#seriesqueenof

Small guide to perform well during the studies. Part 2 specifically is about preparing for a great return to school after vacations!

1- What I specifically like to do is to clean and declutter severely my living areas, my desk, my kitchen, my paperwork, and so on. Typically I take the last week of my summer vacations to stay at home to do that. To ease myself into a non-vacation mood. We're returning to normalcy, routine, good habits, and so on. Decluttering helps a lot with making the spaces more easy to use, and if it's decluttered, it's SO easy to do stuff then quickly tidy it up and move one. I also do a data declutter, deleting off pictures off my cellphone I have no need for, uninstalling useless apps, changing the wallpaper and theme, installing my usual productivity apps (timer, Forest app, my college's apps, etc). The goal here is make everything streamlined to make you focused and make your study life easier.

If you want to decorate your space, it is NOW the time to do the major work. I mean new paint, change the floors, the dirty tiring works.

I also often clean up my binders off useless papers (and keep the important ones), and reusing the binders for my new semester. Also customizing your material is so fun and makes one more excited to be productive too!

2- If you wanna try new methods of study, it is RIGHT NOW at the very beginning. The stakes are pretty low, there's no heavy consequences yet if those new methods fail. If it doesn't works, no worries. Step right back to your usual methods that have proved themselves. Never EVER try new study methods before a major exam, or towards the end of the semester. If you do that, you're incorporating new elements of instability at a time your life MUST be the most stable possible.

3- Make yourself some general rules that are EXTREMELY easy to follow along. No loopholes, it is CLEAR and SIMPLE. I personally have two basic rules for my daily study life:

A) The teacher is going to give you a estimate of the study time required at the first class (or in the syllabus). This is NOT for nothing, they know it is necessary and wish you to succeed, and they're giving you all the tools for it. If you have particular difficulty with one class, add half the required study time to your schedule. If you're in deep shit, double that time. I draw boxes for every hour of study required per class in my schedule, and it is extremely motivating to fill them up and finish the week with everything done and finished!

B) If I want a B, I ramp up my study two weeks before my exam. If I want an A, I ramp up my study three weeks before the exam. Clear and simple. That's it. I am not talking about studying for hours and hours and hours for weeks... NO, you have a LIFE! Each day of those 2-3 weeks, I do read my notes, the books, do excercises/practice exams for 30-60 minutes TOPS per class. The key here is to make your brain understand that the information you're absorbing is IMPORTANT and make it retain it, and make it seek new correlations between different informations. It forces your brain to make more connections between the informations. You CAN'T force this process, it takes weeks of repetition to know perfectly the class.

4- DO NOT neglect the other aspects of your life! Say a quick hi & good morning to your dear loved ones if you can't talk to them much, or send them a postcard/meme. Go to your club sometimes if you're really busy (which is better than nothing at all) to say hi and exchange news. Do not neglect your mental health and your self-developement, a little mental health work (journaling by example) is better than nothing at all. What I mean by all that is that the joke "studies, social, sleep, choose only two" shouldn't be taken to heart. You CAN have it all, it's a matter of balance and establishing personal limits. If you lack time to do one of the three, severely reexamine your lifestyle. Are you spending 2 hours on your cellphone? Delete the time sink (I know this app isn't really necessary if it makes you sink so much of your time like that), and reallocate 1h30 of that time into sleep or social stuff. Do NOT give me excuses. If it matters to you, you CAN make time for it. And studies, sleep and social SHOULD matter for you, and that's up to you to make the choice between long lasting impactful habits, and useless habits.

Choosing your own perfume

This is obviously a highly private choice, so I would recommend to try and try and try perfumes at the shop. Try them, go every week at the perfume shop to try two perfumes, one on each wirst. Keep on trying until you find a perfume that makes you never want to find another one. It just clicks, you just KNOW it it's the right one.

Smell the test perfumes 5 min after spray, 15 minutes, 1 hours then 4 hours.

Do NOT wear any other perfume if you test new ones, as it may layer and give you the wrong impression

Some perfumes might smell AMAZING on the paper tester, but smell awful on you. That's very much possible, perfume's aroma is highly dependent on the body chemistry

Some perfumes fit better a season sadly, so be prepared to the possibility your perfume might fit you a few months out the year.

Once you've chosen your perfume, the price might be highly expensive but keep in mind you're creating your signature brand. The brain has a strong association to smells and one will remember you dearly if they smell your perfume again. Again, you use so little at a time.

Do not diss the cheaper perfumes! Again, with body chemistry, it influences how the perfume will smell on you and a okayish perfume on the paper might smell SUBLIME on you. My own perfume cost 40$ but it smells incredible on me and I always get compliments on it.

The trend those times is single smell perfumes, those that only have one aroma in it. Personnally I find those really curious but they're not my favourite but I still encourage you to try them out. Your body might make those perfumes exquisite.

ASK for samplers!! The shop ladies probably have a million of samplers. Went to a shop, they had 3 drawers FULL of samplers. A treasure for experiment!

If a perfume gives you headarche or nausea or plainly you dislike it, it's not a good one. Shalimar smelt AMAZING on the paper sampler but on me it smelt like cigarettes so much I had to wash it off.

To find similar perfumes to one you did like, check out the .. It gives the notes, the perfume family, reviews etc...

Wearing perfume

Go at tiny amounts at a time. Always. You don't want to be THAT person that smells so much perfume it stinks. Add on more if needed. It is hard to remove but easy to add.

Always ALWAYS use soaps, shampoos and creams that are very low smell, have a similar perfume family as your perfume (let's say I wear a summery coconut-ish monoi perfume, I wouldn't be buying stuff that has fresh laundry smell, per example.). Personally I don't want to do any faux pas, and I go for smell-free hygiene stuff so my perfume isn't challenged or wronged.

DO NOT SPRAY ON CLOTHES. Always on skin. Some perfumes stay permanently on fabric so it's important to be careful.

Exfoliate your skin, make sure your basic body hygiene is up to point. Scrub out the armpits then add Deo almost asap after the shower. Scrub your feets, intimates, rinse it thoroughly. Pat dry your skin. You want a nice foundation for a perfume masterpiece.

If you're about to have sex, spray a minuscule amount at the areas he might put his nose on. Lower belly, nape of neck, etc. Do not put ANY where he might lick. Some perfumes taste AWFUL.

Spread some Vaseline on the areas you're about to spray, so it lasts all day.

DO NOT DO THE PERFUME CLOUD N'WALK, it wastes a stupid amount of perfume. Instead just spray on the wirsts then dab on the neck. That way, less waste and the perfume won't dissipate so fast.

Body mists go away SO fast so you have to reapply a few times a day. Perfumes only once a day. Some are so strong it still persists for two or three days on skin.

Do not hesitate to ask feedback from family, friends and partners. They're your best allies for choosing the right perfume.

Men's favourite scents are vanilla, fruity/sugary scents, lily of the valley. But again, if you LOVE one perfume and most ppl say it's amazing and it doesn't contains those scents, don't dismiss just because of that.

A small guide to adopt that study queen mindset

Ditch all social media you can. No Instagram account to scroll up endlessly, not checking the Facebook feed, no mindless scrolling, etc. If you use a social media, curate what you read. Declutter the time wasters. Only keep the accounts that genuinely bring you good. Uninstall games and useless apps. You'll use them when you're on vacation. Now it's study time, from the beginning of the semester TO THE END. "But I use them to uncompress!!" Bullshit you can do something more productive like workouts or cleaning your room. It's not an essential need.

For food, focus on meal prep, get 4 Tupperware (or mason pots if you have) and prepare 4-6 meals (2-3 dinners, 2-3 suppers) that contain veggies, proteins, carbs, good stuff that feeds your body and brain. The breakfast is optional, I use my breakfast prepping routine to relax and ground myself before attacking my day. Doing 4 meals at a time is easy and not quite as daunting compared to the traditional 1-week meal prep, and it will stay fresh. You have more time to focus on what matters, you don't waste decision energy on meals and you're less likely to eat junk food.

Impose yourself a "no junkfood" rule in your room or house. You're less likely to spill and eat brain rotting stuff. If you receive sweets as a gift, stick them at the back of the freezer, and only take out ONE at a time. Drink plenty of water. More than you think you need. The body will declutter the excess for you. But never too little water. Prepare some precut veggies and have a stock of your favourite fruit on hand.

Get your sleep together. It helps with memorization and with sufficient sleep, nutrition and water, your brain can heal up and start memorizing efficiently the information you learn. Never neglect sleep. Never do late study sessions, instead planify better your study times.

Cut off people that bring you down. People that always bring you to parties and guilt trip if you don't wanna. They don't care that much about you. Cut off those that aren't serious in their studies, they don't realize the importance of studies and it's lifetime impact. If you can't cut them dry (block and move on), ghost them, don't reply their questions with a question back, be bland to them. A Queen only wants the best around her, and is ruthless in her judgement.

Once you start the semester, study every day, even if you have nothing to do that day (especially at the beginning of the semester). You can even get ahead in your studies and use the class as a refresher for what you did study. You'll feel more comfortable and have some questions prepared too! Figuring things out while it is being taught can be quite stressful. For laboratories, do several weekly hours of self-study, repeating the methods you learned. Use your teachers free hours anytime you have additional questions or need additional explanations, not only right before an exam. Take your time and speed up once you're comfortable. Learn to fail when it doesn't matters so you won't fail when it will matter.

Re-read your notes twice or thrice or four times, annotate them, summarize every paragraph. Write a "fake cheatsheet" that summarizes every step of the semester. Draw some conceptual schemes, make links between concepts. Do all the excercises, and redo the hardest ones before the exam. Do the pratice exams, check the past years exams if they're available. They'll give you an idea of your teacher's exam style.

Studying bit by bit instead of a big rush at the end will help you immensely assimilate correctly the information (less stress = better memorization, and repeated study = the memory is more precise and you have less memory losses).

Doing a cardio workout everyday increases your brain power. It can be a 30 min energetic walk outside, it can be a intensive cardio workout, it can be a 1 hour yoga session. Pair that with a good stretch routine (that back needs stretches sfter that long study session!) and a muscle workout too to tone up your muscles and keep you looking sharp. Excercise helps you relieve your stress, and feel more grounded, and feel more confident. More confidence also means there's less stress, better focus, and better social interactions. Make it a fundamental tool in your study artillery.

Combine several activities at the same time, you can watch movies while you workout instead of sleeping too late. You can study your biology while doing your cardio workout. Listen to audiobooks relevant to your domain while walking outside. Do your mask while you're doing your yoga routine. No wasted time, and no excuses.

This ain't gonna be a guide how to be skinny or lose 20 pounds. Y'all see that everywhere and ya know what to do. Calories in, calories out. Nah. Instead, I'll show you HOW to GLOW UP from eating FOOD.

I generally follow three principles:

1. Never eat foods that make you feel...

Queasy, heavy stomach, stomach reflux, lethargic, sleepy, any negative reaction/feeling. I strongly recommend to note down every meal (takes about 1 min per day, can be done on cellphone in your notepad app!), It will prove itself to be very useful to see if you have sickness triggers. Like sugar obviously triggers my own acne, potatoes make me nauseous (no matter how fresh they are). Meat in the morning makes me lethargic the whole day. Etc. And I only found that way by journaling my meals, and now applying my restrictions makes me feel insanely BETTER. Else I'd have blamed that on the woes of Destiny.

Once you've found your trigger foods, keep them away from your home. If your trigger is sugar, don't buy at the grocery store cookies or anything sugary. No see? No crave! That way you won't be tempted to eat it!

Also, very important, EAT A NUTRITIOUS MEAL BEFORE GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE! You won't concede to cravings that way. I'm really serious, I noticed a difference.

2. Prioritize colorful and light foods over heavy brown food, and low-processed over high-processed

Have you eaten an Big Mac & fries, then feel like crap and groggy, then feel hungry just 2-3 hours later? Those meals aren't filling, pumped with Only God Knows, and drenched in suffocating amounts of fat. It's brown, it's sad, it's not good for our bodies and We Know That. Then why are you going back again to McDo? Are you some weird type of maso?

Brown food is related to comfort food, and that's totally understandable. It's strongly associated to cozy feelings, the meals you get if you're sick, it's comfortable... But they lack nutrition 99% of the time.

I'm not asking you to cut off completely "brown foods", but instead, give a higher percentage of your plate to vegetables and fruits and low-processed stuff. If you aren't used to that new lifestyle, introduce slowly easy to use options. Fresh spinach are amazing in sauteed stuff or in pasta sauces. Carrot sticks are one of the easiest snacks to have. Have a counter basket with apples, oranges and bananas, so easy to catch something and fill a tiny hunger!

Buy that artisan small loaf (that you will eat one slice at a time, how it is filling and delicious) instead of that square cake-like magic bread (bland as hell, you don't even feel full after one slice of sadness), buy the whole chicken breasts and prepare them yourself with delicious spices and flavors instead of buying that pack of frozen chicken tendies.

Take some time to enjoy your time cooking, instead of considering it like a chore.

Instead of eating to fill your stomach, eat to enjoy high quality food that'll nourish every cell of your being and honor your Goddess body you have.

Life's too short for sad, brown, color-bland food, unrecognizable food.

3. Eat to fill your stomach to 80% capacity

This wonderful Japanese principle is called Hara hachi bun me ("belly 80% full"). You eat until you feel like there's still 20% space left in the stomach.

It means that you eat to enjoy life and good food. You're not afraid that you won't have food in the future. That means you store away the excess food in a plate. That means you DON'T have to empty the plate. That means you shouldn't feel nauseous from eating too much, or wanting to sleep because of food comatose. Seriously, when we think about the massive holiday/party binges, it's not hedonism, but gluttony. You often feel like crap which is not a good feeling to have.

You turn off the TV, the cellphone, everything that distracts you, you prepare yourself a nice meal. Matiscating slowly to enjoy the goddamn amazing food you did prepare also helps making you feel fuller, and liberate the good stuff in your food too. You take your time to eat it, enjoy the sensations you feel. It smells good, it tastes good, it makes your mind happy, it's like a buccal orgasm. It's just perfect. A meal fit for a queen.

In summary, I recommend to romanticize your life, down to every last minute detail.

Romanticize how you cut your tomatoes, taking your time to enjoy the popping splash of color under your eyes, and to enjoy the juicy goodness in them.

Romanticize how you drink your water, adding some cute refreshing mint and sliced strawberries to add some tinge of flavor to your water.

Guide on how to breakup, survive them, and thrive.

Why to dump:

You're unhappy

You don't feel listened to

You're disrespected

He's not up to your standards

He's abusive, harassing, excessively jealous, controlling

You feel ashamed of him

He let himself go, he's not attractive anymore (this one is highly subjective... But if you feel disgusted, it's time)

Or... he simply doesn't spark joy and you don't know why exactly. Just feeling like you need to break up is enough. No need to give a solid hard reason, after all were dealing with emotions.

If he has cheated, lied (in major ways, not silly white lies or positive surprise lies) or manipulated to you. Those things are zero tolerance. If you tolerate it once, he knows what to do, and what NOT to do and you're becoming his puppet. Gaslight too.

Before breaking up:

Write the shit list. A shit list is a list of his failures, disrespects, weaknesses, major and minor mistakes, etc. List every single one. Store it away, make copies.

Rekindle friendships, deepen your links with family, close friends, mutual friends etc. Take your time with that because it will prove itself to be really useful in the future. Do NOT dump your relationship woes at them. Discuss of whatever passes by your mind, arrange girlfriend dates with your closest friends etc. Once you're single they're gonna be your support network.

List off the links you have with him, and cut off the ones that are less frequently used. If he asks why, pretend it is a mistake or you're cleaning up on your stuff to make things simpler for you tehee. Pretend nothing is wrong. The remaining links will be cut off once it's breakup time.

Prepare the breakup text/communication. Short, simple, direct, confident and classy. No 'I feel like...' or 'i think I should...' or other indecisive wording. That's open territory for negociation and YOU DONT WANT NEGOCIATION FOR A BEAKUP. ITS FINAL. A good (short) example would be "I know that we are not compatible, therefore I want to breakup. I'm wishing you the best in life, and have a nice day"

If you're married, find a PRO-WOMAN lawyer that wants the MOST for you, not a Pickme lawyer. Divorces are not times to make generous concessions because you're kind. Ask close personal friends about lawyers, surely one knows about a lawyer that helped immensely her friend or whatever. Prepare the documentation, the papers, discuss of the divorce process with your lawyer with pre-prepared questions. DO NO LET HIM KNOW WHATS GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES. Pretend everything is fine, do not bring up disappointments, etc.

If you're living with him, make sure you got a sufficient financial cushion he's unaware of, a new home lined up next, you got all your important papers (birth certificate, passport, etc) in a safe area at a friend's, family's, etc or in your safe possession. DO NOT LET HIM KNOW OF WHATS GOING ON, until you're finally breaking up.

Where to dump:

NEVER at your home. Or his home. Too dangerous. Trust me on this one.

Try to meet up in a public place so that his tantrums won't guilt-trip you into submission. Less dangerous and there's witnesses and videocam if things go wrong. Try to find a more discreet restaurant or cafe, not fucking Starbucks or MacDonald's.

If he tends to be highly manipulative/abusive, it's better to breakup via call or even better text. Screenshot/record the call/texts in case if you're in a one-party recording law area.

Once you're ready, make yourself comfortable and confident. Make sure your area is free of distractions, tools, etc.

The day of the dumping:

Pretend to go to work, take a day off work, get dressed/hyped up to make yourself confident. Go to the decided place, or a cafe if you're doing it via text..

Warn a very close friend/family member of what you're gonna do. Keep contact with this person over the next few days to make sure you're safe. Also, establishing a "I'm in deep shit" code is another great idea. Like calling them by their full name instead of their usual nickname to signal you're in deep shit.

Go to the decided place, invite him there, if he's not coming you're gonna dump via text sis.

Dump him with the pre-written message. Nothing more, nothing less. Say your goodbyes... Then BLOCK.

Proceed to block him on every single link you have with him. Change your username if possible.

After the breakup:

The remaining evening, take some time to dedicate some self-care to yourself. A nice healthy filling meal, ONE cup of high quality wine, some exquisite sorbet or ice cream, a movie, clean soft blankets, make it perfect for a queen.

It's possible that you'll cry, you're crying the image you had of the relationship and the intimancy but you're choosing better for yourself. Let yourself cry and ask yourself sincerely why you're crying, analyze what's going on in your mind.

If you crave communicating with him, communicate with your close friend or family member. If you want to contact him, read your shit list again and again.

If you're breaking up on a Friday (which I recommend), use the weekend to do self-care, workouts, self-dates, etc. DO NOT REVISIT THE DATES YOU DID WITH HIM. DO NOT TRIGGER MEMORIES WITH HIM. I suggest going on a entirely new date if you're going the self-dates route.

The next week, dedicate yourself to your job, school, whatever. No man shall slow you down professionally. If you feel emotional, give yourself MORE work. WORK. WORK. WORK.

The next 1-2 weeks, prepare yourself to get back on the game. You're not gonna let a ex occupy your mind and stop you from great opportunities. If it is the case, he is WINNING and you're LOSING.

Do NOT talk about the ex to anyone else besides your closest friends. You're not gonna be THAT person that larments about her ex. You're gonna be that person that rebounds and carries on elegantly. If you need to talk, book a therapist or write it down in a journal. They're there for you.

DO NOT DO DRASTIC HAIRCUTS OR PERMANENT CHANGES FRESHLY AFTER A BREAKUP. If you crave change, go buy something like a new cute tumbler or new towels or whatever that's not permanent, and note down the desired permanent change. Review the change you wanted to do 3 weeks laters and decide if that's worth it. NEVER DO RASH PERMANENT DECISIONS FRESHLY AFTER A BREAKUP.

Use that post-breakup momentum to get yourself healthier, happier, peppier. Drink more water, adjust your sleep schedule, get into working out, hire a PT, try out new fashion items, etc.