💀 WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL HIVE CITY LOWER SECTOR C ORGANIC FRESH MARKET, MUTHAF—KERS!
(A Completely Nonofficial, Highly Illegal, and Morally Indefensible Warhammer 40K Event.)
🚨 FRESH MEAT, HOT OFF THE BACK ALLEYS! GET IT WHILE IT'S STILL TWITCHING! 🚨
Attention, hungry heretics, morally bankrupt mercenaries, and desperate citizens of Lower Sector C!
It’s that time of year again—when sanitation codes take a backseat, the Arbites turn a blind eye (for a price), and our fine vendors bring you the freshest, juiciest, least-questionable meats from across the Underhive.
We’re talking real, organic, farm-to-table cuisine— Except, well… the farm is a battlefield, the table is covered in bloodstains, and "organic" just means it was breathing a few hours ago.
This isn’t some overpriced, high-society Terran charcuterie board. This isn’t your sanctioned ration-pack nutrient sludge. This is the raw, the real, the highly-illegal, and the barely-dead.
Welcome to Lower Sector C’s Premier Organic Fresh Market.
If it bleeds, we can butcher it. If it twitches, it’s probably extra tender. And if it fights back? That’s your problem now.
🔥 THIS YEAR’S FEATURED SELECTIONS – NOW WITH 25% LESS RAT HAIR!
🐀 GENESTEALER GROUND ROUND – The perfect mix of DNA corruption and illegal protein. Eat enough, and you might just start seeing through walls.
🍖 HIVE MUTANT PRIME CUTS – Don’t ask where it came from. Don’t ask why it glows. Just enjoy the extra arms growing out of your chest.
👀 DEEP-FRIED EYEBALL POPPERS – Now with extra crunch! (May contain residual memories.)
🦴 ADEPTUS MECHANICUS “BONELESS” WINGS – Tech-priests say “the flesh is weak” …so we turned them into wings. No refunds if you find metal bits.
💀 CORPSE-STARCH CLASSIC™ – All the essential nutrients, none of the identity. Don’t think about it. Just chew.
🔪 FRESH “VOLUNTEER” SAUSAGE LINKS – Only the finest free-range, non-consenting, and questionably sourced meats! Just don’t ask about the casing.
🔥 SERVITOR STEAKS – Tenderized by years of brutal labor and complete loss of free will. Delicious with a side of Mechanicus Tears™.
🍔 THE “UNIDENTIFIED” BURGER – Listen, buddy, do you want to eat, or do you want a fucking backstory?
💀 PREMIUM BLACK MARKET DELICACIES (FOR WHEN YOU’VE ALREADY SOLD YOUR SOUL)
For our most discerning clientele, we offer an exclusive VIP menu that only the most morally depraved (or desperate) dare to try:
🔹 Bargain Bin Clones! – The meat grows back! Perfect for second helpings… or third. Or fourth. Or fifth. (Warning: Some customers may experience an existential crisis.)
🔹 Eldar Tartare! – They think they’re too good to die? Prove them wrong. Served with a delicate side of shattered pride.
🔹 Kroot Mystery Meat! – Kroot eat us, we eat Kroot. Circle of life, bitches.
🔹 Ork Chops! – Extra green, extra mean, and may try to regenerate on your plate.
🔹 Tau-Tofu Hybrid Steaks! – No, they don’t taste better. But they sure as hell beg harder before you carve them up.
🔹 Servo-Skull Soup! – Brain freeze? No, that’s just its last recorded thoughts bleeding into your psyche.
🔹 Dark Eldar Pain Jerky! – Marinated in the screams of its former owner for extra flavor.
📌 RULES OF THE MARKET – FOLLOW THEM OR BECOME INVENTORY
1️⃣ No Refunds. If it screams when you cut it, that’s between you and your conscience. 2️⃣ No Questions. If you gotta ask, you already don’t wanna know. 3️⃣ No Witnesses. If you see something you weren’t supposed to? You didn’t. 4️⃣ No Crying. Unless it’s to add extra salt to the broth. 5️⃣ No Snitching. You leave with food, not information.
🚨 And for the love of the Emperor, if you hear something rattling inside your meat bag… cook it well done. 🚨
💀 FINAL WARNING: GET IT BEFORE IT GETS YOU.
The Upper Hive Lords are feasting on golden platters while you’re down here licking the grease off a corpse-ration wrapper. Wake the fuck up!
This isn’t a dinner party. This isn’t a charity. This isn’t a negotiation.
This is the Hive City Lower Sector C Organic Fresh Market, motherfucker.
You eat what you can, when you can, however the fuck you can.
Because if you’re not chewing? You’re on the menu next.
🔥 LAST CALL BEFORE THE ENFORCERS SHOW UP!
🔪 Buy 2 Servitor Steaks, get a free side of last week’s mystery gravy! 🐀 Rats are half-price (but full of regret)! 💀 Find a toe in your soup? That’s a sign of luck! Probably.
💀 REBLOG if you’d take a bite. 🚀 FOLLOW if you know exactly how bad this place smells. 🔥 LIKE if you’ve got the stomach for Lower Sector C. 💬 COMMENT your order, but don’t expect a name for what you’re eating.
