"It's..." she starts, slowly chewing on the cookie with narrowed eyes with an almost disgusted twist of lips, as if she was a culinary critic of the highest caliber, and of the most extreme severity. "A little less bad than the one you made last week."
His face fell and his shoulders slumped.
"It's not that bad," James mumbled, falling on the kitchen chair beside him, head lowered in shame, mechanically taking a cookie and nibbling on it.
As he chewed, he realized it was...good enough for him. Not too sweet, but sweet enough for his tastes.
His lowered eyes then caught her small hand taking another cookie, his eyes following the movement as she kicked her legs contently. Her eyes lost somewhere else.
"You brat..." he muttered, a small smile curving his lips.
She looked back at him a little startled before sniffing.
"Just like you, daddy," she grimaced, sticking her tongue to him before wolfing down the rest of the cookie she was eating to take another one.
James watched the whole scene with a smile of disbelief...and relief.
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Rated: T for the mention of Mary's cause of death.
Themes: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Parenting, Ambiguous/Bittersweet Ending, Major Character Death (?????), Post-Canon, Leave + Maria Ending.
Relationships: Maria/James Sunderland, Maria & James and James & Laura.
Prompt: First Step from @monthlywritingchallenges
Summary: James and Maria have a heart-to-heart after a school party of Laura's.
Words: 796.
They were getting back from a school party of Laura's by taxi.
Laura, despite all the playing tough and unreachable as she did, was sleeping on James' lap, her hands over her lap, her head leaned sideways against his chest, lips slightly parted as she drooled a little over his shirt. The night lights shone through the windows like a gathering of little bright dots against James' eyes, and more weakly to the rest of the dim lit car as it moved almost completely silent through the streets.
James would have never imagined the turns his life would take.
Mary's disease, her death by his hand, Laura coming home with him, then she living with his dad and Maria for a while, before he could come back - on probation from prison and after that.Β
He took a deep, shaky breath that wasn't... completely exhausted of life for once, just exhausted from the day, from the routine, his hands pressing Laura gently against himself just in case she could be sliding down his legs. He wasn't even really paying attention to his actions; it just...became natural for him to care for her, like a part of his routine you do so much it stops registering like something different from everything else that was normal for him.
"James..." Maria called him softly, touching the back of his hand with a cold hand of hers.
Slowly, James turned slightly to her as if signing that he was listening:
"Mmm?"
He didn't turn completely, all too relaxed and tired to move more. Plus, they were under a very dim light, so he wouldn't be able to see much if he looked back, especially considering how bad his sight could be in the dark.
Since James didn't hear anything from Maria again for a while, he turned to her more fully, looking at her sideways.
"What is it, Maria?" he asked hoarsely, more from weariness than anything else.
She stared at him for a moment and then said, eyes drifting to her lap like a leaf moving through the sky as her hands silently fidgeted there.
"I don't think this is working..." she said quietly as if to not be heard, scared or ashamed to say those words, for being the one to say it.
James' eyebrows rose, his breath hitching before he loosened up again and, after a bit of consideration, eyes drifting as he tilted his head to check if Laura had woken up with their talking, reflexively holding her closer, he nodded, slowly but surely.
"I know..." it was his answer. He knew, had always known it wouldn't work; deep down, he knew. He had wanted it to work, thought for a second it would work longer than it actually did, at least as a distraction, as a comforting thing for the both of them, but it didn't. And it wasn't like it had been working...in weeks now.
They barely touched each other these days. Barely gave each other pecks every once in a while to demonstrate support, to give some comfort to the other.
He could feel her staring at him so his eyes drifted back to her, trying to gauge her reaction, if she was sad, if he should hug her for not feeling what she used to want from him, want so hard it pulled at his heartstrings and made him want to love her back; but he couldn't, not the way she wanted, because she was and wasn't whom he used to love.
Her cheek twitched, he saw from the corner of his eye.
"I'm..." she started, then stopped before nodding, "I'm at peace with that now, James..."
Now he turned to her fully, as if not believing and yet, hoping for it.
James tried to smile at her, even if it was a sad one - just at least a little bit encouraging and she gave him a half smile back.
He held out his hand, before making sure Laura was secured with his other arm.Β
After briefly looking at it, Maria held his hand. James enlaced their fingers together, gently squeezing her hand.
"Thank you for caring for her..." James murmured just so she was the only one hearing it, words laced with sincerity and gratitude.
She smiled:
"I could never let her alone without getting you straight about caring for her."
He let out a startled chuckle, small, quiet, a barely there breath.Β
A few minutes later they got out of the car.Β
However, when James was trying to fish for his keys in front of his door, as he held a sleepy and slightly moody Laura over his chest, he felt a chill. He looked back, apprehensively, because he knew in his gut what had happened, andβ¦
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If you think about it, the hospital is the only "big"/important location that James doesn't meet anyone else, not Angela, nor Eddie (I'm pretty sure Laura isn't canonically stated as being as much real as the other two.)
And I think that is because...It's his and only his personal hell (between the three). The most intimate one, personally curated for him in particular.
It's the Hospital that symbolizes the disease that cut his life in half, which ended his domestic bliss/dream with Mary, which changed Mary to someone "harder" to love, turned her into a "stranger" he couldn't recognize ("Mary, what are you saying?")
The only "things" he has here is his pain (sick, in pain and surly "Mary", represented by the lips monster) and his repressed desires (healthy, seductive and interested Maria)...And what does he do to Maria? Consciously or not (probably not), he locks her away, like his feelings.
But Laura represents (sometimes, brutal and unforgiving) Honesty and, in true Silent Hill fashion, "mischievously" leads James to face the truth, the real memories, the pain that led to the end. The pain is the path through which he will be taken to the truth, because that was what happened to him (and what he ended doing to Mary): ugly and honest pain.
