#shadow!anon

The first time Julien has felt those shadowy hands he had assumed them a wraith, here to kill him in the accursed Eternal Night. It would not have been the worst way to go, he supposed. But alas it was not to be.

They weren't always that harsh, after that. Julien was not sure if that fact was a matter of intent or one of opportunity. The nearer and closer he was to worlds beyond, the stronger his shadow grew. But mostly it was a touch so light that he wasn't even quite sure when it started. It was his imagination, surely. His shirt or the sheets or a strand of hair touching skin when he wasn't paying attention.

He did not tell anyone. What would he say? That sometime times he thought he could feel his shadow? Could feel something unknown touching and caressing him? They would tell him to lay off the booze and stop getting drugs from Bolaire. Some days he believed it was nothing more than lack of opportunity for the actual human contact his body craved, and was currently denied.

And at least it made night times.. interesting. When he had a chance to sleep alone, and if the moon or Ilium's Blanket shown through a window, or a candle was left lit... his shadow would sometimes come out to play.

They were interesting to watch, but more interesting to feel. He liked to sleep naked, when it was safe to do so, and this seemed to suit his shadow just fine. Touches to his face would encourage him to close his eyes, a hand at his throat to settle.

The touches often were stronger there, near his face. He could feel individual fingers at his lips, and sometimes if he was particularly gentle in closing his lips around them, and the angle of the candle was just right, he could feel them inside his mouth. Not quite enough to suck on here outside the barrowdwell, but enough to feel against his tongue, enough to feel something that wasn't quite full enough, but was still good.

Some nights the shadow touches would circle around his wrists to guide his hands. He could touch himself like that, as though under another's guidance. His shadow liked to draw it out, to bring him close to the edge and then stop, to leave him panting and sweating on the bed before starting back up again.

He supposed he could just... not stop, when that little squeeze came. What was his shadow going to do? But this was more entertaining, and unless someone came to wake him, his shadow had yet to leave him completely unsatisfied in the end.

Some nights his hands would be guided to his mouth, having him suck his own fingers, or down low to fuck himself open. Some nights the shadow would simply have him hold himself open, on his back or on his hands and knees, and he could feel something right against his hole, flickering and touching and for all the lightness of the touch, for the fact that it couldn't push inside him, the sensation was exquisite, living him trembling in the almost-dark.

Julien liked it when the shadow would guide his hands above his head, squeezing to let him know to keep them there. When he could, he would sometimes bring a small length of rope to bed to bind himself with. His shadow seemed to like that, it would pay more attention to him, touches to his face and his chest, something that was almost flicks to his nipples and a hand to stroke up and down his cock. It teased less and was quicker to let him come that way.

And so more rope found its way to bed. Julien learned how to tie both ankles and slip a rope connecting them under the mattress. It was a relief to be able to struggle a bit and now he couldn't dislodge the ghostly hands. His hands he did the best he could, making sure to struggle in a way that wouldn't undo them.

His shadow did not entirely keep their activities to the night time. It was a little thrilling to sometimes feel it brush across his cheek or his thigh as he was talking to someone, not enough to distract him entirely, just enough to let him know his shadow was looking forward to the setting of the sun.

It was just something that was just there, a small quirk in a life that had already been turned upside down, and something much less notable than everything else that was going on. No need to bother anyone.

Until one night when it very, very publicly became very much of a problem and it was all happening very fast and people were saying some very, very crazy things and all the nights alone were flashing through his mind and then a fucking fairy was looking at him with the biggest eyes that such a creature could have.

"Thank you. I know you did it in a shitty, shitty, shitty way.... but thank you."