice is strong, and for a second it fills the Shadow Dragon with the smallest sliver of hope. Their amulet still pulls at their chest. Kieran’s still breathing… But they also see the tenseness in Varian’s shoulders. They see how Varian’s ears stay down turned. That small bit of hope hangs on a frayed thread.

“..Okay.”

Please.

Please, Kieran.

“Kier, help me with my hair, would you?”

“Yes, yes. One moment, Di.”

The mage adjusted his coat in the mirror. The Arunault family had been invited to the biggest masquerade of Val Royeaux, and the children were buzzing. With a final adjustment to the sleeves of his suit, he made his way over to his adoptive sister. Her hair was down, and the boy began the familiar ministrations of fixing her hair into an elegant braided bun.

“Are you sure you truly desire to go?” Diane looked up at him from the vanity mirror. He avoided her gaze, instead focusing on the blonde tresses.

“I must, Diane.. After everything, I need to put in a little extra work.”

He would not let himself be a burden to the Arnaults. They already sacrificed too much for him. From taking him and his mother in, knowing they were apostates, to the resources they used to cover up what happened with Xavier…The least he could do was keep their reputation afloat. Luckily, he’d already made quite the name for himself, so keeping it up shouldn’t be too difficult. “Kieran, mother and father–”

“Are more than happy with me staying home, yes.. But I am not. Just– the environment will be familiar. I need this.”

The mage watched his sister sigh, shaking her head slightly. “Fine.. But you are to let me know if anything is amiss. Alright?” 

He smiled softly. Kieran was a lucky boy to have Diane.. She’d taken him under her wing from the first day he’d arrived. Yet another person he could not let down. “I promise, Diane. Now.. Let me continue with your hair.”

The young mage soon finished and took a step back to help his sister stand up. They moved to grab their masks, and it was off to the carriage for the siblings.

The grand ballroom was filled with guests mingling, and for the first time in days, Kieran felt as though he could actually breathe. The solitude was suffocating. Here? He could weave his way through the crowd with a dance he knew well.

The siblings stayed attached at the hip for a while, easing their way through pleasantries for a portion of the night, but they split off eventually, Diane finding her little socialite friends, and Kieran finding himself in a surprisingly engrossing conversation with a few scholars.

Kieran found himself relaxing– his shoulders grew less tense as the night progressed. It was easy for the boy to fall back into the usual game of wits and charm. It helped that he’d found a few people to trade proper conversations with. 

He found himself speaking with them for most of the time– especially this one girl. Icy blue eyes behind her mask and a deep blue dress. She was pretty, that was for certain– but the mage found he was much more interested in the theories and snark. 

It wasn’t often Kieran found someone he could actually enjoy conversing with at a party.. And with everything that had happened concerning Xavier and the Gautiers.. It was a nice respite.

As the first call for dances came, he looked at the girl in blue with a playful bow and charming smile. Just as he always had. “My first dances have always been reserved for my sister.. But would you do me the honour of a second dance?”

She observed him for a moment and it felt as though he was under a magnifying glass. For a second, the mage thought he was about to be rejected until her lips quirked into an easy smirk. “I suppose customs must be upheld, do they not?”

“Then I shall see you after this song.” The subtle snark made him chuckle as he moved to meet Diane on the dance floor.

“How has the night been, brother?” He held Diane’s hand as they fell into the familiar hold of a waltz. They glided across the ballroom with grace, the steps being second nature for them. Kieran smiled gently. “I am alright, Diane.”

“Truly?” “Yes, sister. Truly. I’ve found myself in good company.”

The mage led her through the choreography happily, the dance familiar and something he could go through without thinking too much. It gave him the chance to relax further and simply talk with his sister.

The song came to a close and he gave his older sister a smile and bow, her curtsying in return as they split off once more. His eyes scanned the room, intent on looking for the girl he’d promised his second dance to, but he paused.

The young mage’s eyes landed on a beauty dressed in a white gown. Constellations of freckles scattered across her skin and captivating grey-blue eyes behind a beautiful floral mask.

Maker, she was gorgeous. Kieran couldn’t look away. 

He took a step towards the beautiful girl in white..

Then his golden eyes met icy blue and a coy smirk.

Ah. Yes. That’s right. He owed someone else a dance, first. Perhaps the next dance. Yes, that would do.

The young mage masked his disappointment with another charming smile, holding his hand out to the stranger in blue, then guided her to the dance floor for another dance. It would be rude of him to flake now, and he certainly wasn’t going to risk any poor repute.

It was enjoyable, it was nice. Truly— the girl’s quips were witty and coy, and Kieran found himself smiling with remarks of his own in turn. The banter was nice and his partner knew how to dance well.

But his mind seemed to always fall back to those grey-blue eyes and her constellations of freckles. He couldn’t help it— looking around as he danced. Any chance to catch a glimpse of that dress. He shouldn’t. The mage was on the dance floor with this lovely stranger in a beautiful gown, but the moment the dance was over, Kieran bowed, and was gone. 

He searched the crowds, but there was no sign of her.

Perhaps she was outside?

The mage stepped away from the ballroom and outside into the night. It was quiet as he continued his search. He had to speak to her. At least once. His heart fluttered— terrifyingly familiar to how he felt, running off to hide with Xavier at parties just like this one.

Xavier.

The thought was like dunking his head into ice water.

The name alone almost made the boy stop his search entirely. And he would have, had he not caught a glimpse of white in a quaint little gazebo.

It was her.

The beauty sat there, gaze distant. Kieran’s feet moved before his mind did, walking down the steps to where she sat.

“My my,” Her head turned. Gorgeous grey-blue eyes meeting his gold, “what have we here?”

He could see dozens of thoughts running through her mind, her lovely eyes going through a range of emotions.

The mage walked the rest of the way, standing by the bench she sat on. Kieran kept his voice light, charming. She seemed meek. It was cute, and he did not want to scare her off. “And what is a lovely girl such as yourself doing all by her lonesome?”

She stared at him for a moment, and turned her gaze away. “I’d rather not be mocked, please.”

Merde, her voice was like a melody, one he could listen to endlessly, he thought. Kieran tilted his head at her, curious nonetheless. Perhaps he should calm his tone... “And what makes you think I’m here to mock you?”

Her eyes.. Those pretty grey-blue eyes somehow conveyed so much of her internal emotions. He found himself endeared.

“I’m sorry,” he watched her shift bashfully, fidgeting in her seat. “I should not have jumped to conclusions.”

“You needn’t apologize.”

He sat down, tone softer now. The poor girl seemed to be going through a great deal. Despite his instincts yelling at him to not lower his guard… The mystery girl felt—.. Safe. “You seem to have quite a bit on your mind.”

He watched a soft smile grow on her face. Maker, her smile..

“Just in my thoughts is all.” The beauty mused. “I… I suppose it is rather commonplace. For myself that is.”

Kieran hummed. He couldn’t fault her. As of recently, he found his mind wandering as well.

“Care to share them?” The mage’s heart rammed in his chest. 

“I…”

“Birdie! Are you there?” Kieran’s mind stopped. No, not yet.

“I believe I should go,” ‘Birdie’ stood up, and he watched her courtesy. He was at a loss for words, watching as the mystery girl smiled apologetically at him. “I… I hope you enjoy the tranquility as much as the splendor within the crowd.”

And she was gone.

He sat there for a moment, eyes lingering on where ‘Birdie’ once stood. Too soon.

The boy sighed and turned his head to look at the night sky. He found himself staring up at the stars, mind wandering back to the constellations of freckles, scattered across the girl’s skin. Perhaps the next ball..