#sevensmind

recently have discovered it REQUIRES to be paired with something else 

bc my adhd says no

like audial and reading along

or visual and audial

i kinda wanna suffer from the beat tho that sounds droolingly delighful

I didn’t miss you

I miss you

But I don’t

It’s a memory I miss, that makes me foolish

Most have figured it out it seems

That love and fair weather friends go hand in hand

It isn’t love we hold onto

But an idea of it

-

Do you still hold me as a memory, a mistake, or do you hold your breathe a little at the mention of my name?

And could you show me what I did to leave my shadow at your doors.

Maybe then we could meet again

she was dressed in grey workout clothes

a huge smile on her face

caught me by suprise

gave me a huge hug as she let me know

you were engaged

in the moment i felt shock

because why was she at my front door

she seemed sorry for me

yet i felt a sort of freedom from her embrace

-

it’s okay

i can tell she loves you better

than i did

all of my holly and

all of my jolly

have been taken from me

i wonder if i ever really had it to begin with

what stage of grief is this?

what am i grieving?

myself?

does this mean i have finally hatched

not out of joy

but curiosity

curious to see where i can begin to feel

a smudge of the magic we used to make

together

tethered to others

why must the feeling stay in her

why must it fly over him

no more whys please

be wise

- it’s just a second in the mirror

One of the most distressing things I hear from people who want to ‘convert’ me is them mentioning that I am ‘pretty’

If I don’t think im pretty that’s my own problem

But it’s the fact that that’s one of the only reasons they want you to stay alive, so strangers

If I wasn’t ‘pretty’ would my struggles make sense to you then? Would there be more to dig up?

Of course there is. I know I need to get under my own surface, that is my plan. I am not aimless anymore