#sfca

6:30 PM (Cont.)

After they were done picking up what we needed, we proceeded to continue our journey. Oh, I think that I also forgot to mention that we arrived at the region's capital at 6 PM, and the welcome arc picture that Mom laughed at, that's the welcome arc for the capital.

We hadn't arrived at the destination yet, but we were close. Dad's hometown was on the edge of the country, and their house was just a 5 minute walk away from the seaside. Since we weren't quite there yet, I closed my eyes and tried to take a short nap that failed because of the adrenaline rush in my body.

6:45 PM

Driving by, we can see fleeting glimpses of the glistening sea, which my parents and uncle gawked at every time we passed by it. It had been a very long time since we last had visited. About 2-3 years ago? I'm not sure.

I stared at the sea solemnly, it's bright orange hue vivid and clear. We had a lot of fun memories with it, but it's all in the past now. Everything had changed.

7:00 PM

We stopped by a small shop to buy a few gallons of water, which we forgot to buy, causing Dad to slightly reprimand Mom since she had the grocery list.  I plugged my headphones in and turned the music on to max. Luckily, he didn't shout at her, probably because he's back home and in a good mood.

7:15 PM

Thank God we had arrived. I got out of the car and immediately asked Mom our rooms. She told me that both of us would be sleeping in Dad's old room, while Dad sleeps in the living room, and Uncle in uncle's old room.  I gathered my belongings and placed them in our room, then changed to a plain white shirt and yellow paperbag shorts. Once I did, I felt like I could finally breathe.

I went outside and helped them unpack. After that, I looked around the house and realized a musty smell permeated the air because of the still air and dusty furniture. I opened the windows for quite a while until the fresh breeze entered, it didn't last long though since they asked me to close it back because of the mosquitoes.

Having nothing to do, I wiped the dust off the furniture and swept the floor. After that, I went to the kitchen and found my old friend, May, and a few other people, talking to my parents. She glanced at me and smiled widely. I went to her and talked a bit and she asked me if we could go by the seaside. I agreed and asked my parents. They agreed too but told me to come back home early for dinner.  

I packed my sling bag again with the necessities, but added a flashlight this time, which I borrowed from Dad, just in case my phone runs out of battery and we'd have no source of light.

7:30 PM

May and I sat by the sand quietly, hugging our legs up to our chest with our heads hung low. I don't know how to start a conversation. It had been years since our last encounter and she had probably changed. I tried, but it ended up as small talk.

I glanced up at the sky and saw darkness. The clouds covering up the twinkle of the stars. I checked my phone, it's quite late already.

"It's 7:33 PM, do you wanna go back yet?" I asked May.

"Not yet, how about you?"

"Same."

I grabbed a nearby stick and started drawing Shrek on the sand underneath me.

"What's that?" May asked.

"It's-"

"MAYY!! Oh there you are, can you help me over here?!" A distant person shouted from afar, holding a net. I couldn't quite see his face so I don't know who he is, but even if I did see his face, I wouldn't know him. I'm not so familiar with the other natives here.

"Coming!" She stood up and patted herself to remove sand on her body. "I have to go, sorry Bea." She said apologetically then ran.

I'm alone now, but maybe it's for the better. I threw my stick towards the sea and gazed ahead. The sea then retaliated by splashing water repeatedly on my feet, which I found amusing.

It was still quite early before dinner so I walked by the seashore. I was beginning to get farther and farther and then saw a large patch of darkness. I quickened my pace and saw the mouth of a cave.

I opened my flashlight, and headed inside.

8:00 PM…

[TBC, Next update is idk]

Published Nov. 25, 2022

NOTE TO SELF:

I may have forgotten to include this, but our home (where we're from) is in the middle of the country, and our hometown (where we're going) is about north, the very edge of the north. So just to get to those pristine waters is long, hard work. That's why we rarely go there. When I was a kid, I didn't really understand, but now, I kinda do.

I definitely understood more about it when my parents told me that when I was three and we went there (when we had no car yet), I threw up on the bus, and Dad was drenched in my vomit. They learned about two lessons there. One, don't bring a baby on a long trip. Two, if you want to bring your baby, make sure you feed them antihistamine first, and bring an extra set of clothes too, for the parents and the baby.

1 PM

We passed by a tollgate and listened to the podcast on the radio, so I turned my music off. The content they were giving was ok, not something I would really like very much, but also not something that I would hate. The people were talkative and lively. I couldn't remember what they said but it was really entertaining to listen to.

During that time, wide meadows were beside the tollway, on the background were rows of mountains. Higher above, the sky was made of refreshing blue, with white clouds scattered like wisps of cotton.

We didn't know an hour had already passed and the podcast had ended.

3 PM

Not much had happened during 2 PM, it's mostly traffic. With the sun high up, it was very hot, and most of us were sweating. My stomach had calmed down so I ate what we had.

Bored after eating, we passed by a cemetery. A couple of graves have a cell room made for them. I asked what use those roofs were anyway, since their bodies were already inside a coffin. But it was not in my place to interfere. They do what they like, and I do mine.

Surprised on the sight, my uncle and mom talked about it. Listening to their chatter, I had to restrain myself so hard to not say:

"Uncle don't worry, you'll also have your own room when you die. I'll make sure of it."  

It was a bad joke.

4 PM

We later arrived at the entrance of the province. We were still quite far away, Dad had to admit, but we are only a few dozen kilometers away before reaching Dad's hometown. He was quite excited at that fact and decided to take a picture of us near the welcome arc of the region. I did not hesitate to take a picture, I was not welcoming to it, but I did not hesitate. I don't like taking pictures, but I like looking at pictures of others. I see myself as someone ugly, and my looks shouldn't be saved and shown to others, probably to laugh at. And for every picture they take, my self-esteem lowers. I guess it's because I was conscious that they were observing me and I was concerned about what they think of me.

After the picture, my parents both told me to smile more. They said I should try smiling in the mirror more often. But how could I practice and stare at the mirror when I would look away from it every so often. My looks were unbearable, and my fashion tastes questionable. If the mirror had a face, it too would probably look at me in disgust.

Enough of this self-pity though, I don't like it, it just makes me feel like the situation I am in is the worst when it isn't. In that thought, my cousin's family came to mind. During this summer, she has to take care of their store, tutor her siblings, take care of the youngest, try to find work, and even nurse her mother sometimes. And she's fifteen! I worry and admire her sometimes, whenever I go there, my mood lifts up, since the people around me are able to fight such tough battles, I just get inspired and feel their energy in the wind and get it too. Sometimes after I just get home from my cousins' home, tired and all, I'd clean my room even if it's already 7 pm and Dad is watching a movie after picking me up.

After overcoming my self-pity and got bored of my thoughts, I turned to my side and took a nap.

6 PM

We passed by another welcome arc and I was woken up to take a picture. I did the usual and tried to get back to sleep. Suddenly, my mom laughed out loud after inspecting the pictures.

In the picture, my eyes were drowsy, my clothes unkept, and there was a wet stain on my left shoulder made out of drool. It's disgusting but lol.

6:30 PM

Glancing outside, we passed by a market. Dad, Uncle, and Mom started discussing our consumables like water, shampoo, soap, food, etc. We didn't bring much of those and only for the trip. So they went shopping and Mom dressed me up. She told me I was to meet my new relatives and I had to be polite, well fuck. I was not exactly a polite person, but I was also not rude, I guess. I was just awkward. Like, after saying the usual greetings, I'd stay silent throughout and just listen to them. I was afraid that they would think that I was not contributing to the conversation, but it was really because I had nothing in my life that was notable about. Most of the time, I was playing online games with friends, doing some research and caring for my plants. Not doing traveling and going outside!

5 AM

I felt a sudden force on my feet, my feet was being pulled away. Mom then slapped my limb and said,

"Hurry up, we're going to be late. Just dress up quickly then we'll go."

To make sure that I wake up, she turned the lights on my bedroom, which burned my eyes. As if that wasn't enough, she turned the fan off. Though it was early morning, it was summer, so the room temperature immediately began to increase and I started to sweat. This made me so uncomfortable, left with no choice, I got up, rummaged a few clothes in my closet, and dressed up. I ended up wearing tight monochrome jogging pants, a loose mustard colored shirt, and a high ponytail, paired with green rubber shoes. I know my fashion sense is bad but I really didn't know it was THIS bad.

I grabbed my usual red sling bag and packed my phone, charger, head phones, a small pillow, and a pack of gum. Outside, they were already waiting for me. Dad had already turned on our small car and drove it out of the garage. Mom was counting and re-checking the items for our trip, and Uncle was scrolling on his phone. After Dad had prepared the car outside, Uncle began to move and helped Mom place our baggage in the car. The large items were already inside yesterday, so only the light necessities that we had recently used were left to be packed inside, for example, our blanket, towels, etc.

I went inside the four-seater car and went to my usual spot, the back, left side seat. I really liked it since I could lean my head on the window sometimes and my left arm would be sitting on the car's handle. It's the coziest spot in the car for me. No one can take it from me.

Once I felt comfortable, I opened a pack of gum and began to chew the two tablets inside. I then put on my headphones and set my playlist. After that, I took my small pillow, held it in my left hand, my arm leaning on the car handle. I could stay like this for hours.

5:40 AM

We arrived at the capital. When I woke up from my very short nap, I saw the road was lit with yellow lights on the side. We were on an overpass. On the side of the road were sky-high buildings, lit up brightly, their presence highlighted in the night. We were driving about as high as the building's tenth floor, give or take. We were traveling fast, so the yellow lights looked like streaks of light that were following us. The sight was beautiful. The sun had barely risen yet, and the sight of it made it look like it is from an urban sci-fi movie.

7 AM

I take back what I said earlier. The position made my left arm numb after a few minutes.

We later arrive at....somewhere. I forgot the name of the place that Mom told me, but we are somewhere. Let's call it 'Food Stop' instead, since this is where we stopped by to get our breakfast. There were many restaurants that were in there, about five or more different ones. The restaurant we had dined in just opened the moment that we had arrived so we were its first customers. My Mom asked me if I could tag along with her to the bathroom so I did.

So we took a quick bathroom break. Their bathroom is spotless and clean. That's all I could say, I couldn't say the other things that were done inside there, that's way too private.

When Mom and I returned to our seats, our orders were ready....after thirty minutes, 'cause you don't get your food as fast as you go to the bathroom. Anyway, I accidentally ordered a huge breakfast, which I thought was small, since the picture on the menu was small. In reality, it was pretty big, the length of the plate is almost the size of my ribs. I don't think I could finish it.

Mom and Dad both got a meal consisting of pan-fried milk fish, garlic rice, and eggs. Uncle and I got this "American Breakfast", consisting of a girthy sausage (about 5-6 inches long), a few strips of bacon, two big pancakes (4 inches or more in diameter), and of course, an egg. I'm sorry if I keep using inches for my measurements. There was this one time my teacher taught me that one thumb is one inch long. I don't know if that's true so if you want, I can replace inches with thumbs.

8 AM

I was the last one to finish my meal and it took me an hour to eat it all. By myself. Dad and Mom offered a helping hand by taking the strips of bacon, which I didn't appreciate, but it was help nonetheless. We rarely cooked bacon at home so I was always pretty excited to eat it. Anyways, help is help. I appreciate their goodwill.

At last, I'm quite proud by not wasting food. Next time, I've learnt my lesson to not order that anymore.

10 AM

Oh, Lord please help my stomach feels so bad. I feel like I'm between retching and crying every few seconds. I haven't thrown my food out of my stomach yet, I'm still crying.

11 AM

Later, I found out that the source of my misery was my tight jogging pants. I've learned the second lesson that if you plan to wear something tight, don't eat like an elephant.

12 PM

I couldn't eat lunch at all, so I let Mom, Dad, and Uncle eat by themselves. I told them that I may have just eaten a whole day's worth of food in one sitting and I couldn't eat lunch at all, even if I tried to. They were quite worried so I assured them that I'd eat once I felt that the food had gone down. I know they love me so they made me take a bite, but I'm sorry but your love may just kill me and pop my stomach like a balloon. I might have forgotten to write this down earlier but our journey was about thousands of kilometers away. Like, 500 kilometers? I don't exactly remember. So that's why this trip is taking so long. I asked dad earlier while they were eating their chicken. Turns out, because of heavy traffic, we may just arrive there late in the evening or worse, at night.

I had been calling the CA warmline a lot.  There was a girl who always had to have the last word in.  She would disagree with what you said right at the end.  If you wanted to say that you didn’t agree, she would cut you off, saying time was up.

I told someone else on the line about that and told her that my plan was to ask how long I have to talk.  Then I would talk to that amount of time and hang up.  Then I wouldn’t allow that girl to invalidate my entire call at the end of it.  That person agreed it was a good idea.

The next time I got the girl who had to have the last word in, I asked how long the call would be.  She wouldn’t tell me.  She said that she got to decide.  I took the shortest time possible - 10 minutes and said that I would talk to 10 minutes and hang up.  She told me that she could hang up before that.

I said that I wanted to make sure that the reason for cutting the calls short wasn’t to help more people but to give control to the call takers to cut you off when they didn’t want to talk to you or to get the last word in.

She reiterated that it was up to the “counselor” to decide how long the call is and when the call is over.

I asked for her manager.  She said she could give my phone number to a manager.  I told her that I would be playing telephone tag, so was there somewhere else I could call, she said no.  Then she hung up.  Before the 10 minutes.