#session04

Ali: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? STOP IT, STOP IT RIGHT NOW! 

ALSO

I hate all of you, I hate this show, I hate my feelings, I can’t even start trying to figure out why she is doing that, because I am trembling, god damm it, damm everything.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, HOMURA? 

Ali: Hi. Who.The.Hell.Are.You.And.Where.Did.You.Come.From.

And you better have some answers, because I am so done here. 

You look cute though, so I am inclined to trust you. 

Why are you so familiar? You kinda look like Madoka. I hope you weren’t the one who threw that fire extinguisher, because then I will have to go and throw a plate out the window. I already had enough problems with my mom after that whole flipping-the-table-for-Sayaka deal. 

YOU LOOK FAMILIAR! You have weird eyes. Are you a human even?

Wait. 

Ali: WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, THE FUCK! WHAT! ARE! YOU! DOING! THE FUCK!

I DIDN’T ASK TO SEE THIS TODAY! I DIDN’T! JUST! WHAT!???????????? IS?????????? HAPPENING! 

What... what are you doing... 

I sat 10 minutes in silence on this line of the post.

I feel empty.

I mean...

I don’t know what I mean.

Oh.

Oh, it’s not like she will die anyway, her Soul Gem is on her hand. 

Only realized that just now.

...

So... um... panic... cancelled...?

And I started crying just now. 

I don’t even know why, I started laughing and crying and I am such a mess. 

WHEN YOU PUT A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND THEN SHOT YOURSELF IN LIKE 1 SECOND LATER, YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO REMEMBER THAT IT WON’T KILL ACTUALLY.

I am actually crying. Like the second I realized it’s more or less okay, that was the moment all my feelings got let out. 

Well, good job, Homura, you probably just tricked Mami, freed yourself and won the fight. Great tactic. YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK. 

Ali: Long time ago Sayaka threw fire  extinguisher to stop you. Today she threw it to save you. The history made a full circle. 

Finally, at least at the end of the session, there is something I can be pleased about, as Sayaka throwing fire extinguishers at people shall be always a happy sign for me. 

Ali: Don’t you even dare. You don’t want to do this. You really don’t want to do this. You were just talking few minutes ago about all those hearts you are sad you broken. About all those things  you did, you regret. Don’t add another thing to the list. You are aiming at your friend. 

She never meant to hurt you, she was just defending somebody she loves. All you need to do is stop her. You don’t need to kill her. Just... shoot her in the leg, okay? 

Ali: Ok, wait, so... what? 

She is clearly remembering stuff, and she has no idea what witches are. But she knows wraiths. 

Another proof that this is happening past Madoka’s wish. Another proof that what Homura thinks cannot be right, because there is no way for any witch to exist, other than maybe Madoka’s Giant Bigger Than Earth witch. 

I feel inclined to keep sticking with my theory that indeed this is that witch doing this illusion somewhere in-between worlds and timelines, but that just sounds dumb, kinda. Does it though? I said in previous session that this is Madoka!Witch giving them a nice farewell while the world is rebooting, but that doesn’t really makes much sense either. 

I also think that my brain abilities are totally turned off, because I am still crying and I can’t get over what Homura did.

All I know is that something bigger is happening. 

Ali: Well, seems not, but still! There must be some brain-fuckery going on! She is way to calm and totally not-surprised that Homura didn’t die. But then hmmm... even if she doesn’t know about Soul Gems, she can still think that magical girls are very resiliant and - but then why was she so scared and worried when Homura was trying to...

NOTHING ADDS UP, NOTHING MAKES SENSE, AND I STILL FEEL SICK.