Metalocalypse Text Posts (19/?)

more NMH AU stuff lol this time with the two lowest ranking assassins, seth and skwisgaar.

seth has a bunch of henchmen who typically do a lot of the work for him while he lounges around his ridiculously large mansion all day, but that’s not to say he has zero fighting experience. he’s just not as good as the rest of them😭

"Oh but in flashbacks Pickles isn’t even wearing a shirt to go swimming and is clearly a boy the whole time” so I can’t speak to any other transmasc person’s experience but the first time I felt dysphoria was probably when I was playing as a kid with my shirt off and my mother forced me to put on a shirt when guests came over (.........which has a miriad of other issues thrown in there but I was like fucking 6-8?)

The only “girly” clothes I ever owned were things forced upon me but for Pickles having an older brother, it’s easy to steal his hand-me-downs. (......I also have an older brother who is an ex-con but the age gap is way bigger and therefore i couldn’t steal any of his clothes. also he was busy stealing cars and being kicked out of the house.)

Also now is the time I’m going to throw in this headcanon that nobody is going to like, 

pickles and seth are fraternal twins and that’s why there’s no clear answer to which one is older because every time one of them asked they were either told ‘you are’ or ‘go get a job’. the reason seth was so much taller in the flashback is because he consumed all of the nutrients in the womb and naturally pickles ended up shorter. In this essay I will--

Metalocalypse Text Posts (7/?)