#serves 4

The first Surf and Turf recipe on this blog! Also I’m still alive!

Difficulty: Medium in the sense that it’s more steps then your average stir fry, Serves 3-4, 30 minutes

Ingredients:

1/2 an onion

A small head of broccoli

1 large carrot

1 large bell pepper

3/4 lb beef

3/4 lb shrimp, deveined

salt and pepper to taste

2 cloves garlic

2 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp oyster sauce

2 tsp sesame oil

1 tsp fish sauce

Sriracha to taste

2 tbsp vegetable oil

Chop up your broccoli and par boil it. It should be bite sized pieces

Slice up your bell pepper, carrot, and onion.

So I was super lazy and didn’t take the shells off my shrimp. Don’t be like me. Take the shells off your shrimp. Anyway, toss them with salt and pepper.

Slice your beef into 1 inch cubes.

Now we’re gonna prep the sauce before it all goes crazy. Mix all the liquids into a bowl, and then grate your garlic in the bowl. Give it as good of a mix as you can.

Heat up your pan. Put the oil in, and when the oil shimmers, throw in your shrimp.

Once they are cooked, remove them from the pan and set aside.

We’re gonna do the same for the beef, although you don’t need oil for it. Just throw the beef in the pan and let them sear and brown.

Remove them from the pan, but don’t pour out the fat. We’re gonna use that to cook the onions.

Once those are tender, toss in the rest of the vegetables.

Once those are tender, toss the meat and the shrimp back in and give it a toss.

Now, pour the sauce mixture in, and give it a toss.

Let it cook for a minute or so. Serve over rice.

Per request! (Did you know the fastest way to get me to cook something is via request? You should request something!)

Difficulty: Easy, 1-1.5 hours, I HOPE Y’ALL LIKE LEFTOVERS

Ingredients:

2 chicken breasts (I made three because I’m making this shit up as I go, so I had way too much chicken)

paprika

italian seasoning

1 onion

1 tbsp flour

2 tbsp butter

1 can corn

1 cup milk

1 cup cream

1 can chicken broth. I think that’s just under 2 cups, if my memory serves me

1/4 tsp thyme

a few strips of bacon. This is optional if you don’t consume red meat or pork

2 cloves garlic

5 potatoes that are not russet. Probably like, 2 if they were russet? Also cut into pieces

Leftover shredded chicken is best for this recipe, so skip these steps if you already have that. If you didn’t like myself, preheat your oven to 400F.

Cover the chicken in olive oil and enough Italian seasoning and paprika to just coat the top.

Bake for 25 minutes.

Take a fork, pretend you’re Wolverine, and shred. Set aside. If it cools down, that’s fine. We’ll be reheating it.

Chop that onion and sautee in the butter.

Throw in the thyme and pressed garlic once the onion is just translucent. Throw in the flour and toast for about 30 seconds.

Add the potatoes and broth, and bring to a boil.

Guess who forgot to take a picture of the pot with the broth and the potatoes. Let simmer until the potatoes are just cooked.

Add the corn, chicken, milk, and cream.

Bring to a boil

Fry up that bacon and chop into bits

Throw the bacon in the soup. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

I’ve been making a lot of risottos recently, haven’t I?

Difficulty: hard but if you’ve been playing along at home, it should be getting easier, Serves 4, 40 minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup sliced crimeni mushrooms

1 cup dried mushrooms

1 1/2 cups short grain rice

2.5 cups chicken broth

2 cups water

1 cup white wine

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 onion, finely chopped

salt and pepper

1/2 cup parmesean to taste

1 tsp olive oil

3 tbsp butter in large pot

4 tbsp parsley

Combine the water and the broth, and bring to a simmer. Keep it at a simmer.

Heat up the oil in a pan, and sautee the garlic and mushrooms together.

Add 1/2 cup of the broth mixture to the pan, and let it gently simmer for a minute or two.

Melt the butter in large pot and sautee the onion.

Throw in the rice to let it toast for a minute.

Add the wine, salt, and pepper to the rice.

I’ve gone over this before, but basically, you want to add small amounts of the broth, while constantly stirring to let the rice absorb the liquid. You never want to let it get too wet or too dry.

Here is an image of the constancy to try and aim for, if that helps.

Also, just to let ya’ll know, this is really intense. Here is my kitchen set up so you can see how many pots I have, since I made something else as well for dinner. It’s possible, but just remember to stay calm and keep cookin’.

Add the mushrooms, parsley, and cheese once you’ve added all the broth and it’s all absorbed.

I’m addicted to risotto despite sweating like a pig while making it.

Difficulty: boarder line balls to the walls, 1 hour, serves 4

Ingredients:

1 medium onion

1 1/2 cups of short grain rice

4 cups chicken broth

1 tbsp butter

1 cup white wine

1 small head of broccoli

1 carrot

1 cup frozen peas

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

salt and pepper to taste

Chop up your broccoli and carrots. Par boil them.

Basically, throw some water in a pot, throw in your broccoli and carrots, and boil until just cooked. I personally put the vegetables in cold water but I have no idea if that’s right. Next, chop up your onion pretty fine.

Take your chicken broth and put it in a pot. You want to bring it to just simmering.

Melt your butter in a bigger pot, and then sautée your onions.

At this point your broccoli an carrots should be kinda done. Drain those. Now, pour in your rice and letting the rice toast for no more than a minute. We’re getting into the technique of making risotto, which I detailed in my Salmon Risotto recipe. It also has info on the rice used. Check out that.

Pour in your wine and let it soak up.

Okay here is the tricky part. You take the hot broth and add it ladle by ladle. Between each ladle, you stir the rice, letting it soak up and become creamy. This takes time and is the hardest part of risotto. You can’t really leave the stove at all. So put on a podcast and get crackin’.

Add salt and pepper about halfway through.

Okay! Almost there. Pour in your frozen peas and vegetables and mix.

Add your parmesan and mix.

Attempt to serve with a selection of french bread and meats and cheeses and end up  S U F F E R I N G.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NONSENSE BREAD

Pull up in the monster automobile gangster

Difficulty: Easy, 1 hour, Serves 4

Ingredients:

1 1/2 to 2lb purple potatoes and a purple sweet potato

3 medium leeks

2 tbsp butter

1 medium onion

4 cups chicken broth

1/2 tbsp dried thyme

1/2 cup milk

So first is to prep the leeks. Slice the leaves open and separate them. Rinse them off and then thinly slice only the white and light green parts.

Rinse, peel, and slice your potatoes.

I recommend using a cutting board that doesn’t stain.

Slice your onion. I put the onion in the same bowl ask the leeks.

Melt your butter in a large pot, and sautee the onions and leeks.

Add the thyme when the onions and leeks are about halfway done.

Add the chicken broth and the potatoes.

Cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Then, turn the heat down to low and either get a blender or an immersion blender. I have an immersion blender, so just stick it in go to town. If you have a regular blender, you’ll have to do this in batches.

Add the milk and mix.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

FOOD ON A STICK FOOD ON A STICK FOOD ON A STICK FOOD ON A STI

Difficulty: Easy, 1 hour, serves 4

Ingredients:

1/2 tsp thyme

1/2 tsp oregeno

1/2 tsp basil

1/3 cup olive oil

1/2 pound (ish? I’m bad at guessing this) of pork

1/2 of an onion

1 cup button mushrooms

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

4 cloves garlic, grated

Salt to taste

Pepper to taste

Cut up the pork into 1 inch cubes, the onion into fourths, and cut the larger mushrooms in half.

Take all the other ingredients, and mix in the bowl with the meat and onion and mushrooms. Let sit for 30 minutes.

Take your skewers (I used metal this time) and put them on a foil lined sheet tray. Put them under the broiler on high for 6-8 minutes on each side.