#seriousturn

I've been thinking and that sometimes isn't good. But I've realized something. In line with my previous blog about the person I've come to show a big amount of resentment, I realized that I don't hate them after all. I mean if I did, I would have already cut them out of my life. But you see, no matter how hard I try even if I wanted to, I just can't seem to. It's not because I'm weak or afraid to lose them even though it already looks like I already have, but it's because I don't have it in me to be a bad friend. I just don't. I mean, even after all this I still have it in me to support them in their current endeavors. And that's not me being plastic and fake. No. I'm actually being genuine about it. I even stayed up all night just to find out about a certain friend's situation in a national competition one time. So you see, it's not hate that fueled my anger towards this person. I guess I was just resentful towards them. That still doesn't change the way I feel about them though. Like I said, I may resent the person but that doesn't mean I can't continue to be a good friend without asking anything in return. I guess I should just move on and just carry on supporting. This time though I'm not going to expect anything from them anymore.

What made me realize all of this was this post I read off a friend's Facebook page. It said the following:

"The happiest part of being a friend is when you see them happy and successful with other people and the saddest part is when they already forgot the things that you have done for them. But a true friend is someone who stayed and who is willing to still accept them no matter how painful it was for him/her to be forgotten. A friend, "even not in need", is a friend indeed."

S.G.

That indeed, is true. I've always been happy with any of my friend's success and accomplishments. And about them forgetting the things you do for them is also true. But I love the next line though. I know I'm not their only supporter but I would like think that I matter, that's why I still support them. I just don't have it in me to be a bad friend and just leave them hanging. And I've been complaining about how bad of a friend this person's been. How would I be any better if I did the same thing to them? How would I be any better if I did what they did to me? Pretty much as bad as them. I've tried countless times to forget about them so that it would just be easy for me. I promised myself to be a true friend to everyone and I'm not about to stop right about now.

I don't care if I don't get anything in return this time. Because this time I know I won't expect anything from them. I won't expect anymore, from them at least. But one thing's for sure, that they can rest assured that I'm gonna be there no matter what. Cause if I continue on the path I am at right now, I might end up having someone who's in my situation who hates me because I did the same thing to the person I'm having my current situation with now. It just might as well bite me in the behind right? But no. I won't let that happen. I won't let hate, bitterness and disappointment get in the way of how I treat other people. Especially those who really deserve my time and energy.