#session shenanigans

Ferenir in written roleplay: Calm, pragmatic, melancholic.

Ferenir in campaign, while gender swapped by a magic amulet: "What do you mean I'm not a real woman?? Just because I'm tall?? First of all, RUDE! Second of all..."

*flashes his tits and flips the other person off*

My players successfuly returned to working on their quest. After forgetting about it existed. Sweet.

Achlis still can't cook anything. She (again) got a 2 on making tea.

Achlis finaly managed to use wildshape. (Daniel deer)

Her fellow party members wanted to ride on her. Rieka and Adreanna proceeded to fall off her back.

Rieka used her amazing bard charisma, rolling a nat20 while adding a +7 modifier to it into persuation. 27!!!!

Achlis got nat1 on wildshape. Twice. She un-shifted everything in mile radius. Including lunch that Adreanna cooked.

Rieka rolled a nat20 on not falling asleep while being on guard.

"Not that just Rieka didn't fall asleep while on guard and stayed awake for rest of the night. She entered a whole new state of consciousness."

-me, the dungeon master

"Don't give me a middle finger, kid. It's rude."

-me, dungeon master, when Adreanna's younger brother gave me one

Sheduling - the real big bad villain of Dungeons and Dragons, the nightmare of Dungeon Masters and Game Masters all around the world, the monster that scares even the thougest players and breaks even the most unbreakable fellowships.

"You underestimate our ability to not move from the proximity of Neverwinter." - My players, probably

"You know how to defeat your big bad guy? Bathe him in Achlis' tea" - me, the dungeon master

"How's the tavern called?" - Rieka's player

"UHHHHHHHMMMMMM......Dancing Pony?" - me, the doomed dungeon master

Some things you need to know about this friend. They are whip smart and an excellent rules lawyer.

Earlier they had asked me if their gnome evocation wizard could manipulate the fireball spell from a necklace of fireballs like they could with their other elemental spells, so as to not hurt their allies. After being stumped, I consult Google and find that spells cast from a magic item are considered to be the same as spells cast from a person. So yes, they could do that.

Fast forward to later in the session, when the stealthing party is busted due to an adult black dragons unfairly high perception roll. There is much cursing. It busts through a stone door a la Kool Aid Man and attacks. First attack nearly takes out the party rogue, who fires back with a shortbow and gives the dragon an unwanted horn piercing. Then the vampire NPC (long story) deals another eight damage, but they’re still up shit creek at this point.

Now it’s my friend’s turn. They ask that since the dragon has to make a dexterity saving throw against fireball spells, would it roll with disadvantage if they were standing on it?

“What are you doing?” I ask, completely befuddled. I allow it because I am suitably confused.

Then they cast Misty Step and teleport ONTO THE DRAGON’S BACK. As a bonus action, they smash the necklace of fireballs onto the dragon. Dragon rolls with disadvantage, I roll a fucking NAT ONE. Even with it’s bonus, that’s still not enough to meet the DC.

The level of fireball spells on the necklace of fireballs goes up with each bead you throw. So that ended up being 63 d6 fire damage. 63 d6. I made them roll all the dice because I’m not the one that came up with this frankly batshit plan.

It ended up being 187 damage in total. With the prior damage from the rogue and vampire, that’s enough to kill the thing. They take only 5 fall damage, their insane lucky streak continuing.

Then I roll for loot, and guess what magic item pops up? A belt of Storm Giant Strength. Yes, Storm. So now the gnome wizard’s strength score is 29 and they’re stronger and smaller than everyone else in the party, including the Dragonborn. They also took a level in Barbarian, so any monster they meet next is going to crap their pants as a free action.

So my housemate that plays the character Romano bought a sketchpad and picked up drawing again after 8 years. (I think cause I’ve been encouraging him bit by bit since he’s been showing me old stuff he did in school.)

And he drew this after our session on 2/20/18 while we were talking about Harrowed and possible ways Gretchen could ‘bite’ it and become Harrowed. One of the ideas being dying in a fiery explosion. 

Then he let me go over it with my own tweaks and colors.