#sfmsecretsanta

For a moment nothing happened.

Then he bent down, just enough so he could grasp the piece that hit his shoe between his fingertips.

His hand shook as he looked down at the orange tinted fragment held between his fingers, slightly shaking just as his body now was.

Of course something like this would happen today, Kamal thought bitterly. The day had just been getting worse and worse and worse.

First, the office had changed his hours while he was asleep so he missed part of his work day because he hadn’t even been given a notice twelve hours before and got yelled at. He hadn’t even been able to eat anything because of all the paperwork he had gotten swamped with by the dentists because some of their assistants hadn’t come in and his boss offered him up to help, without telling him!

Then, just as he was about to clock out, some lady came in and shouted at him about a bill! And he understood her anger, bills sucked, but she didn’t have to yell curses and threats at him.

And it wasn’t even a bill for their office! It was an orthodontic bill. They didn’t deal with braces, that was two doors down! But, she wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t like he had been the one to decide the prices for braces - in fact he was certain those dudes were making her pay way more than she should have - but she wouldn’t listen until she ran out of breath. And the woman hadn’t even apologized for threatening him or making him clock out late!

Once he finally got out of the office he couldn’t get out of the parking lot because two of the doctors next door were arguing right at the exit and no matter what he said they ignored him. And when he reached his limit and honked to get their attention they both acted like he was the jerk! Kamal still didn’t get out of there for five minutes after he got them to notice his car - they moved sooooooo slowly, as if they thought they were punishing him for honking. …And in a way, they were! Because of them he didn’t even have time to grab food before coming back to the greenhouse, since the only place he could grab food during the holidays on the way there closed almost immediately after lunch.

And finally, their newest plant - a gorgeous water willow flower Boris had somehow gotten to grow in the pot now shattered around his feet - might not survive.

All because he had tripped on a bag of potting dirt Kamal knew he had asked Habit to put away.

…But he couldn’t let this stress him out.

He took a deep breath in, and started to count to ten.

He had to control himself, he had to.

He let it out, and started to count to ten again.

Losing control is how he lost his first job out of school. Losing control had led him to The Habitat, to that machine-.

“Kamal, Are you in here?”

The shard suddenly dug into his palm, causing him to start to curse before he cut himself off and dropped it.

But, even though he tried to muffle his voice and the noise he was making, he still alerted Boris to where he was. “Kamal! You’re hurt.”

Kamal pulled out their little medical bag and took out a Band-Aid. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Are, are you sure? Do you need any disinfectant spray, or a towel, or-.”

“No, really Boris, it’s ok. See? It’s not even bleeding too much." He held his hand up so Boris could see it, "I'll be fine, let's just... pick this up.” Kamal started to count again in his head as he bent down to start collecting the pottery pieces-.

“Oh no…” He flinched out of his thoughts as he heard Boris’ voice again, near the spot the water willow floated away.

Kamal had honestly forgotten about it in the stress of the day. “Sorry, for hurting it I mean. Is it still salvageable?”

“I think so. I might be able to, but it’s been out of the water for awhile. It might be tough, I wish at least some of the water was standing, or it was put in new water as soon as it fell.”

Kamal knew, he knew Boris didn’t mean anything cruel with his comment. He probably hadn’t even thought about how that could’ve been read.

But, sometimes, a person’s voice works before their brain decides what to say, especially on rough or terrible days.

And today was a rough day. “Well, I’m sorry I got distracted by the pot shattering to think about that.”

“O-oh, I wasn’t blaming you Kamal.”

“How could you not?! I broke it!”

“You didn’t mean to, right? And besides we can fix it-.”

“Fix it? You have an idea about how to fix it!? Like your plan to fix everything with Martha-!”

His teeth clicked together with how quickly he closed his mouth, but in his mind he hadn’t closed it quick enough.

He hadn’t meant to yell, especially not something like that.

Really, he hadn’t. They had pushed that and everything from that time far, far behind them - somewhere even someone searching for it if they delved deep into his mind wouldn’t be able to find it. They had both agreed to do so.

And then he used it against Boris.

It was just…

The entire day leading up to now had been terrible.

That wasn’t an excuse though.

“I…” What could he say?

What could he say to fix something like this?

“I didn’t…” His voice left him again.

The air within his lungs left as well - he couldn’t breathe.

Before he fell completely, he felt a hand grab his own and gently started rubbing the back of it with their thumb.

“It’s o kay, Kamal.”

“N-no it’s not, I… I shouldn’t have said that.”

“...Maybe. But, maybe you should have. Perhaps… it’s something we should talk about with or without someone else to listen too. I didn’t know you were still hurt by that.”

“I… I-I’m not-.”

You wouldn’t have brought it up if it wasn't. I believe you didn’t mean to… but, maybe after the day you’ve had, it dug that hurt up too.”

Kamal looked up to Boris, “How…?”

He couldn’t finish his question, but luckily Boris knew what he wanted to ask. “Your office called me a bit ago. You left this behind,” Boris pulled out Kamal’s gardening bag from his own and handed it to the shorter man as he continued, “While I was grabbing it, one of the girls mentioned the woman who held you there by screaming. I’m sorry you had to go through that."

“It’s ok..”

“Are you sure? I just want to remind you, we can always find someone for you to talk to as well, you know. If it’s still hurting you, then wouldn’t it be good to figure out how to make it hurt less?”

Air finally returned to his lungs as Boris continued to speak, but his voice hadn’t recovered as much. Weakly, his words came out. “How… how are you so calm about this?”

“Well… thanks to Gloria, I think about stuff like this like flowers.” As he said this Boris picked up one of the pots next to them, one holding a yellow rose. “Roses are pretty, they smell nice, they brighten up the lives of the people who grow them or place them in their homes… but they have sharp thorns, no? I think a lot of things - like relationships, whether they’re platonic or romantic - are the same. …And besides,” Boris gave Kamal a big grin, “I think as long as you don’t make a big machine to do something like, turn people into flowers, we can work it out.”

Kamal let out a rough laugh as the man spoke the last sentence, brushing away some stray tears. “...I don’t know, we did somehow work out you making a giant smile machine. Don’t I get to make an evil machine too, for fairness?”

Boris smiled back at him and softly laughed, “I guess so! You’ll have to show me the blueprints for that one though, I would love to know how it’d metamorphosize people. But for now…” He picked up the water willow Kamal had dropped earlier, setting it into a new pot before holding it towards him. “How about we check on the rest of the garden? Then, we can make some soup!”