It's been a long time since I've felt like I've known the person staring back at me in the mirror. I think there comes a time in nearly every mothers journey that they feel they've lost themselves. They don't know where the person who started the journey magically disappeared to or how to find them, or if they will at all. And the answer is, you might not.
I think about a million people have probably made the comparison of motherhood being the equivalent to the metamorphosis from catapillar to butterfly. You may be made up of the same DNA and cells technically, but you might come out of the cocoon with entirely new colors, or the same colors but an entirely different pattern. Even though it feels more like the stages from meal worm to Beatle, especially when I look at myself naked in the mirror. I'm not gonna lie, I'm still working on a few things.
Unfortunately for some of us it refers more to our character rather than our appearance and to be honest I really wish I came out of the cocoon adorned with beautiful symmetrical colors but the only thing I've come out with are saggy tits, dark stretch marks, and a stomach made of cottage cheese... but at least the women I am today has depth, sympathy, wisdom, and passion. It was hard to find. It was hard to see my life as more than a literal bag, but not one drifting through the wind wanting to start again. No. More like a milk bag, or punching bag, or a hand reaching into a bag of chicken nuggets to put into the air fryer because my 4 year old decided its the only food this month.
But I've finally come out of the cocoon, it only took 4 years, one incredibly happy 2nd baby, and a move accross country. I've finally regained passion I was craving, I've shedded the cocoon and I don't wanna see that ugly ass caterpillar or hear her name ever again. I've reclaimed myself, I've found adventure, hope, and joy in every day life. So yeah. I hope you come a long for the ride? Also if you know me... no you dont.. please.. I'll delete the whole page if someone I know finds this so just pretend you didnt.😂
