#seukmin

⌦ (Reader's pov) Months went by before you felt well enough to go out with your friends again, and Wonwoo's words kept echoing in your mind whenever you would get a text from them inviting you out. Tonight, you decided that wallowing in your own self-pity wasn't going to make anything better; there was only one thing that would make everything go back to the way it was previously, and you weren't ready to face the music just yet.

"Can I borrow this dress?" Your friend Chelsea asked, holding up a black sequin dress that sparkled when the light hit it. Your parents would always say something along the lines of it hardly being a dress every time you wore it to a family function. Not that you went to those much anymore.

You looked up from your spot on the floor, moving the mascara wand from your face so you didn't mess up your makeup. You had a bathroom with nice lighting, but nothing is better than sitting on the floor in your bedroom in front of a floor-length mirror. Your makeup always looks better when you do it that way.

"I was gonna wear that, but I guess you can wear it," you said before turning your attention back to the mirror and finishing your makeup.

"Thank you! I promise I'll give it back!" she exclaimed as she bounced off into your bathroom with the dress. You rolled your eyes slightly, letting out a sigh, because you knew you would never see that dress again. Spritzing your face with setting spray, you then began to do your hair, curling the strands into loose waves.

You looked at yourself in the mirror once you found a new dress. It wasn't nearly as flattering as the black sequin one you loaned to your friend, but you still looked damn good in it. You wondered if any of your friends were picking up on your less than enthusiastic demeanor; after all, you were frowning in the mirror.

Yejun stepped behind you, placing her hands on your shoulders as she looked at you through the mirror.

"You okay?" She asked. She was the only friend you had in this group of girls that you actually considered a good friend. Even though she would abandon you along with the other girls when you went a little too hard, she would always call you the day after and make sure you made it home safely.

"Not really, but I can't stay upset forever." You shrugged, the lump in your throat that hadn't gone away since Wonwoo cut you out of his life making a return. You reached up to squeeze one of her hands reassuringly, saying, "And besides, is it ever a party without me?" You joked lightly.

The Uber ride to the club was quiet; it was a thick feeling, and you could tell your friends were talking about you in another group chat. You knew good and well about this group chat, but how could you confront them without any evidence? Yejun would probably deny having told you anyway; as good of a person as she was, she was still a snake at times.

The club was loud, with music pumping from every corner, girls drunkenly singing along to some club remix of a Rihanna song, and the smell of sweat filling your senses. You made a beeline to the bar, ordering a few drinks to soothe the lump that hadn't left your throat since it returned.

It didn't take long until you were joining your friends on the dance floor, drink in hand, as you moved with no rhythm to a song you didn't know. You felt a figure press itself against your back, grinding up into you, causing you to jump just a bit.

Looking behind you, you saw a man who looked pretty good based on what the strobe lights would illuminate. His grip on his hand loosened when your head snapped back at him, and only when you turned to face him to continue dancing did his hands grip against your waist again.

Feeling the music, you wrapped your arms around his neck, effectively grinding up against each other so much that you were afraid your dress would ride up. It was a while before you took a drink from the clear cup of fruity liquid that was in your hand. The thirty minutes after you'd taken the last few sips of your drink seemed to be fine, until the feeling of being uneasy hit you like a ton of bricks.

The fear of throwing up on this poor man was more important than your head spinning and your vision blurring as you stumbled to the bathroom. You could hear footsteps behind you, but you couldn't tell whose footsteps they were until that same hand gripped your wrist with the same force it had used to hold onto your waist.

"Where are you going, princess? The fun's just starting," he whispered in your ear. He pulled you close to his body as yours began to go limp. You were too weak and too out of it to fight back; you were sure tonight would end in a way you hadn't planned for.

"Get away from her, you pig!" You heard someone say it, followed by the sounds of something being sprayed and the man screaming. The music was too loud for anyone to have noticed, and the only thing you could be certain of was that the cold feeling of the marble floor you'd slumped onto felt nice against your sweaty skin.

Just as you began to find comfort in the cold temperature of the marble floor beneath you and the darkness that began clouding the edges of your vision, you were hoisted up once more. With the little bit of strength you had left, you looked up to see Yejun carrying you to what you had assumed was the bathroom.

She was saying something to you, but your senses were too far gone for you to know what she was saying. By the time you two had made it to the bathroom, you were hardly holding yourself up, and your eyes felt like a thousand weighted blankets. You could feel yourself being propped against the wall and hear the sound of the sink starting. You tried your best to keep yourself aware of your surroundings—anything to prolong the darkness that threatened to envelope you at any second.

You could feel water on your face and a cup being pressed to your lips. You had the foresight to reject the liquid until it hit your tongue, and you could tell it was water.

⌦(Readers pov) You weren't sure how you got home that night, but you were thankful when you woke up in your own bed and not in some random alleyway. You looked around, expecting to still see the mess from the night before, but instead you were met with a clean room, closed curtains, a glass of water, and two painkillers on your nightstand.

There was a knock on your bedroom door as you sat up, taking the glass from the bedside table along with the medicine. You half expected to see your best friend on the other side of the door when it opened, but what you saw shocked you. Yejun was outside the door.

"You're up." She smiled softly, walking into your room with a bowl of what looked like ramen. The smell made your stomach turn, and you had to stop yourself from gagging before you were able to take the medicine.

"Yea, how…how long was I out?" You asked; your phone was on the nightstand, but it hadn't been put on the charger when you were put to bed. Yejun sat the bowl of food on your dresser as she made her way to the edge of your bed, sitting across from you.

"Awhile, it's almost 4," she said. It was silent in the room for a moment; you weren't sure what to say. "Do you remember what happened last night?"

"Not really, why?" You asked, furrowing your brows.

"Someone drugged you, but I got to you before anything happened. I tried to get ahold of your friend, the one that always takes you home after parties, but I couldn't get ahold of him." She said she was playing with the cracking nail polish on her fingers.

You looked down at the cup of water in your hands, a small smile creeping its way to your face. It was not a smile of happiness; quite the opposite, actually; it was one of disbelief.

"I'm not surprised; he said he didn't want to be around me anymore if I continued to…" you trailed off, trying to find the right word.

"Use him?" Yejun said.

"Yeah, essentially," you said. Your finger traced the rim of the glass as you thought. "I think I should get some help,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I was drugged last night, and I always get way too fucked up for you guys to have fun; I'm bound to get severely hurt one day," you said.

"That's really brave of you; I'll support your decision no matter what." Yejun said, resting her hand on your shin.

"That means I need to cut the girls out of my life," you said, and Yejun retracted her hand. You looked up at her, reaching over to grab her hand. "Not you; if it weren't for you finding me, I don't know what would have happened."

⌦(Wonwoo's pov) Wonwoo couldn't stop himself from looking at the ten missed calls he had from you from the night before; not being there to save you was taking a toll on him. He was worried something had happened, and he almost called you back until his phone displayed Hannah's face on his screen. Wonwoo and Hannah were going pretty steady, having been together for about 3 months at this point.

Wonwoo let out a sigh to expel any of the bad feelings he had been feeling before he answered the phone. He smiled as soon as Hannah's face popped up on his screen.

"Hey, Honey Bee- whats wrong?" Hannah said, noticing how his smile looked forced and his shoulders were more slouched than normal.

"Nothing, nothing; I'm just tired," he said, moving his free hand around as if to swat away any of the worry Hannah had.

"Are you sure? You look upset," she said, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," he replied, leaning back against the couch as he spoke.

"It's about that girl, isn't it?" She asked. Despite feeling some way about you, she didn't like seeing her boyfriend upset. Wonwoo only nodded, averting his gaze from the phone screen.

"Yeah… I have 10 missed calls from her," he said, chewing on the inside of his cheek. It was silent for a moment, which only made Wonwoo feel worse about bringing up another girl to his girlfriend.

"Do you think she's okay?" She asked. Though her questions were sincere, her voice gave away her irritation. It was clear that Hannah would never be comfortable with the relationship you two once shared, and understandably so.

"I hope so,"

"Do you want to meet up for dinner? I think we have some things to talk about," she said. Now it was her turn to look away from the camera.

"Why don't you just come here? I can make you dinner," Wonwoo suggested.

"Sounds good; I'll be there soon," she said before she hung up.

It didn't take long for Hannah to show up at Wonwoo's doorstep; the air between them was thick, and Wonwoo wasn't exactly sure why. He had a feeling that whatever Hannah needed to speak about, it was going to be bad, or else she wouldn't have asked to speak in person.

Wonwoo made a simple dinner: sundubu jjigae with kimchi. The two sat in silence as they both ate at the dinner table. Each time Hannah would pause her movements, Wonwoo would look up from his food as if to ask her if she was okay.

"Wanna talk about it?" Wonwoo finally asked, setting his spoon down next to his bowl and looking up at his girlfriend.

"I was gonna wait till we finished eating…" Hannah trailed off, following Wonwoo's motions as she placed her spoon down and looked up at him. "I've been thinking a lot about us; you're a great guy, Wonwoo, truly. Any girl would be lucky to have you, but…"

"But?" Wonwoo's heart didn't drop like he had expected it to; if he were being honest, it felt as though his relationship with Hannah was close to an end. He didn't expect this relationship to last.

"But I can't help but feel hurt when I notice that you're always checked out whenever we're together. You're always worrying about someone, and that someone isn't me. I don't want you to feel like I'm upset with you or hate you, but it's pretty obvious that we're lying to ourselves if we think this relationship is going to last," Hannah continued.

"I understand; I haven't been the best boyfriend. You deserve so much better, Hannah," Wonwoo said.

"You're not upset?"

"Well, I'm not exactly happy, but I can't change your mind, and you deserve someone better," Wonwoo said, looking at the wall behind Hannah.

The two finished their meal in silence before Hannah left. Wonwoo sighed as he washed the dishes. He had some crappy luck with relationships, it seemed.

⌦(Wonwoo's pov) It had been a little while since he had heard from you; granted, you had never gone longer than a month without needing him to clean up your messes. This new-found silence from being your knight in shining armor allowed him to begin streaming again. For awhile, he had stopped because your calls of need would come in at least 4-5 times a week.

To say he missed you would be an understatement; he would lie awake after a long night of streaming, waiting for his phone to ring so he could pick you up. After three weeks of no calls, he began to believe that you had fully forgotten about him, all because of a little spat that he could've handled better. He had plans to express how he felt about you, but the world had different plans that day. Maybe you two just weren't meant to be friends anymore.

Wonwoo had tried to take his mind off things; he would distract himself by playing video games until the sun went down. That night, like every other night, he stayed up to play online with a few friends.

"If I die one more time because you're not paying attention, I'm gonna strangle you," Vernon threatened through Wonwoo's headphones. To be honest, Wonwoo was a little distracted today; he kept glancing down at his phone, hoping for a call, a text, or something.

"Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind," Wonwoo replied, the sounds of his mouse clicking and keys clacking filling his room and his eyes beginning to grow tired from staring at such a bright screen for an extended period of time.

"Woo, you need to let her go. She's clearly not interested in your friendship and hasn't been for awhile," Minghao said. If Minghao were talking to anyone else, they surely would've been offended, appalled that he could say something so cold so calmly, but Wonwoo appreciated his honesty; he wouldn't want Minghao to be any other way.

"I agree with Hao; you should put yourself out there; stop waiting for someone who isn't hurting without you," Seungcheol chimed in, everyone having paused their game to give Wonwoo some free therapy while they sat in the Fortnite lobby.

"Are you guys suggesting a date?" Wonwoo asked, pushing his glasses up as he put his hands on his face, muffling his question just a bit.

"Well, I wasn't, but I know someone who'd be great for you," Seungcheol said. He could hear the shrug in his voice, playing matchmaker so nonchalantly. "I'll send you her info; she thinks you're cute anyway," he added. Within seconds, his words were emphasized by the sound of Wonwoo getting a text message. He glanced at the notification, half hoping it was from you and half hoping it wasn't.

It wasn't.

Wonwoo opened his phone, seeing that Seungcheol had sent her Instagram profile along with her phone number. He clicked on the link, leaning back in his chair as he scrolled through the professionally taken photos that filled the girl's profile.

"She is really cute," Wonwoo said, clicking on a few photos. There was a familiar face in a few of the photos, though they looked too much alike to be anything more than siblings.

"Seungcheol, is this Chan's sister?" Wonwoo asked, zooming in on one of the photos to get a better look at the girl's alleged brother.

"Bang Chan?" Seungcheol asked.

"Yea, Bang Chan,"

"Yea, why?"

"Just curious," Wonwoo said. He chewed on his bottom lip as he swiped back into his messaging app, looking down at the series of numbers Seungcheol had given him. "You said she thinks I'm cute?"

"Yeah, she talks about you all the time at work," Seungcheol said.

"Well, I'll text her when we get off. Wanna go for one more round?" Wonwoo asked, setting his phone down and getting ready to unpause the game.

"Sounds good," everyone said, continuing with their match.

One game turned into two.

Two games turned into four.

4 turned into 6.

By the time Wonwoo looked at the clock on the PC that displayed his Discord server, he was shocked.

3:26 a.m.

Wonwoo must have really had a lot on his mind; he never stayed up this late, not unless you had needed his help. He yawned, stretching his back when they were back to the games lobby, cracking his neck as it had grown stiff from sitting hunched over a keyboard for so long.

"I think I'm gonna get off guys, I'm getting tired," he said, not waiting for them to object before closing the game and turning his headphones, mic, and pc's off. Wonwoo grabbed his phone as he got up, walking to his closet to grab a pair of night pants and changing into them.

He unlocked his phone, looking at the number again as he began brushing his teeth. After a moment of hesitation, he finally added Hannah's contact information to his phone, messaging her as soon as he finished brushing his teeth.

⌦ Wonwoo: Hey, it's Wonwoo. I know this is super random, but Seungcheol gave me your number, if that's okay.

Wonwoo didn't expect an immediate answer; it was almost 4:00 in the morning. He looked at the unopened message as he left the bathroom, slipping his phone into his pocket and turning off the light. His phone dinged as soon as he walked into his room, and he only opened it once he had lied down in bed.

⌦ 3:55 a.m.

⌦ Hannah: Hey, Wonwoo! It's totally chill; why're you up so late? (Read 3:55 a.m.)

Wonwoo found himself smiling at her message and answering immediately.

⌦Wonwoo: I could ask you the same thing, lol. (Read: 3:57 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: But I was playing Fortnite with Cheol and a few other friends and lost track of time. (Read: 3:57 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: That sounds like a lot of fun. (Read: 4:00a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Why did Cheol give you my number anyway? (read: 4:00 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Uh, he's trying to play matchmaker. (Read: 4:00 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Right (Read: 4:01 a.m.) ⌦Hannah: Well, what are you doing tomorrow? (Read: 4:01 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Nothing as of right now. (Read: 4:02 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: Why are you trying to ask me out? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Yea. (Read: 4:02 a.m.)  ⌦Hannah: How's coffee sound tomorrow at noon? (Read: 4:02 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: You're straight to the point, aren't you? lol (Read: 4:03 a.m.)  ⌦Wonwoo: But, noon tomorrow sounds great! (Read: 4:03 a.m.)

⌦Hannah: Great, I'll send you the cafe's info tomorrow. I'm about to fall asleep (Read: 4:03 a.m.)

⌦Wonwoo: Awesome, sleep well (Delivered: 4:04 a.m.)

Wonwoo reread the small interaction he had with Bang Chan's sister, smiling softly as he put his phone on the charger. He turned off his light, took his glasses off, and went to bed.

⌦(Wonwoo's POV cont) Wonwoo was thankful for his habitual routine of waking up at 9:00 a.m. every morning, regardless of when he went to bed. He forgot to set an alarm, having fallen asleep as soon as he put his glasses on his nightstand. Waking up this early gave him a few hours to kill before he had to get around, creating a schedule in his head for how long it would take him to eat breakfast, take a shower, shave, get dressed, and drive to the cafe. He planned on being 15 minutes early; he was always early.

Hannah had already sent Wonwoo the address of the cafe; thankfully, it was only a fifteen-minute drive from his apartment complex with traffic. He ate a light breakfast of two pieces of toast and a glass of apple juice; he'd be damned if he were going to willingly drink orange juice. He rarely ate toast, but with few food ingredients in his fridge or cabinet, toast was his only option.

With thirty minutes to spare after getting ready, Wonwoo grabbed his keys, locking his door as he left to go to his car. Hannah was already at the cafe when he got there, sitting in her car as she waited. Wonwoo parked next to her, pulling out his phone to let her know he was there. When she looked up from her phone, he waved at her with a smile, stepping out of her car to greet her on the sidewalk.

"Hey! I'm so glad you could make it," Hannah smiled as she pulled the taller male into a hug. Wonwoo was stunned at first; she surely was a bold woman, which he seemed to like about her.

"Why wouldn't I?" He chuckled, hugging her back for a moment before they pulled away and walked into the cafe.

It was a small cafe owned by a sweet elderly couple from France. The cafe always had French music playing softly through the store speakers; normally, Wonwoo would have found it nice and cozy, but today it felt cheesy. The two sat down after having ordered their drinks, exposing the poor barista to a small argument over who was paying for their drinks. Hannah won.

"So, tell me about yourself." Hannah smiled, taking a sip from her cappuccino before moving it to the side of the table so she could place her elbows on it, letting her chest rest against her forearms.

"There's not much to know," Wonwoo chuckled, swirling his straw around in his Americano and watching the ice move around with it. "But I'm in college for mechanical engineering, I stream on Twitch sometimes, and I'm a big Marvel buff," he said after a moment.

"Mechanical engineering? So you're smart and cute, huh?" Hannah teased, smiling at the redness that grew on Wonwoo's cheeks from her compliment.

"Tell me about yourself," Wonwoo said, directing the conversation back to the original topic.

"Well, I'm in college for fashion design; I also really like Marvel; and I want to get into PC gaming," she said. Wonwoo looked up at her, stunned that Seungcheol had finally set him up with a girl who shared some of his same interests, and he was already friends with her brother.

Wonwoo was pulled out of his thoughts as his phone rang in his pocket. He looked down at his pants and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Your name and contact photo were displayed on his screen; seeing this made his smile drop slightly. He clicked the side button, silencing the call, before looking up at the girl he was on a date with. "Sorry about that; I thought I put my phone on silent," he said as he placed it back into his pocket.

"It's no problem; if it's important, you can step out and answer it; I won't be upset," Hannah said, gesturing to the window that the two were sitting by. Wonwoo shook his head.

"It wasn't, and besides, it'd be rude to answer a call on our first date," he said.

"And you're considerate? Well damn, I might ask you to marry me right here," she laughed. She stood up after a moment, and in that moment, Wonwoo half expected her to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. Instead, she grabbed her coffee with one hand and his hand with the other, pulling him up from his seat. "Wanna go on a walk?" She asked, swaying their hands back and forth.

"Are you gonna murder me?" Wonwoo asked, grabbing his coffee from the table.

"I might," she winked, sipping her cappuccino once more.

"At least you're honest," Wonwoo chuckled. His phone began to ring again once they left the building. He looked at it and canceled the phone call.

"Wonwoo, if you need to answer that, I don't mind," Hannah reassured as they began walking along the pathway.

"I don't, I promise." He said.

The walk was nice, and Wonwoo and Hannah seemed to be getting along a lot better than he would have ever imagined. It didn't take long for it to start raining. May's weather was never consistent, which seemed to be the only consistent thing in Wonwoo's life. Inconsistency. Wonwoo had given Hannah his sweater as they walked back to their cars; only when Hannah safely got into her car and pulled out of the parking lot did he leave.

He looked at his phone for a moment, seeing that he had five missed calls and ten messages from you, asking for your help. He almost answered the texts, apologizing that he was busy and couldn't get to his phone. Just as he was about to send his text, he sighed, thinking about what his friends had told him only 12 hours ago. Instead of sending the text, he closed his phone and drove home.

⌦(Reader's POV) You groaned angrily when your phone went to voicemail for the second time. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering? Was he still mad? Your head began spinning, even though you couldn't tell if it was because of your impaired state or because Wonwoo was finally giving you a taste of your own medicine. You had ghosted Wonwoo for the better half of your freshman year of college, having found new friends and devoting all of your weekends to partying, so when you finally got ahold of him, he was shocked.

"He works from home; where is he?" You said it angrily, your plethora of messages having been delivered but unread for the better part of two hours. That was what really set you off. He couldn't even give you the respect to apologize.

Against your better judgment, you snatched the keys from your kitchen counter and stumbled out of your apartment, having decided to confront him at his apartment. You've had a few years of practice when it came to driving under the influence, taking back roads, watching the road extra carefully, and driving cautiously, it was easy. Parking your car, you stormed up to his apartment, noting that his car wasn't in the parking lot when you had gotten there.

You called him again.

and again.

and again.

Until finally, you gave up on calling him and decided to send him a hundred more text messages.

⌦You: Wonwoo, I need your help... (Delivered: 11:00 a.m.)

⌦12:45 p.m.

⌦You: Wonwoo, why aren't you answering me??? (Delivered: 12:46 p.m.)

⌦12:57 p.m.

⌦You: Hello? Where are you??? (Delivered: 12:58 p.m.)

⌦1:05 p.m.

⌦You: I'm at your place (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.) ⌦You: Hello!!!!! (Delivered: 1:05 p.m.)

Just as you were about to call him again, you saw that all of your delivered messages had been read. You watched as the three dots by Wonwoo's name appeared.

Then disappeared.

Appeared again.

Until they disappeared for a final time.

Your texts to Wonwoo began to be sent one right after the other, sitting with your back against his front door as you drunkenly blew up his phone. Fifteen minutes had passed before you saw a pair of feet standing in front of you. You looked up and saw the man in question.

Angrily, you stood up shoving your phone in his face as you began to speak.

"I've been trying to get ahold of you for two hours now! Where were you?!" You yelled, and Wonwoo gently pushed your phone out of his face. He looked down, unlocking his front door before opening it to let you in. He waited for you to walk inside, quietly apologizing to his elderly neighbor before stepping inside himself.

"I got coffee," he said, setting his keys on the table by his front door and taking his shoes off.

"It took you two hours to get coffee." You asked in disbelief, crossing your arms as your blurred vision did its best to lock onto him.

"You didn't let me finish," he continued. He sat the now-empty to-go cup on his kitchen counter. "I was on a date."

Your heart dropped, and you weren't sure why either. He was only your friend, your shoulder to cry on, and your emergency contact because you knew he would bend over backwards for you.

"Oh," you said.

"Yea."

"You still could have answered after she left," you said. Your anger had softened just a little bit.

"Why? So I can pick your drunk ass up from some stranger's front lawn? It's 2:30, and you're already fucked up." He said, "Your jaw dropped. What was his deal? Why was he being like this?

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you being such a dick all of a sudden?" You asked.

"Because I'm tired of only seeing my best friend when she needs me to be her chauffeur because her other friends left her strung out on God knows what in some stranger's bathroom because she's too drunk to get home." He said. You could see that his words were hurting him just as much as they were hurting you; he wasn't making eye contact with you either. "I can't drop everything to come save you every time you need me; I have a life too," he said. This time his words were soft, almost upset that he'd finally told you how he really felt.

"Fine. I'll leave then." You said this, stepping toward the door only to have the pathway blocked off. "Wonwoo, get out of my way."

"No, I can't let you drive home like this," he said.

"Wonwoo. Get out of my way." You repeated. He didn't move.

"No," He said.

"Now you care about my safety?"

"I've always cared about your safety!"

"Evidently not; evidently it was a burden to you!"

"Do you know why I always dropped everything to come get you?" He snapped.

"To feel better about yourself?" You asked, your words laced with anger. Your eyes began brimming with tears, and your body began to shake. You need to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Because I love you, y/n!" Wonwoo snapped back. He stopped for a second, realizing what he had just said.

"What?" You asked, finally looking up at him.

"I love you.. and it kills me that you're killing yourself like this, but I can't be around you anymore if you're going to continue to hurt yourself. I will always love you, y/n; I hope you know that." He said this, grabbing his keys off the table once more. "Let's go; I'll take you home." You were sure this would be the last time you'd ever hear from him again.