#seungming

The reality that existed outside of the little bubble that Seungmin created was slowly fading away. Yet noises slipped under the door every few minutes as one of the members yelled about losing whatever game it was that they were playing. Typically, he isn’t one to slip away early but when he saw you trying to hide the yawn that forced its way out of you, he found a half-baked excuse to pull you both off the couch and down the hall to his room.  Part of him wanted to pop this new reality he created, but the other part of him knew that doing so would only disturb your sleeping form. Instead Seungmin settled for running his fingers up and down your exposed back, stealing glances at the way your lips were slightly parted as you slept soundly despite all the ruckuses. Oh, he was obsessed with the way your head was laying on his chest. Adjusting his head, he let his eyes stare up at the ceiling as his mind drifted to and from different memories with you.

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When he first met you through a mutual friend, he didn’t know what to say or how to act because he consistently found himself distracted by the way you smiled or tipped your head back while bringing your hand up to cover your laugh without a care in the world. It felt like a scene from his favorite drama as he continued to watch you interact with everyone in the group. Butterflies filled his stomach when you turned to him as he addressed a random question from Changbin, Seungmin’s eyes never leaving yours as he talked.

When you finally left with your friend, waving goodbye what felt like only to him, smile still covering your face, Seungmin couldn’t take his mind off you for days. His mind was filled with your smile, your laugh, your face. All he wanted was to meet you again, so this time he could ask for your number and be able to talk to you whenever he possibly could. Days passed before he mustered up the courage to just ask Changbin to ask his friend for your number because schedules continued to take up all this time. In no time, he found himself unable to stop smiling any time he saw your name pop up on his screen.

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Off days always filled with you, going on random dates, spending every moment together, fingers intertwined as you explored the city late at night. Finding every excuse to hear your laugh and watch the smile he was falling for spread across your face, not caring if he made a fool of himself anymore. Why was he always so nervous to look into your eyes? All he wanted to do was memorize the way that they sparkled when you talked about something you loved, or how they got bigger when he talked about his job, knowing that you were listening so intently to every word he said. When a rainstorm ruined a date, you pulled him to your place, soaking wet as you both giggled while kicking your shoes off. Those butterflies returned as he watched you float around the space you called home, putting on a record you loved.

In a heartbeat, Seungmin found himself pulling you into his chest, spinning you around the room, mesmerized as you tipped your head back letting him dance around your living room with you. The soft sound of the rain accompanied by the gentle ballad, had him pulling you even closer, tipping your chin up to kiss your lips quickly before picking you up and twirling you in the air. It took until the end of the song as you both settled down, moving lightly back and forth before he realized that he had finally shared his first kiss with you, a blush slowly creeping up his neck as your hands rubbed his back, voice humming to the newest song that came on.

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The soft of his own sniffles filled his ears as he only pulled his knees closer to his chest. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard to be an idol. It was supposed to be something that he loved doing, but reading and hearing comments about him, made it feel like the world was crashing down on him and he hated how small it made him. He was a mess when he overthinks the little things in his head. The faint sound of Chan talking made its way to his ears before the next round of tears began to fall. Why was it so hard for him to just be happy? Gently fingers found their way into his hair at the base of his neck, as another hand pulled his head against what he could think was a chest. The once quiet sniffles were now full sobs as he grabbed at the arms that held him.

As his insecurities found themselves settling deep in his chest, he finally realized that it was your arms that held him and your fingers that played with his hair, voice murmuring it’s ok Minnie repeatedly to the point he thought that you might lose it because of him. In the quiet moments that your voice left, all he could think about was he never wanted to lose you, lose those moments when his world felt like it was burning down, knowing that he could crawl back into the safety of your warm embrace. How you’d be the walls that kept him safe. A place to come back to not matter how back things get in the outside world that wasn’t here. No one knew, but with you, he saw hope again.

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Snapping back to the present as Han’s voice filled his once quiet room, he again looked back down at your peaceful body. This is more than anything that he’s felt before. Even the loud moments in his life now brought peace into his world as long as you were by his side. The once overwhelming self-doubt was now a bearable thing that he could get over if you were there for him. You were everything that he wanted, but he didn’t think he’d find. Seungmin couldn’t help but smile turning his attention to the wall near his door, eyeing jacket that you bought him that hung there. A jacket that you impulse bought when he told you that he was at the company building so early that he wasn’t awake enough to remember a coat. Within an hour, staff was handing him the shopping bag it came in saying that you dropped it off on your way to whatever thing you had planned that day.

Slightly jumping as he felt your fingers poke into his side, signaling that you were awake, a low giggle escaping your lips as his eyes landed on you watching your face scrunch up knowing that you either scared or tickled him. Do you think Han won or lost with that shriek? You mused nuzzling into Seungmin’s side. A breathy scoff escaped his lips as he murmured, I bet he lost to Felix, stopping his fingers that haven’t left your skin. Casting his attention fully on you, caused you to look up at him, smile blooming on your face, only forcing his lips to twist up into a similar smile, knowing that you never cared when the boys were overly loud on game nights. Right? Or was he just assuming that you didn’t mind? Quickly, his brain worked itself into overdrive, overthinking you previous words, smile fading instantly. No, wait, do that again, you whispered poking his cheek, so he knew what you were referring to.

Please, you asked into the dimly lit room, making his heart swell at the softness of the ask. You had told him countless times before how much you enjoyed it when he smiled his genuine smile, explaining that it was the reason that you kept coming back to him with fun stories from your day. It was the first time that you had said that you loved him, well not him, but his smile. He had melted into a flustered mess that Minho had the pleasure of teasing the rest of the day. You always loved the things that he hated about himself. Allowing the memory of Minho teasing him to bring the smile back to his face, he couldn’t help but beam even more when you said thank you Minnie, before resting your head on his chest again.

In these irreplaceable moments, he can’t help but think how truly amazing you are. Or what life would have been like if you had been introduced to him far sooner than you were. Would he have worked up the same courage to ask his hyung for your number or would he have waited longer? Was it possible that some of the things he had dealt with alone, you would have been there by his side to deal with them instead? Could he have come up with all the ideas of dates or plans if this had been any earlier? He didn’t know, so instead he settled for knowing that you came into his life at all and brought with you this sunshine and warmness that he didn’t know that he needed. You were someone who was worth the wait of all the years of my heartbreak¸ he suddenly confessed, causing your head to immediately snap up and look at him.

I know now that I found the one that I love, he finished staring into your eyes. I’m so in love with you, he laughed seeing how large your eyes had become. It was the first time since he met you that he said those words and, in this moment, it just felt right. In truth, he wanted it to be some grand gesture, but he knew that wasn’t either of you, but saying it while your legs were tangled together was.

His heartbeat picked up as he waited for you to either return your head back to his chest, content with having you know how he felt, or for you to say it back. I love you so so much, you confessed, adjusting to kiss his lips. When he pulled apart, he could see the tears lining your eyes, never having heard those words from previous boyfriends in your life. Come closer, let me be home tonight, he breathed somehow pulling your body even closer to his, tucking your head into his chest to allow the tears to fall if you needed them to. Planting a kiss on the top of your head, he hummed your favorite song before you both broke out laughing at hearing whatever noise Minho just made from the room next door. To Seungmin, you truly were worth the wait so that he could have you in this moment, a place where his heart was so open to love rather than closed off as it had been in the past. He fell so hard in love with you the day he met you and was so happy getting to spend however much time he got with you in this life.