#sept 15

moments are so fleeting, sand in my hands, I swear I'm trying to hold on, to savor, but time has never made a friend out of me. in an attempt to remind myself of my growth, I'm on a writing trip to reflect. today, I read my old journals from 2018-2020, this was a difficult phase of different jobs, questions, feeling lost, the weight of time introduced itself then. but it was all in the shadows of this genuine faith that made mole hills out of mountains. I wish I could tell her everything she feared came true. she was right, we didn't find a purpose or a career, we didn't experience romantic love, we didn't become thinly beautiful, or do anything with our theatre degree. every fear that was so debilitating happened - and I have never been happier. I wish she could know that, I grieve for her, I thought I would hate myself as I read the pages, but I love this girl. she was dramatic and sensitive and emotional. she was strange, and also the only reason I am here as I am. no one understands her, but I celebrate her every time I dream, every time I date, every time I say nice things about my body. I am only me because that weird girl was so brave, and I don't hate her, not at all, not one bit.