This reminds me of playing with my father. He hated losing, so I always played two games. One on the board, where he won. And one in my head, where I did.
He was also quite open about my chess-playing. Telling me where I was going wrong, how I’d lost all my key pieces, that I was going to lose the game. Just like you. And just like you, he never knew that I was secretly winning.
Checkmate.
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