#sequel blog

They settle down next to each other, the taller one’s carry on suitcase and backpack tucked under their feet. He rests his wrists on the back of the couch in a male sprawl, just enough that the side of his hand touches the other’s shoulder.

They talk. The conversation starts simple, but explodes as aimless conversations do. The hand stays against the shoulder. During a particularly long monologue on the making of espresso, the shorter sprawls as well so their knees brush. They keep that contact, too.

An hour passes like this, stars of touch and soft voices. They each constantly check the time through the hour, knots in their insides. The touches become presses; five minutes.

“I have to go, don’t I.” The taller doesn’t move, but he’s stiff with nerves.

“I suppose,” the shorter sighs. They stand and face each other. The taller bites his lip before swopping in and squeezing him in more than a bear hug.

“I don’t have to go, not really,” he whispers fervidly into his shoulder. The other pats his back slightly awkwardly.

“Oh, Al.” He ducks his face into the crook of his neck to lay a kiss there that the airport crowd can’t see. “Yes you do.”

Al lets him go abruptly and backs away, grabbing his things and slinging them onto his person. “Yeah.” His voice rasps over the single word, and he crosses the room to the international flight security line. The shorter trails behind him, drawn close for those last few seconds.

Al stops just beside the line and turns. “Arthur?” He gulps.

The inevitable is making him irritable. “What?”

Al snorts at the snap and grins. “Aw, c’mere, you.” He holds his arms open, and Arthur rolls his eyes before letting himself be folded away one last time, Al’s face pressed to his hair. His lips move, and it’s just loud enough for Arthur to catch; his shoulders hitch and he pulls away, nodding curtly twice. Al beams.

“Well, see ya later!” He ducks around to the shifted end of the line, dragging fingertips up Arthur’s bared forearm on the way.

Arthur shoots up straight as an arrow, and Al laughs and lets himself be yelled at until he’s too far in the line for convenient speech.

He turns, once, to see Arthur watching him with a peculiar glint.

His mouth twitches in a smile; Arthur’s hand twitches in a wave.

noblebeaversocks: would you prefer crumpet?

onceandthefuture: both sound like I'm a cat and I take offense at that

noblebeaversocks: muffykins?

onceandthefuture: now I'm a cat with a lace doily on my head

onceandthefuture: stop it

noblebeaversocks: hahaha, for now

noblebeaversocks: so back to my idiot cousin

noblebeaversocks: how's the cold treating him

onceandthefuture: not well

onceandthefuture: it'd be hilarious if I wasn't being treated the same way

onceandthefuture: stupid northern europe weather

onceandthefuture: oh but we did find you a present

noblebeaversocks: did you now?

onceandthefuture: I'll give you a hint

onceandthefuture: we're in Finland right now

noblebeaversocks: vodka, boring hockey and reindeers?

onceandthefuture: the last one is the closest

noblebeaversocks: you got me rudolph?

noblebeaversocks: or close as in it has hooves and antlers

onceandthefuture: the latter

noblebeaversocks: damn it, i was stoked on the red nose

noblebeaversocks: does it have something to do with the time i took him hunting

onceandthefuture: I'm not sure

onceandthefuture: please, do tell me more

noblebeaversocks: he screamed like a little girl

noblebeaversocks: and fell out of the tree stand

noblebeaversocks: because there was a spider on his neck

noblebeaversocks: which i might've put there

noblebeaversocks: maybe

onceandthefuture: god I'd pay big money to see that

onceandthefuture: how old was he?

noblebeaversocks: 17

noblebeaversocks: he also almost fainted at the blood when i brought it back                

onceandthefuture: so it's not not-funny because he was too little to know better

noblebeaversocks: it was a good weekend         

onceandthefuture: take me next time

noblebeaversocks: bring warm clothes

noblebeaversocks: so back to my surprise

noblebeaversocks: does it involve moose?

onceandthefuture: does it involve moose noblebeaversocks: i take it it does then onceandthefuture: to an almost embarrassing extent onceandthefuture: but al was having so much fun I couldn't bear it in my heart to stop him onceandthefuture: the knife with the moose carved in the handle is very nice though onceandthefuture: if he can get it through security when he leaves noblebeaversocks: sounds cool noblebeaversocks: haha remind him not to keep it in his carry on noblebeaversocks: or maybe don't noblebeaversocks: him getting detained in finland'd be kinda funny onceandthefuture: england onceandthefuture: you don't go through security taking a ferry noblebeaversocks: ahh you're ferrying it back onceandthefuture: yup noblebeaversocks: he milking of your family before going home? onceandthefuture: ferries around the northern seas noblebeaversocks: speaking of which when is he back onceandthefuture: he is very good at the parent sucking up noblebeaversocks: i'm sick of feeding that monster dog of his onceandthefuture: sometime in late April onceandthefuture: like a month from now ish onceandthefuture: and I'm sure she's not that bad noblebeaversocks: he's tired of your liberal views on politics, sex and health care? noblebeaversocks: and she's evil noblebeaversocks: pure concentrated evil onceandthefuture: we're all tired of travelling noblebeaversocks: that someone forgot to mix with 3 cans of water before serving noblebeaversocks: too many nights pent up in the same hotel room? onceandthefuture: god noblebeaversocks: please tell me you got mad at him at least once noblebeaversocks: and punched him noblebeaversocks: he deserves it onceandthefuture: most of our fights rarely get to blows onceandthefuture: that broken wrist is still sensitive though onceandthefuture: just fyi noblebeaversocks: yeah but that was from a girlllll noblebeaversocks: and al hits weaker than a girl onceandthefuture: you just think that because you're his size onceandthefuture: he's not really a lightweight noblebeaversocks: nah its because he's a girl onceandthefuture: I think I can attest to that being false noblebeaversocks: oh can you now onceandthefuture: I have shared a hotel room with him close to a year now noblebeaversocks: i've been on enough hockey tournaments to know how that ends noblebeaversocks: so is my cous all talk and no action? onceandthefuture: mostly talk onceandthefuture: you have to get him past that to find the action noblebeaversocks: no easy nights eg/ noblebeaversocks: eh?* onceandthefuture: not anymore noblebeaversocks: anymore? onceandthefuture: like I said onceandthefuture: it takes a while to get past the talk noblebeaversocks: oooh have you moved it out of the bedroom at night? onceandthefuture: you lost me boy noblebeaversocks: i may have not slept for far too long noblebeaversocks: sometimes i wonder what i'm trying to say noblebeaversocks: then i decide it's not worth the effort onceandthefuture: man after my own heart noblebeaversocks: so got any good stories from your recent adventures? onceandthefuture: hmmm onceandthefuture: well at one point we did accidentally set a windmill on fire noblebeaversocks: y....how what that's awesome noblebeaversocks: tell more onceandthefuture: hehehe onceandthefuture: it was right after you and gil left onceandthefuture: when we were crossing northern europe onceandthefuture: and we went out exploring one night and there was an abandoned windmill off the road a little way onceandthefuture: and we were bored so we wandered over there onceandthefuture: and it was dark and moldy and gross inside onceandthefuture: and there was some hay onceandthefuture: and I keep a lighter on me at all times onceandthefuture: and onceandthefuture: well we did call the fire department anonymously before we booked it noblebeaversocks: oh lord noblebeaversocks: so much win noblebeaversocks: and so much bad onceandthefuture: we persuaded toris to leave town a different way the next day onceandthefuture: they don't know and you're not allowed to tell them onceandthefuture: btw onceandthefuture: or al's parents noblebeaversocks: or any lawful authorities onceandthefuture: exactly onceandthefuture: I'm pretty sure burning down a building is a felony in any language noblebeaversocks: they have a nice fun word for it in english - arson noblebeaversocks: now all you need is the murder and jaywalking   onceandthefuture: oh we have the jaywalking in buckets noblebeaversocks: and the murder? onceandthefuture: still working on that onceandthefuture: although Al got close to animal murder somewhere in Germany with a bike and a Maltese onceandthefuture: instead he just dented his rented bike on a lamppost noblebeaversocks: no broken bones? onceandthefuture: just broken pride noblebeaversocks: good, it'll deflate that ego of his a little onceandthefuture: there was a good amount of ego deflating on this trip onceandthefuture: like when we went horseback riding in poland onceandthefuture: and I'm sure you're aware that he rides onceandthefuture: but it was an English saddle place noblebeaversocks: and he was showing off like usual? onceandthefuture: naturally onceandthefuture: he exists to show off noblebeaversocks: true that noblebeaversocks: did he fall off over the head or the rear? onceandthefuture: even more ignoble onceandthefuture: the side noblebeaversocks: ahahhaha onceandthefuture: he just slipped right off noblebeaversocks: please never let him live that down onceandthefuture: of course not onceandthefuture: and since my parents were rich toffs I was in a saddle from birth onceandthefuture: it was one of my crowning moments to be able to ride circles around him moaning on the ground without using reins onceandthefuture: I'll never forget it noblebeaversocks: as it should be noblebeaversocks: meet anyone interesting/ onceandthefuture: several onceandthefuture: the majority of whom were related to toris onceandthefuture: you know toris right noblebeaversocks: we talked when you and al were sleeping off a hangover in amsterdam   onceandthefuture: I'll worry more about that later onceandthefuture: anyway so you know how he's a nervous wreck of a worrywart noblebeaversocks: yeahhh onceandthefuture: well there's a reason for that

Arthur’s aunt and uncle fixed Arthur’s favorites that night for dinner - for, among all the other things that day was, it was Arthur’s birthday - after hours of the two of them wandering Oxford and talking like it was their last chance. They packed up his uncle’s art store van for the trip to Heathrow in the morning. Peter snatched at Al’s attention for a while, but Arthur snapped at him until his mother tucked him off the bed.

Al and Arthur waited until the rest of the house was quiet, mindlessly watching the late night programming, before slipping off to the guest room for their own, private goodbye.

The door clicked shut behind Arthur, soft and silent. Al stood in front of him, close enough that Arthur could see his bare feet as he stared at the carpet.

“Hey.” Al took his face in his hands and lifted it to look in his eyes, and Arthur was struck by how much he’d grown while he’d known him. At some point he’d lost his boyhood. He wondered if he’d changed as much, too.

He wondered if Al could tell.

Al grinned at him, and he smiled back, hands rising to hold Al’s waist. “You fool.”

Al shrugged and pulled him up by his hold for the first kiss of the night.

Tonight was hard and searching, quiet gasps and open exploration. They fell on the double bed, Al over Arthur and kissing fiercer than he ever had before. Arthur sucked in a breath when he went to his neck, nails in Al’s back and trousers sliding as he tried to keep up with him.

“Calm down, love.” Al rested his temple against his cheek, breath misting on his neck.

“How can you say that?” His arms curled under his back. “I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.” His voice caught, and Arthur wove his fingers through his hair.

“Course, of course you will.” He slid his cheek down the side of Al’s face. “I’m not sure I could live without you.”

Al lifted his head, held at nose length. His eyes weren’t blue anymore, just eyes. “Yeah.”

He crushed down into a long kiss, tongue deep and pressure all over Arthur. They were breathless when they emerged, too close to pull at clothing but pleasant. Arthur smiled up at him, loose in a way he was unaccustomed to. Al gulped, laughed breathlessly, looked at the pillow behind his head.

“This has never happened to me before,” he mumbled, almost to himself. Arthur tilted his head slightly.

“What is it?” Al laughed again and pushed up on his elbows, shaking his hair over his eyes. He needed a haircut.

“Nothing, it’s just...” he tugged at Arthur’s collar lightly with the tips of his fingers. “My brain’s taken a mind of its own.”

Arthur pushed at him until he sat up so he could pull off his shirt. “Clarity, love.”

“It’s writing you a poem.”

Arthur paused with his shirt half over his head. “I beg your pardon?”

Al’s laugh echoed, his hands helped him finish taking off his shirt. “Yeah, weird.” He tugged Arthur into his legs-sprawled lap, eyes on his bare skin. “But it won’t stop.” Fascination, curiosity. Arthur slipped off Al’s shirt in a practiced move.

“Is it awful?”

Al shook his head slowly. “At least, I don’t think so.”

Arthur crossed his wrists loosely behind Al’s head. “Then you should tell me about it.” Al’s slow gaze made Arthur shudder. He lifted one hand from where it was resting in the band of Arthur’s pants to hold one of Arthur’s forearms, lift it around to press his lips against the inside of his wrist.

“I am addicted to your bones.” He bit loosely on the pad of his thumb. Arthur’s eyes tracked his mouth down his inside tendon. “The pulls and slides of your muscle in your skin.” The hand holding his arm followed up to link fingers. “The serpentine swing of your palm against mine.” It let go, slam of a pull in and up, sudden chest-to-chest and that mouth on neck. Arthur automatically held it close. “And you are mine, flashing eternal, this tea taste-” lick up the jaw- “and bitter eyes-” soft press to his fluttering eyelids, one, two- “and rabbit down.” Kiss to the hair. Arthur breathed deep, kept his eyes closed as he was laid back against his pillows, phantom fingers trailing down his stomach to his trouser button.

Presence at his shoulder as the hands exposed further. “I’m telling you this now to memorize you.” The whispers ghosted down as the cagings on his legs fell away. “To memorize the way I sputter and rearrange with you in my room.” He was laid bare, cracked his eyes to find and reach for Al, who looked lost and confused and amazed.

Al let himself be drawn into his kiss, his necessary kiss. At some point he’d unbuttoned his own pants, not completely off but enough. The jolt of texture made Arthur gasp and Al bit the other lip. Arthur’s wild hands gripped his lower back, arched in to thicken the cloud in his head, locked their ankles together.

“I’ll remember later,” he mouthed against Arthur’s, voice barely sounding, “but this is mine for you.” He followed the rhythm set, mind erasing for a moment in this intoxication of Arthur, twisted across a second-grade mattress in a dark room. They slid haphazardly together; Al reached in to grip them both. Arthur shuddered, kissed him harder. Al allowed it, arching with the natural human flow as he stroked both of them as best he could, propped up on his free elbow over Arthur with his hand coming through the other’s hair. Arthur’s hand slid down to curl over Al’s, and Arthur threw his head back to gasp at the added pressure, breaking the kiss and baring his neck. Al kissed the hollow below his ear. A hitch of breath, and he picked back up in his poem.

“So sew this into your almond skin and know,” he said between tracing a line with his tongue down his neck towards his heart, then small horizontal dashes up - stitches over a seam. Arthur clenched his teeth.

Al ended back with lips on ear, cheek on cheek, hand working furiously. They were close. “Because you’re mine, and I’m-”

Arthur choked on some emotion and pulled Al’s head to kiss him as he came, moisture gathering at his closed eyelids as Al fell off his elbowed support and joined him, mouth open and panting over his.

It took a long time to recover, for the glow to fade and the sweat to cool. They held each other through it, close. Eventually, though, Arthur needed to breathe more, so he shoved at Al until he rolled to the side with a groan, then straightened them out on the bed so they had heads on pillows, although not yet under the sheets. Arthur latched onto his side, leg over leg and arm over chest, and sighed in content.

“Did you like it?” Al asked quietly, arm weaseling around Arthur’s shoulders. He smiled.

“It was probably a mite plagiarizing at some parts, and there wasn’t much by way of a rhyme scheme,” he told Al’s chest. “But I loved it.”

“Good. Awesome.” He held Arthur closer so Arthur was half on top of him. “Keep it.”

“Yes.”

Slowly they moved under the covers, keeping contact and letting the nice buzz of sex fill them up while ignoring the stick. Al curled into Arthur’s side this time, nuzzling into his neck.

“I’m gonna miss you like a heartache.” Arthur shushed him calmly, quietly.

“Don’t fret, it won’t be forever.”

“Better not.” He clutched him close, back into that perfect fit Arthur adored. “I’d die without you.”

Arthur snorted through the clench in his chest. “Now that’s a little extreme, love.” Al shook his head behind him.

“Nuh-uh. You’re...” A pause as his sex-addled mind searched for the perfect simile. “You’re like water to me.”

Arthur made a face and slapped the hands crossed over his chest lightly. “Stop exaggerating.”

“Nope. not exaggerating.” He kissed the back of his neck. “A few days without you and I’d die.”

“Maybe. Ocean storms are weird.” He tilted back to look up at the clouds, then all around. “I think it’ll pass us by without even a raindrop.”

Toris snorted at him. “Since when did you know so much about weather patterns?”

Al grinned. “S’just a feeling.” The grin faded, and he went back to staring over the water. Toris’s feet settled into the flow of the ferry, watching the dark Baltic water pass by meters below in a hypnotic rhythm.

“Hey, Toris?” He jerked out of his trance at Al’s sudden voice, then glanced over to see Al still watching the waves, biting some dead skin off his lip. He waited. Al sighed, chin falling to his chest. “I think I’m done.”

Toris blinked at him. “Done with what?”

“Done with traveling, done with suitcases, done with acting, done with... this,” he said with a gesture that encompassed all the months back. “I want to go home. Hell, I even want to go to school.” He laughed a little and put his chin in his hands. “How weird is that?”

“Not very, actually.” The shoulder under his touch when he reached out was tension-sprung. “How long have you felt like this, Al?”

Al smiled sheepishly, not a grin. “A while, I guess. I just...” He heaved a sigh, looked away again. “Didn’t know how to tell you. You and Mom and Dad have put so much into this, and it really has been great, especially at the beginning! But... I just feel smaller than before, or something. Tired. I’m ready for my house again.” He hunched into himself a little, and Toris’s hand on his shoulder went to rub his back through his bomber jacket.

Toris thought. Eight months was a long time to be away from anywhere, and even though Al was an experienced actor and had traveled pretty extensively away from home during his short life, he was still only eighteen. Maybe they’d put too much pressure on him, expecting him to work in foreign countries fresh out of high school while still applying and preparing for university in the fall. It was rather a lot to put on one teenaged boy’s shoulders. Maybe it would be healthier - for all of them - to cut the trip short.

And anyway, Feliks had been complaining about his limited fashion choices for weeks now.

“Tell you what.” Al lifted his head. “Why don’t we go inside, talk about it with the other two, and then I’ll make a few calls. I’m sure the rest of your auditions won’t mind one less contestant, and we can get to the ferry to England faster that way.” Al beamed and threw his arms around him, lifting his feet clear of the deck. Toris laughed and patted his back until he was set down.

“You’re seriously the best, Toris. Thanks.” Toris smiled at him fondly.

“Just don’t wait so long to tell me something like that again, okay? I’m your agent, not your slave driver.” Al shook his hair in front of his face to hide his sheepish grin. Toris stepped towards the cabin with Arthur and Feliks. “C’mon, let’s go talk it out.”

``````````

While Al and Toris talked outside, Arthur and Feliks were having their own advice session away from the Baltic Sea wind.

“Honestly, you have more power in your university name that you might know,” Feliks said, leaning back against the ferry pleather seat and sprawling out. “People’ll respect you when you say Oxford, no matter how good you actually were when you were there, or what you studied.” Arthur snorted and dug into his bag of chips absent mindedly.

“I’ve begun to realize that.” He sighed and leaned back to mirror Feliks. “I don’t know, Fel. I’m just worried about everything these days.” He bent a leg up to his chest and hugged it, frowning out the window. “I want to know if this is where I’m supposed to be.”

Feliks shrugged. “Supposed to or not, it’s where you are. It’ll work itself out, you’ll see.” He smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “You’re a smart kid, sweetie. Someone will see that, I’m sure.” Arthur grunted, but didn’t let up on his frown. Feliks watched him for a moment, then sighed dramatically and propped his elbow on his knee to lean his chin on his hand.  “Look, I went the whole English degree route too, y’know?” Arthur looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and he grinned. “I mean, I knew I had to go to college or my fam would, like, kill me, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. It took most of getting that degree to figure out I really wanted to paint instead, and another few years to start painting faces.” He smiled, and Arthur snorted in disbelief.

“But you love what you do – I’d always assumed you’d grown up doing your mum’s makeup or something.”

Feliks laughed and fell back into his earlier sprawl. “You kiddin’? My mom hates wearing makeup, and I have three brothers. I didn’t so much as touch makeup until I was out of that house. I mean, they’re supportive and they didn’t, like, kick me out or anything, but… it took a while for them to get used to all of this.” He gestured to his appearance, striped V-neck shirt and Parisian scarf included.

“I’m sorry.” Feliks shrugged.

“Whatevs, they’re over it now and so am I. Of course, finding Toris probably helped that out.” He glanced out towards his fiancé, who was busy doing the same sort of consoling to Al. Arthur chuckled, pulling him back.

“Yeah, he’s probably every parent’s dream son-in-law.” They were quiet for a moment; Feliks broke it with a laugh and an easy shove.

“What I’m getting at is don’t worry so much, kid. If you were meant to do something, then you were meant to do it. It’ll happen, one way or another.”

Arthur smiled slightly. “Thanks.” He emptied the crumbs of his chips into his mouth. “I just want to make people think, or help them figure out how to think. Or both.” He ran his hands through his hair, chip bag falling to his side. “I just don’t know how.”

“One way or another, you’ll figure it out. Just don’t, like, let what you study decide for you.” They smiled at each other, but movement at the cabin door drew their attention to Toris and Al coming back inside. Arthur made eye contact with Al, and the relief there, coupled with Toris’s sigh, told him all he needed to know about what the outside conversation had covered.