#severinw93

Well fuck. That was my one good/clean plan. I need a term that’s like cockblocking, but being kept from killing yourself by nature or otherwise. 

It’s like being around my father and his friends as a child. I know how to deal with it. But honestly it’s draining in a different way than working at the college was.  At the college I had to watch my language, watch how I dressed, be careful how much of the “raunchy or morbid” part of my interests I let slip. But there were feminists. There were hypermasculine dudebros, but I had women who knew what was up to talk to. Now I don’t have to watch how I dress or what I say, but I’m around people who are the opposite of feminists. But instead of wasting time I get to actually use my skills I’ve been working on for a lifetime. I guess no matter where I am it’s always going to be a hostile environment because of who and what I am. One day I’ll open a lgbt tattoo parlor. With mostly queer women working there.

When my diaphragm was paralyzed, I came to terms with the fact that I was never going to run a 5k, let alone a marathon. Now that running is back on my list of possibilities, I’d like to run a marathon before I die. Oh, and open a cat sanctuary. Two big goals lol.

Most match making ends badly with me, I’m too picky. I either need to meet someone who is pushy/outgoing/persistent or else become those things. 

Thanks I appreciate it!!! LMAO. And its true I will. But this helps. One more weapon in the ‘okay maybe its not quite so terrible’ arsenal.  But seriously, I get matched with Girls on Tinder and they’re like 24 and have these deeply set wrinkles and crows feet and its like “Do I look like that and just don’t see it? Am I supposed to look like that???” Plus my boss decided to be an asshole and was like “So you’re 30.” “I’m 28.” “...So you’re 30.” LIke MOTHERFUCKER, do not round up.  And seriously, you have not aged at all.  You know who else hasn’t aged? Gerard Way, his face has like zero wrinkles, if he dyed his hair and shaved and lost a little weight he’d look exactly the same as 10 years ago. (Not that he needs to, his dad bod is just fine, but its the only thing that you can visually tell is different from 2010.)

Yeah true! That explains a lot. Binge drinkers and alcoholics too. That shit will put lines on your face like nothing else. That and tanning being as popular as it is here. A couple folks I’ve been matched with look closer to 40 than 30. There could also be folks lying about their age. I don’t understand how some folks do drugs and look like current day Iggy Pop at 32, but then some folks just get pickled by it and look exactly the same form age 30 to age 60. Edit: Sorry, I come off as a shallow asshole because I sort of am but am trying to not be like that. :X

It’s the fucking worst. Like let me off myself now while they can still say I had so much potential. 

I have not. But I know there’s an epidemic of loneliness among lgbt folks, because we have all the usual dating woes of the larger society, but with a tenth of the population, and no chance of finding anyone if you don’t live in a major metropolitan area. It still feels like a personal character failing.