#separate reader

“What’s taking her so long?” You huffed, frustrated while you bounced on the spot, glancing between the teaching assistant staff member and the car park, “Mama’s never this late!” You stated, furrowing your brows as your hands fidgeted with the straps of your backpack.

“I’m sure that she’s just stuck in a bit of traffic,” The teaching assistant reasoned with you, trying to keep you calm in the present moment.

“Nuh uh! I don’t think so! What if something’s happened?” The chatter spilled out of your mouth, not entirely making a whole lot of sense as your thoughts zigzagged from one thing to the next. 

It was a bad day.

And now Jordan was late to pick you up. That never happened.

Every day you would get picked up from school at three fifteen on the dot. But here you were, waiting and she still hadn’t turned up yet.

You groaned, tilting your head with a dramatic fashion, “Do you think she’s forgotten about me? What if… Oh no! Maybe she’s got stuck at that one roundabout!” You exclaimed, waving your hands dramatically and pacing in tiny circles.

Each minute that passed you started to grow more restless. You spotted the railings near the car park, and without thinking, you darted towards them.

“Careful, Maeve!” The teaching assistant called over cautiously, stepping closer.

You turned around and scowled at the woman that used your actual name, “I’m only gonna swing on ‘em!” You insisted, letting your intrusive thoughts win, and swinging on the bars, “See? I’m not doing anything wrong!”

The teaching assistant exhaled a sigh, shaking her head, “I should’ve known it wasn’t a good idea to wait out here,” They muttered under their breath.

You didn’t care to listen to the teaching assistant, you just wanted to have fun and swing on the bars. At least you weren't hurting anybody—this time around.

“What’re you doin’ out here, trouble?” You recognised the familiar voice of Amanda. 

You froze mid-swing, a huge grin spreading across your face, “Nana!”

“Hello, sweetheart,” Amanda crouched slightly, hands on her knees as she tilted her head, “Do you want to get down from there before you hurt yourself?”

“I’m only swingin’ on ‘em!” You protested, gripping the cold metal tightly and kicking your legs out.

“Oh, right?” Amanda arched her eyebrow, half-amused and half-unimpressed, “Do you think this is something that your Mum or Mama would let you do that?”

“No…” You huffed, reluctantly hopping down while you crossed your arms over your chest, “Where’s Mama? She was supposed to pick me up!”

“I know, sweetheart,” Amanda said, ruffling your hair gently, “Something came up and she’s running a bit late. But don’t worry, I’m here, and I think you’re going to like what’s at home.”

Your eyes lit up in excitement, “Is it a new LEGO set?”

“Hm… no,” Amanda’s lip twitched in amusement, “It’s something much better.”

“What’s better than LEGO?” You demanded, bouncing on your heels, “Ooh! Is it a new football? Mum said I could have one if I did better at school!”

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Amanda said with a wink, “How about we get into the car and go back to your house, and you can find out for yourself?”

You were already practically sprinting towards the car, the excitement spilling out of every pore, “Ooooh! Let’s go, let’s go—Bye Miss! See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”

“Monkey,” Amanda chided, shaking her head in amusement as she opened the passenger door, “Seatbelt on, remember?”

“I got it,” You mumbled, reaching for the seatbelt to remember to buckle in, “The seatbelt hurts my neck though, Nana ‘Manda.”

“I know, but I don’t make the rules. It’s the law that you have to wear it,” Amanda said, giving a small chuckle, “So… seatbelt on, or we’re not moving from this car park.”

You huffed in disagreement, “Urgh, fineeeeee!” You groaned, buckling in with exaggerated dramatic flair.

“We’ll be home before you know it,” Amanda reassured you, turning the key in the ignition, “So, how was school today?”

“It was such a bore! I don’t see why I still hafta go!” You complained immediately, flopping back in the seat, “I don’t need school.”

Amanda smiled fondly, “Listen, I know you’re not a fan, sweetheart, but it’s important,” She told you, reversing her car out of the school car park, “I’d imagine at your age, school is the best.”

“No,” You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, “All of my teachers literally hate me, Nana. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been stuck in detention today—”

“Hold on a minute, madam,” Amanda turned to look at you, disappointed, “You got detention?”

“Damn it,” You realised that you screwed up, blabbing what you wanted to keep a secret, “Yeah, uh… so that happened, please don’t tell either of my mums’ about it!”

“I won’t tell them,” Amanda promised.

“Phew, thanks, Nana!” You breathed a sigh of relief, “I’d probably end up being grounded or something… “

“You can tell them yourself, though,” Amanda continued, her tone gentle but calm, “You have to take responsibility for your actions, Monkey.”

“Nana!” You whined in protest, “But if I tell them… then I’ll just end up getting in trouble, and it won’t be fair!”

“You should’ve thought about that before you got detention, sweetheart,” Amanda said calmly, fixing her eyes on the road, “You’ll feel much better telling them, then keeping it bottled up.”

“It wasn't my fault this time!” You shot back, exasperated.

Amanda raised an eyebrow, briefly glancing at you sulking in the passenger seat, “This time?”

“I just mean, it wasn't anything that bad! I was just… talking,” You quickly deflected, protesting your innocence, “Yeah, so I was talking and Mr Hughes got all, like, annoyed with me over it. And then… Bam! Detention! See? Totally unfair!”

“Uh huh,” Amanda remarked, not entirely convinced, “And you just so happened to get a whole lunch time detention, just for that? I don’t know Monkey, it doesn’t seem unfair. It sounds like you were being a bit of a pain in the middle of class.”

“Me? Nah. I was just… expressing my thoughts aloud. It’s his fault he couldn’t handle the fact I’m a ray of sunshine!” You said, puffing your chest out dramatically.

“Can you please please tell me what the surprise is?” You were excitedly fidgeting in your seat, minutes away from the house where you were expecting something big—it wasn’t LEGO, maybe it was a football… or maybe it was something else, “I’m dying to know what it is, Nana!”

Amanda laughed softly, glancing at you for a second before she turned left in the direction of your home, “I know that you’re eager, but you’ll just have to wait and see, sweetheart.”

You groaned dramatically, flopping back in your seat, “But I want to know!”

“You just have to wait a bit longer,” Amanda promised, “Even if it’s hard for you to be that impatient—” Her words went over your head as she pulled into the driveway.

“We’re home!” You exclaimed, already fumbling with your seatbelt before Amanda even had the chance to turn the ignition off.

“Careful, Monkey,” Amanda panicked, eyes wide as you almost literally face-planted the pavement trying to get out of the car, “You almost fell on your face then.”

You didn’t care, not one bit. Your legs were already flying up the drive with your backpack bouncing behind you, “Come on, Nana! I wanna see what’s waiting inside—Mama! Mum!” You shouted, bursting through the front door.

“Hey, hey,” Jordan appeared in the hallway, holding a finger to her lips with a soft smile, “Inside voice, Monkey. Remember, we don’t shout in the house, do we?”

You stopped mid-bounce, furrowing your brows, “Mama!” You exclaimed, running straight to her and throwing your arms around her.

Although, your happiness didn’t last when you pulled away and scowled at her.

Jordan didn’t seem to realise you were upset as her grin widened, “Hey, little one. Good day at school—Oh boy,” She let out a low whistle, finally realising you were annoyed, “I recognise that face, what’s the matter?”

“You didn’t pick me up like normal!” You huffed, folding your arms over your chest.

“Oh, I see,” Jordan’s lips twitched, trying to hold back a laugh at your scrunched up angry expression.

“She’s very upset about that, Jord,” Amanda teased, leaning forward to ruffle your hair.

“I know that I was supposed to pick you up, little one. I’m sorry about that,” Jordan said gently, slipping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in tighter before she pressed a kiss to your temple, “Something important came up, but I promise you’ll understand when you see.”

You huffed in an attempt to half-lean into her hug but still trying to look at her with a poutful expression, “Hmph. You better make it up to me.”

Jordan grinned, letting you go, “Oh, don’t you worry,” She teased, playfully poking your nose. 

“Mama,” You whined, scrunching your nose up in annoyance, “Stop, I don’t like that—Where’s Mum?”

“She’s through there in the living room,” Jordan motioned in the direction of the room.

Your eyes lit up in excitement, “Does she know what the surprise is?”

“Oh, I think she might do,” Jordan smirked in amusement, exchanging a look with Amanda, “Why don’t you go and see what it might be.”

“Mum!” You shouted at the top of your lungs, already halfway into the living room before Jordan could even stop you, “Mum!?!”

“Monkey,” Leah exhaled a sigh from where she sat on the sofa, hair tied back in a messy bun while she looked half-exhausted, but somehow she was still glowing, “What did Mama just say about using your inside voice?” She asked in a tone that was gentle but firm.

“... Sorry,” You stopped dead in your tracks, eyes widened at the tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket cradled in Leah’s arms, “Whoa! No way—my new favourite little buddy is here!”

“I told you that it was better than LEGO,” Amanda joked, walking into the living room behind you and gently pushing you forward towards your new baby sister, “Go and say hi to your baby sister, sweetheart.”

“She’s so… tiny,” You whispered, eyes softening as you stole another glance at the bundle wrapped in soft pink, “I can’t believe she’s here, she’s like… home! Is she strong enough now? She doesn’t have to go back to the hospital now, does she?”

“She’s home now, and this is where she’s staying,” Jordan chimed in, appearing in the living room with a smile plastered on her face, “There’s no need for any more trips to the hospital.”

“Come here, my girl,” Leah patted the sofa cushion beside her, shifting carefully so you have space on the sofa beside her.

You didn’t hesitate to scramble up on there, eyes glued to the tiny infant in Leah’s arms, “Can I hold her? Please, Mum? Please, please?” You begged, bouncing on the cushion like it was the comparison to a trampoline.

Leah laughed softly, smoothing a hand over your hair, “Okay, okay, you can hold her, Monkey, but you’ve got to be gentle, okay? She’s very, very tiny still.”

“I can be gentle!” You immediately promised, fidgeting on the sofa to get comfortable, “I’ll be the gentlest that I’ve ever been!”

“Ooh, come here, little poppet. You’re going to have cuddles with your big sister now,” Jordan cooed, sliding her hands under the bundle in Leah’s arms, exchanging a soft glance with her girlfriend before leaning down towards you, “Alright, ready? You just need to support her head, like… this, and there we go.”

Your arms went stiff for half a second as the weight settled into them, “She’s really small,” You whispered, looking down at the infant’s scrunched up, sleepy little face, “But she smells a bit funky, though.”

“That’s just what newborns smell like, my girl,” Leah’s laugh came out tired but warm, her hand brushing your arm just in case you needed any help, “You’ll get used to it in no time.”

But you weren’t listening anymore, your whole focus was on the tiny fingers curling against your school blazer sleeve, “Hi, remember me? I’m your big sister, I love you and I’m gonna protect you forever—and when you’re older, I can teach you all the cool stuff that you need to know, you’ll love LEGO just like I do… oh yeah and I’ll even share my sweets with you as well, I suppose.”

“Wow, willing to even share your sweets?” Jordan let out a low whistle, crouching down beside you as her hand hovered under yours just in case, “You’re going to be a great big sister to her, Monkey. We already know it,” She glanced up at Leah, who was already watching you like she was mesmerizing this very moment, eyes glistening even through her exhaustion.

“We’ve finally got our two girls home together at last,” Leah smiled in awe, watching you cradle your six-week old sister in your arms, “I’ve been waiting for this moment to happen.”

“We both have,” Jordan murmured, smiling as you watched you gently stroke your favourite little buddy’s tender cheek, “This is a picture perfect moment.”

However, a few months later… and the excitement of being a new big sister had definitely faded, your favourite new little buddy was still tiny, but she wasn’t brand-new, and it felt like all of the attention was constantly on her now.

Leah and Jordan were knee-deep in the challenges of new parenthood. Juggling a teenager and an infant. Both of their days revolved around feeds, nappy changes and the constant rocking to soothe the crying infant, who definitely did not like sleep.

You’d lost count of the nights that she’d cried all night long. She felt like a demonic little gremlin rather than a sweet baby that everyone cooed over.

So, here you are now, standing in the middle of the living room, toe-tapping your football across the carpet in the living room. You were mid-dribble between the sofa and the coffee table, imagining yourself in the final of a Champions League.

“And she shoots… and scores!” You spoke aloud, narrating your own commentary as you kicked the ball into the back of the makeshift net, otherwise known as the TV unit, “Right into the top left side of the net, there was no stopping that single rocket of a goal!” 

For a fleeting moment, you felt like a true champion, your t-shirt lifted over your head as you run around the room with your arms in the air, until that moment was dampened with the authoritative voice that cut through your imaginary stadium.

“Maeve Rae!”

You froze in your spot, mid-dribble as eyes widened in panic, “Shit. Now I’m in trouble,” You muttered under your breath.

“Tell me that you’re not playing football inside the house,” Leah’s voice carried through the house, her tone carrying a mix of exasperation and disbelief.

“Okay, uh… I’m… I’m not kicking the ball inside the house,” You lied through gritted teeth, forcing a sheepish grin and doing your best to look innocent, awaiting her approach and knowing full well that your lie was transparent.

“Uh uh,” Leah appeared in the living room doorway with Buddy perched on her hip as the baby, or gremlin as you preferred to call her most recently, looked around with wide, curious eyes, “Do you want to try that again without lying this time?”

“Alright, fine… you caught me then,” You admitted, gripping the ball in her hands as the guilt prickled in your chest, “But I have a good reason for it… I swear.”

“Uh huh? What’d that reason be then…?” Leah narrowed her eyebrows as the corners of her mouth twitched in the frustration that had been building up the last few weeks, “Monkey, we’ve spoken about this. You know the rules. We kick the ball outside in the garden. Not in here. This doesn’t give you the green light to turn the living room into the Emirates Stadium.”

“But Mum, it’s raining outside,” You began, your voice quivering with defiance, “I’ll get all covered in mud and grass, and then you’ll just complain that I brought the mud into the house, so realistically, you know I’m just saving myself another lecture.”

Leah’s sigh was audible, both heavy with frustration and exasperation of a new mum with barely any sleep, “Nice try, but that doesn’t make it okay to kick any footballs near the telly.”

“Come on, Mum… It’s not like I was purposely trying to kick the telly though!” You crossed your arms stubbornly, “I’m bored, and there’s nothing to do—and all of your attention is taken up now!”

“Hey, that’s not true,” Leah softened in that moment, stepping closer towards you as she met your gaze, “You know that you still have my time, Monkey. Once Buddy goes down for a nap then we can do something, alright?”

You scoffed, scowling at the baby perched on Leah’s hip, “Right, course. Are you sure she won’t just cry the whole time?”

“Am I sensing a bit of jealousy right now?” Leah asked, raising an eyebrow as she gently placed Buddy down in her moses basket.

You scrunched your nose and crossed your arms in defiance, “Pft, no way. Course not! Nope, nuh uh. I just… I just think it’s boring that everyone’s always fussing over her now, and nobody has time for me now.”

“Monkey,” Leah exhaled a sigh, removing the muslin cloth from over her shoulder as she swiped the football out of your hands, “Your sister is a baby that requires a lot of our attention, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have time for you. You’re still my best girl, you know that. That’s not gonna change.”

“Yeah? It doesn’t feel like it right now!” You shouted, your voice pitching higher in frustration.

Leah winced, stealing a glance over at the moses basket, afraid that your yelling had startled Buddy, “Hey, hey, no shouting, please. I’ve just got your sister down for a nap,” She said, moving into the kitchen to toss the football back into the garden, ”Let’s just take a moment and talk, come on. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

You followed her into the kitchen, arms crossed across your chest, “What’s the point? I don’t want to talk! You never have time for that now!”

Leah exhaled a sigh, and started to sterilize the bottles, “Alright, hey, listen…” She spun around to face you, exasperated, “I don’t know what is going on with you lately, but all of this shouting and arguing back? It’s not okay, and you know that very well,” She scolded in a hushed voice to not disturb the tiny infant sleeping in the living room.

You scowled in disagreement, shaking your head,  “Whatever, like I care!”

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling a long, frustrated sigh, “That’s it, Monkey. I’ve had enough of your attitude, just… go to your room.”

“Gladly, at least I’ll actually be wanted there!” You screamed, storming off in the direction of your bedroom with dramatic flair.

“And don’t slam the… door,” Leah muttered to herself, pausing when she heard you slam the bedroom door, “Might as well just scream and shout a bit more, and wake the baby up again.”

“Honey, I’m home!” Jordan’s cheerful voice called through the house, carrying a Tesco shopping bag as she instantly clocked Leah’s unhappy expression, “Hey, are you okay? You seem upset.”

“Don’t ask,” Leah mumbled, exhaling deeply as she ran her hand through her hair, “It’s just another delightful day raising a teenager.” 

“Oh?” Jordan arched her brow, placing the shopping bag on the kitchen counter, “What’s happened now?”

“Monkey decided it would be a good idea to play football in the living room,” Leah informed her girlfriend.

“What?” Jordan exhaled a sigh, opening the fridge and placing the milk inside, “She knows she’s not allowed to do that. Not after what happened last time.”

“She knows, but apparently the rules don’t matter to her today,” Leah muttered, moving to lean against the kitchen counter, “But maybe you might have better luck getting through to her, because she clearly doesn’t want to listen to me today.”

“What’s going on with her?” Jordan mumbled, confused, “She’s not normally like this.”

Leah exhaled a sigh, licking her top lip, “I’ve got a feeling it’s got to do with the fact that apparently we’ve got no time for her now that Buddy is here.”

Jordan frowned, “But that’s not true.”

“Oh, I know… I’ve tried to explain that, but… she didn’t want to listen,” Leah murmured, running a hand over her face, “I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately. She’s been acting out more and more, it’s like… nothing we do matters. She’s so angry and lashing out, all of the time.”

“I think she’s just trying to test our limits now, Le,” Jordan noted as she placed the last of the shopping away, and leaned back against the counter beside Leah, “Le, she’s jealous. Plain and simple. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, so she’s pushing your buttons to see if you’ll still react to her. Even if it’s in a bad way.”

“God, everything is so exhausting right now,” Leah groaned, dropping her head against Jordan’s shoulder, “When did life become so difficult? Everything seemed so… fine at first, but it soon crumbled, and now we’re juggling a teenager and baby all at once.”

Jordan snorted softly, kissing Leah’s hair, “Classic Monkey, she’ll sulk about it but then she’ll come creeping down later when she wants food or attention. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Yeah,” Leah admitted, though her eyes flicked towards the hallway and in the direction of the stairs, “It’s just… hard. I don’t want her to feel pushed out—god, I’m knackered Jord. Buddy’s up half of the night, you’re back training now and Monkey is at this certain age where she’s thirteen going on thirty, and insists that she knows what is best for her. Even when it’s not.”

“That sounds about right, Le,” Jordan chuckled, “I know it feels like a lot, but I’m here now. First things first, how about you go and have a lie down? Buddy’s currently napping, and if she wakes up then I’ll take care of her.”

Leah smiled, lifting her head off Jordan’s shoulder, “Thanks, Jord.”

“In the meantime…” Jordan exhaled a sigh, hearing the music start up from upstairs, “I’ll go and try talking to Monkey, and see if she’ll open up to me about things, and get her to turn the music down before she ends up waking the baby.”

“Something tells me that this is just the beginning of it all,” Leah muttered under her breath.

“It’s going to be fine. I’ll sort it,” Jordan pressed a quick kiss to Leah’s temple before heading towards the stairs, “Go lie down. I’ll handle our eldest.”

“Don’t…” Leah hesitated, chewing her lip, and then finally nodded, “Just don’t let her wind you up too much.”

“When has she ever managed that?” Jordan smirked.

Leah raised her eyebrow, “Really?”

“... Alright, maybe once or twice,” Jordan admitted, heading upstairs.

The next upcoming weeks went from bad to worse. Jordan’s chat didn’t magically fix things. If anything, it felt like the start of a downhill slide.

At first, it was little things like rolling your eyes every time that Leah or Jordan asked you to do something, accompanied with an attitude, and muttering certain words under your breath. 

“Monkey, can you help lay the table?” Jordan called over from the kitchen, stirring a saucepan of spaghetti and tomato and basil sauce on the stove, “Dinner’s almost ready now. I’ve made your favourite. It’s spaghetti bolognaise, and I’ve made it just how you like it.”

You huffed, putting your phone face down on the armchair of the sofa, “Why should I do that? You’ve got two hands, haven’t you? You do it.”

“Excuse me?” Leah, bouncing Buddy on her shoulder, froze mid-burp, “Do you want to think about how you just spoke to Mama?”

“But—” You started to argue.

“I don’t want to hear it, Monkey,” Leah cut in firmly, “I want you to apologise and then do what she’s asked you to do. Now. Maeve.”

You folded your arms, digging your heels in, “I don’t see why I have to…”

“Come on, little one,” Jordan cut in, trying to keep the peace, “I asked nicely. Please, now come and help.”

“Urgh!” You threw your head with an exaggerated groan, “Fine, whatever!” You stomped towards the kitchen.

Then the homework started to slip on purpose, deciding it was better to do anything but that. Instead, you were glued to your phone because in your opinion, school was just pointless anyways, so what was the point?

“Monkey,” Leah’s voice cut through, tired but firm, “Phone down. You need to focus on your school work.”

“Why?” You shot back without looking up, “It’s pointless. I don’t need school, at least not when I have football. It’s just… not important.”

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose ,”Monkey, football isn’t everything.  It’s important to have a backup plan, like I have my accountancy degree, so if football falls through—why am I even having this argument with you about this? Phone away. Or else I will take it for the rest of the night.” 

“Seriously?” You groaned dramatically, slumping further into the chair, “Urgh, whatever, like I even care…”

“You should care,” Leah’s jaw tightened, “It’s your future that I’m thinking about here, and right now you’re acting like you couldn’t care less about it.”

Sneaking out became part of your routine, you’d manage to successfully climb out of your bedroom window with your hoodie pulled tight, meeting up with friends from school, who you would never usually hang around with, and had no regard for the time that you needed to be back.

You’ve only been caught once so far, at least, somewhere around one am in the morning when Leah was in the kitchen, warming up one of Buddy’s bottles for the night feed, and even then her disappointment didn’t seem to phase you anymore.

“I know, bubba. Mummy’s getting you a bottle ready now, it won’t be long,” Leah gently rocked the wailing infant in her arms, the exhaustion dripping through her voice, “Mummy’s trying to do it as quick as I can.”

That’s when Leah spotted you lurking in the doorway, clearly just sneaking in from a night with your new friends from school, “And what time do you call this?” She asked, arching a brow with Buddy still fussing in her arms.

“Well… looking at the clock…” You smirked, checking the oven clock, “I’d say it’s around five past one now.”

“Don’t be smart, Monkey,” Leah responded in a sharp voice, but there was weariness behind it,, “Go to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together, “But…”

“Monkey, I’m not going to stand here and argue about this. It’s late, and I need to feed your sister a bottle. Bed. Now.”

You scoffed in response, kicking your trainers off,  “Whatever, not like I care anyways.”

You just didn’t care, not really. You felt like you had been disregarded, even if you’d been told several times that isn’t happening. You felt faded out in the background of a family portrait that you didn’t recognise.

Every gentle correction from either Leah or Jordan was met with a fire of defiance, a push back of more anger. More shouting matches that always ended the same way—sometimes, it was Leah was with red eyes and exhausted, while Jordan was tense and pacing, and you… slamming your bedroom door, headphones in to drown out the world around you.

School was no better. Your teachers seemed to be on your back constantly, and you always gave as good as you got. The arguments flared up over the smallest of things, whether that was your uniform, phone being out, or forgotten homework. The detentions piled up like a never-ending stack of receipts.

First it started with the suspensions. One day turned into three. Jordan and Leah begged you to take it seriously. But that just made you want to do anything, but that. 

And then came the current day.

It was a typical Wednesday morning, you were in your maths class—otherwise known as your least favourite subject with your least favourite teacher—you were already in the worst, foul mood and the baby had been crying half of the night. You stormed out of the house after yet another argument with Leah, about the dirty pile of clothes that was littered over your bedroom because you didn’t care to tidy it up.

Your argument was the fact that it was your bedroom, and therefore there was no need to tidy it up.

Apparently, Leah thought very differently about that one.

Before you knew it, you were being told off… again for talking in the middle of class. Isn’t that a shocker?

“You never shut up, do you?” Your teacher snapped, “Out of the classroom. Now.”

And that’s when something inside of you snapped.

Before even thinking about it, you had grabbed the chair you were sitting on and launched it across the classroom. 

It was like you blacked out in rage of fury and the next thing you knew, you were being led out of the classroom with the result of your chair being thrown across the room and a smashed window in the classroom.

Which led to where you were now, sitting outside the headteacher's office, and knowing that you had definitely messed up this time around.

The familiar footsteps approaching you made you glance up from your chair. Leah and Jordan. Neither of them look particularly happy. You couldn’t help but smirk anyways.

“Wow, no Buddy?” You gasped in shock, sarcasm dripping through your voice, “I didn’t think you two could leave the golden child at home just to deal with me.”

Jordan’s face dropped, while Leah clenched her jaw.

“Monkey, none of this is funny,” Jordan said flatly.

“Oh, really? I’m finding it hilarious,” You fired back, leaning back in your chair, “Here I am, kicked out of another class. Shocker. Bet you’re both real proud.”

“You think this a joke?” Leah crouched down in front of you, keeping her voice sharp but low, “Nothing about throwing a chair is a joke. Do you even get how dangerous that was? You could’ve really hurt someone.”

You rolled your eyes, groaning almost as if her words were overreacted, “Yeah, but I didn’t. I think it was only the window that got the worst of it, didn’t it? Chill, Mum. It’s fine.”

“You’re not listening, Monkey,” Jordan pinched the bridge of her nose, “This isn’t just a detention, Monkey. You could have faced permanent exclusion.”

“Yeah…” That made your smirk falter for a second, but you masked it quickly, “So what? That means no more school. Result. Sure sounds like a win to me.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” Leah stood up, resting her hands on her hip, “You’re acting like you don’t care about the fact that you’re minutes away from being permanently excluded. This isn’t like you at all!”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest and slouching in your seat, “Well, maybe I’ve changed now.”

“Monkey,” Jordan moved to sit on the chair beside you, “You can drop the tough act. We’re not your enemy. We know you. We know this isn’t normal for you.”

“Maybe I’ve changed now,” You muttered, picking at the loose string of your blazer, “Like I said, I’m surprised you two actually paid attention to me long enough, where’s the gremlin? Shouldn’t you be taking care of her?”

“Look,” Leah began, her voice steady but there was an edge of tiredness in it, “We understand things have changed now, and it’s hard to adjust. But acting like this isn’t okay.”

“Like I give a fuck what matters now,” You swore without even thinking twice about it, “You two will just maon at me anyways, so what’s the point in caring about things?”

“Language,” Leah muttered, pinching her lips together as she felt like she was seconds away from losing it, “We’re not trying to moan. This is something deeper, but we can’t help you unless you talk to us. You could’ve seriously hurt someone. Or you could’ve ended up hurting yourself.”

“Like I said before, like I care about what happened,” You muttered, refusing to meet either of their eyes, “Nobody cares about me, so why should I care about any of this?”

Jordan shifted, your words hitting her right in the gut, “That’s not true…”

“Yes it is!” You cut her off, standing up from your chair so suddenly that it scraped against the floor, “You’ve got precious Buddy to take care of, your precious baby that is your actual family and not just a teenager that you felt sorry for and took in—I don’t even fit in this family anymore. I’m just an extra.”

Leah sucked in a deep breath, “You’re our daughter, and you matter to us, Monkey. More than anything in the world.”

“Little one,” Jordan stated, reaching out like she was going to touch your arm, but you jerked back from the affection.

“Don’t, just… don’t,” You spat, “You don’t get it. You’ll never get it.”

The office door opened, and your headteacher poked his head out with an unreadable expression, he looked already done with the day and it wasn’t even lunch time yet, “Miss Williamson and Miss Nobbs, nice to see you both again. I wish it could be under better circumstances. Come inside my office, please.”

“Showtime,” You joked, taking the lead to saunter into the spacious office where your headteacher, Mr Dickens, sat behind his desk while there were three chairs on the opposite side, “So… Sir, did I mess up enough to earn a permanent exclusion this time? Put me out of my misery, please."

“Monkey,” Leah fixed you with a stern, pointed look as she took a seat in one of the chairs, “This isn’t the time to joke about things. This is serious.”

Your headteacher laced his fingers together, “Maeve,” The man began, peering to look at his computer, where no doubt was your school record, “Throwing a chair across the classroom is a serious breach of safety. That’s something that cannot be overlooked. I’m afraid that as a result of this, I have no other choice but to permanently exclude you from this school.”

Jordan inhaled sharply. Leah’s nails tapped against her arm where they were crossed.

And you? You forced a smirk that didn’t even reach your eyes anymore, “Guess I finally achieved something then.”

“Monkey,” Jordan fixed you with a disappointed look, shaking her head.

“What? I told you that I hated school—this is a win for me!” You stated gleefully, slouching back in your chair and staring at your headteacher, “Thanks, sir. This is the best news I’ve received all month. Nice knowing you. See you later, Alligator.”

“Monkey, for God’s sake!” Leah spun around in her chair so fast that you thought she might combust, “For once, will you stop joking around and acting like this is some sort of game!” Her voice cracked right at the end, the first sign that this wasn’t just anger… it was hurt.

That part? Well that knocked the smirk right off your face.

The car ride was silent. Too silent. It was the kind of silence that made your skin itch because you knew that it wouldn’t last long. You sat slumped in the backseat, picking at a frayed thread on your sleeve and staring out of the window like the traffic in St Albans was the most interesting thing in the world.

Leah’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel with your jaw locked so tight that it might snap. Jordan sat in the passenger seat, eyes flicking between the road and her girlfriend like she was mentally rehearsing how to jump in before the blonde exploded.

“I cannot believe you,” Leah’s voice finally cut through, sharp as glass, “We shouldn’t have to leave our eleven week old baby—your eleven week old baby sister at home with your Nana just to come and deal with your delinquent ass, deciding to throw a chair through a window.”

“Leah,” Jordan warned softly, reaching out to touch her arm.

“No, don’t Leah me,” Leah snapped, her eyes remaining fixed on the road, “I am furious right now, Jordan. Absolutely furious. This is beyond backchat, or slamming doors—this is borderline violence. And now you’ve been expelled, Monkey! That is serious!”

You shifted in your seat, continuing to drag your nails over the same loose thread,  “Well, it’s not like I liked school that much anyways.”

“Again with the attitude!” Leah exclaimed, slamming her first on the steering wheel, “Are you hearing yourself? You think this is funny. You think this is just one big joke. Newsflash Monkey, it’s not. You’ve been kicked out of school. For good. And now we have to find a new school that will take you in. What part of that do you think is hilarious?”

“Le, stop,” Jordan’s hand squeezed her arm gently, keeping her voice low, “Shouting at her isn’t going to achieve anything.”

“It seems like nothing is at the minute,” Leah let out a small, bitter laugh, “We’ve been tiptoeing around this behaviour for months. We’ve bent over backwards to support you—we’ve always given you everything that you’ve wanted, Monkey. We raised you. And what do we get in return?  We receive a phone call with your headteacher, asking us to come down to the school because you’ve decided to launch a god damn chair at your teacher! What part of that is okay?”

Your cheeks flushed hot. You started to open your mouth, ready to fire back, but you saw Jordan’s warning look in the rear-view mirror and thought twice about it, clamping your mouth shut again.

“You are so lucky, Monkey,” Leah shook her head, gripping the wheel tighter, “So, so lucky that nobody got hurt, do you understand? If that chair happened to hit one of your classmates, or even your teacher then we’d be having a very different conversation in the police station—don’t you dare roll your eyes at me again, Maeve Rae!” She chided, catching you mid-eye roll in the back of the car.

“I wasn’t!” You snapped automatically, even though you definitely did of course roll your eyes.

“Monkey,” Jordan sighed, her voice softer but firmer now, “You need to listen. This isn’t a joke. We’re trying to help you not blow your life up.”

The weight of her words hung in the car, you just pressed your forehead to the glass of the car window and bit the inside of your cheek hard enough to sting.

“When we get home, you’re grounded,” Leah’s voice came through, quieter now, but still held a firmness to it, “No phone, no friends, no more football games. And you will be cleaning that pigsty that you call a bedroom. What you did was completely unacceptable. You want to act like a grownup, Monkey? Then you can face the consequences like one.”

“I’ve really fucked up,” You thought to yourself, leaning your head on the window as the rest of the drive was full of tension, the only sound was the indicators that signaled Leah pulling into the road that you all lived on.

“I said I was sorry!” You pleaded, following Leah and Jordan through the front door, your bag slipping off your shoulder.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it this time, young lady,” Leah wasn’t having any of your usual excuses, tossing the keys onto the coffee table with a sharp clatter, “We’re back!”

You groaned, tilting your head back dramatically, “Yeah, but Mum… I think you’re being a bit unreasonable—”

“Don’t start that with me, Monkey,” Leah’s tone was firm and straight to the point, “I’ve had enough of your crap for one day. Just… go to your bedroom and make a start on cleaning up so you can actually see the floor now.”

Amanda glanced up from the sofa, Buddy wriggling happily in her arms while her little fists waved like she’d been waiting for them to return, “Look who’s back home,” She said softly, adjusting your sister on her arms, “It’s Mummy and Mama.”

“Hi, poppet,” Jordan cooed, her voice shifting to something softer and brighter as she crossed the room to scoop Buddy up with practiced ease, “Am I glad to see you. Have you been good for your Nana whilst we were gone, hmm?”

“She’s been an angel as usual,” Amanda replied, smiling faintly as Buddy squealed and latched onto Jordan’s necklace, tugging at it with her tiny fists, “So, how did it go at school? What’s the outcome?”

Jordan exhaled a sigh, bouncing Buddy gently in her arms, “Monkey’s been expelled from school.”

Amanda blinked, “What?”

“Yep,” You leaned against the bannister, arms folded across your arms like it was nothing, “I’m just the family delinquent now. Mum even said so.”

“That’s not funny, Maeve,” Jordan warned, spinning around to face you.

You smirked faintly, “Really? I thought it was. Nobody has a sense of humour these days anymore.”

Leah’s eyes snapped in your direction, “Upstairs. Monkey. Bedroom. Now.”

“What? I can’t even get a snack first? Well that blows,” You grumbled, dragging your bag off your shoulder.

“Don’t push it,” Leah stated, keeping her tone low and dangerous, “Go. Now.”

You huffed, pushing yourself off the wall,”Fine, alright. I’m going up there.”

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, frustration spilling over, “I honestly don’t know what to do with her anymore, Mum. I am just so disappointed. She’s really crossed the line this time.”

“I didn’t know there was a line,” You called aloud from halfway up the stairs.

“Monkey!” Leah shouted, her voice sharp with disbelief, “That is enough! You think this a joke? You’ve got yourself expelled. You’ve embarrassed yourself, us and—”

“Alright, that’s enough Monkey,” Amanda cut in before Leah combusted completely, “I think you should just go upstairs and do as you're told before your mum throttles you.”

You scoffed, frozen on the stairs, “Pft, fine. I was already going there!”

“Well… she’s definitely got an attitude on her right now, hasn’t she?” Amanda remarked, standing up from the sofa, “Why don’t you two take a seat on the sofa? I’ll make us a cup of tea, and we can talk about it.”

“Thanks Mum,” Leah sank down onto the sofa with a groan, scrubbing her hands over her face, “I can’t believe she’s been expelled. She’s not even in her second year of secondary school, and it’s just been… wasted.”

“Me neither,” Jordan murmured, sitting on the sofa beside Leah was Buddy in her arms, who was finding entertainment by trying to tug on Jordan’s hair, “Now we have to enroll her in a new school… again. But what if they won’t take her because of her reputation?”

Amanda padded back into the kitchen with three steaming mugs of tea balanced carefully on a tray, “Alright, you two, here we go, three mugs of tea. Now, let’s talk about the real problem you two are facing—Monkey’s been expelled, is there nothing that you can do to not make that happen?”

“I doubt it,” Leah accepted the mug with a heavy sigh, “She was already on her final straw. This was just the icing on the delinquent cake, apparently.”

“She’s testing you, Le,” Amanda explained, taking her own mug and settling into the armchair, “It’s just what teenagers her age do. But I know you two are more than capable than having it under control.”

“She’s just acting like she doesn’t even care,” Leah admitted, shaking her head, “I swear that I don’t even recognise her half of the time at the minute. I’m just… I’m so bloody disappointed. I don’t know where to begin.”

“She does care, babe,” Jordan shifted Buddy on her lap, bouncing her faintly to keep her amused as Buddy let out a squeal, “It’s like your Mum said, she’s testing us and trying to push our buttons.”

Leah rubbed her temples, “It’s bloody frustrating. When we were sitting in that office, having her headteacher tell us that she’s been expelled and she didn’t even bat an eyelid, instead she just cracked a joke, like normal. It feels like we’ve failed her.”

“Le, we haven’t failed her,” Jordan said firmly, though her voice remained gentle, trying to continue to be the peace keeper.

“Really?” Leah shot back, her head snapping up as her eyes flicked between Amanda and Jordan, “Because it sure feels like it. She’s thrown her life away. And she sits there, smirking like it’s all one big joke to her. I don’t know what to do with her.”

“Mum… Mama…” Your voice drifted in from the doorway, sheepish where you were hovering, and waiting for the perfect moment to apologise.  

Jordan and Leah were sunk into the sofa, both entangled in one another’s embrace as the telly murmured low in the background. Buddy was finally asleep upstairs, and there was a rare silence in the house that almost felt too good to be true.

Of course you had realised how you had acted. It wasn’t acceptable. 

Jordan glanced up at you, tearing her attention from the telly, “What’s up, little one?”

“Um…” You fumbled on your words, picking at the skin around your nails, “I just… I wanted to…”

“Monkey, it’s late. Go to bed,” Leah didn’t even look up, her tone full of disappointment, “I’m not in the mood to argue with you again tonight.”

“Wait, no…”  You insisted, sitting on the arm of the sofa, “I wanted to say that I was sorry. I know I’ve been…”

“Acting like a delinquent brat?” Leah cut in, one brow raised, “Absolutely.”

You grimaced, shifting awkwardly in your spot, “Well… yeah, that too.”

There was a tense beat of silence.

“I’m uh… I’m sorry that I got expelled,” You were quick to apologise, “I should’ve taken it more seriously and not…”

“Threw that chair?” Jordan finished your sentence, a matching brow raised.

“Ah, yeah… that too,” You mumbled, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly, “I never should have done it, and got in trouble. I’m really sorry—”

Right on queue, there was a shrill cry upstairs from your eleven-week-old sister who’d woke up.

“Great, even when I’m trying to apologise, she interrupts,” You muttered aloud without thinking twice, earning Leah and Jordan both looking at you with mixed expressions, “Heh… did I say that aloud? Uh… I never meant that.”

“I’ll go take care of Buddy. I think you two need to talk,” Jordan offered, standing up from the sofa and patting your shoulder, “Just remember that we love you, little one.”

With that said, Jordan slipped upstairs to take care of Buddy as the baby’s cries echoed faintly down the hall until the bedroom door clicked shut. Suddenly, the house felt smaller and quieter, with just you and Leah left in the living room.

“Mum…” You hesitated, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie, “Are you really disappointed in me? Because I am… really, really sorry about how I acted.”

Finally, Leah looked at your properly, and her expression softened. The exhaustion was sitting heavy in her eyes as she patted the empty space beside her on the sofa, “Come here, my girl. I think we need to talk.”

You shuffled over and plopped down, shoulders hunched as Leah slipped an arm around you, pulling you into her side despite your stubborn little sulk.

“Monkey, you’ve really been driving me up the wall lately,” Leah admitted with a half-laugh, brushing your hair out of your face, “But you’re still my kid. And I know it’s been… a lot. I know everything is different now, and there’s a new baby in the house. I get it.”

“It’s just… sometimes it feels like you don’t even notice me anymore,” You admitted, voice cracking in the vulnerability of admitting your feelings.

“Are you kidding?” Leah tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet her eyes, “Of course I notice you. You’re my eldest, you’re the one that taught me how to be a Mum, and learn responsibility. You might be a pain in my backside sometimes, but you’re my girl. I know it seems that Buddy needs me, and she does, because she’s a baby but don’t think for a second that you’re being forgotten, because that is the furthest thing from the truth.”

You chewed your lip, eyes glued to the floor, “I didn’t mean to get expelled.”

Leah exhaled a sigh and squeezed your shoulder, “I know, and I didn’t mean to shout like I did, I was just… so upset, Monkey. Scared, even. You’re better than that, and seeing you throw it away… it kills me.”

“I just… I didn’t think about anything when it happened,” You admitted, your voice sounding smaller, “It feels like I don’t fit, like everything’s moving on without me.”

“Monkey, my girl, you’ll always fit,” Leah shook her head firmly, “You’re part of this family, no matter how loud or messy things get. Whether you act like a complete brat, or not. You’re our daughter. Nothing will ever change that.”

You sniffled, leaning into her side, “Am I still grounded?”

Leah arched her brow, “What do you think?”

“... No?” You flashed her an innocent smile, remaining hopeful.

“Nice try,” Leah snorted, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I accept your apology, and I love you, but you’re still very much grounded. Now go to bed before I change my mind.”

“How much longer do we have to be here?” You groaned.

Christmas had always been complicated for you. Sure it was supposed to be festive and filled with magical memories, and joyous fun. However, for you? It’d always been the opposite when you lived with Mark.

Even after years of living with Leah and Jordan, your brain still dragged you back to those Christmas mornings with Mark—a cold, grey morning in a mold infested house, with a numerous amount of beer cans strewn around and the stale stench of cigarettes lingering in the air.

Christmas wasn’t full of warmth, or even laughter. It was just disappointment wrapped up in cheap wrapping paper that never really fit—on the rare occasion that you actually got a present. 

Most of the time, Mark tended to miraculously forget… and you wouldn’t dare bring it up. 

You knew better than that, you learned to not ask questions or you would feel the wrath of the back of his hand. 

So your version of Christmas? It was nothing but plain hell.

It was only when you moved in with Leah and Jordan, were you introduced to Christmas traditions with them, and their families—but your memories still lingered.

This year was supposed to be special. It would be Buddy’s first Christmas, and it had been the only topic that Leah had been talking about since the beginning of November. You’re confident that Leah was planning to go all out.

Which led you to now, currently standing in the middle of the isle in a busy shop, and growing bored increasingly fast.

So you could say that Christmas has always been complicated for you, but this year? It felt… different.

You could sense it. Fourteen or not, autism or not—you weren’t stupid.

Something between Leah and Jordan had shifted.

“Now, why are you being so grumpy, little one?” Jordan teased, clocking your scowl as she tilted her head, masking her own feelings with a grin that was known to always cheer you up.

“I’m bored,” You grumbled, giving the decorations on the racking a once over, “When can we go home? I don’t see the interest in staring at shiny balls of plastic.”

Leah glanced over her shoulder, eyebrows raised in mock-seriousness as she pretended way too hard to sound upbeat, “Since when do you not like Christmas shopping?”

“Since always,” You shot back, “I could be doing something different…. homework, or even smashing someone in Fifa. Literally anything’s better than this.”

“What?” Jordan gasped, clutching her hand over her chest, “Since when do you willingly agree to do homework? It’s usually a long battle before you agree,” She playfully bumped your shoulder, keeping up a faux happiness.

It was safe to say that the tension wrapped around all four of you—it was… uneasy.

“Just a bit longer, little one,” Jordan murmured, patting your shoulder.

You resisted the urge to throw your head back and groan aloud, sparing yourself the embarrassment from fellow shoppers. Why do people actually like to shop? It’s so… dull.

“How about we get a new tree this year?” Leah suggested, clearing her throat. You noticed she had been doing that a lot lately., “We’re due a new one… and maybe some new decorations to go with it—oh, and baubles as well of course! We should get some personalised ones this year for the girls, what do you think?”

Jordan nodded too fast, “Whatever you want to do, love—”

Both of them froze immediately.

They hadn’t called each other that in weeks. In fact, they hadn’t called one another any sort of pet names. You weren’t an idiot, you picked up on that.

“I mean… it’s fine with me,” Jordan corrected herself quickly.

You frowned as you watched them both, that was definitely weird.  Jordan never corrected herself around Leah. And Leah never flinched at pet names.

Why did everything seem so different now?

“Have you thought about what kind of advent calendar you might want this year?” Jordan was quick to change the subject, turning her attention towards you, “There’s several options.”

You scrunched your face up, shaking your head, “I don’t want one.”

“You don’t?” Jordan’s smile flickered, confusion prickled behind it, “But you always have one.”

Leah didn’t make any comment as she ran her thumb over the trolley handles, her eyes fixed on a shelf she wasn’t actually looking at.

“Nope, I’m fine without one. I don’t want one this year,” You murmured, hoping that she would drop the topic of calendars.

This was something that made Leah and Jordan both look at you with matching frowns.

“A… Are you sure?” Jordan continued to look confused, “Look, there’s even one with Shrek on it. That’s cool, right?”

“I… I don’t want one,” You muttered, completely disinterested in them, “I don’t even get what the big deal about them is. It’s just chocolate, ain’t it.”

“It’s more about the tradition, Monkey with the run up to Christmas,” Leah explained in a gentle tone of voice, “If you don’t want to get a chocolate one then I’m sure we can find you some other options, yeah?”

“No thank you, I don’t want one this year,” You mumbled, shaking your head, “It’s not needed. Save your money.”

Jordan’s face dropped at your words while Leah’s eyes flickered with something deeper. Worry? Or guilt? You couldn’t tell.

You didn’t need them wasting their money on a pointless advent calendar this year not when your brain was already panicking if they would split up—it would be two houses, two sets of bills and two people trying to stretch their money further, and you would be stuck in the middle worrying that every pound spent on you was one they couldn’t afford to lose.

You’ve never understood traditions anyways. When you lived with Mark, there was never anything like this and you were never lucky enough—no, wait… scratch that. You never even attempted to ask your dad for one, despite how much the other kids at school would boast about them. 

In your opinion, you felt like they were overrated. So you didn’t need one this year.

Jordan, however, didn’t seem to catch on, “Nonsense,” She chirped as she waved you off, “You have to have one, little one. Like your Mum said, it’s a tradition.”

“No, no, I… I don’t. I’m fine,” You repeated, shaking your head, “I don’t need one of them.”

“But you have to have one, little one,” Jordan pressed on the subject, not quite ready to give up yet, “Oh! What about a sweets one instead? There’s a new one Haribo has made—you love them, don’t you? Or there’s crisps as well!” 

“No, it’s okay. I really don’t want one, Mama,” You insisted, much to Jordan’s continuous insistence that you needed one, “Please, it’s pointless. You need to save your money.”

Jordan’s brows furrowed, “Don’t be silly, little one. Money isn’t a problem, you can still have a calendar. I’m not having it—I’m getting you one,” Without further word, she proceeded to grab the Shrek designed one, tossing it into the shopping trolley, “You’re not going without out, not on my watch.”

“I… I don’t want it—Mum,” You huffed, looking at Leah somewhat pleadingly with a bit of hope she would jump in and help you out, “Tell her. Please.”

“Jord,” Leah cut in, sharing a knowing look with the woman, “Leave it, she said she doesn’t want one this year.”

Jordan’s jaw flexed as she snatched the Shrek calendar back out of the trolley, “Fine,” She muttered, her voice clipped, “We’ll put it back then.”

Jordan turned away, a bit too quickly. 

Leah winced,  “I think Mama’s just excited for you to have one this year, my girl,” She murmured, stepping closer to soften the tension Jordan had just left hanging in the air.

You shook your head in protest against the idea, “I don’t want one, I don’t need one. Save the money—save it for something else!”

Jordan huffed under her breath, folding the calendar back onto the shelf with a little bit more force than necessary, “Little one, it’s hardly going to break the bank,” She snorted, missing the rising tremor in your voice, “It’s just an advent calendar.”

“I don’t want it!” You snapped, sharper than you meant as your bottom lip trembled, your hands began to become shaky and you could feel your breath getting rigid.

Jordan furrowed her eyebrow in confusion, “What’re you talking about? Everyone deserves an advent calendar, little one.”

“I don’t,” You choked out, your voice breaking, “I’m nothing but a menace. I haven’t been doing well at school, I got into a fight with a kid…” You swallowed hard, feeling yourself getting upset by such a silly little thing, “I never got one before when I… I lived with my dad, I… I don’t need one now.”

“Menace or not, you still deserve an advent calendar,” Jordan blinked rapidly, hurt and confused, and incredibly defensive because she didn’t understand why you were spiralling over chocolate, “You still deserve one, and you’re not changing my mind, little o—”

Jordan froze mid sentence the moment she saw how stiff you had gone.

“I don’t… I don’t want one!” You burst out, all of your emotions inside of you getting too much before it collapsed into a strangled whisper, “I don’t want one…”

Leah seemed to understand straight away, holding one hand up towards Jordan with silent words for her to stay back, “Jord, just… watch Buddy.”

Jordan’s jaw clenched again.

“Hey,” Leah stepped in front of you in a calm and gentle voice, “Hey, hey, breathe. It’s okay, you’re okay,” Her voice was low, controlled and grounding, “Come on, my girl. Let’s go step outside and get some fresh air.”

You nodded hesitantly in agreement, “O… Okay.”

“This way, sweetheart,” Leah murmured, guiding you out of the shop with her arm wrapped around your waist in a protective manner, shielding you from the staring shoppers all while Jordan stood rooted to the spot beside Buddy, who sat in her pushchair, babbling to herself and oblivious of everything else going on.

Jordan watched the two of you disappear through the doors and for a moment, she looked completely lost.

Outside, the cold air bit your cheeks but it helped.

“Just copy me,” Leah whispered, inhaling slowly, “In… and out…”

You followed her instructions, your breathing stuttered before it began to steady.

“Better?” Leah murmured, genuinely concerned as she rested her hand on your shoulder.

“A bit,” You quietly agreed, wiping your face with your sleeve, “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to have a meltdown in the shop. I just… I don’t know, I’m sorry for my outburst.”

“Hey,” Leah shook her head gently, pulling you into her chest, “You don’t need to apologise. It’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed. If you really don’t want an advent calendar then that’s okay, baby. I think Mama was just getting a bit excited.”

You sagged into Leah’s coat, “I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal? It’s just chocolate. Mark never brought me one before ‘cos always said I wasn’t worth it.”

“I know, my girl,” Leah’s arms tightened around you protectively, “But listen to me, yeah? Those Christmases before were never your fault, you weren’t bad and you certainly weren’t undeserving. You were just a child, a baby that deserved so much more than you were given.”

You sniffled, eyes darting to the floor, “Then why didn’t I get it?”

“Becuase Mark didn’t take of you the way he should’ve,” Leah said firmly, not sugarcoating it, but keeping her tone gentle, “But you’re not there anymore, you’re safe with me and Mama, and your baby sister, and we’re going to make sure that Christmas from now on feels different for you, even if does take time to get used to it.”

“I’ve lived with you and Mama for ages now… I don’t know why it’s only just got to me,” You mumbled, ducking your head in confusion.

Leah exhaled a sigh, “Emotions don’t have a timeline, and neither does trauma unfortunately.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, processing her words that Leah always had a way of making things sound less daunting, like they weren’t as overwhelming as they felt, “I don’t want you both to waste money on me. You already do so much. You need to save it.”

Leah frowned softly, brushing your hair back from your face, “Baby… why are you so worried about money?”

“Cos…” You hesitated slightly, “If you and Mama split up then you’ll need it and… I don’t want to make it harder for you.”

Leah’s whole expression shattered in that visible moment, heartbroken at the realisation, “You don’t need to worry about any of that, okay?” She murmured quietly.

She didn’t outright deny anything about the separation but you knew it. Something was definitely wrong.

“Money doesn’t matter, my girl,” Leah pulled back, cupping your cheek and coaxing you to look at her, “We want to show you how much you are loved, and that you are and always will be a part of this family—you deserve nice things just like Buddy does, and you deserve the feel the magic of Christmas. All of the traditions. Even the silly ones.”

You swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as your bottom lip wobbled again, “I… I don’t know,” You whispered, the words barely making it past your throat, “Everything feels different. You and Mama keep acting weird. I’m not stupid, Mum… I know something’s wrong.”

Leah’s breath hitched, just enough that you felt it against your forehead when she pulled you into her chest, “Oh, my girl…” She whispered.

For a second, I thought she might tell you the truth—the whole truth. The thing that your brain had already pieced together through patterns and silence, and the way that neither of them exchanged the three letter word anymore.

But instead, Leah swallowed and steadied herself, choosing her next words carefully, “Sweetheart,” She murmured, stroking your hair, “Me and Mama… we’re just tired. It’s been a long year. But none of that is on you,” She said as she pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“We love you,” Leah whispered, “That hasn’t changed. That won’t change. Not ever.”

“Okay,” You mumbled quietly in agreement, though you still felt some hesitance about her words.

Leah never properly confirmed it, she just carefully stepped away from the conversation before you could press any deeper, “Now…” She cupped your cheek again and forced a bright smile, “I know you don’t want one, but can you please let your Mama buy you one? It would mean the world to her.”

You hesitated, then gave her a small nod in agreement, “Okay, but only if it’s not too expensive,”

“Atta girl,” Leah smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, “It won’t be. I just think that Mama might be more excited about the fact there’s a Shrek one for you,” She teased, her tone light and affectionate.

You pouted, “Can we go home now?”

Leah laughed, draping an arm around your shoulder as she steered you back inside, “Patience my girl. Patience.”

You both walked through the sliding doors as the warm shop air hit your face again, Jordan looked up from where she was pretending to understand Buddy’s incoherent babbling, “There she is,” She said brightly, “Your Mum’s still got half the aisle to inspect, you know.”

The joke landed, sort of. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes but she was trying her hardest—that’s what mattered. You completely missed Leah exchanging the smallest nod in return.

In other words, it was quiet confirmation: keeping things normal… for the girls.

“You can buy me a calendar if you want, Mama,” You mumbled quietly, shoving your hands in your coat pockets.

Jordan’s whole face lit up, “You want one? Really?” Her voice cracked with relief, “Oh, I’m so glad that you changed your mind, little one!”

“Right then, Shrek it is!” Before you could change that decision, Jordan practically bounced over to the variety of calendars and grabbed the Shrek one with a lot more enthusiasm, popping it in the trolley.

Leah watched with a soft, tired smile as she exhaled in relief that things seemed to be going well again.

However, it wasn’t long before you grew bored again.

“Urgh! This is so boring!” You groaned dramatically, “They’re all the same, aren’t they? I’m flippin’ bored!” You whined, bouncing back to your chaotic self like you hadn’t just had an outburst ten minutes prior to being back in the shop.

“Someone clearly isn’t very patient today,” Jordan teased, letting out a small, real laugh.

Leah chuckled, taking over pushing Buddy in her pushchair again as Jordan pushed the trolley, “We won’t be much longer.”

“Urgh,” You huffed, wandering over to a shelf of toys where your curiosity was piqued, “What does this one do?”

“Press it and find out,” Jordan said, her smile a second too slow almost like her mind was somewhere else until you spoke.

“Okay then…” You furrowed her eyebrow in confusion, reaching forward and pressing the button as the music blared aloud, and in the process making you jump half a mile, “Jesus—oh my God. Mama! That was scary!” You exclaimed, holding your hand over your heart.

Jordan burst out laughing at your reaction, while Buddy seemed to find great amusement in the music at least, “Made you jump, huh?” She teased.

“Shut up,” You grumbled, though your lips twitched into a reluctant smile, “Do people actually like these things?”

“So, I take it you don’t want one, then?” Leah teased.

“No!” You were quick to exclaim, “Absolutely not. Not a single chance!” You were dead set against the idea of one, even if Buddy seemed to really like the music.

“Are you sure?” Jordan joked, wiggling her brows.

“I’m positive, Mama. Nope, I definitely don’t want one of them!” You insisted, firm on your decision as you were just relieved it stopped playing the music, much to Buddy’s disappointment instead.

Leah pointed to a display of stockings nearby, her eyes lighting up, “Oh, look at these! How adorable are they?” She was in awe over them as she turned to look in Jordan’s direction, “We have to get them. All four of us can match!” She said without even thinking about what she said.

Jordan hummed in agreement, but her eyes didn’t lift, “Yeah… cute,” She replied, keeping her eyes locked on Buddy instead of Leah, like it was easier to pour affection into someone who couldn’t look back with questions, “Who’s the cutest baby in the world? You are, yes you are!”

“That’s settled then. We’re getting them,” Leah didn’t hesitate to quickly rummage through and find the correct initials for all of you before placing them in the ever-growing shopping trolley. 

Buddy babbled something incoherent in response, but Jordan pretended to understand every single word that she said.

“Is that right, poppet? Wow. You’re full of big opinions today, aren’t you?” Jordan teased, stroking Buddy’s cheek softly, “Do you like the lights in here? They’re so pretty, aren’t they? It looks so warm… and cosy.”

“I don’t think she can understand you that much, Mama,” You snickered in amusement, shaking your head.

“Right then, my girl,” Leah turned her attention back in your direction, “What do you want for Christmas this year? You need to start and think, so you can make your list out for Santa.”

You wrinkled your nose immediately, “Ugh… Santa.”

Jordan ached a brow, amused, “What do you mean by that? He’s a jolly man in red and white that brings you presents!” She slung her arm around your shoulder, and steered you in the direction of more Christmas directions.

“Yeah, I know who he is,” You muttered, folding your arms tight across over your chest, “Fat guy, red suit, and breaks into your house in the middle of the night. Total creep. Also, he never used to come to mine, so forgive me if I’m not exactly his biggest fan.”

Leah’s smile faltered briefly, “Monkey…”

“I don’t care about him, and I definitely don’t like him,” You shrugged, your tone carrying more bite than intended, “Everyone at school used to brag about what Santa left them, and I’d sit there like… cool, I got nothing again. Guess he didn’t like my house.”

“Maybe he just got stuck getting into the house,” Jordan tried to chuckle, though it sounded a little awkward.

“Or maybe he just couldn’t be bothered,” You shot back just as quick, “Either way, me and him have got personal beef.”

Leah’s eyes widened as she tried to lean over to Jordan, “Remind me to hold her back when we take them to visit the grotto,” She whispered, almost certain you would try and fight the man given the opportunity.

Jordan hummed in response, somewhat present in the conversation, “... Noted.”

“I don’t like that Santa fella,” You declared promptly.

“Right then,” Leah began to speak as her gaze softened, “How about you have a think what you would like for Christmas, write it down and then you can give it to one of us instead. How does that sound?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t want anything though.”

Jordan frowned, “You have to have presents to open on Christmas day, little one. You can’t have nothing to open.”

“Why?” Your voice softened, the usual spark dimming as confusion flickered over your face, “It’s not like it’d be the first time.”

Jordan hesitated, her eyes darting to Leah for help, “Well…because it’s Christmas, and everyone deserves them on this very special day.”

“I… I still don't understand,” You murmured, your voice quieter now, “I never used to receive them before. Why didn’t he come before? Was I really that bad?”

Leah crouched down in front of you, her gaze steady and full of warmth, “No, Monkey, you weren’t bad. Not even a little bit.”

You frowned, your arms wrapping around yourself protectively, “Then why now? Did I do something to deserve them this year?”

“You don’t need to do something to deserve them, my girl,” Leah reached out, gently taking your hands in hers, “I think Mama might’ve worded that a bit wrong.”

“Yeah,” Jordan admitted, stretching the back of her neck awkwardly and unsure what exactly to say next in case she messed up again, “Sorry, little one.”

You looked between them, still uncertain about a lot of things, “Oh… okay then.”

Leah’s lips quirked into a playful smile, “It’s just nice to receive them from Santa, you know? This year we’ll leave out milk and cookies for him, maybe even a carrot for Rudolph, and then when you’re asleep, he’ll come and pay a visit. So when we wake up on Christmas morning there’ll be presents waiting under the tree, just for you.”

“Wait, wait… who’s Rudolph, and why is he getting just a carrot? That’s lame!” You exclaimed, unfamiliar with the name, “Why don’t he get cookies like Santa—he seems nice, and that’s not really fair is it?”

“Rudolph is one of Santa’s reindeers that helps him fly his sleigh,” Leah chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, “He’ll need a healthy snack as well, he can’t eat cookies like Santa.”

“Yeah?” Your brow furrowed as the skepticism creeped in, “Well Santa doesn’t deserve cookies if he comes to our house…”

Jordan laughed and shook her head, “He’s not, little one. He’s just… magical. It's part of the fun.”

You kept your arms crossed, not entirely convinced about things, “Yeah, I’m not convinced much there but whatever you say,” You told them both, “I’m still mad at him for not showing up until now though.”

“This tree is perfect,” Leah murmured, hands on her hips and beaming at the new tree standing in the corner of the room, “Oh, I can’t wait to decorate it!”

Jordan raised an eyebrow, “Le, are you sure you want to put it up already? It’s only the middle of November.”

“It’s never too early for Christmas, Jord,” Leah replied, cheerful and determined.

Jordan let out a soft laugh, “You sure about that one?” She teased, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes as watched Leah fuss with the branches.

“I’m positive about it,” Leah said, stubbornly, “The house is going to look so magical when it’s all done… and it’ll be great for both of our girls.”

Turning to look at you with a warm smile, “What do you think about helping me decorate the tree this year, eh? You did such a good job of it last year!”

You hesitated, shifting awkwardly, “Do I have to?”

“Not if you don’t want to,” Leah replied in a gentle tone of voice, “I thought it would be fun, and it might help you get in the Christmas spirit, yeah? We can even put your special baubles on the tree that we brought today.”

Jordan snorted, “Remember how much fun it is when our seven month old is pulling said baubles and lights off the tree, yeah?”

“Don’t be a Grinch, Jord,” Leah shot back playfully, sticking her tongue out.

“What’s a Grinch?” You asked, tilting your head curiously.

There was a collective gasp from both Leah and Jordan but even that sounded different.

 “You mean to tell me all this time, we’ve not shown you one of the greatest Christmas films?” Jordan exclaimed, eyes widening, “We have to watch it now!”

Leah raised an eyebrow, “Don’t you think it’s a bit too early for Christmas films?” She teased, mocking her earlier comment, “It’s only the middle of November…”

“Oh, we’re playing that game are you?” Jordan scoffed, pointing her finger at Leah dramatically, “Says’ the one that wants to put the tree up—we’re watching the Grinch. No arguments. It’s for… educational purposes.”

“Educational purposes,” Leah repeated with a soft laugh, hoping for a second that her eyes flicked towards Jordan and they would share a smile in the way that they usually do—however, Jordan didn’t look back, “Whatever you say, just as long as you don’t complain about me putting the tree up then.”

“You can put the tree up, Le,” Jordan insisted, wasting no time to turn the TV on and sought out the film to watch, “Me and our girls are going to watch the best Christmas movie there is.”

“I think you’ll find that Buddy has taken more of an interest in the lights,” Leah remarked, watching the seven month old, currently mesmorised by the dangling, twinkling lights draped across the tree as her tiny hands tried to reach out for them, “No, no, bubba. Those aren’t for you to pull on now…” She said, scooping Buddy up into her arms before she caused any mischief.

Jordan smirked, amused by the baby’s eagerness, “I give it a week before she’s trying to pull the baubles off the tree.”

“No way,” Leah murmured, gently kissing Buddy’s forehead, “She knows that those aren’t for her to pull on, don’t you, bubba? Mummy’s just trying to decorate the tree so it’ll be all nice and pretty. You just like to look at them, don’t you?”

Buddy, of course, had to get her word in as she babbled something in response, making Leah and Jordan both laugh.

“Here,” Jordan reached for the seven month old, kissing her hair, “I’ll take her. You finish the rest of the tree,” She hesitated for a minute, “It looks wonderful so far.”

“Thanks, babe,” Leah murmured automatically, leaning in for a soft kiss that Jordan met her halfway, but her hand didn’t lift to Leah’s waist like it usually did.

You didn’t notice that, but Leah did.

“Monkey,” Leah called, turning to you where you were curled up on the sofa with your head buried in your phone, “Are you sure you don’t want to come and help decorate the tree? There’s still a fair bit to go.”

“Nah, I’m alright,” You hesitated as your hands fidgeted nervously, “I’ll only just mess it up or something, won’t I?”

Leah’s face softened with concern, “You won’t mess it up, my girl. I’m sure of it.”

“I… I don’t know,” You mumbled, your voice barely audible, “I’ll just make a mess of it—it’s better if you just do it, Mum.”

Jordan glanced over briefly at the sound of your voice, worry flickering across her face but she didn’t step in. She didn’t offer reassurance. Instead, she just watched for a moment and then looked away.

“Hey,” Leah said gently, heart ached at the vulnerability in your voice as she moved to sit beside you as she pulled the box of baubles closer, “You didn’t mess it up last year and you won’t mess up either this year. How about we start small? You can start with the special baubles that we picked out.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, continuing to look at Leah hesitantly.

“I’m positive. We’ll do it together,” Leah smiled warmly, nodding, “Find a special place on the tree for them, you can make it your own, yeah?”

Tentatively, you picked up the shiny bauble with your name etched on it, and with Leah by your side, you found a perfect spot on the tree for it, “Is this alright?”

“Perfect, my girl,” Leah said proudly, draping her arm around your shoulder, “That looks amazing.”

“How much longer do we have to wait in this line?” You grumbled, growing impatient as the minutes ticked by, “It feels like we’ve been here forever!” You added, fidgeting on the spot.

And here was another tradition, of course this was one that you definitely weren’t a fan of—a visit to the grotto to see Santa.

“We’ll be at the front of the line soon enough, sweetheart,” Amanda reassured you, she’d joined you all in the trip, along with Berny to mark the special moment of Buddy meeting the man in red for the first time.

The line to the grotto stretched endlessly, or at least that’s what it felt like. You weren’t a fan of waiting… or being patient, for that matter.

“Patience my girl,” Leah murmured, looking at you with a knowing look.

Jordan laughed, peering up from her phone, “This is our Monkey we’re talking about. I don’t think she has patience.”

“We’re almost there now,” Berny chimed in amusedly, bouncing Buddy gently as she was bundled up against the cold.

You huffed, glancing ahead at the entrance of the grotto, “Why’re they so small?” You asked, speaking your mind without thinking—the small people? Elves. Dressed up in bright costumes  and bustling around, their cheerful expressions and movement made your mood sour, “They’re kinda… low-key terrifying.”

“They’re just in character,” Jordan said, stifling her laughter, “They’re elves, remember? It’s their job to be cheerful… and small.”

“So, you could be one of them, Mama?” You asked, cheekily as you squinted to look at them, not entirely convinced, “They’re a bit freaky though, aren’t they—are people actually that small?”

“Monkey!” Leah hissed, her voice dropping to a sharp whisper though her lips twitched in amusement, “You can’t say things like that. Don’t be rude.”

“I’m just bein’ honest,” You argued, gesturing towards said elves, “They are tiny though, right? Like… freakishly small!”

“Stop it,” Leah shot you a clear warning look.

Amanda cleared her throat, fighting back her own laughter, “Do you know what you want from Santa this year, Monkey?”

“I don’t want anything from that man,” You scrunched your face up in disagreement, “There’s no way I’m telling that creep what I want—did you know he actually sneaks into the house when you’re asleep?”

“Oh, I’ve heard about that…” Amanda said, her tone light and teasing, “But that doesn’t mean you should be afraid of him, though. He needs to know what to get you for Christmas.”

“But it ain’t right though, is it? It’s like… proper weird that I’m sleepin’ and he comes creepin’ around the house like that,” You exclaimed, hands flying around in exasperation, “What right does he have to sneak into the house in the middle of the night? It’s borderline creeper alert!”

You didn’t miss the look that all of the adults exchanged with one another.

“You two might need to be wary that Monkey doesn’t set up traps,” Berny joked, bouncing Buddy to keep her from fussing.

“That’s a great idea, Grandma!” You shrieked, causing a few people to turn around and look at you in amusement, “What? Never seen a kid get excited before? Look away people.”

“Monkey,” Jordan chided you with a knowing look.

“Looks like it’s nearly our turn to go in now,” Leah motioned towards the family in front disappearing into the grotto, “Big smiles!”

“Great,” You murmured with a newfound determination, your face setting into a scowl and you rolled your sleeves up, “Me an’ the fella in red need to have words.”

“Whoa, no… absolutely not!” Leah was quick to interject, grabbing your upper bicep and pulling you back, “I don’t think so. Monkey, you cannot fight Santa.”

You scrunched your face up in confusion, “Why not? He’s the one that left out all of the other years—let me ‘ave him! I can fight him!”

“Absolutely not, no,” Leah told you in a firm tone of voice, “Listen… I know you’re upset about the past, but that still doesn’t mean you can try and fight him. It’s definitely not okay to do that.”

“But, he… forgot me,” You whined in protest.

Leah sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Monkey, I’m being serious on this one. No fighting Santa Clause. Understood?”

“Bet that’s a sentence that you never thought you’d say,” Jordan quipped, amusedly.

“Fine,” You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, “I won’t try to fight Santa.”

When your turn finally came to go into the grotto, Buddy’s reaction was immediate, and as dramatic as a seven-month-old could be in this situation. As soon as her eyes locked on Santa’s jolly face—within seconds of seeing him, she was letting out an ear-piercing wail, and burying her face in Berny’s shoulder, clinging onto her like her life depended on it.

“Oh dear,” Amanda winced, reaching to pat Buddy’s back, “I didn’t expect that reaction…”

“Ob bubba,” Leah cooed, taking your little sister out of Berny’s arms, “It’s okay, he’s not that scary. He’s a nice, friendly and happy man. See? It’s Santa Claus.”

“I don’t think she’s convinced,” Jordan chimed in, “Hey, poppet. It’s okay, Santa Claus is a nice man…”

“I think she’s got the right idea to cry,” You mumbled, and in your defence… you did try and keep your word, but your anger couldn’t be helped—seeing the man with such a joyful expression made you twitch with rage.

“Don’t even think about it, Monkey,” Leah warned, noting your irritation.

You, of course, decided to ignore her and step forward as you jabbed your finger in the man in red’s direction, “Listen ‘ere, mate, yeah?” You started in a scolding tone, “You don’t get to come to my house while sleepin’ you absolute creep—oh, and since we’re also taking notes… I like Shrek and LEGO, so… kapiche?”

“Oh no,” Amanda mumbled, failing to hide her amusement.

“For God sakes,” Leah muttered, quickly handing Buddy to Jordan as she pulled you back, “That’s enough, Menace. Reign it in. Now.”

“I’m not done yet,” You protested weakly.

“Oh, no… you’re definitely done. Let’s go. Right now,” Leah declared, steering you towards the exit, “Keep this up and the only thing you’ll be getting this year will be coal in your stocking.”

You scrunched your face up in confusion, “What’s coal?”

“Never mind,” Leah muttered.

“Well… that trip has been somewhat memorable, hasn’t it?” Jordan remarked, exiting the grotto with a tearful Buddy in her arms.

Leah exhaled a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, “And to think I just wanted a photo of the girl with Santa… is that too much to ask for?”

“What’s so fun about a walk in the woods? It’s freezin’ outside!” You grumbled, leaning against the doorframe of the living room with a scowl etched on your face.

“It’ll be fun,” Leah murmured, finishing up wrapping a last minute Christmas present but the way she said it made it seem like she had zero enthusiasm herself.

“I’m not convinced,” You said, scrunching your face up in disagreement, “Why can’t I stay here?”

It was Christmas eve—which meant yet another tradition. But this time it was a walk, with Leah’s entire family, and you definitely weren’t a fan of the idea.

“Because it’s a family tradition,” Leah sighed, sitting back on her heels and rubbing her temple for a second before pushing herself to stand, “Now stop being grumpy and go get ready. The family wants to see you.”

“I’m not being grumpy,” You huffed, dramatically as you swatted her hand away from your hair, “I want to see them, but there’s gotta be better things to do than walk in bitter temperatures!”

“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic,” Leah teased, reaching down to scoop Buddy up off her play mat, “It’s not that cold outside. Can you at least try and pretend to be happy to see everyone—Buddy’s excited about it, aren’t you, bubba?”

You snorted, glancing at Buddy as she let out a gibberish babble that you had no clue what it meant, “Oh yeah, she sounds thrilled about it. Besides that, she doesn’t even have to walk!”

“What’s all the commotion about?” Jordan asked, appearing from downstairs—she was already wrapped in a hat, scarf and coat, “Don’t tell me you’re still complaining about going out.”

“Mama, help me out ‘ere! Mum’s forcing me to go outside when it’s freezing?” You whined in protest, “I don’t want to go!”

“Well little one, if I have to come on this walk then you certainly do,” Jordan chuckled, reaching for your coat off the peg in the hallway, “Here, put this on—you might be needing this if you’re so convinced that it’ll be freezing, won’t you?”

You pouted in disagreement, “Mama! I don’t want to go. It’s not fair!”

“I’m afraid sometimes we have to do things that we don’t want to, sweetheart,” Jordan murmured, taking Buddy from Leah, “I’ll get Buddy ready to go and get her in the car. Leave you to deal with the grumpy teenager.”

“Oh, thanks for the help,” Leah muttered sarcastically, shaking her head, “Come on, Monkey. Coat and shoes on. We’re already running late. I’m not discussing this further.”

“But… I like being warm,” You mumbled the excuse, crossing your arms over your chest.

“It’s not that cold,” Leah remarked, rolling her eyes as she walked past you into the hallway to grab her own coat, “What’s the problem this year? You usually like our Christmas Eve walks—you, Jacob and Ben always run off ahead of us all.”

“It’s England, it’s always cold, Mum!” You huffed in complaint, “I just… I don’t want to go this year.”

“Look,” Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, “You’re part of this family, therefore you’re coming with us. You’re not staying at home on your own.”

“Fine,” You muttered, stomping your foot as you reluctantly grabbed your trainers that Leah handed you, “But I’m still not happy about it!”

“Oh I’m sure I’ll hear all about it the entire night,” Leah teased, reaching for her car keys, “I wouldn’t expect anything different from my teenager.”

“Race you there, Monkey!” Jacob yelled, sprinting off in front of you.

“Nah!” You shouted in response, trying to catch him up, “I’m gonna beat you first!”

“I’m gonna beat you both, slow pokes!” Ben chimed in, grinning as he raced ahead of the two of you, “Catch up!”

Your family continued to trail through the woods partaking in your annual christmas eve tradition—and you’d even started to come around the idea of being outdoors.

After all, you had always liked hanging out with Jacob and Ben so running around with them wasn’t too bad in the end.

Leah laughed, shaking her head as she watched in amusement, “Well, would you look at that… she’s having fun after all. I knew she would in the end.”

“It was only a matter of time,” Jordan remarked, gently stroking Buddy’s cheek as the eight-month-old infant was wide eyed, and nestled against Jordan’s chest in a baby carrier. 

“She’s a typical teenager, they all seem to be like it,” Amanda chuckled softly, “But at least she’s smiling and laughing now.”

Leah hummed, “Tell me about it—careful, Monkey, or you might slip!”

Her warning was too late as you ran over a sheet of ice, slipping on it and that sent you tumbling to the ground.

“Ow!” You cried in pain, automatically clutching your left knee where you had scraped it.

Leah exhaled a sigh, running her hand through her hair, “Knew it…”

“Muuuuuummy!” You whined out of instinct, your bottom lip wobbling in fright, “It huuuurts!”

“Shit,” Leah swore under her breath, rushing over to you, “I’m coming my girl, hang on a second.”

“Oh… that’s new,” Ben murmured.

“You’re telling me,” Jacob added, exchanging a look with him.

“Lads, she’s scared,” Amanda gave them both a sharp look, “Leave her be…”

Jacob scratched the back of his neck, “Yeah, you’re right,” He said, retreating a step, “Sorry, Mum.”

“It huuuurts,” You whined, continuing to clutch your knee.

“I know it does, Monkey,” Leah soothed, kneeling down in front of you with a soft, genuine smile,”You’re okay, I think you’ve just given yourself a bit of a fright, haven’t you?”

“Shook her up, bless her,” Berny murmured from behind.

“Let’s have a look and inspect the damage,” Leah said, gently rolling your trouser leg up, “Mhm, just as I expected… there’s no saving it, I think we’re going to have to cut it off. What do you reckon, eh, Jord?”

Jordan let out a low whistle, avoiding Leah’s look and focusing on you, “Geesh, little one… that looks nasty. I think your Mum’s right, it’s going to have to be chopped off.”

Your eyes widened in fear, “Noooo! You can’t—I need my leg!”

“I’m just teasing, silly sausage,” Leah grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “It’s just a scrape. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a plaster.”

“Hey! That’s mean! Y… You tricked me!” You whined, pouting miserably.

“I’m sorry, my girl. I couldn’t resist,” Leah replied, mocking your pout, “Come on, up you get. You’re going to be absolutely fine. You just need to walk it off.”

You deepened your pout, crossing your arms, “No.”

Leah raised a brow, “No?”

“It hurts to walk. I don’t wanna…” You muttered stubbornly, bottom lip wobbling for emphasis.

“Oh, is that right, now?” Jordan asked, raising her eyebrow, “How else do you expect to get through the woods?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Dunno. I’ll just… stay ‘ere instead.”

“You want to stay in the woods when it’s cold and freezing?” Leah let out a laugh, sharing an amused look with Jordan that didn’t quite reach her, “You can’t stay here, my girl,” She held her hand out, “Come on, shake it off. You can be brave.”

“Don’t wanna walk,” You repeated, quietly.

“What other solution is there?” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin teased.

You huffed, remaining stubborn with your arms crossed over your chest, “Dunno. Just don’t wanna walk. My knee hurts.”

“Come on, munchkin,” Holly took pity on you, crouching down to a level where you could easily climb on her back, “Hop on.”

“Look at that, Auntie Hol to the rescue,” Leah teased, smiling in amusement.

“Don’t drop me,” You squealed in a panic, clinging to her, “Don’t drop me!”

“Come on now, what do you take me for?” Holly rolled her eyes, laughing slightly, “Like I would ever do that to you now, would I?”

“Yes,” You replied without any hesitation.

Holly scoffed, tightening her grip on your legs to make sure she kept her word, “No faith whatsoever—I promise I won’t drop you, munchkin.”

“You’re a big softie,” Leah teased, shaking her head at Holly as you clung dramatically to her back.

“Oh shush, it’s either that or we’re stuck in the woods,” Holly shot back, hiking you higher with ease, “I didn’t see either of you offering to carry her.”

“Because we know not to give in at the first sign of weakness,” Leah quipped, smirking.

“Or that famous bottom lip,” Jordan added knowingly, bouncing Buddy gently in her carrier, “Besides, I’ve got the baby to carry. I can’t do both.”

“You know she’s going to milk that injury for hot chocolate, right?” Jacob piped up, walking backwards just to see your face.

“Guaranteed,” David chuckled warmly.

“She’s allowed too, given herself a bit of a shock with that fall, didn’t you, sweetheart?” Berny sympathised with a fond smile.

“With marshmallows,” You mumbled from Holly’s shoulder.

“Of course, it’s not the same without them…” Holly teased.

“See?” Jacob pointed out, rolling his eyes.

“It hurts,” You whined dramatically.

“Calm down drama queen, you’re fine… your leg isn’t gonna drop off,” Ben joked, rolling his eyes, “... Yet.”

“Shut up!” You shot back at the lad, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Aye, madam,” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin, nudged your un-injured leg, “So, what’s this I heard about you trying to fight Santa Clause?”

Jacob snorted, “Oh, yeah… I heard about that from Mum—absolutely hilarious!” 

“It certainly was amusing,” Berny laughed, shaking her head.

“God no, don’t remind me. It was… mortifying,” Leah murmured, burying her face in her hands.

“Well, one thing's for sure… you were certainly determined about it, weren’t you?” Amanda said with a knowing glint in her eyes.

“He’s a meanie,” You grumbled from the comfort of resting your head on Holly’s shoulder, feeling the slow exhaustion take over.

“I bet given the chance, she’d definitely do it,” Ben teased.

“Santa one, Monkey nil,” Jacob chimed in.

“Don’t,” Leah muttered, shaking her head, “I had to drag her out of there before she lost it.”

“Are you excited about Christmas this year, Monkey?” David wondered, sparking up the conversation as you all trailed through the woods.

“No… I don’t want Santa comin’ into the house while I’m asleep like a creep!” You denied, shaking your head instantly, “Mum—Mama! You can’t let him in this year!”

“Oh… here we go again…” Leah murmured, exhaling a sigh.

“Not in the mood for another race then?” Ben joked.

You lifted your head up with enough energy to scowl at the older lad, “No!”

As the family bantered around you, your whines got quieter and your grip slackened.

“Uh… is she asleep?” Ben asked, slowing his pace.

Holly tilted her head, craning her neck to try and see, “I can’t tell… is she?”

“Oh, bless her… she’s tuckered herself out,” Berny whispered fondly.

“I’m not surprised, she could literally fall asleep anywhere, couldn’t she?” Jordan, Leah’s cousin noted, patting Buddy’s back as the infant babbled incoherently.

David chuckled, “Just wait until Buddy is old enough to talk, and then they’ll both be running rings around you two.”

“God, don’t remind me…” Leah muttered, though her lips curved into a smile as she watched you sleep.

“So, how are you both really feeling about your first Christmas with two girls this year?” Amanda wondered, 

“I mean…” Jordan’s eyes lingered on you, asleep and holding onto Holly tight, “Excited for them both, but you know… Monkey doesn’t really handle all of the traditions that well, so we don’t want to overwhelm her.”

She was reluctant to even let us buy her an advent calendar,” Leah exhaled a sigh, “I just think that this time of year reminds her of the past… and that prick that abused her, made her feel like she was worthless.”

“Steady on, careful… she might hear you,” Berny warned gently.

Leah clenched her jaw, “I’m so angry with him still—she’s got it in her head that she doesn’t deserve nice things, and that’s all because of him!”

“I know you’re feeling upset by him, but you can’t let him ruin this…” Amanda placed her hand on Leah’s arm, “Just think of the girls.”

“We haven’t told Monkey, but he’s reached out…” Leah admitted, quietly as if she was afraid that you would wake up and hear the conversation.

“You’re joking?” Holly whispered, eyes wide in shock.

“No joke,” Jordan muttered grimly.

“We don’t know what to do,” Leah admitted, feeling out of her depth, “I mean… this could set her back again, couldn’t it?”

“Possibly,” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin remarked, frowning.

“Oh… poor bubba,” Amanda murmured softly, glancing in your direction.

“I’m just… I’m so angry by it, like how dare he get in contact with her!” Leah said, outraged and fuming, “We’ve finally got a good routine going, and she’s happy—sure, there’s blips every once and a while, but… we’re finally getting to a good place, and he’s just going to come along and ruin it.”

“Are you going to tell her?” Holly asked quietly, careful to not disturb you.

Leah exhaled a deep sigh, “I don’t know, she’s sixteen which means that she’s still a minor, right? It’s our job to protect her, isn’t it? I just… I think this would upset her.”

“This probably isn’t the right place to talk about this, she might wake up…” Amanda said, cautiously.

“You’re right,” Leah agreed, her voice tight with worry.

“Focus on tomorrow,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, spoke up, trying to remain positive, “It’s going to Buddy’s first Christmas—you’re making it magical for them both.”

“I hope so,” Leah hummed, hopeful of everything going smoothly, “And just think, this time next year then you’ll have your baby boy. It’ll be nice for Buddy to have a little friend.”

“That’s right, we can’t wait to meet him,” Berny smiled, nodding in agreement, “I bet the two of them will be the best of friends. Just like you guys were, and still are.”

“That feels like ages away yet,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, murmured, resting her hand gently on her bump, “But we’re really looking forward to it.”

“It’ll fly by before you know it. Leah said the same about Buddy, and before we knew it… she was here,” Amanda added with a little smile.

Leah hummed in agreement, “I couldn’t picture life without either of our girls.”

“You two were both made to be mums to your girls,” Holly chimed in, sweetly.

“Thanks, Hol,” Leah said with a soft smile, “I just… I don’t want Monkey to feel too overwhelmed tomorrow, and I know that sometimes,... our family can be a lot.”

“Bubba, everything is going to be fine,” Amanda tried to reassure the best she could, “Monkey’s been around everyone enough now to be comfortable. None of this will be new to her.”

Leah frowned, “I know but she’s been fragile recently…”

“Yeah, but you can’t wrap her up in cotton wool all her life, sis,” Jacob said bluntly.

“I’m aware of that, I just… I’ve only ever wanted her to be happy,” Leah murmured, exhaling a sigh, and running a hand through her hair.

“And it’s normal for you to want that, and you two are doing an amazing job with both of your girls,” Amanda said gently, “But your brother is right, bubba, you can’t wrap her up in cotton wool, and eventually… she’ll find out that he’s reached out.”

“You think we should tell her?” Leah asked, arching her brow.

“I think so,” Berny joined the conversation, “You don’t want her finding out herself…”

“But what if she decides that she wants to see him?” Jordan wondered, frowning.

“You can cross that bridge when it comes to it, but for now… you have to be honest and tell her. It’s better to hear it from you than from him,” Amanda told them both gently.

“Your mum is right, darling. You can’t keep this secret from her,” David added, honestly.

Leah bit her bottom lip, nodding in agreement, “We’ll tell her… after Christmas though—I don’t want any disruption tomorrow, I want her to be happy, and able to open presents without that hanging over her head.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Amanda agreed, “Now—speaking of presents…”

“Mum, please don’t tell me you’ve gone over the top,” Leah groaned, knowing full well that was exactly most likely to happen, “The girls are going to have more than enough to open tomorrow.”

“Nonsense, I’m there Nana, therefore I’m allowed to spoil them,” Amanda waved her off with her hand and a small smile tugging at her lips, “I’ve got their presents wrapped up ready for the big day tomorrow. Would you prefer to take them all back to your house, and open them at yours—or have them at our house? They can have something to open then.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, Leah and Jordan shared a look—though there was still a sense of distance compared to how they would normally act around one another.

“What do you think?” Leah wondered, asking for Jordan’s opinion.

Jordan hummed in thought, “Maybe it would be nice for them to be there at you two’s house, and they can open them with you all there.”

“Yeah, yeah… I think that’s a good idea,” Leah said, nodding in agreement, “And you can see their reactions then.”

“Oh, I think Buddy will solely be more interested in the wrapping paper than the presents,” David joked, reaching forward to gently stroke Buddy’s cheek, “Isn’t that right, petal?”

Buddy in response let out a delightful squeal and waved her arms around, before she continued to go on and babble gibberish words that David pretended to understand.

“That’s right, Santa’s coming tonight to pay a visit to your house and when you wake up… there’ll be lots of presents for you to open,” David animatedly chatted to the eight month old, holding her tiny hand in his own hand, “I know? How exciting is that! You’re going to be absolutely spoiled rotten—you both are!”

“She’s such a Grandads’ girl,” Leah watched the two of them together, smiling fondly.

David met Leah’s gaze with a soft smile, “That’s not a bad thing.”

“You already know that Buddy’s going to have you wrapped around her little finger,” Amanda teased warmly.

“I don’t mind that one bit,” David told her, amused, “If Monkey can be a Nana’s girl then Buddy can be a Grandad’s girl all she likes, isn’t that right, petal?”

Buddy let out another delightful squeal at the sound of David’s voice as her tiny fists flailed in excitement.

“Yep, see? She’s already on my side!” David declared proudly, beaming a smile, “Now all I have to do is get her to support Spurs.”

“Over my dead body,” Leah shot back without a second of hesitation, “There’s only one team in our house, and it’s definitely not that.”

“Agreed,” Jordan added, not amused with that statement, “No daughter of ours will support that club.”

“Spurs?” Ben repeated, pretending to wretch, “That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said, Uncle David!”

“Come on, guys. You know she might actually suit Lilywhite,” Jacob couldn’t help but play along with the running joke, “Better than red and white.”

Leah blinked in disbelief, “I can’t believe we’re having this discussion right now.”

“Agreed!” Holly chimed in, “Arsenal is already in Buddy’s blood.”

“Face it, David. You’re not converting our granddaughter to support the rivals,” Amanda teased, “She might be a Grandad’s girl, but she’ll always support Arsenal.”

“Traitors, the lot of you,” David muttered dramatically, though the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.

“Are we still in the woods?” Your voice piped up, groggy but curious.

Amanda turned, her eyes softening, “Oh, look who’s awake…”

“Yeah, we’re almost at the cafe though,” Leah reassured you from up ahead.

“Hey sleepyhead,” Holly teased, giving your shoulder a squeeze since you were still leaning against her, “Enjoy your nap on my shoulder?”

“It was pretty cosy,” You admitted sheepishly.

“It certainly sounded like that,” Amanda teased gently, having caught your quiet snores.

“Can we still get hot chocolate?” You asked hopeful, blinking up at Leah. 

“We’re heading there now,” Leah confirmed, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“You and your hot chocolate, huh?” David teased, shaking his head.

“It has to have marshmallows, Grandad!” You insisted, lifting your head up from Holly’s shoulder.

“Oh… of course it does—and whipped cream as well, right?” David played along with your demands.

“Duh, otherwise it’s lame…” You said with a shrug, “I’ll go down now. I’m ready to walk…”

“As you wish, my lady,” Holly replied in a posh, polite voice that she always made you laugh as she leaned down, allowing you to climb down, “Down you get then.”

“I can’t wait for the hot chocolate in the cafe!” You exclaimed, eager to try it.

David scoffed, “I happen to think that I make hot chocolate much better than the cafe does… if I do say so myself.”

“Meh,” You deadpanned, biting back a grin.

“Meh?” David gasped, clutching his chest like that single word had just shattered his soul, “My own granddaughter thinks… oh, I am so deeply wounded.”

“Don’t be silly, Grandad!” You giggled.

“Ere’ Monkey!” Jacob got your attention, immediately, “Race you to the cafe?”

“Uh… I don’t think that’s a good idea since you fell—” Leah began as you cut her off.

“You’re on, J!” You beamed a wide smile, “Last one there’s a rotten egg!”

“Alright, well I guess I’ll just talk to myself then,” Leah muttered, shaking her head.

“Chase me, Grandad!” You yelled suddenly, tearing off down the path.

“I’m gonna get you!” David shouted, running after you with surprising energy for a man his age.

Leah slowed her pace, turning to the rest of her family, “You see what I mean? She’s just a child… hearing the news about her dad? That’s going to upset her, and set her back.”

Up ahead, your laughter rang out, “You’re too slow, Grandad! You can’t catch me!” You shot back, sticking your tongue out at him.

“Got you!” David caught up to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and throwing you up in the air, “What was that you were saying that I was too slow, huh? Cheeky Monkey!”

“Agh!” You shrieked, taken back when you were swept off your feet.

“Careful, David. You might drop her!” Amanda panicked, eyes wide in alarm.

David laughed, “She’s alright, I won’t drop her.”

“Dad, careful…” Leah added, her weary eyes watching you both.

“Put me… Put me down—Grandad put me down!” You squealed through fits of laughter.

“Not until you say Grandad’s hot chocolate is the best in the world!” David teased, spinning you around.

“Never!” You declared, clinging onto his shoulder.

“What’re they both like?” Amanda chuckled, shaking her head, “Your Dad is something else sometimes.”

Jordan watched you both up ahead, a real, genuine smile spreading across her features, “She’s so happy right now.”

“Yeah,” Leah’s smile faltered, “But it doesn’t take much to shatter it. That’s why I’m so worried about us telling her.”

“I know you are, bubba,” Amanda looped her arm around Leah’s, “But you can’t keep this from her.”

Leah exhaled a deep sigh, “You’re right, Mum…” She murmured, chewing her bottom lip.

“Mum! Mama!” You suddenly called out to get their attention, your voice full of mock outrage as you raced back towards them now that David finally put you back down on the ground, “Grandads’ proper winding me up!”

“Oh, how dare he do that?” Jordan teased, pretending to be scandalised.

“It’s not fair, he’s being mean!” You whined, scowling at the man.

Leah laughed, swinging her free arm around your shoulder and pulling you close, “That’s just not right is it, my girl? He can’t do that.”

“No, he can’t. He’s being a proper donkey!” You grumbled, the insult slipping off your tongue, “Tell him to stop being a donkey!”

“Ere’ dad, you heard your granddaughter…” Leah turned her gaze towards David, “Stop being a donkey.”

That earnt a chorus of laughter from the family as the whole family gathered inside the cafe—it was cosy and quiet, other than a few odd people dotted around as you the smell of hot chocolate and freshly baked pastries wafted around in the air.

“Ah, the wonderful Williamson-Baker clan!” The owner of the cafe that your family was well-known to, greeted you all like an old family friend, “Merry Christmas—how’re we all?”

“It’s Nobbs too!” You chimed in at the perfect moment, rushing to secure your spot in the booth, in between Jacob and Ben, “I wanna sit there!”

The owner of the cafe laughed, pointing a finger at you, “Of course, of course! How could I forget? The famous Monkey herself.”

“Right, you lot,” Amanda wondered, placing her bag down on a chair like a woman on a mission, “What’re we all havin’?”

“Hot chocolate!” You, Jacob and Ben chorused in perfect unison.

“Why did I even bother to ask,” Amanda joked, shaking her head with a fond smile, “I’m guessing it’s hot chocolate all around?”

“I’ll come up and give you a hand,” Leah offered, already standing before Amanda could argue, “Someone has to make sure you don’t go over the top with the marshmallows.”

While the two of them headed to the counter, Buddy started fussing in her carrier as her tiny fists waved around to make it known that she wanted immediate attention.

“Oh dear, someone’s not happy,” Jordan murmured, loosening the straps on the carrier, “I know poppet, just give Mama a second to get you out.”

“Come here to Grandad, petal,” David coaxed, already holding out his arms with a soft, practiced smile.

Jordan carefully lifted your eight month old baby sister out and passed her over to the man. The second Buddy settled on David’s lap, the fussing stopped immediately as she blinked up at him with wide, blue eyes studying his face.

“That’s better, isn’t it?” David chuckled, gently bouncing her on his knee, “Hi, it’s me. It’s Grandad—can you say Grandad? Say Grandad!”

Jacob snorted, “Dad, she’s eight months old, she’s pretty tight-lipped at the moment about anything.”

Buddy wasn’t bothered with words as she flashed a wide, gummy grin and latched onto David's t-shirt with sheer determination.

“Oi, cheeky,” David laughed, trying to peel her hand away without much luck, “Crikey, for an infant, you sure have got a tight grip, haven’t you?”

That only earned him a pure squeal of delight. Buddy kicked her legs furiously against his lap, her gummy smile stretching wide as she attempted to stuff her fist in her mouth.

“Grandads’ girl,” Leah murmured, watching from afar at the cafe counter.

Amanda followed Leah’s gaze, smiling in amusement as she balanced the mugs on the tray, “Grandad’s girl, indeed,” She agreed warmly, softening her voice and shifting ever so slightly, “Bubba… is everything okay between you and Jord?”

Leah’s shoulders stiffened before she could stop herself, “Yeah,” She replied, a little too fast, forcing a smile as she reached for the tray, “Yeah, Mum. Everything’s fine.”

Amanda didn’t push any further, but the knowing look she gave Leah said she wasn’t convinced in the slightest.

“Monks’!” Jacob exclaimed all of a sudden, drumming his hands on the table, “When you come around tomorrow then we have to have a game of Fifa!”

You beamed your usual cheeky grin, “You’re on… but only if you promise not to cry when you lose though—Mama! Can I have loads of whipped cream, and marshmallows?” You asked Jordan, not giving Jacob the chance to quip back with something sarcastic.

“Cream and marshmallows?” Jordan repeated, raising her eyebrow, “I don’t know, little one. That seems like a definite recipe for a sugar rush.”

You clasped your hands together dramatically, “Come on, Mama! It’s Christmas!”

“Oh, so that’s your argument?” Jordan leaned her chin on her hand, pretending to mull it over, “I don’t know…”

With absolutely no patience at all, you swivelled your attention to Leah, shouting to her across the cafe, “Mum! Mum! Can I have cream and marshmallows? Mama’s taking forever to answer!”

“Monkey!” Berny chided lightly, shaking her head, “We don’t shout indoors, remember?”

“Sorry, Grandma” You sheepishly apologised, ducking down in your spot. And then as quick as anything, you sprang back up to get an answer from Jordan, “Can I then, Mama?”

Jordan gawked at you, half-offended and half-laughing, “Did you just skip me and go straight to your mum for an answer?”

“Duh, you’re bein’ slow!” You said, full of attitude.

“Hey, Monkey. Don’t be rude,” Leah scolded gently, shaking her head with a mixture of mild amusement and exasperation.

“I’m not being rude!” You protested, leaning forward to balance on your knees with your hands resting on the table, “But Mama is taking forever to agree—I figured it would be easier to go to you for an answer! So can I?”

“You little—!” Jordan muttered, her patience clearly being tested, “You know what? Fine, alright but if you start bouncing later and refuse to go to sleep then you're your Mum’s problem to deal with.”

Leah had perfect timing to return with Amanda, with two trays stacked with mugs of hot chocolate and warm pastries, “Oh cheers, Jord. Nice one there,” She muttered, setting the tray down, “You know full well that she’s not bound to sleep tonight if she has that much sugar.”

“Alright, children,” Amanda teased, passing out the steaming mugs, “Behave yourselves around these. They're scalding hot.”

You were much too keen to eat the marshmallows to pay attention to Amanda’s words, half-way through piling through before Leah even had a chance to sit down, “Ow—hot!” You whined, pitifully.

Leah tutted, shaking her head, “Monkey, Nana did just warn you it would be hot.”

“Classic Monkey,” Ben snickered, shaking his head.

“It’s hot,” You whined pitifully, using your sleeve to wipe your mouth, “Now my tongue hurts.”

“It’s going to be, silly girl—ah, don’t do that… you’ll make a muck of your hoodie doing that,” Leah caught you in the act, gently removing your hand, “Use a napkin instead!”

“Tomorrow, J… “ Ben leaned forward across the table, gesturing wildly with his hands, “We’ll have that match and it’ll prove that I’m better. You’ll see.”

Jacob snorted into his drink, “Nah mate, I’m telling you… you don’t stand a chance.”

The cafe was loud and full of ominous chatter—most of the customers had long since left, and now it was just your family accompanying the cosy space of two tables pushed together. The fairy lights twinkled faintly against the windows, Buddy’s squeals echoed louder than the Christmas playlist coming from the speakers, and the warm smell of coffee and cinnamon hung heavy in the air.

Everyone seemed caught up in the easy chaos of being together.

“Seriously? Half of the time you’re still playing with auto-defending on. That doesn’t even count,” Ben pointed out, smirking.

“It does count…” Jacob rolled his eyes, “And I’m far better at penalties!”

“Not a chance,” Ben shot back, grinning, “I bet even Monkey could score a few past you.”

Jacob groaned dramatically, leaning back, “Well we’ll find out tomorrow, won’t we? We’ll see what happens.”

While their bickering filled one corner, Holly was bouncing Buddy on her knee, who had her eyes solely fixed on the sparkly gold hoops dangling from Holly’s ear, “Ah, ah… no, no, you can’t grab that earring,” She murmured, laughing softly and gently catching Buddy’s hand mid-swipe before your baby sister had chance to yank them.

“She’s got an eye for sparkly things,” Berny said, smiling fondly as she rubbed Buddy’s cheek.

“Well, you needn’t think you’re stealing my jewellery, you little magpie,” Holly teased, pulling a silly face, “My gold hoops are mine to keep. Hands off.”

Buddy let out a loud squeal that startled Jacob mid-sentence, his head whipping round to stare at the infant accusingly, “You’ve got loud opinions for such a small person.”

You were distant in the cafe, staring at the empty mug in front of you. The chatter around the table blurred together until it wasn’t words anymore, just a jumble of sound pressing in from every direction. Everyone seemed to be laughing, teasing and being just… happy. It should’ve been normal, even comforting but instead your brain was working overtime—catching every voice, every clatter of a mug, every squeal from your little sister.

It was almost like you were trying to watch ten films at once, all playing at full volume. You weren’t able to tune any of it out, and the scene felt too bright… too loud, and too much to handle. 

You were just sitting there frozen, unable to pick where to look with the feeling of yourself slipping further away as time went on.

“Look at that gummy grin,” Berny cooed, lightly pinching Buddy’s cheek, “I think it’s a replica of her big sisters’... the one when she’s up to no good, isn’t that right, Monkey?”

“... Huh?” You blinked, pulled out of your thoughts.

“We were saying that Buddy’s smile looks just like yours when you’re up to no good,” Holly explained with a grin, “What d’you reckon?”

Leah, of course, ever the observant one noticed your distance first, “Monkey, what’s wrong?”

“Uh…” You didn’t quite know how to answer as your chest felt thick and the words felt far away.

You couldn’t answer that. You didn’t know.

“I… I don’t know,” You admitted, your bottom lip wobbling. 

“Come here, darling,” Leah’s expression softened, opening her arms wide and it didn’t take you a split second before you shuffled off the bench on the other side of the table, and maneuvered your way into Leah’s lap—providing safety and warmth like she normally does.

“Someone seems to be getting tired,” Amanda noted from where she sat, in the midst of conversion with Jordan, Leah’s cousin, as they talked about Jordan’s baby due next year.

Leah hummed in agreement, wrapping her arms around you, “I think that’s becoming the case. It’s been a very long day, hasn’t it?”

“M’ not tired,” You mumbled, resting your head on her shoulder.

“I don’t think that’s true, baby. You’ve gone quiet,” Leah teased in a gentle tone of voice, “You are tired, aren’t you?”

You shook your head in disagreement, “Nooo.”

“Oh, and there’s that famous whine that confirms it,” Leah grinned, teasingly, “Alright, I get it. You’ve had a long day, and it’s all a lot to deal with, huh?”

“It’s just… loud, and everyone’s talking. And I don’t know who to look at first,” You mumbled, trying to keep your eyes open as the exhaustion began to seep through.

“Hey, it’s okay, my girl. It’s alright…” Leah reassured you, rocking you gently side to side, “I want you to take one big deep breath, and just… listen to my heart, alright? Can you do that for me?”

“Uh huh,” You murmured, your hand finding its way to fiddle with Leah’s necklace chain like you always did in moments like this.

You took a big breath, and listened hard to hear Leah’s heartbeat, helping to calm the storm inside of your head.

“There we go,” Leah said in a soft soothing voice, “Is that helping?”

You didn’t have the energy to muster a response, so you just nodded solemnly.

“What’s going on?” Jordan questioned, concerned as she furrowed her eyebrows, “Are you alright, little one?”

“She’ll be okay,” Leah murmured, keeping her gaze fixed on solely you as she brushed her hand through your hair to calm you down, “I think… that brain is working overtime tonight, isn’t it? There’s too much noise and too many people. It’s all a bit too much, hmm?”

You nodded slowly against her shoulder again, your fingers remaining curled around the chain of her necklace, “Mhm.”

“You’re doing so well, my girl,” Leah said quietly, pressing a kiss to your temple, “Just a bit longer, and then we’ll go home. We can get into our PJ’s, and put some milk and cookies out, and a carrot for Rudolph. Then we can get cosy and watch a film under the blanket, yeah?”

That sparked a reaction from you, “Santa doesn’t deserve cookies!”

“No? I thought everyone deserves cookies,” Leah chuckled in amusement.

“Not him!” You insisted, scowling at the idea, “He’s a mean man!”

“Alright, alright,” Leah smiled, shaking her head, “We’ll skip Santa’s share and just have a quiet night, how does that sound?”

“Yikes, it seems like Santa’s a touchy topic,” Holly teased from across the table, Buddy still resting on her lap and trying to grab Holly’s hair, “Ow—what’d we talk about, madam? You can’t pull my hair like that, cheeky girl.”

Jordan glanced over from where she was still deep in conversation with David, caught the sight of you curled up, “Oh, you’re telling us. I don’t think we’ll be heading to the grotto any time soon.”

“Santa traditions have gone right out of the window, eh?” Ben chimed in, overhearing the conversation.

“I hate him!” You growled, baring your teeth to show your clear dislike for the man in red and white, “He’s a fu—”

“Ah, ah, no we’re not saying words like that,” Leah chided, shaking her head, “We’re going to go home and have a cosy night. There’s no need to get worked up, Monkey.”

Jacob snickered in amusement, “Well… she’s clear on her opinion at least.”

“She doing okay now?” Jordan peered closer, frowning as she noticed you seemed a lot more quiet.

“She’s fine,” Leah reassured quietly, stroking your hair, “Bit overwhelmed, that’s all. There’s too much going on.”

Jordan hummed in understanding, “Do you want to head home now?”

Leah glanced at the time and nodded, “I think that might be best.”

“I mean, this one looks like she’s about to fall asleep,” Holly noted, teasingly as she watched you try and fight to stay awake, “Buddy’s more alert than her.”

“Leave her be,” Amanda chuckled, leaning forward to brush a hair out of your face, “You’ve had a long day, haven’t you?”

“Right, come on then… let’s head back to the car,” Leah murmured, doing her best to move off the chair with you still clinging to her, “I can see that you’re not in the mood to walk now, are you?”

The struggle to keep your eyes open was too real, managing a brief nod while resting against Leah’s shoulder, “M’ not doing that.”

Leah chuckled, grateful for Jordan’s help to adjust her coat around her without disturbing you too much, “Well it's a good job I’ve got you then. I’m not letting you go.”

“Oh look at her, he’s absolutely shattered, bless her,” Berny piped in, watching you with a fond smile.

“M’ not tired,” You barely mustered even simple words, preferring to succumb to the warmth that Leah’s shoulder provided.

Ben snorted, “That’s the biggest fib if I’ve ever heard one.”

You were far too exhausted to even attempt to give him a response like you usually would, there were quiet murmurs around you of the adults having a conversation around you. Jordan carried Buddy in her carrier, as Leah held you close in her arms.

There was a faint crunch of leaves and the bitter icy cold harsh against your cheeks.

“M’ cold,” Your teeth chattered, the cold air outside was a vast difference to the stuffy warmth inside the cafe, “I… I don’t like it.”

“I know you don’t but it won’t be long and you’ll be in the car soon enough, sleepy girl,” Leah explained in her usual gentle tone of voice, “Just a bit longer.”

You huffed in disagreement, “Too long to wait still.”

“You’re not very good at being patient, are you?” Leah teased, pressing a soft kiss to the root of your hair, “We’ll be there soon enough.”

Ten minutes later, Leah’s words were truthful as you left the woodlands area to return to the cars that you all arrived in.

“See? I told you it wouldn’t be long,” Leah murmured, fishing in her pocket to retrieve her car keys to unlock the vehicle, before gently placing you down on the ground, “Down you go. Go say goodbye to the family—”

“Do I have too?” Your voice came out sounding something like a small whine, “I want to stay longer with them…”

“You were ready to fall asleep less than ten minutes ago,” Amanda noted, smiling in amusement.

Leah hummed in agreement, “Nana’s right, it’s a forty minute drive back home and it’ll be almost time for bed.”

“But…” You began to complain in disagreement.

“We’ll see them tomorrow, remember?” Jordan reminded you, opening the back door of the car and carefully sliding your eight month old sister out of her carrier, who let out a faint squeal of protest at the sudden change, “Oh, I know you don’t like your car seat much. I know, I know… it’s freezing but you’ll be warm soon, poppet.”

“Oo, don’t you look so snug, sweetheart?” Berny peeking in through the open door, “See you tomorrow when Santa will have been, and you’ll have presents to open.”

You tensed for a minute at the mention of the man that you had a personal grudge with, “Santa’s stupid!”

“Monkey…” Leah chided, though there was a hint of amusement in her voice, “We’ve been over this, Santa isn’t a horrible man. He’s kind, and he’ll bring you presents, remember?”

“Nope!” You scrunched your face up in protest, “He’s horrible!”

David chuckled, leaning his head into the car to press a gentle kiss to Buddy’s head, “I don’t think you’re going to persuade her differently. Grandad will see you tomorrow, petal… “ Before turning to you with a kind smile, “And you, sweetheart. Be good for your Mums. Do I… get a hug?”

You bit your bottom lip, hesitating for a moment before you reached out tentatively, “Bye, Grandad.”

“Right, into the car, Monkey. We need to get you both back home and get ready for bed,” Leah murmured, holding the back door open for you to climb in.

“Bye, Nana!” You weren’t quite ready to get in the car yet as you turned, wrapping both of your arms around Amanda, “See you tomorrow! Love you!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweet girl. Sweet  dreams,” Amanda's face softened, hugging you back just as tight, “You listen to your Mums’ and get a decent night's sleep, remember Santa won’t come if you’re awake.”

“Santa's rude, I don’t want him to come…” You mumbled into her scarf, your words barely decipherable but it still made everyone else laugh.

Jacob smirked, shoving his hands in his pockets to try and keep warm, “So you keep on saying. See you tomorrow, Monkey—don’t forget that game of Fifa!”

“I’ll beat you!” You told him confidently, pulling back.

“Sounds like that man’s definitely made an enemy of her,” Holly leaned in, whispering in Leah’s ear, “Good job he’s not real, eh?” She added.

Leah laughed, shaking her head, “I’d say so.”

“See you tomorrow darling girl,” Berny smiled, wrapping her arm around you and pulling you in close, “You make sure you get a good night's sleep so you’ll be ready for tomorrow's festivities.”

You huffed, slouching your shoulders, “Sleep is so borin’ though you don’t do anything other than lie there, and…”

“Sleep?” Ben joked, smirking in amusement, “Funny that, I’d have never thought it. What would you rather do, handstands?”

“Duh! That would be a lot better than sleepin’,” You replied, blunt as anything.

“You need to sleep so you have all the energy to run around all day long,” Holly teased, nudging your shoulder playfully, “Aye, trouble. Do I get a hug? I mean, I did give you a piggyback in the woods. Even if you fell asleep on me.”

“That just means that your shoulder is comfortable for her, love,” Berny chimed in, smiling fondly.

You exhaled a deep sigh, like it was a chore, “If I must…”

“Oi, cheeky,” Holly gasped in outrage, “Right then, I’ll remember that for the next time you want a piggyback.”

“Nooooo!” You exclaimed, flinging your arms around the older woman, “Buh-bye! Can we go now? It’s cold, and I don’t want to turn into a snowman!”

“Forget about us lot then?” Jordan, Leah’s older cousin, joked with a playful smile.

You huffed, spinning around to face the remainder of your family—there were a lot of them, and you couldn’t even remember some of their names, “Bye! There I said it? Can I go home now?”

“Changes her mind like the wind,” Leah’s uncle joked in amusement, seeing the funny side of it, “See you tomorrow, trouble!”

“Monkey,” Leah chided, though the corners of her mouth twitched as she tried hard to not laugh and still look stern.

You huffed, and slouched your shoulders, “What?”

“You know that,” Leah remained with the same expression, “That was rude to say it like that, and that’s not how to say goodbye to family, is it?”

“But I still said it, Mum…” You grumbled, rolling your eyes.

Leah’s aunt laughed, shaking her head, “Don’t worry about it, Le. We know she didn’t mean it. She’s cold and tired, best take the poor girl home to bed.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Leah sighed but smiled, slipping an arm around you, “Come on, trouble. Time to go home, let’s get you in the car before you turn into an icicle.”

“I told you I was cold!” You muttered, climbing into the back of the car beside Buddy, who was wide-eyed and curious.

“See you tomorrow, bubba,” Amand exchanged a hug with Leah, “Now get my granddaughters to bed before they freeze in the poor cold.”

“Your mums’ right, my lovely. They both need their beds,” Berny chimed in.

“Consider me told then,” Leah smiled faintly, “See you all tomorrow for Christmas.”

“Bye, guys!” Jordan waved to your family, dipping into the drivers’ seat, “See you again tomorrow!”

The car doors shut one by one, sealing out the winter chill and muffling the laughter of your family outside. Leah climbed into the passenger seat with a quiet exhale, sounding a lot more drained than relieved, rubbing her hands together while Jordan started the engine.

“Heating’s on,” Jordan muttered, adjusting the dial with her eyes fixed straight ahead, “Should warm up in a minute.”

“Okay,” Leah replied, short and clipped as she stared out of the window.

A Christmas song trickled quietly from the speakers, Leah let out a small noise of recognition but it was nothing more than barely a hum, lacking any real enthusiasm she’d had over the past years.

You were slumped in the backseat, your coat half zipped with your cheeks pressed to the window as you glanced at the Christmas lights blur by—one thing that you did love about Christmas.

“You still awake back there, sleepyhead?” Jordan asked, glancing at you briefly in the rearview mirror in a gentle tone, though it was still somewhat flat around the edges.

“M’not sleep yet,” You mumbled, though the way the words slurred together gave them both a clear indication of how tired you truly felt.

Leah turned slightly in her seat, offering a tired smile over her shoulder, “Are you sure about that? You’re barely keeping your eyes open, baby.”

“M’fine,” You blinked slowly, stifling a yawn, “Just… resting my eyes.”

“Sure,” Jordan let out a faint breath that was almost a laugh, “And I’m the Queen of England.”

“Then where’s your crown?” You shot back weakly, though your voice sounded muffled against your coat collar.

Leah’s lips twitched into a ghost of a smile that didn’t linger, “She’s got you there.”

“Yeah,” Jordan murmured, keeping her eyes fixed on the road, “Still cheeky even when she’s half asleep.”

You hummed faintly in response, already half asleep with the soft music and the quiet hum of the car lulling you further into the succumbs of sleep.

Leah glanced back one more time, making sure you were properly out before speaking again, “That didn’t take long,” She murmured, more to herself than Jordan.

Instead of reaching for Jordan’s hand like normal, she folded hers tightly in her lap.

There was a tense beat of silence between the two of them.

“Can you believe tomorrow’s Christmas, already?” Leah asked quietly, still not looking at Jordan, “The girls are going to love it.”

“Yeah,” Jordan agreed, eyes fixed on the road, “Buddy definitely will.”

“Monkey too,” Leah added quickly, almost defensively, “Even if she absolutely detests everything about good ol’ Santa Claus.”

Jordan huffed a small, tired laugh, “She’ll get over it.”

Leah nodded, but the air between the two of them remained heavy—the conversation left unfinished, thick in the space the way their laughter used to.

“She’s stubborn,” Jordan added after a moment, but it wasn’t considered playful—merely just an observation, “She always has been.”

“Mhm,” Leah mumbled, staring out of the window, “She gets it from somewhere.”

“She does,” Jordan responded briefly in acknowledgment, her eyes fixed solely on the road ahead with both of them sitting in the glow of the dashboard lights—a stark comparison to the two people who once fit perfectly together.

And now they were just trying to remember how.

“Back home, safe and sound,” Jordan mumbled, pulling into the driveway even though her voice sounded distant. She turned off the ignition, staring at the dashboard for a second longer than needed.

Leah let out a quiet exhale, glancing back at you in the rear seat with your mouth slightly open and she was convinced you were still fast asleep, “Something tells me we should probably skip the film,” She said, her tone soft but flat, “We should put them both to bed.”

“Yeah,” Jordan agreed quickly, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m not waking Monkey up. You… you want to get Buddy, or should I?”

“I’ll get her,” Leah said, having already unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out the passenger seat to pick Buddy up out of her carseat.

However, the second Jordan opened your door, your eyes flickered open, “Nooo, I wanna watch the film,” You mumbled, your voice was sleepy but still defiant.

“And here I thought you were asleep,” Jordan said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes, “Out you get, we’re home now.”

“I am! I’m just… awake now,” You insisted, rubbing your eyes, “Can we please watch a film? I don’t want to go to bed yet.”

Leah gave a tiny huff through her nose, “We’ll see,” She murmured, lifting Buddy with practiced hands, “Inside first and PJ’s on, little elf.”

“I’m not an elf,” You whined, your bottom lip jutting out as you trudged inside the house, that had the faint smell of cookies lingering from earlier when you’d baked them with Leah. 

“You’re not?” Jordan asked, hanging her coat up without so much as looking over, “Then what are you?”

“Umm… the Grinch!” You declared dramatically, spinning around to face her, “He doesn’t like Christmas—like me!”

“That does make sense,” Leah muttered, managing the ghost of a smile, “The grumpiest little Grinch in London, eh?”

“Muuuuuuum!” You groaned, half laughing, half indignant.

“Go on, upstairs and PJ’s on. Then we’ll see about the film,” Leah said, pointing towards the stairs with a tired look in her eyes.

You huffed in disagreement, but went upstairs anyway, rummaging through your drawers to seek out your new Christmas pyjamas. You threw them on without much care, before rushing back down the stairs just in time to see Leah setting out a glass of milk, a plate of cookies, and of course a carrot for the reindeer.

“I don’t want to give Santa cookies!” You exclaimed, outraged as you folded your arms.

Leah turned, suppressing a smile at your sulky frown, “Listen…” She began, brushing hair from your face, “If you don’t want to give them to Santa then you can eat them yourself. But I think it would be nice to at least leave a glass of milk, I mean… think about it, the poor fella’s working overtime tonight.”

“Really?” You asked, perking up immediately at the thought.

“If it makes you happy,” Leah answered gently, but her eyes flicked towards the staircase, waiting for Jordan.

Jordan wasn’t in sight—making herself useful settling Buddy down for the night in her cot.

“Yes!” You giggled, snatching one from the plate in front of you and climbing onto the sofa beside her, “Think of it this way—I’m helping Santa not get diabetes.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Leah chuckled, shaking her head although it didn’t sound like her usual laugh,  “That’s very considerate of you, Monkey.”

“Exactly!” You grinned smugly, pulling the blanket tight around you, “Can we watch the film now? You promised!”

“I didn’t promise anything—” Leah began to speak, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Yes you did!” You shot back instantly, “You said if I put my PJ’s on then we’ll see… and I did that! So that’s a promise.”

Leah exhaled a tired, weary sigh—it was one that you were used to hearing when you’d been whining about something for an hour straight, “That isn’t the same as a promise, my girl,” She murmured, brushing her hand through your hair, “It just meant… we’d see.”

“But I did it and now I want to watch the film,” You argued, entirely serious.

“What you want, doesn’t always get, Monkey. You know that,” Leah’s tone cooled so slightly, “And with this current cheek, I’m leaning towards no. Bed, not film.”

Your face fell instantly, “But you said—”

Right then, Jordan came down the stairs, cradling Buddy in her arms, “What’s going on?”

Leah frowned, “I thought you were putting her down for the night?”

“Yeah, I tried that,” Jordan murmured, exhaling a small, matching tired sigh, “As soon as I laid her down, she woke up again and she just wouldn’t settle—what’s all the shouting about?”

“Mum promised I could watch a film but now she’s saying I have to go to stupid bed!” You whined, stomping your foot in protest.

Leah raised her eyebrow, “Monkey, don’t start.”

Jordan shifted Buddy onto her hip, frowning slightly, “Le… what’s happened?”

“She’s twisting my words,” Leah didn’t take her eyes off you, “I said we’d see if she got her PJs on. That isn’t a promise. And after the cheek I’ve just had? No. She’s going to bed.”

“That’s not fair!” You cried, sitting forward indignantly, “I did everything you said! You’re just being mean!”

“Monkey,” Leah warned, her jaw tightening, “I am not going over this again. Enough.”

Jordan hesitated, glancing between the two of you. Normally, she would step in with a casual smile, smooth it over and make everything better—but tonight, she looked worn down too, “Leah…” She murmured, gently bouncing Buddy as she fussed, “It’s Christmas Eve. Maybe she can have half an hour of the film?”

Leah blinked at her, not angry but hurt that she had been undermined for the fiftieth time, “I just think she’s overtired,” She said lowly, keeping her eyes on Jordan, “Everything has been a battle today.”

“I know,” Jordan murmured, “But she’ll settle if we just give her this one thing.”

There was a beat of silence.

Before Leah leaned back against the sofa, defeated as she ran her hand over her face, “... Fine. Half an hour.”

Your entire face lit up in glee, “Yes! See, Mum? You did promise!”

“I didn’t,” Leah corrected quietly, “But… go on. Sit down.”

You bounced onto the sofa excitedly, already tugging the blanket up to your chin. Jordan flashed you a small, tired smile as she settled beside you.

Buddy let out a tiny fuss from Jordan’s arms.

“Ooh, come here, bubba,” Leah murmured, stretching her arms out, “You just want cuddles from Mummy, hmm?”

Jordan hesitated for the smallest second before passing your baby sister over, their fingers not quite brushing. Leah barely noticed, already adjusting Buddy against her chest.

You shuffled in closer, tucked right between them while Buddy sucked on her dummy, clutching her muslin cloth with a tight grip.

“Right,” Jordan said, reaching for the remote, “What are we watching then?”

“Grinch!” You shouted immediately.

“Again?” Jordan groaned playfully, leaning her head back dramatically, “Of course we are. I think I preferred it when we were watching Shrek on repeat, little one.”

“That’s your fault,” Leah said, kissing the top of your baby sister’s head, “Ever since you showed it to her, she’s been obsessed.”

“But what would I wear?” You recited the words to the film, absorbed in it entirely, “Four o’clock, wallow in self-pity…”

Leah’s lips twitched, a ghost of a previous smile, “And she’s hooked.”

Jordan glanced at Leah, trying for a smile, which to her surprise, Leah gave her one back though it was more polite and thin—the kind of smile they shared just to pretend like everything is fine for yours and Buddy’s sake.

“Our girl just knows a good classic,” Jordan replied, slipping an arm around you and pulling you close, “Isn’t that right, Monkey?”

“Shh! You’re ruining the best bit!” You hissed, scowling at the two of them.

Jordan raised her hands in mock surrender, “Sorry, your majesty.”

“That told us,” Leah whispered in amusement, though there was a faint tiredness around the edges unlike usual.

Half an hour later, exactly the amount of time Leah had begrudgingly allowed—Buddy was already fast asleep upstairs in her cot  and you were sprawled across the sofa, your head in Leah’s lap while your eyelids drooping as you continued to fight your own exhaustion.

“Alright, my little Grinch,” Leah murmured, stretching her arm along the back of the sofa, “Half an hour’s up. Time for bed now.”

Your head snapped up instantly, “Noooo! Come on, Mum. It’s Christmas Eve!” You wailed, clutching the blanket dramatically, “Please, just ten more minutes.”

“Nope,” Leah didn’t bat an eye at your whining, “I already let you have thirty even when you were being cheeky—it’s bedtime now.”

“Mama!” You gasped, whipping your head towards Jordan who had just come back downstairs from putting Buddy down for the night, “Tell ‘er—! I want more time!”

“Umm,” Jordan mumbled, hesitant and already sensing a trap.

Leah shot her a look—a look that very clearly translated to something along the lines of telling her to not even think about it caving to your demands.

Jordan exhaled a tired sigh, “Your Mum is right, little one. We’ve been generous and given you half an hour, but now it’s bedtime. Otherwise Santa won’t come, will he?”

“I hate Santa,” You grumbled, wrinkling your nose, “An’... An’ I’m not even that tired!”

“I find that hard to believe when you can barely keep your eyes open right now,” Jordan remarked knowingly, “Come on, little one. Up to bed.”

“Yeah, but… still…” You mumbled, trying to find a way out of going to bed.

Leah clicked her tongue, shaking her head, “Come on, Monkey. No more wasting time,” She stated firmly, “Upstairs, brush your teeth and bed, please.”

“But I won’t be able to sleep!” You argued, letting out a dramatic groan, “What’s the point when I’ll just lay there and not sleep?”

“Well,” Leah replied, her tone even, “You can at least try, can’t you?”

“Why?” You shot back, though your tone had softened into more of a pout than true defiance.

Leah exhaled a sigh, though there was a faint smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, “We’re not having this battle again, Monkey. It’s going to be a long, busy day tomorrow… and you’re going to need all the sleep you can get.”

You huffed, “But—”

“Listen to your Mum, Monkey,” Jordan cut you off before Leah’s patience wore thin, “Bedtime.”

“Fine,” You muttered, reluctantly dragging yourself off the sofa.

“And don’t forget to brush your teeth either,” Leah called after you as you trudged up the stairs.

“Yeah, yeah…” You grumbled back, already halfway up the first step.

Jordan let out a soft breath once you were out of sight, “Well… that was easier than expected.”

“Don’t speak too soon,” Leah replied flatly, “She’s not asleep yet.”

Of course, ten minutes later as the two of them were crouched by the tree, carefully setting out the presents, your voice rang out from upstairs, “Muuuuum! I can’t sleep!”

Jordan froze for a moment in the middle of placing a present down as she closed her eyes in defeat, “Don’t say it,” She muttered, pointing at Leah without looking,  “Do not say it.”

Leah smirked, already standing up, “I told you so.”

“You just had to say it,” Jordan huffed, dramatically flopping back onto her heels, “Fine, you go handle miss wide awake and I’ll keep playing Santa.”

“Don’t forget to drink the milk,” Leah teased on her way upstairs.

“Mum!” You shouted again, louder this time.

“Monkey,” Leah whispered as she cracked your door open and peeked in, “Be quiet and stop shouting or else you’re going to wake your sister up. What’s the matter?”

You huffed, sitting up in bed with your phone in hand and the duvet somehow half hanging off the mattress, “I’m not tired! I tried to sleep and it’s no use—I can’t do it!”

“Maybe,” Leah said pointedly, walking in and plucking the phone out of your hands, “It would help if you weren’t on this, hmm?”

“B… But my brain still feels wide awake!” You mumbled, crossing your arms tight over your chest, “It’s like, it won’t turn off!”

“Well being on your phone won’t help that, sweetheart,” Leah sat beside you, smoothing your hair, “It’ll calm down soon enough. You just need to rest and you’ll drift off before you realise. But no more phone—I don’t want you scrolling TikTok until midnight.”

“M’kay,” You mumbled reluctantly, wiggling further down your bed, “... Mum?”

Leah hummed in response, “What is it, my girl?”

“I really don’t like Santa,” You told her, fiddling with your duvet.

“I know you don’t,” Leah soothed, kissing the top of your head, “But I promise he’s only coming to bring you presents. I know you’ll be absolutely spoiled rotten—everybody has gone overboard.”

“Really?” You mumbled, your eyes half shut.

“Oh, definitely without a doubt,” Leah confirmed, “I happen to know that your Nana has gotten way too carried away.”

“Santa better not try and take credit for it,” You grumbled, wrinkling your nose, “He don’t deserve it.”

Leah snorted, shaking her head, “What’re you like sometimes, eh?” She murmured, brushing her hand through your hair, “Right, enough distractions. Time to close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?” You mumbled quietly, afraid to be alone in your room.

“Of course I will,” Leah replied softly.

You nodded, but your fingers tightened around the duvet as your eyes flickered open again, “Mum…?” You whispered, your voice small in a way that made Leah’s chest pinch.

Leah hummed again, brushing your hair back from your forehead, “Yeah, my girl?”

“... Are you and Mama okay?” You murmured, barely above a whisper, “It’s just… you’ve both been acting weird. And… I don’t want anything bad to happen.”

Leah’s breath caught in her throat, she hadn’t been expecting that question, “Oh baby,” She whispered, attempting to blink the exhaustion out of her eyes, “Listen, you don’t need to worry about that tonight. Me and Mama love you and Buddy so much—more than anything, okay? Everything else, all of that grown up stuff we’ll handle, you don’t need to worry about any of it.”

Your fingers tightened slightly around the duvet as your eyebrows pinched together, not entirely convinced.

Leah hesitated for a moment before she gently brushed your hair back, “Sweetheart…” Her voice softened even more, “Is that why you didn’t want an advent calendar this year? Because you were worried about… all of this?”

Your eyes fluttered open just a sliver, guilt mixing with sleepiness, “Kinda,” You mumbled quietly, “I just… I didn’t wanna make things worse.”

“Oh my girl,” Leah’s chest ached at your confession as she pulled you into her embrace, “You never, ever make things worse. And you don’t need to save us. That’s not your job.”

You nodded sleepily, though you still frowned but the reassurance was there—even if it wasn’t a full answer, it eased the worry from your features, “Okay…” You murmured, finally letting your eyes close as Leah kept gently stroking your hair, “Night, Mum. Love you.”

“I love you too, my girl,” Leah smiled, watching your breathing slow and steady before she adjusted the duvet around you, “Sweet dreams, my girl. When you wake up it’ll be Christmas, and you’ll be able to open all your presents,” She whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Leah remained to linger for a second longer by your bedroom door before slipping out and pulling the door almost shut behind her.

Downstairs, Jordan was still crouching beside the tree and arranging the last few presents under the tree when Leah appeared. She looked up immediately, “All good?”

“She’s finally asleep,” Leah whispered, smiling faintly as she sank onto the sofa beside her, “I guess even our little Grinch needs rest before Christmas morning.”

Jordan huffed a soft laugh under her breath, but Leah didn’t join in this time. Instead, she stared at the tree—the warm lights, the carefully wrapped present and the quiet hum of the house settling around them.

There was a tense beat of silence, before Leah spoke again.

“Jordan…” Leah’s voice was different, strained around the edges.

“Yeah?” Jordan shifted closer, hands resting on her knees.

Leah swallowed, her eyes still fixed on the twinkling lights, “Monkey knows there’s something wrong.”

Jordan blinked, “She does?”

Leah nodded once, her shoulders sinking, “She’s smarter than we give her credit. She’s been watching us. She knows something has changed.”

“Damn it,” Jordan’s breath caught, “We’ve been trying so hard not to make it obvious.”

“Well, we haven’t been doing a very good job clearly,” Leah whispered, finally looking at Jordan, “She asked me if we’re splitting up. That’s the reason she had a meltdown over that bloody calendar because she thinks we’re going to need all the money we can get now.”

Jordan’s jaw clenched, a flash of guilt crossing her face, “Leah… I never wanted her to worry about any of this. She’s… just sixteen. She shouldn’t be carrying that.”

“I know,” Leah whispered, rubbing her forehead tiredly, “And yet somehow, she’s the one trying to protect us while we can’t even keep our own mess off her shoulders—all we can do now is make sure that we’re united for both our girls for Christmas… and then we can figure the rest out in the new year.”

leahwilliamsonn posted

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leahwilliamsonn christmas eve traditions & santa prep with my girls 🤍 the magic is all theirs—i'm just lucky to watch it 🎄🎅🏻✨

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bethmead_ oh i bet they're both so excited! 🥹💗

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liawalti oh i adore both of them so much! ❤️

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viviannemiedema 🎅🏼❤️

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jordannobbs can't wait to see both of their faces tomorrow! 🥹

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katie_mccabe11 remember to sleep with one eye open, menace! 😉

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“We won’t be, don’t worry. There’s plenty of time still, my girl,” Leah reassured you, leaning forward to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Are you sure? Mama’s not even here yet, and she promised she’d come with us!” You exclaimed, panic rising in your chest.

“Positive, it’s only a ten minute drive, and I’m sure that Mama is on her way,” Leah insisted, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze, “You know she won’t miss this.”

You furrowed your eyebrow, “Yeah, but…”

“Hey, hey, don’t fret,” Leah cut in, keeping her tone of voice gentle, “I’ll make sure you get there on time, and we’ll both be there.”

“... Okay,” You muttered, giving a small nod.

“Monk’ up!” Buddy babbled, holding her arms out for you to pick her up as she wobbled slightly on her legs, “Up!”

“Geesh, you’re so demanding,” You muttered, leaning down to scoop her up into your arms and rest her on your hip, as Buddy did no more than wrap her tiny arms around your neck and rest her head on your shoulder, “You’re not foolin’ me with your innocent act when you screamed all night and refused to sleep.”

Leah smiled, holding her phone up, “Aw, would you look at that? My two girls together,” She said fondly, snapping a few photos, “Smile, girls!”

“Urgh, fine. But the only reason I’m tolerating this is because you’re cute—” You grumbled, begrudgingly holding your little sister in your arms as she then proceeded to do no more than grab your hair with her tiny chubby hands, “Ow, ow, no… Buddy—Mum! She’s pulling my hair again, and I’ve just done it!”

Buddy giggled, completely oblivious as she kicked her legs in delight, more than aware of what she was doing as she attempted to yank it again.

“Ow, Buddy… stop,” You grumbled, trying to pry your hands off her hair, “Can you take ‘er? She’s being an evil little gremlin!”

“Oh, bubba,” Leah chuckled, gently taking Buddy from your arms, “She’s just a baby. She doesn’t mean it, Monkey.”

“Sure, I’m not convinced,” You muttered, making quick work to fix your hair.

“Knock knock,” Jordan called from the doorway, walking through with a smile on her face.

“Mama! Mama!” Buddy squealed happily, reaching towards her.

“Ooh, hi little ‘un,” Jordan cooed, taking Buddy from Leah as the toddler wiggled happily, using her free arm to wrap around you and pull you in for a side hug, “So, are you feeling excited for your first day of college?” She asked, gently bouncing Buddy slightly to make her giggle.

“Meh, kinda. Mums’ insisting that she takes photos… Mama, please, tell her to stop!” You pleaded, rolling your eyes and tried to not laugh at Buddy’s delighted squeals, “And your gremlin of a child thinks it’s funny to pull my hair after I’ve just done it!”

“Gremlin, huh?” Jordan laughed, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the top of your head, “I think she gets that from you, leading by her big sister's example.”

“Do not!” You shot back immediately, indignant.

Leah snorted, “Oh, really? You’re quite the menace yourself.”

“I am not—” You started, but Jordan beat you to it, grinning.

“Says the one that got expelled for throwing a chair across the classroom.”

“Or decided to try and climb out of your bedroom window,” Leah added, smirking.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “You said you weren’t gonna bring that up anymore—and I only climbed out of my window because how else was I supposed to sneak out?”

Leah raised her eyebrow, amused, “Well, you weren’t supposed to sneak out at all, Monkey. That’s kind of the point.”

“I honestly don’t know how we survived you as a teenager,” Jordan laughed, shaking her head, “I think we’re going to have it easy with Buddy.”

Right at that moment, Buddy chose to babble something incoherent and smack her chubby hands against Jordan’s cheek, almost like she was trying to put her two pence into the conversation.

“That’s right, ain’t it, little ‘un, you tell her,” Jordan teased, pressing a kiss to Buddy’s temple, “Even thinks it.”

You rolled your eyes with dramatic flair, “Sure, sure, whatever. Can we go now before we’re late? I don’t want to be late—I reckon I’m already gonna get stick cos’ of who you both are!”

Leah grinned, entirely unbothered by your dramatics, “Alright, come on then, impatient girl. We’ve got plenty of time, we’re going to make good traffic,” She paused, reaching for her car keys, “I know you’re worried, but it’s going to be fine. Fresh start, remember?”

“Your Mums’ right there, Monkey,” Jordan chimed in agreement, bouncing Buddy in her arms to keep her happy, “Right, I’ll get little miss Buddy sorted in her car seat, isn’t that right, poppet?”

“Right… of course, fresh start,” You muttered, tugging your backpack higher onto your shoulder, “Just as long as nobody figures out I’m your kid.”

Jordan gasped, feigning deep offense, “Excuse you, being our kid is a flex. Instant cool points.”

“Or a painted target on my back, but that depends how you look at it,” You shot back, already heading towards the front door with a nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach, “Let’s just get this over with…”

“I… I think this is a bad idea,” You began, your eyes lingering towards the new and unfamiliar building, “I’ve changed my mind. I just… I don’t want to do it.”

“You’re just feeling nervous,” Leah murmured, turning the ignition off in the car, “You’ve just got to be yourself, and you’ll make friends in no time. You will be absolutely fine, my girl.”

You gave her a weak smile in response, “Don’t feel like it.”

“Listen, we’ve already spoken to your college tutor, remember? She seems lovely,” Jordan added, reaching back to retrieve your baby sisters’ lost dummy and hand it back to her, “You’re going to go in there, and make us both so proud, little one.”

“I know it’s a big first step going in there, Monkey,” Leah leaned over the gear stick to squeeze your knee gently, “But you can do it in your own time.  There’s no rush at all.”

You took another glance out of the window, staring at the different groups of people your age, already clustered together, laughing and talking like they had known each other for years, “They look like they’ve got their lives together already.”

Jordan snorted, “Oh, please? When I was your age, I spent most of my time skipping college and eating sausage rolls for breakfast—”

“Don’t tell her that, Jord,” Leah gave her ex-girlfriend a sharp look, “You’ll give her ideas.”

“Not that I’m saying for you to do the same,” Jordan raised her hands in mock surrender, “But… I promise you that they’re probably feeling just as nervous as you do. Nobody at seventeen has got it all figured out.”

“See, my girl?” Leah said softly, “It’s normal to feel like that.”

As if right on queue, Buddy chose the moment to babble something completely incoherent from her car seat, mind you not having a clue what it was. 

“That’s right, bubba,” Leah chuckled fondly, “You tell her, yeah… tell her what you think. Chat to her then…” She encouraged gently.

Buddy continued to babble words that made absolutely no sense to you, flailing her arms around with dramatic flair.

“Oh, yeah? Is that right, gremlin?” You replied, gasping and pretending to understand each word she said, “Wow. Thank you for that fantastic insight.”

Leah and Jordan shared an amused look between them both, and tried to not laugh.

“Yeah, really? Whoa, that’s so helpful!” You carried on, playing along, “You’re so smart, and clever!”

“See? Even your baby sis thinks you’ll be fine,” Jordan teased, bouncing Buddy’s foot gently, “You’ve to take her word for it!”

“Wonderful, great,” You groaned playfully, tugging at your hoodie strings, “So, my whole life is being evaluated by a one-year-old that eats crayons and thinks the best time is splashing in the bath.”

Leah smirked knowingly, “You can’t deny she’s not confident though.”

“Maybe she should go to college then and deal with it,” You grumbled, sparing another glance out of the window, “I’ll stay home and… watch TV all day.”

“Oh, is that right? Very wise decision,” Leah murmured, amusedly, “Better to get it over with now, my girl. Now… do you want us to walk you to reception?”

You hesitated, your throat tightening, “Nah… I’ll be fine. I don’t want to attract any attention. And no offence to either of you, but that’s exactly what’ll happen if anyone sees you both with me.”

“If you’re sure, little one?” Jordan’s brow softened.

“Positivie,” You nodded, a little too fast, “Yep. I’ll be… fine. Totally fine.”

Leah leaned back and squeezed your hand, “You’ve got this. You’re to absolutely smash it, my girl.”

“Right, course… thanks, Mum,” You muttered, forcing a shaky breath before turning to look at Buddy with a wobbly grin, “Wish me luck, gremlin. See you later!”

Buddy clapped her hands like she understood exactly what you said.

“Go knock ‘em dead, little one,” Jordan encouraged warmly, “Make us proud.”

You opened the car door as the cold air rushed in, and you swallowed the lump that formed in your throat, “Here we go…”

“Fresh start, remember?” Leah reminded softly.

You gave a nervous nod, adjusting your backpack as you made the first move from the car, “Yep, right… fresh start.”

It turned out the first few hours weren’t nearly as horrific as you had imagined they would be. 

Sure, of course you spent the majority of the morning overthinking every single interaction—whether you smiled too much, answered something with too much attitude, if your laugh sounded weird and even if your pen tapping was annoying—but your tutor was kind, and most of your classmates seemed chill enough.

Nobody looked at you different… or so you thought.

By the time that lunch rolled around, you were sitting with a few people from your course, picking at a packet of crisps and trying to not talk with your mouth full. You weren’t trying to overthink anything, and it was fine. More than fine, actually. You were smiling, laughing and joining in on the conversation without thinking anything about it.

“Okay, this seems fine,” You thought to yourself, absentmindedly shoving another crisp in your mouth.

Then you heard a gasp across the other side of the room, and you turned to see three girls the same age as you, staring straight at you. One of them pointed, eyes wide.

“Is that—?” The girl asked, voice full of enthusiasm, “No way. That’s Monkey, isn’t it?”

“Whoa, it’s Leah Williamson’s daughter!” Another chirped, curious and excited.

“Oh my God, it is!” The third girl joined in the conversation, speaking loud enough for you to hear her, “I’ve seen her all over social media—no way, I can’t believe that Leah Williamson’s daughter goes to our college! That’s like, the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!”

It felt like the air had been sucked straight out the room. Several heads turned around, gasping and staring in awe.

Suddenly you weren’t just another student, and the attention was solely fixed on you.

You hated it

You always thought that starting college would be a fresh start for you. 

College was a reset. A chance to stop being that kid that had made a name for yourself.

Troublemaker.

You messed up at school when you were fifteen and got expelled, and you realised that you made a really silly mistake that you couldn’t fix.

Luckily, Leah and Jordan were able to find you another school that actually did support your learning difficulties, and they understand why your behaviour sometimes spiralled. You were able to knuckle down and finish your GCSE’s.

Your grades weren’t overly fantastic, but they were acceptable, and enough to help you get onto the college course that you wanted—

You were going to make a future for yourself, and make Leah and Jordan proud.

The summer had been… surreal. Leah had led England to victory at the Euros, lifting the trophy and filling the nation with glory. The world seemed to suddenly notice her, and with it, they noticed you. 

Suddenly, nothing was private—Leah was recognised everywhere she went, and people wanted to stop her and take photos with her. There was no hiding from the new limelight.

But weren't a fan of it—you didn’t like the attention, the hushed whispers or the pointing of fingers once you had been spotted.

You didn’t quite understand it though, because to you, Leah was your Mum. Not this huge celebrity profile that people thought she was.

And yet with the success of the win, it was impossible not to feel that your life, too, had changed.

And now? It seemed like the complete opposite of that, and even college felt like it was going to be a whole different experience. 

“You’re Monkey, right?” One of the girls finally chalked up the confidence, rushing over to you and making herself comfortable in the seat opposite, “I recognise you from a photo I’ve seen on Instagram!”

“Uh…” You managed, cheeks flushing red, “I… um…”

One of the girls was already pulling her phone out, “Can we get a selfie? My brother’s obsessed with your mum.”

It’s words like them that made you uncomfortable, but you tried to push it aside, “Uh… yeah, sure,” You thought this was a way to make friends, and you didn’t realise how weird it was.

“Thanks! Say… cheese!” The girl insisted, tapping the phone to snap a photo, “That’s great—oh, I’m Cameron by the way—and that’s Hannah, and Demi!”

“Hi,” You awkwardly waved at the three of the girls, grinning and staring at you like you were indeed famous yourself, “Uh… do you want to sit down, or something?”

“So… we’re thinking about going out for a burger later on,” Hannah said brightly, sliding into the spare seat beside you, “You should come with us!”

“Uh… I’ll have to ask my mum, but that sounds like fun,” You replied honestly.

The three girls exchanged excited glances like they had won the lottery.

“Yeah, of course! You can even bring your mum if you want?” Demi asked, trying to play it off like she was joking.

You frowned, “I don’t think she’d want to do that, and she’s got my little sister to look after…”

“Oh yeah! You’ve got a little sister—you two are so lucky!” Cameron squealed, clutching her hand over her heart, “She seems so cute on Leah’s social media—how old is she?”

“She’s one, but she’s a… well she’s a little gremlin,” You laughed nervously, fiddling with the edge of your crisp packet, “She’s loud and full of opinions.”

“She sounds adorable,” Demi cooed, leaning across the table, “Honestly, I love babies! My whole family’s obsessed with kids—you could bring her along? I’m a great babysitter, I swear!”

“Um, I… I don’t think my mums’ would like that,” You told them, smiling sheepishly, “She’s just a bit too young to go without them, and they're like, uh super protective.”

“That’s okay! We don’t mind hanging out with you,” Hannah added, smiling from ear to ear, “It’ll be fun! Right, girls?”

All three of them nodded eagerly.

You swallowed, feeling a warm but confusing twinge in your chest. They actually do seem nice… right?

You felt like you were wanted.

Like you finally belonged.

“Yeah… sure,” You agreed, softly as you smiled a little, “That does sound like fun.”

Cameron beamed a wide smile, “Perfect! You’re officially part of our gang now!”

“Cool, thanks!” You agreed, and for a moment it really did feel like you were apart of their friendship group.

Suddenly, college didn’t seem all that scary after all.

“Mum! I’m going out after college with my friends…” You called over your shoulder as you shoved your shoes on, waving goodbye to Leah as she stood in the kitchen with Buddy, who was sitting in her high chair and happily munching on dry cheerios, “Bye Mum, see you later on!”

“Whoa, whoa, hang on a second—what friends?” Leah stopped you before you opened the front door, her face sharp enough to make you pause with your hand on the door handle, “Are you really sure that’s a good idea?”

“The girls from college, remember!” You spun around, grinning, “Cameron, Demi and Hannah. We’re going to go into town, grab some food—come on Mum, it’s the weekend!”

“I know it’s the weekend,” Leah replied, giving you that classic mum look that made you shrink, “ But don’t forget there’s a game tomorrow, remember? I know you want to go out with your friends, but you have to think sensibly when you play football professionally.”

“I am feeling sensible!” You argued, tugging your jacket on, “I won’t be out all night—just a few hours. I’ll be back by nine!”

“Eight o’clock,” Leah cut in, deadpan.

“Deal… but can I have some money?” You tried, flashing her your sweetest smile, the one that usually helped you get what you wanted.

“Again?” Leah arched her eyebrow in disbelief, “I gave you some last time that you went out. What’re you spending it all on?”

“I know, but uh… I already spent that,” You admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of your neck with your free hand.

“I didn’t realise burgers and fries cost that much nowadays,” Leah remarked, her tone dripping with her usual sarcasm.

“We had milkshakes, too—and then we went out to the shops!” You insisted defensively, “Please, Mum?”

“Alright, fine…” Leah gave in, reaching for her wallet, “And how much are you thinking?”

“Um… like, fifty quid?” You wondered, flashing her an innocent smile, “I’ll pay you back when I can, I promise!”

Leah scoffed in disbelief, “Fifty quid? Yeah right, you don’t need that much!”

“Please, Mum! I promise that I’ll pay you back,” You pleaded, hopeful that your sweet words would help your case, “I swear!”

“You don’t have a job,” Leah replied flatly.

“Okay, fine… I’ll get a job and pay you back, I promise!” You continued to plead, “Please?”

Leah huffed, rolling her eyes in response, “Alright, fine… go on, and have a good time—remember I want you back home at a decent time, okay? No excuses.”

“Totally, deal…. Nine o’clock on the dot,” You agreed, smiling smugly.

“Eight, menace!” Leah cut in, before you had the chance to scarper.

“Half eight?” You tried to push your luck.

Leah didn’t look convinced at all, “Eight o’clock, or you’re not going out. Your choice? Take it or leave it.”

“Fine, fine, alright eight it is… but all the girls will be out later!” You whined, throwing your head back in dramatic fashion, “I’ll be the only one that’s going home early!”

“They might be, but they also don’t have a game tomorrow, do they?” Leah replied calmly, “These are the sacrifices that you have to make sometimes, my girl.”

You beamed a wide smile, “Course, I remember—I’ll be fine! I’ll be back at a reasonable time—oh wait, actually… is there any way I can get some tickets to the game tomorrow? I know it’s late notice, but they want to come and watch!

“Monkey, I think it’s a bit late now…” Leah said, exhaling a sigh.

“Right, course… “ You muttered, slumping your shoulders, “I just thought that it could be possible to do that, with you being a high profile celebrity now, right?”

Leah laughed softly, shaking her head, “I get that you’re excited, Monkey and it’s fine but I need a bit more notice than one day to get the tickets,” She began to explain, “I know there’s been a lot of attention since the Euros, but I’m still plain old Leah, and I can’t just click my fingers and expect tickets at the drop of a hat. Sometimes things don’t work out, but if they’re your true friends, then they’ll understand.”

“I guess so… I just, I want them to see what it’s like to experience a game like it,” You told her, pouting, “It’s sort of a big deal to me, Mum. Since you know… I’ve signed for the club, officially now and I might be able to have my debut in a derby game.”

“It’s alright, my girl. They’ll understand,” Leah murmured, resting her hand on your shoulder, “I know this game is exciting but you’ll get a chance, and besides… there’s a whole season for them to come and watch the games, so they can experience it then. Just spend the time getting to know them first, yeah? There’s no rush.”

You nodded, chewing the inside of your cheek, “Yeah… okay, alright. I can… I just really want them to like me.”

“They already do, Monkey,” Leah reminded you gently, “It sounds like you’ve found a good bunch of friends in them, so just have some fun… I just don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“I don’t feel pressured—I feel… happy,” You admitted, surprised by how true it sounded.

Leah’s expression softened, “Well, I’m glad that you do.”

“I feel like I actually fit somewhere,” You continued, words tumbling out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them, “Like, not just to be known as your daughter, I mean it… they don’t care if I have ADHD or Autism, either. They’re just… they’re good friends— I feel happy!”

“I know, my girl,” Leah cupped your cheek for a moment, her tone of voice sounding softer, “I just… I don’t want anyone using you, okay? You’ve got a heart of gold, and sometimes it can be hard to see when people are taking advantage of it.”

“No, honestly— they’re not like that!” You insisted, “They're all so nice, I swear! Cameron always saves me a seat, Demi shares her snacks… and Hannah, well she’s always laughing at my jokes. Even if they’re terrible.”

Leah smirked in amusement, “Then they must want to stick around if they’re putting up with that.”

You groaned, “Mum!”

“What? I’m just saying,” Leah laughed, kissing the top of your head before she finally handed you a crumpled note from her wallet, “There. Twenty quid. Don’t go spending it all at once now.”

“What, not fifty?” You grumbled, holding out your hand.

Leah gave you a firm look, “Don’t push it. If you want more money then you need to find yourself a job.”

“Urgh… fine! Thanks, Mum!” You beamed a wide smile, thankful, “Love you!”

“Love you too, my girl,” Leah pulled you close and kissed your temple, “Remember, eight o’clock sharp!”

“Half eight!” You yelled back, trying your luck.

“Eight,” Leah repeated, sternly.

“Fine, fine… alright, eight it is,” You murmured begrudgingly, rolling your eyes as you opened the front door, pausing to wave at your little sister who was still happily sitting in her high chair eating dry cheerios, “Bye, Buddy!”

Buddy, right on queue, babbled something completely incoherent, smacking her tiny fists on the table of her high chair.

“That’s right, bubba,” Leah smiled, walking back into the kitchen as she brushed her hand through the toddlers’ light blonde curls, “What’s your big sister like sometimes, eh? She’s a cheeky monkey indeed, isn’t she?”

“Okay, I know I’m late… but I promise I have a good excuse for it!” You called as you slipped through the front door.

“I told you eight o’clock, not half past, didn’t I?” Leah’s voice cut through the hallway, sharp enough to make you freeze mid-step.

You smiled sheepishly, “Technically… it’s twenty three minutes past eight—”

“Technicaly, you’re still late home,” Leah interrupted, arms crossed and her brow furrowed;

“Yeah, but it’s only twenty three minutes. It’s not like I’m hours late. C’mon, Mum? It’s really not that deep,” You tried, though the guilt was starting to creep in.

Leah arched her brow, “Not that deep?” She echoed, incredulous.

“Mum, you’re completely overreacting about this!” You groaned, tilting your head back dramatically, “So what if I have a game tomorrow? It’s fine—I’ll be fine!”

“It’s not just about that, Monkey!” Leah said, rising from the sofa with a firm look on her face still, “It’s about showing respect, and if I set a time for you to be home then I expect you to stick to it—not come back when you feel like it, and go against everything I’ve set!” 

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you slumped down onto the arm of the sofa, “I’m sorry, okay? I just lost track of time… we were laughing and messing about, and then Demi wanted to show me this new cafe and…”

“Look, I’m happy that you’re making friends. Really, I am. But I don’t like this attitude you bring back with you,” Leah continued, softening slightly though her eyes never left yours.

“What attitude?” You asked, confused.

“This one,” Leah motioned with a pointed finger, “The one where you think you can shrug me off with smart comments—I know you, Monkey, and it’s not you… at least it’s not the you that I know.”

“Seriously, Mum? I’m just having fun with my friends—sorry I’m not sitting at home twiddling my thumbs like some sad loner!” You muttered, rolling your eyes.

Leah’s jaw tightened, “Watch your tone, Monkey!”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Mum! I don’t need you controlling everything that I do!” You insisted, puffing out your chest, “I don’t always have to follow rules. I can handle things on my own!”

“I’m not… I don’t want to control you—I’m trying to set you boundaries, because I am your Mum and there’s a difference there,” Leah said firmly, keeping her voice low but steady so your little sister wouldn’t wake up, “And when you cross them, there are consequences.”

You scoffed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes again, “Gee, wonderful. So what now? I’m grounded, or are you going to take my phone? I just want to have a life Mum, you can’t stop me!” With that, you went to start to get up from the sofa and exit the living room, and the lecture.

Leah pressed her lips together, and then exhaled through her nose, “You know, I actually went out of my way today to get those tickets you were begging me for… and now I don’t think you deserve them.”

“Wait…” You froze, turning around to face her, “You actually got them?”

“Mhm, I did,” Leah agreed, nodding her head, “I managed to speak to someone and pull a few strings. But with the way you’re carrying on tonight? I’m seriously regretting going that extra mile.”

You gasped, eyes wide in disappointment, “Mum! You can’t—wait, no… that’s not fair! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!”

Leah arched her brow, “You’ve soon changed your tune when I mentioned that, haven’t you?”

“I’m sorry, I really am—I didn’t… I didn’t mean it!” You insisted, the sudden guilt seeping through you, “I was just… I didn’t mean it, please Mum! Please! I swear I’ll be good and come home at the right time!”

“It’s not just about being good when you feel like it,” Leah replied calmly, though her lips twitched almost like she was trying to fight a smirk, “I want you to prove it, Monkey.”

“I promise! I will—Please, Mum! I won’t mouth off, and I’ll even… babysit Buddy for you, so you can have a break!” You offered, doing whatever you could to get your hands on those tickets, “Please, I am really sorry!”

Leah’s laugh finally slipped out, “Okay now I know you’re desperate if you’re insisting on that.”

“I’m sorry for speaking to you like I did—I didn’t mean it! I really am… I’m sorry,” You continued, hoping that pleading your innocence would work in your favour, “I guess I’m just happy to have friends that actually seem to like me, and I like hanging out with them.”

“I know that you are,” Leah said, a smile softening her features, “Listen… I know that you’re happy to have made friends, and I’m happy that you have too, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be rude. We’ve not raised you to be like that.”

You pouted, dipping your head, “I’m sorry, I am… Please, please, can I have the tickets? It would be so cool for my friends to watch the game. I promise, I really am sorry for what I said!”

“Here,” Leah froze, holding out the tickets mid-air, “But don’t think I’ve forgotten your attitude, or lateness. You can make it up by doing the washing up tomorrow after dinner.”

“Deal—thank you, thank you, thank you, Mum! You’re seriously the best mum in the entire world!” You squealed, throwing your arms around her.

Leah rolled her eyes but her lips twitched, “Mmhm, sure. I’ll remember that the next time you’re having a hissy fit about something, huh?”

“I’m serious! You are, like definitely” You exclaimed, clutching the tickets to your chest, “Right now, though, you’re like… top tier, this is great Mum!”

“Flatterly will not get you out of doing the washing up tomorrow,” Leah shot back, pointing a warning finger, though her tone was lighter now, “Alright, go let your friends know the good news and then get ready for bed. We still have a game tomorrow.”

“Whoa! I can’t believe we’re actually at the Emirates stadium,” Demi gasped, her eyes wide in awe as she spun around with her phone out to make sure to capture 

“I know right? This is amazing—Wow! Look, there’s Katie McCabe!” Hannah squealed, bouncing like she was at a concert rather than a football match, “Do you see her?”

“No way. I see her! She looks even better in person!” Cameron added, elbowing Demi and pointing as Katie jogged down the sideline.

You could hear the squeals and chatter over the hum of the crowd, phones snapping and cameras flashing as they pointed at every familiar face on the pitch.

The noise inside the stadium buzzed with energy, and the roar of the crowd was electric. This moment wasn’t about the fangirling though, but instead the pitch beneath your boots, and representing the badge on your chest, and of course the game you loved.

It made your stomach flutter in a good way, you were excited for them to see the first taste of a women’s game—your friends were there to watch you in a game. The prospect of it was so exciting.

“Hey, little one. Big today, huh?” Jordan appeared by your side, smiling as she wrapped her free arm around your shoulder, “You’re making your debut!” 

“I’m excited, but also nervous…” You admitted, honestly, “What if I don’t play as well as I do in training?”

“You’re going to be great, Monkey,” Jordan reassured you, pulling you in close and kissing the top of your head, “Football is a team sport, and you won’t be on your own. I couldn’t be prouder to be able to watch you excel on the pitch!”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “You think so?”

“I know so!” Jordan insisted, smiling softly as she followed your gaze over to where your three friends were waiting in the stands, “I see that your friends have made it then, eh?”

“They did!” You said, nodding triumphantly, “I’m gonna go say hi before the game starts…”

“Go on then. Don’t let me stop you,” Jordan said with an amused smile, giving your shoulder a gentle nudge. Her eyes twinkled with a mixture of teasing and pride, “Say hello to them for me. You’ll have to introduce me to them after the game.”

“Sure!” You replied, eagerly as you adjusted your jacket over your club branded tracksuit, tucking your hair behind your ear, “See you in a bit!”

Your heart was racing, and it wasn’t just from the nerves of the match ahead—this was a North London derby, but it was exciting to actually see your friends here, buzzing with excitement.

“Hey, you guys made it!” You approached the stands, hopping over the barrier that kept you separated from them, “So…. what do you reckon about the grand ol’ Emirates then, eh? It’s not too shabby, huh?”

“Whoa, this is surreal, M! I can’t believe we’re here, this is like… so cool!” Demi squealed, shoving her phone right in your face to take a video.

“Yeah, honestly… I’ve never been this close to the players before,” Hannah chimed in, eyes still scanning the pitch, “It’s awesome, like… Beth Mead is literally right over there! That’s so crazy, right?”

“I guess so…” You shrugged your shoulders, trying to remain casual, “But I mean, you do realise that most of these girls are like my aunties, right? I see them, like… all of the time!”

“You’re so lucky!” Hannah’s eyes shined in amazement, “Can you introduce us after the game? I’d love a picture with Leah!” The girl gushed, all but practically bouncing in her seat.

“Uh… I mean, I can try but…” You awkwardly scratched the back of your neck, “I should probably get back into the changing rooms before I get shouted at…”

“Go smash it, M!” Demi called, waving frantically, though her eyes flicked past you almost immediately as Viv jogged past to grab a water bottle.

It was in that moment that the realisation dawned on you when you noticed that your friends weren’t really watching you, but you tried to not let it phase you as you shrugged it off and put it down to the fact that it was their first time experiencing a moment like this.

All of this came normal to you now, after all you had been attending football games ever since you were put into Leah and Jordan’s care, and it just became normal—this was your life.

But maybe… maybe it was different for them?

Beth raised her eyebrow, confused as she ran past towards the tunnel, “Since when do you answer to the nickname M?” 

“Oh, uh… it’s a new nickname the girls are trying out,” You replied, tugging at the hem of your tracksuit, “The girls just think that Monkey seems a bit… childish, isn't it?”

“New nickname?” Leah arched her eyebrow, overhearing the conversation, “I gave you that nickname when I first met you, remember?”

You froze mid-step, suddenly aware of Leah’s hurt expression, “Oh… uh, no… I didn’t mean it like that,” You paused, “It’s not that I don’t like it, Mum. It’s just… I’m older now, right?”

“I know that,” Leah shook her head slightly, cupping your chin with her hand, “You’ll always be my cheeky monkey, no matter how old you get. Don’t forget that.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” You offered her a sheepish smile, “It’s just that the girls from college started calling me it… and well, I guess it’s just stuck, right? But you can still call me that.”

“Good, because I certainly wasn’t planning on calling you M… that just sounds daft,” Leah said with a teasing smile, “It’s like some off brand of Eminem, huh?”

You smirked, shaking your head in amusement, “Seriously, Mum? Eminem?”

“I’m funny and you know it,” Leah continued to wind you up, ruffling your hair playfully, “Go finish getting ready. We’ve got a derby to win today.”

“Course!” You replied, eager as you slipped into the changing rooms while the faint noise of chatter and laughter from your fellow teammates echoed around the room—everyone was excited and anticipated the upcoming game of your biggest rivals on the pitch.

“Hey, little lady!” Katie walked past you with a beaming smile on her face, “Yer Ma’s told me that yer’ve got yer friends from college at this game. Did they manage to make it?”

“Yeah, they’re over in the stands. I went and spoke to them earlier,” You explained, tossing your jacket off aside as you reached for your training top. 

“Ah, that’s grand!” Katie gave her a delighted laugh, her eyes sparkling as she clapped a hand on your shoulder, “I bet they’ll love seeing the game live—especially since it’s a derby! Yer ‘ave t admit that it’s always a different experience than watching it on the telly, eh?”

“I guess you’re right there,” You nodded, tugging your top over your head as you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline building in your chest, “I’m excited they’re here to witness it!”

“Don’t forget about us now yer ‘ave yer friends ‘ere, eh?” Katie joked as she playfully nudged your elbow, “And remember to keep yer head in the game, and have a laugh too. Yer pals’ will be cheering yer on from their seats. Just try to not get distracted.”

“I won’t, don’t worry. I’m just happy they’re here!” You beamed a massive smile, and finished getting ready in the rest of your kit, “Will you help me with my hair? It’s all messy… and I want it to be perfect for when I go out there—I’ve made the starting eleven!”

“Sure, I can, little lady,” Katie happily obliged, reaching for your own hairbrush as you pulled the bobble out of your hair, “It’s a big moment today. Most importantly… remember to have fun!” She murmured, carefully brushing through your hair and scraping it back up into a high ponytail.

“I will! I can’t wait!” You exclaimed, excitement vibrating through your body.

Katie laughed, fixing the bobble around your ponytail and tightening it, fixing your flyaway hair with hairspray, “Go show ‘em what yer’ve got, little lady!”

“And making her debut for Arsenal today… it’s our number 68!” The voice rang through the stadium, announcing your name and number followed by a loud amount of noise—this is exactly what you’ve been waiting for.

Your debut. This was your moment to shine on the pitch.

You felt a warm presence standing beside you in the tunnel and you instantly recognised the familiar perfume that you would know anywhere, “Hi, Mum…” You whispered, not even needing to look up to know it was Leah.

“Hear that reception? That’s for you, my girl. All of the fans that have shown up today—the whole family is waiting to watch you,” Leah bent down slightly so her following words could meet your ear, calm and reassuring as always, “I’m so proud to be your Mum right now. You’re going to absolutely smash it!”

“Thanks, Mum…” Your throat tightened, trying to not allow the tears to spill as you took in the scene around you—the fans dotted around the stadium but you weren’t sure how many there were. But you definitely knew it was a lot.

Leah gave your ponytail a gentle tug, the same way that she has always done, “This is your moment, Monkey. Go make it count.”

“I’m ready…”  You whispered, biting your bottom lip nervously as you await the go-ahead to walk out of the tunnel.

“Here we go,”

“Emirates stadium, will you please welcome Tottenham Hotspur… and the Arsenal!” The voice rang out through the stadium, followed by the loud cheer from the fans as you walked out onto the pitch.

This moment… It felt entirely surreal. You couldn’t quite believe you were here, standing on the pitch and soaking in a moment just like this.

You stole a moment to glance at Jordan on the bench, a proud smile on her face as she stuck her thumb up. You weren’t sure where the rest of your family was sitting, but you were so happy they were here to see you have your debut—family meant everything to you, after all.

And then you glanced over to where your friends were squealing, phones out and zooming in on Katie, Beth, and even Leah just like they were celebrities on the red carpet, not football players. 

Although, there was a flicker of disappointment tugging at your chest—you realised that they weren’t here to see you, but instead… the rest of the Arsenal girls.

You swallowed hard and forced your eyes back to the grass under your boots.

It was time to focus—-focus on the game. This is your debut. Your moment.

The anthem music faded as you lined up amongst your teammates as the camera panned down the line up of both teams.

“Go shine, trouble,” Kim patted your shoulder in reassurance as you made your way over to stand with the rest of the team for a mandatory team photo before kick off.

The flash of the camera caught you off guard slightly as you stood side by side next to Leah.  Everyone had their games faces on, while you tried your best to bury the nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“You feeling okay, little one?” Lia whispered as she stood up and clocked your hesitant expression, “It’s normal to feel nervous about making your debut, you’re going to do so good. I believe in you… we all do!”

You nodded, exhaling through your nose as you forced yourself to move into the team circle as North London Forever blared out through the stadium, fans stood up with the red and white scarfs on display—now you felt like you were home.

Just like that, ninety minutes passed by in a blur—passing, running, tackling along with the strum of the crowd lifting you higher every time you touched the ball.

Nothing was perfect. You made sloppy mistakes and you even managed to lose possession of the ball once or twice, but you also won the hard-earned tackles, linked play and even managed to make an assist.

Your debut was a memory to remember. It was all yours.

The final whistle blew and the stadium erupted into loud cheers. Your chest heaved, sweat plastered hair to your forehead but the adrenaline? That’s what kept you going.

You’d done it. You’d made your debut.

That was something to be proud of.

“That was some debut, little lady,” Katie ruffled your hair on her way past.

Beth beamed a wide smile and clapped her hand on your back, “Nice one, kid!”

Leah didn’t hesitate to run towards you, engulfing you in a warm hug, “I am so, so proud of you my girl! Well done!”

“Thanks, Mum,” You smiled, cheeks aching with pride.

Jordan joined the moment, rushing over to you and lifting you off the ground, “That was amazing, little one!” She gushed, spinning you around in circles, “So bloody proud!”

For that fleeting moment, everything felt exactly like it was how you dreamed it would be like.

But that all faded when you looked up in the stands.

There was Cameron, Demi and Hannah, all leaning over the railings and screaming… but it wasn’t for you. All three of their phones were aimed at Leah, and the rest of the Arsenal girls, clamouring for their attention—Hannah was waving frantically at Beth, Demi was already posing with Katie and Cameron was begging Viv for a selfie.

Not one of them had their phone pointed at you.

The flicker of disappointment hit harder this time. You had really wanted them to be here for you, and for that moment, you felt completely invisible. It felt like you were just a side character in their fan experience.

“Hey,” Leah appeared by your side, engulfing you in another warm hug, “Not gonna celebrate with your friends? I thought you’d be rushing over to see them the minute that you could.”

Your smile faltered, “Why? It doesn’t seem like they’re bothered about seeing me.”

Leah frowned, following your gaze as she exhaled a sigh, “I see…” She murmured, lowering her voice, “Forget about them. Just enjoy this moment. You’ve earned it. They can’t take this away from you.”

Right there in that moment, you realised that it didn’t matter if your friends hadn’t actually showed up for you. Your family had—and they would always have your back.

“Right, I need to go and do a quick interview with your Auntie Al,” Leah explained gently, “Are you going to be alright here? I’ll catch up when I’m done.”

“Sure, uh… I’m gonna go find Mama,” You told her, plastering on a fake smile as you nodded, “Tell Auntie Al I said hi!”

“I will do,” Leah promised, kissing the side of your head as she dipped off towards where Alex was standing, awaiting Leah’s take on the post-match interview, “See you in a bit, my girl. Remember I’m proud of you.”

As you made your way towards where Jordan was on the pitch, you were somewhat still buzzing from the adrenaline as the roar of the crowd echoed in your ears. And then your so-called friends realised you were nearing them.

“M!” Demi called over, all but launching herself over the barrier as if she had been shouting for you the entire time—you weren’t a fool to see that was certainly not the case.

Cameron and Hannah were right behind her, waving their phones frantically as if they had nothing better to do.

Of course, your heart lifted for a split second and thinking that maybe you’d been wrong to think about things the way they did. Maybe they were just excited, and didn’t know how to properly act at a football game. Maybe they actually did care that it was your debut game.

“Hey,” You approached the three of them cautiously, “How’d you like the game—?”

“Quick, you were just with Leah—can you get her to take a photo with us?” Hannah cut you off, excitedly anticipating and waving her damn phone around, “You can be in the photo with us if you’d like?”

“And Beth, too!” Cameron chimed in, beaming a wide grin, “That’d be awesome, M!”

Your chest sank at that moment, and your smile that you had plastered on cracked at the edges.

“I, uh… I don’t know,” You stammered, voice sounding smaller amongst the chaos of their pleas, “Hold on… I just want to go and find my Mama—”

“Oh, go on, M!” Demi cut you off, begging eagerly, “It’s just one photo—you’ll be amazing if you do this for us!”

“Now hang on a minute…” Katie heard the tailend of the conversation, appearing by your side in an instant as she draped her arm around your shoulder, “This isn’t a bloody meet-and-greet. Yer three are here to support yer friend, yeah?”

Cameron blinked, entirely caught off guard, “Uh… we just wanted a photo—”

“And you got one,” Katie shot back, narrowing her eyes, “Now, maybe say well done to yer friend that made her debut in the game rather than act like yer backstage at a concert.”

Your three so-called friends shuffled awkwardly, “Yeah, course… well played, M,” Cameron barely muttered a single sentence, before she flitted her attention to the rest of the girls.

“Good job,” Hannah chimed in.

“Yeah… totally,” Demi added, “Well done, on er… running?” She offered, trying to offer a fake smile, though you could see straight past it.

“Nah, I’m not havin’ that. Is that the best yer’ve got?” Katie scoffed, shaking her head, “Yer ‘ere to support yer friend, and she was so bloody good that entire game, played ‘er heart out—if yer gon’ come ‘ere then yer can at least show your gratitude, and be happy for my niece!”

You felt your ears burn and your heart hammered, “Auntie Katie… you don’t need to—it’s okay!” 

“Nonsense,” Katie waved you off without even thinking a second about it, “Monkey deserves better than half-arsed comments. Yer either come here and support ‘er, or yer don’t bother comin’ ‘ere again, got it?”

You knew that Katie meant well with her words but the following week at college was the worst.

By the time that Monday rolled around, you walked in, expecting the usual chaos—Cameron yelling across the corridor, Demi waving you over and Hannah spilling the tea about some college tutor.

But it wasn’t like that, at all. Everything had… shifted.

“Oi, save me a seat?” You tried to laugh, but Cameron just shrugged, dumping her bag on the chair that used to be yours.

It wasn’t just Cameron suddenly not saving you a seat, but Hannah would coincidentally forget to tell you when they made plans, and Demi? She was the worst. She would roll her eyes every time you opened your mouth.

You thought it would end there, but you were so wrong—along came the whispers, and the quiet snickers when you walked past.

“Just because she’s got a famous mum and aunts, she thinks that she’s the next best thing,” You heard Cameron whisper, glancing your way and turning her head just as quick.

Your stomach twisted.

Demi pretended that she didn’t see you as she continued to whisper, “You should’ve seen her out there, it’s like… well she’s not very good.”

You heard the snickers from the three of them.

“Oh my God,” Hannah’s voice chimed in, “She actually thinks she’s a pro footballer now. How embarrassing is that?”

You sat on the edge of your seat in the canteen, fiddling with your bracelet and pretending to not hear the noise around you, but your ears burned hot.

The digs were never ending—it was continuous… it was becoming torture to be at college.

You couldn’t blame Katie for her words though, she was only being protective and trying to stick up for you.

But college was turning into a living nightmare.

You were relieved by the time college ended that day, so you could just hibernate in your room, bury your head under the duvet… and try to pull a sickie in a desperate attempt to ditch college for the week, if you could be so lucky.

“The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout. Down came the rain, and washed the spider out…” You heard Leah’s soft mellow sing as you walked through the front door, slamming it behind you without even having the consideration to wait for Jordan to come inside, “Monkey? Is that you?”

You weren’t in the mood to talk. Not one bit.

“Monkey!” The front door opened, Jordan calling your name as she hurried inside with a confused expression, “Monkey! Hang on a second—Little one!”

You didn’t want to talk to either of them, hurrying upstairs into your bedroom and slamming yor bedroom door behind you.

Leah frowned from where she stood in the living room, gently bouncing Buddy in her arms, “What an earth was that all about?” She asked, closing the front door that Jordan had left ajar.

Jordan sighed, tossing her car keys onto the side table, “Don’t ask me. She’s been silent ever since I picked her up from college. Wouldn’t barely look at me the whole drive back.”

Leah’s brows knitted together, the crease in her forehead deepening, “Do you think something might’ve happened?”

“I have no idea,” Jordan admitted, running a hand through her hair, “But whatever is it, she’s trying to shut us both out.”

“Right, okay,” Leah pressed her lips together, weighing it up as she shifted Buddy into Jordan’s arms with a soft but decisive nod, “I’ll go up and talk to her. You just stay down here with Buddy.”

“Good luck,” Jordan muttered, already cooing at the toddler on her hip, “You might have a better chance talking to her than I did—hi poppet, ooh you’re my happy little girl today, aren’t you?”

Making a quick detour into the kitchen for a pint of ice cream and a spoon, Leah padded up the stairs with her footsteps deliberately light against the wood, halting outside your door and knocking once, “Monkey…?”

“Go away,” You muttered, your voice muffled but sharp.

Leah furrowed her brow, knocking once more, “Can I come in?”

“I said go away!” You muttered, louder this time but still muffled, “I’m not in the mood to talk!”

“You know I’m not going to do that,” Leah said in an amused tone of voice, poking her head around the door, “I’ve brought ice cream…”

Your head turned in curiosity, eyes flicking towards her, “... Ben and Jerry’s?”

“Of course,” Leah said, stepping in fully now with a tub balanced in one hand and the spoon in the other, “I brought the whole thing.”

You huffed, gripping a pillow in your arms, “I guess you can come in then…”

Leah smiled softly, crossing the room to sit at the edge of your bed as she handed you the spoon and nudged the tub your way, “Bad day at college?  Mama said you didn’t speak the entire car ride back.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mum,” You mumbled, already peeling back the lid.

“Alright…” Leah agreed gently, leaning back on her hands, “Then we won’t talk then, we’ll just… eat ice cream.”

You tried to keep up your sulk, but the moment that she handed you the spoon and gave you that all too familiar look, you cracked—you sighed and dug into the ice cream. The first mouthful was cold enough to make your teeth ache, but at least it gave you something else to focus on other than your terrible day at college.

“Better?” Leah asked after a moment.

You shrugged your shoulders, though the corner of your lips twitched faintly, “It helps… somewhat.”

Leah leaned back against your headboard, crossing her arms, “You know,” She mused, “When I was probably a bit younger than you, I was convinced that the entire school hated me because I scored an own goal in a final. I wouldn’t leave my room for three days.”

You raised an eyebrow, “You scored an own goal? I don’t believe that.”

“It’s shocking, I know. Ask Nana ‘Manda if you don’t believe me,” Leah grinned, “I thought my life was over. Like, proper end-of-the-world stuff. But… it turns out that nobody actually seemed to care as much as I thought they did.”

“It’s not the same,” You muttered, poking at the ice cream, “This isn’t just over a game, Mum. They’re all being… proper horrible.”

“Oh my girl,” Leah’s face softened instantly, turning to you fully with one knee on the bed, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You weren’t ready to admit anything. Your throat tightened, but the words tumbled out anyways, “They all think I only got my debut ‘cos of you. They just think… that I’m rubbish. That I don’t deserve to be on the team,” You explained, breath hitching, “My friends weren’t even bothered, it’s like I didn’t even exist.”

Leah was quiet for a moment, silently watching you before she reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “Alright… first of all, Monkey, you do deserve to be on the team. You’ve worked hard for it—the extra hours, the bruises, tears… all of it. You’ve grafted to earn this spot, it’s not because you’re my daughter.”

You bit your bottom lip and stared down at the melting swirl of cookie dough, “Yeah? Don’t feel it. I just feel… like I’m standing on the sideline. Like I don’t belong there.”

“Nonsense,” Leah tilted her head, lips curving into a small smile, “You belong at Arsenal. You have every right to be there… and when I saw you come on the pitch at the weekend, I was so proud of you.”

“I feel like a sidekick,” You muttered.

“Is that right?” Leah murmured, the smile remaining on her lips, “If you think that’s the case then I’d say you’re more the star of the show kind. You know, like Robin to Batman, Hermione to Harry… Samwise to Frodo, aye?”

Despite the mood you were in, you let out a tiny laugh, “God, Mum. You’re such a nerd sometimes.”

“Oi, don’t disrespect Samwise,” Leah grinned, before she softened her tone again, “Look, I’m afraid that you’ll meet idiots all throughout life, whether that’s college or a job, but football? That’s your passion. Nobody can take that away from you. And your family? We’re not going anywhere… even when you try to slam the door on us, and shut us out.”

“I know that Auntie Katie was trying to help, but… she’s made it bad for me at college,” You admitted, scooping a spoonful of ice cream onto the spoon, “I thought… I thought I had friends…. but instead they just wanted photos with you, and everyone else. They used me, Mum.”

“Hey… listen,” Leah exhaled a sigh, adjusting to wrap her free arm to rub your back, “Sometimes in life, you’ll come across people that will try and take advantage of things like that, and I know you thought you found some really good friends in them but real friends, Monkey? They don’t care about last names, or who your mum is, or what stadium you walked out in. Real friends care about you… regardless of a messy ponytail, pyjama day, or even a bad mood. They’d sit with you even if you never touched a football again.”

You sniffled, trying to not cry into the tub of icecream, “I thought they were my friends…”

“I know it hurts to realise this, because you let them in,” Leah explained gently, “You wanted them to see you, not just as my kid, or even the future of Arsenal… but you. And they blew it. That’s on them, not you.”

You remained silent, afraid to speak and pour out all of your emotion.

Leah squeezed your shoulder, “One day, you’ll find your people, and those people will be the ones that will scream for your goals. Not for someone else’s selfie. But until then? You’ve got us. Me, Mama, your little sister… and of course, the whole squad. You’re never going to be alone to face this on your own.”

You still didn’t trust your voice enough to answer, so you just leaned against her shoulder instead. Leah pressed a kiss to the top of your head, her hand resting warm and steady on your back.

“Tell you what,” Leah murmured, “The next time they start, you send them to me. I’ll give them my famous Williamson death stare.”

That alone, made you properly giggle, “Mum, you can’t fight my mates.

“Watch me,” Leah teased, making you snort into your spoon, “Nobody uses my girl, and gets away with it.”

“I don’t want to go back there…” You muttered, fiddling with the strings of your hoodie.

The next morning came way too quick. You sat in the passenger seat of Leah’s car, hood up and chewing the inside of your cheek like it might save you from having to walk into college.

Leah glanced over, her hand squeezing the steering wheel, “I know it seems scary, Monkey. But you’re going to be fine. And if any of those girls give you grief, then you ignore them.”

“Easier said than done,” You whispered, “I don’t see why I can’t just have the rest of the week of college. It’s not like I’m going to miss a lot of it…”

“Listen,” Leah parked outside the college gates, but didn’t switch off the engine just yet as she turned fully towards you, her hand finding yours, “You’ve got nothing to prove to them. You can’t just hide away from this. You’re better than that, my girl—you’re brave, talented… and you’ve nailed that Williamson death stare if you really need to use it.”

You snorted, cracking a smile, “I’m not sure if it’s any good as yours.”

“Practice makes perfect,” Leah winked, “Now go on in there, you’ve got this. You have nothing to prove—just be yourself. And I’ll be here at three o’clock on the dot.”

Dragging yourself out of the car felt like an entire workout, “Bye… love you,” You murmured, shoving your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and kept your eyes low as you walked through the wide-open doors.

By the afternoon, the whispers had grown teeth.

“Do you see the way she walks around here like she thinks she owns the place? What a loser,”

“Did you see Leah’s latest Instagram post? She looks awful it in,”

“She’s not pretty, or talented… I feel sorry for her family putting up with her,”

You slumped down at the table, hoodie up as you doodled spirals in your notebooks as you tried to ignore the hurtful words spouted across the room—they weren’t even trying to lower their voices anymore now.

“You know she’s adopted, right? Not even her real family wanted her. How pathetic is that?”

Your ears burned, pressing your pen harder to the page and trying to tune all the noise out. The words were painful, but if you didn’t react then they would get bored eventually… right?

The scrape of a chair snapped you out of your spiral.

“Yo,” A male voice said, “Is this seat taken?”

You looked up and your stomach sank—the lad, a tall and cocky boy with brunette hair and olive skin, otherwise known as Dlyan.

Exactly what you didn’t need.

“What do you want?” You snapped, scowling at the lad beside you as you clutched your notebook to your chest.

“Chill,” Dylan said, brows raising, “I just…” His eyes flicked sideways to where Cameron and Dami, catching their not-so-subtle snickers, “They givin’ you grief?”

“I… I’m fine,” You replied too fast, and way too sharp—defensive, always defensive, “I don’t need you to play the hero.”

“Didn’t say I was,” Dylan leaned back, pulling a battered book from his bag, “I just… well I figured that maybe you could use someone not being a knob for once.”

That stopped you cold. You blinked at him, searching for his usual cocky smirk. But this time was different, he wasn’t grinning. Instead, he was casually flipping pages and acting like it was no big deal.

“They’re not my friends anymore,” You blurted, before you could stop yourself.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Dylan didn’t look up as he scribbled in the margin, “Friends don’t act like they do. Trust me, I’ve been around enough fake ones to know.”

Your throat tightened, “Why do you even care?”

“Dunno,” Dylan shrugged his shoulders casually, “Maybe ‘cause I know what it’s like to deal with that sort of thing, don’t I? I know that it’s not fun to be the punchline of jokes.”

You continued to stare at him, still suspicious and waiting for the moment to figure out it’s a trap. But there wasn’t one. It was just Dylan sitting there, loud and annoying and being… normal.

“No, it’s not…” You admitted, barely above a whisper.

For once, Dylan didn’t push. He didn’t crack a joke or demand anything in return. He just sat there beside you, flipping through pages of his book like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Right now… maybe that was something that you exactly needed.

“Well…” Leah muttered, squinting at you through half-lidded eyes, “Apparently not our one.”

“Nope. I’m going back to sleep,” Jordan insisted, rolling away from both of you, “Christmas is cancelled until at least… eight. Feel free to wake me up when it’s time.”

“Nooo! You can’t cancel Christmas!” You gasped, genuinely offended by the mere thought of it.

“You kind of can, actually. It’s in the parenting rulebook.” Leah remarked dryly, “There’s specific ones on Christmas day.”

“That’s not a real thing!” You fired back, scandalised.

“Isn’t it?” Leah teased, her lips twitching in amusement.

“Get up! Get up—! Come on, Mum! Come on, Mama!” You insisted, bouncing on the bed with sheer excitement, “It’s Christmas morning!”

“This child of ours is relentless…” Jordan muttered, not sounding too fond—she already seemed done with the day.

Leah smiled, tugging you closer automatically and kissing your head out of a habit, “Merry Christmas, my girl… even if it is ridiculously early. How about you lie down in between us and get a bit more sleep, eh?”

“Sleep is borin’ though!” You huffed in frustration.

Right on queue, Buddy started to fuss from where she’d woken up in her cot in her own bedroom.                                                                                                                     

“And now they’re both awake,” Jordan exhaled a sigh, dragging her hands down her face, no smile or shared eye roll like usual. Just exhaustion. Pure exhaustion, “So there goes the lie in that we hoped for.”

Leah pushed the duvet back, “You didn’t really expect anything different, did you?”

Jordan didn’t answer.

“I’ll get her,” Leah added, already slipping out of bed almost a bit too quickly.

“Bed is borin’!” You protested, tugging her sleeve.

“You’ve made that very clear,” Leah murmured, grabbing a hoodie and throwing it on before disappearing into Buddy’s room.

You huffed at the blonde as she disappeared off into Buddy’s room, and you could hear her through the baby monitor, “Oooh, hi bubba… Merry Christmas! Shall we go and join Mama and your big sister, hmm?”

“Mama! Mama!” Back in Leah and Jordan’s bedroom, you were already attempting to scramble onto Leah’s side of the bed, and poke her face, “Come on, get up—-don’t be lazy!”

Jordan squinted one eye open and gave you a look, “Why are you so wide awake? It’s concerning,” She mumbled, suppressing a yawn, “C’mere, come lie down for a bit—why don’t you tell me what you think Santa’s brought you?”

“I hate Santa,” You muttered dramatically.

“Hey,” Jordan said, forcing a tiny smile, “None of that hate speech this early in the morning.”

“Look who’s ready to say Merry Christmas to her Mama,” Leah returned, Buddy in her arms, “How’s it going?” She asked, already expecting the answer to be not great.

“We’ve got a teenager who still very much hates Santa and a baby who doesn’t want to sleep,” Jordan explained, sitting up in bed and sharing a look with Leah before holding her arms out to take Buddy, “Hello there, poppet—ooh, Merry Christmas.”

“Sleep is borin’ ain’t it?” You complained, rolling your eyes as your eight month old sister tried to reach out to you with grabby hands, “Merry Christmas, gremlin!”

“Monkey,” Leah chastised, though her lips twitched in amusement, “Don’t call your sister a gremlin.”

Jordan smiled, and peppered Buddy’s face with several kisses, “Shall we go and find out what Santa has brought for you and your big sister?”

“I thought you wanted to stay in bed longer,” Leah teased lightly but it lacked its usual fondness shared between the two of them.

Jordan snorted, but it wasn’t as playful like it normally would be, “There’s clearly no chance of that happening—she’s raring to go. I just need coffee, probably a few cups before I’m able to function—”

“I’ll make it for you, Mama!” You declared proudly, hoping off the bed before either of them could stop you.

“Nooo—wait, Monkey!” Leah leapt off the bed, “Do not even think about touching that kettle, madam!”

There was a thud from outside the door.

Jordan winced, “Monkey?”

“I’m fine!” You called back quickly.

“It’s barely even six thirty in the morning and we’ve already had a crash,” Jordan rubbed her forehead, “I think that has to be a new personal record.”

“Welcome to Christmas with our teenage daughter,” Leah muttered, taking Buddy from Jordan, “We need to get up and get down there, otherwise the kitchen will look like a bomb has hit it.”

Jordan groaned in realisation, not following Leah. There was no rushing, “Right…” She mumbled, resigned.

“Monkey!” Leah hurried downstairs to find you precariously balanced on your knees, on top of the kitchen counter with your head in the cupboard hunting for a mug while the kettle boiled with no water in it and there was already coffee over the counter, “Careful, get down now—you know you’re not supposed to be on the kitchen counters,” She added, placing Buddy in her highchair.

“I’m just tryin’ to be helpful!” You exclaimed, routing through to find the perfect mug.

Before you could protest, the cupboard door swung open a little forcefully as Leah steadied it before disaster struck.

“Down, madam,” Leah promptly plucked you off the kitchen counter top, “What’ve we said about you climbing on there? It’s dangerous, you could fall and really hurt yourself.”

“I just wanted to help make Mama coffee—she needs to wake up ‘cos she looks knackered!” You insisted kindly, sticking your bottom lip out.

“That’s very kind of you to do, but we all know what you’re like in the kitchen,” Leah exhaled a sigh, “Look at this mess—right, kitchen privileges are revoked. Sit.”

You scrunched your brows together, “But—”

“Sit,” Leah repeated, sitting you down on the chair in the kitchen.

“Woof,” You shot back without a second thought, “You guys never let me do anything fun.”

Leah tutted, shaking her head as she poured water into the kettle, “Fun doesn’t entitle you to break your neck, madam.”

“Whoa!” Jordan murmured, eyes wide in alarm, “You were certainly right about the kitchen looking like a bomb’s hit it.”

You groaned, dramatically flopping over the table, “Can we open presents now? I’ve been patient and waited a long time—you’re both acting like the Grinch right now!”

“Give us ten minutes and let your Mama have the chance to have some caffeine and then we’ll be ready to open presents, yeah?” Leah said, handing Jordan a mug.

“Cheers,” Jordan mumbled, taking a sip of her coffee, “Ten? I’m gonna need at least twenty.”

You gasped dramatically, “You’re both ruining Christmas!”

Jordan smirked into her mug, “We’re parents, little one. That’s literally part of the job description.”

“This one says Monkey on it!” You squealed, sitting cross-legged on the carpet with wild bedhair, and festive Christmas pyjamas that were slightly askew, “And this one!”

“Well that’s your name, isn’t it?” Leah teased, balancing Buddy in her lap as she helped her unwrap a present of her own, “Unless you’ve suddenly decided you don’t answer to that?”

“Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t,” Jordan chimed in, muttering under her breath as she sipped her second cup of coffee.

You were too excited to open presents to pay any attention to Jordan’s words.

In the space of just half an hour, the living room like Christmas had exploded—there was torn wrapping paper everywhere, ribbon tangled around Buddy’s little feet, and the faint sound of festive music humming from the TV.

“Are you planning to announce it after every present you pick up?” Jordan asked, smirking from her spot on the sofa with her coffee mug in hand but it didn’t carry the same tone that it usually did.

“Duh—oh my god! Oh my god!” You squealed in excitement, seeing the content inside of the wrapping paper, “It’s the LEGO that I saw in the shop that I wanted—You actually got it!”

Leah grinned knowingly but only in your direction, “Did you ever doubt us?”

“I love it!” You squealed, hugging the box close to your chest, “It’s the one—this is the one I’ve been wanting for ages!”

“I take it you’re happy with that one then?” Jordan barely reacted, taking a slow sip of her coffee before raising an eyebrow.

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you!” You practically bounced in excitement.

“So glad that we paid attention when you were begging for it in the shop,” Leah said with a laugh.

“You wouldn’t let me buy it myself when I saw it,” You shot back.

“And now you know why,” Jordan remarked, she didn’t laugh or nudge her—she just stared at her mug for a beat too long.

“Plenty more to open, my girl,” Leah reminded you, brushing Buddy’s hair back from her forehead.

You didn’t waste time tearing into the next present, “Whoa—no way! I love it!” You shouted again, halfway through ripping into it.

“You like it?” Jordan wondered, amused.

“I love it! Thank you!” You said gleefully, clutching your brand new hoodie in your hands.

“You like the wrapping paper, huh, bubba?” Leah cooed down at Buddy, who was trying to eat the shiny paper, “Forget the presents, we could’ve just given her this and she’d have been thrilled.”

You giggled as you pulled the tag of your new hoodie and chucked it on, “She’s got all of these new toys to play with… and she wants to play with the paper.”

“She’s a baby. That’s what fascinates her,” Leah said, smiling softly.

“You’re not supposed to eat it, tiny toes,” You added, reaching to gently pull the ribbon from your baby sister's mouth.

Jordan gave a non-committal hum, not looking up before she pushed a box towards you, “Here, little open. Open this one.”

“What is it?” You asked, furrowing your brows together, ripping the present open, “No way! A Nintendo Switch?! Seriously? I’ve been wanting one of these forever! Thank you!”

“You must’ve been on Santa’s nice list,” Leah tried to tease.

“Even if I got suspended from school?” You grinned sheepishly.

Leah hummed in agreement, “Even then. He’s watching all of the time, remember.”

“Santa clearly thinks you’ve redeemed yourself,” Jordan forced a wink.

“I still don’t like ‘im though,” You muttered, already tearing into the next bit of wrapping paper, “Can I set my switch up now?”

“There’s plenty more to open, but you can in a bit,” Jordan replied, keen to see your reaction to the next present.

“Alright—but can I take it out with us? I have to show J and ‘Enj!” You insisted, hopeful of agreement.

Leah hummed and nodded solemnly, “That’s fine, as long as you’re careful with it, alright?” She said, giving you the classic mum look.

You were pretty clumsy when it came to most things.

“Deal—whoa! Mario Kart!” You exclaimed, rushing to rip open the next wrapped present, “Thank you!”

“Might want to open the present on your right next, little one,” Jordan said, nodding towards a long rectangular box, “This’ll go with it.”

You tore into it instantly, “A steering wheel? Awesome!”

“Apparently, this one is top of the range at the moment,” Jordan explained, proud of herself, “We asked the man himself, who was certain about it. He said it was the best.”

“Cool!” You squealed in excitement, “Thanks, Mum! Thanks, Mama—hold on, wait a minute… now you two need to open yours!”

Leah blinked confused, “Wait… you got us presents?”

“Duh!” You said, grinning ear to ear, “Nana took me and Buddy out the other day to pick them!” You scrambled to grab the small stash of gifts that you’d tucked behind the sofa out of eyeview.

“Nana took you out?” Leah furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Oh! So that’s why she was being all mysterious last week, she was insistent to have you both for the day—but she told me that she was just running errands.”

“Yeah, she was! She was running errands with us!” You insisted with excited, wide-eyes, “We went shopping to look—you guys always get me… well, actually both of us stuff. So we wanted to get you presents this year, so it’s like… equal, right?”

Jordan smiled in amusement, “Equality, huh? Look at that, we’re teaching her about social justice, and gift-giving now.”

“Exactly,” You said seriously, though the wide grin on your face ruined the effect, “Okay, Mum. You open yours first!”

Leah carefully opened the red and gold silver wrapping paper, “Oh, Monkey. You didn’t have too…”

“Shh, yes I did! Open it! Open it!” You urged, wanting to see her reaction.

Inside it was a mug that read ‘Worlds’ Best Mum (Even When She’s Grumpy) in bold red letters along with a photo on it, of the two of you when you were about nine or ten, and kicking the ball around in the park.

Jordan snorted, “Oh, that’s the perfect mug for you, Le.”

“World’s best Mum…” Leah held it up, pretending to glare at you even if you couldn’t stop smiling, “Even when she’s grumpy, huh? Cheeky Monkey.”

“It’s true though! You can’t deny it!” You shot back, cheekily, “Nana helped me pick it up. I know you don’t like hot drinks, but…  do you like it?”

“Like it?” Leah said, her voice softening, “Oh, my girl. I absolutely love it,” She leaned forward  and pulled you into a tight hug, “You’re such a sweetheart. I’ll be sure to use it as much as possible!”

Jordan snorted, raising her phone, “I think I’m going to take a picture of this. Smile, Le—look sentimental.”

Leah didn’t look directly at you, tucked the mug aside and brushed your hair back fondly, “Thank you, my girl. I love it.”

“There’s another one, Mum!” You insisted, “I made sure to pick this one extra carefully!” You added, handing her another present.

“Ooh, what is it?” Leah wondered, tearing the paper as she gasped, “Oh, Monkey. Wow. I love it,” She held up the vinyl record in her hand.

“I thought you would like it ‘cos you like country music,” You explained proudly, “I thought you could play it inside of the house…”

“That’s a perfect idea,” Leah said warmly, “I really do love it.”

“Alright then, now it’s Mama turn,” Leah said, nudging Jordan faintly—the two of them actually touching for a brief moment, “Let’s see what she got.”

“Oh I wonder,” Jordan murmured, opening the present carefully as it revealed a replica mug like Leah’s but instead, it read ‘‘World’s Best Mama (Even If She Thinks She’s Funny)" in bold red letters along with a photo with you and Jordan, the two of you when you were about nine or ten, and you had the opportunity to be Jordan's mascot.

Jordan’s jaw dropped, “Excuse me—I am funny, madam!”

“It’s true, Mama!” You grinned, proud of yourself, “You laugh at your own jokes more than anyone else does.”

“She definitely does,” Leah added instantly, smirking, “It’s actually embarrassing sometimes.”

Jordan gasped, “How rude.”

“There’s another one!” You said quickly, “These are football socks—’cos you always complain that your feet are cold in the mornings.”

“That’s actually really sweet, little one,” Jordan softened instantly, “Thank you.”

“Wait, wait… there’s more!” You insisted, reaching for two presents in a different style of wrapping paper, “These ones are from Buddy, but me and Nana helped obviously ‘cos she’s just a baby—these ones are joint tho ‘cos I ran out of ideas.”

“Let’s see it then,” Leah reached for the first present, tearing the corner carefully, “Oh… I love it,” She murmured, keeping her voice soft. There was no shared look with Jordan when she said it—she just kept her eyes on the bauble, “Buddy’s little hands… this is gorgeous!”

Jordan offered a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “That is so lovely, Monkey.”

“Thank you, bubba,” Leah cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to Buddy’s head, “And thank you for helping her make it, sweetheart.”

“Don’t forget about this one either,” You reminded them, holding out the next present. 

Inside it was a plaque with ‘Love’ in the form of Buddy’s hand and footprint, along with her name and date at the bottom.

Jordan inhaled quietly, “Oh wow… I love it.”

“Me too,” Leah replied, brushing her thumb over the corner of it though she still wasn’t looking at Jordan entirely, “We’ll hang it up. I know exactly where it can go.”

“One for the tree… and one for the wall,” You grinned triumphantly, “Oh! There’s also some from me and Buddy!”

“There’s more?” Jordan asked, surprised as she raised an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh!” You eagerly handed over the items, “I couldn’t afford jewellery ‘cos I don’t have a job yet but one day…”

Jordan tore open the wrapping paper as her breath caught, “Oh… this is beautiful.”

“What is it?” Leah questioned, leaning over to look closer as her eyes became a little glossy, “That is a lovely present, my girl.”

“I thought it could go on the tree,” You stated proudly, “To make a memory of our first Christmas together.”

“I love that idea, little one,” Jordan murmured, kissing your head, then Buddy’s but she didn’t shift closer to Leah, like she normally would.

“And this one as well!” You shoved the biggest present in their hands, “It’s me, you two, Buddy and Blu! ‘Cos we can’t forget him.”

Leah took the reins on this one, peeling back the wrapping paper before she gasped softly—inside it was a framed drawing that has been created with hearts and all of your names underneath it—Leah, Jordan, you, Buddy, and Blu the family dog with the words ‘Our Family’ above it.

“Oh, Monkey,” Leah swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, “I love it. I absolutely love it.”

“You do?” You asked, watching her closely, curious if she was just saying it.

“One hundred percent!” Leah said confidently, wiping a tear quickly, “I absolutely love both of them.”

“See? Told you I’m thoughtful,” You stated proudly.

Leah let out a watery laugh and pulled you closer, “You did amazing, my girl. These will be treasured forever.”

“Yes,” Jordan nodded, a single tear slipping free as she stared at the frame, “You did so good, little one. These are… perfect,” Her voice cracked, though she still was yet to even glance in Leah’s direction.

You squinted at her, “You’re not gonna cry, are you, Mama? That’s Mum’s job, usually.”

“Oi, cheeky,” Leah laughed faintly.

“What? It’s the truth!” You insisted.

“Nope,” Jordan sniffled, wiping her face and trying to play it off, “It’s just… allergies. Might be the tree shedding or something.”

Leah smirked but it didn’t fully land like normal—you noticed it falter halfway through,  “Sure, Allergies… that’s what we all say.”

Only this time, unlike normal, Jordan didn’t joke back but instead, she just looked down at the drawing.

The silence after that wasn’t cosy or soft.

It was just… thick.

And strange.

However, even with your excitement, it felt entirely unsettling.

“Are we there yet?” You whined from the back seat, slumped dramatically against the window as the car pulled off the driveway.

“We’ve only just left our house, little one,” Jordan said, glancing at you through the rear view mirror. Her smile looked real, however her eyes looked tired—in a typical way that grown ups get when they’re pretending they slept more than five hours, “At least wait until we’re on the motorway before you start to complain, eh?”

“But I’m bored—an’ the car is cramped!” You questioned impatiently, kicking your feet against the seat, “How much longer until we’re there?”

Leah twisted in her seat, giving you her classic look, “It’ll be forty minutes. Do you think you can be patient for that long?”

“Forty minutes? That’s like… forever!” You complained, astounded at the thought of being in the car for that long—you’d definitely had longer car journeys, but your impatience always got the better of you.

Jordan laughed, but it sounded a bit hollow,  “I think that answers your question, Le.”

“Time will pass before you know it,” Leah replied, failing to smile back in the way she usually did, “I’m sure you can find something to occupy your time with for now, hm?”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “I don’t think so, I’m so bored—I’m hungry. Can I have some chocolate?”

“No,” Leah replied without even glancing back, ”You’ll spoil your dinner.”

“But I’m starvin’!” You argued dramatically, “I’m a growing girl, Mum—I need to eat!”

Jordan exhaled a soft sigh, keeping her eyes on the road, “I’m sure you’ll survive until we get there, little one.”

“I don’t think so—I’ll starve before we get to Milton Keynes!” You whined in a sulk.

“You’re being ridiculous, madam,” Leah murmured, rubbing her temple, “You’ve already eaten breakfast this morning, then you’ve had extra… not to mention you’ve already eaten some chocolate from your selection box. I think you’ll survive.”

You huffed, scrunching your brows together, “I’m not convinced there…” You turned to Buddy, who seemed to be delighted with gnawing on her toy giraffe, “What do you think, tiny toes? Aren’t they being so unfair?”

“Ooh, I’m sure she’s definitely going to agree with you,” Jordan teased as she focused on the road upfront.

“Mummy and Mama are trying to starve me, it’s outrageous, right?” You announced gravely.

Buddy babbled something incoherent in response that sounded like she was somewhat agreed.

“See? Even Buddy agrees with me!” You said, triumphant, “... So, can I have some chocolate now?”

Leah exhaled a sigh, “My answer still remains the same, Monkey. No chocolate.”

“Ugh!” You slouched back in your seat, “No fair!”

“Life’s not always fair, little one,” Jordan said lightly, “You’ll cope without chocolate for now.”

You groaned loudly, “Are we there yet?”

“Not since the last time you asked ten minutes ago,” Leah muttered under her breath.

“I’m bored!” You complained aloud, making your feelings perfectly clear about how you felt.

“Hi, bored,” Jordan didn’t miss a beat, “I’m Mama. Nice to meet you.”

Leah stifled a laugh but it didn’t quite land like normal, “Jord…”

“You’re not funny,” You mumbled, unimpressed.

“I know,” Jordan smirked, “I’m hilarious.”

“Ugh! You’re so annoying—an’ I’m still bored!” You groaned, tilting your head back, “How much longer until we’re there?”

“Hi, still bored,” Jordan remarked, amused, “I’m still Mama.”

“The mug was right. Maybe I should’ve gotten you a dads’ joke book for Christmas instead,” Leah joked, giving a small shake of her head. Nonetheless it was a tiring one.

“No need, Le,” Jordan answered with a forced grin, “I’m naturally gifted.”

“More like naturally annoying,” You muttered, slouching deeper into your seat.

“Aye, madam,” Leah chided, turning around in her seat to face you, “Alright, very well… if you’re going to keep whining then how about we play a game to pass the game?”

You perked up instantly, “A game? Like what?”

“Hmm,” Leah pretended to ponder her thoughts, “How about… the quiet game?”

“That’s like, so lame!” You huffed, staring at her in disbelief, “Can’t we play something better instead?”

“Have you got any better ideas?” Jordan asked, stealing a glance in the rear-view mirror.

“I spy!” You declared without much thought.

“Alright, we’ll play that,” Leah agreed, “You can start.”

You grinned mischievously, “Cool—I spy with my little eye, something… red!”

“Red?” Jordan squinted, “The air freshener?”

“Nope!” You beamed a coy grin.

“The presents in the gift bag?” Leah tried her luck.

“Nuh-uh. Wrong again!” You smirked, loving every second of it.

“Buddy’s coat?” Jordan wondered, cluelessly.

“Nope,” You said in amusement, “Not even close!”

“Something red?” Leah asked, utterly confused as she glanced around, “Monkey, there’s not much else in here that’s red.”

You grinned smugly, “Do you give up?”

“I do,” Jordan said immediately.

“No, no, not yet…” Leah shook her head, not quite ready to give up guessing yet, because she hated losing, and you knew that, “Is it the road sign that we just passed?”

“Nope,” You remarked proudly, “You know, you two are both terrible at this game.”

“Alright then, Einstein,” Leah said, exhaling a sigh, “I give up—go on then… what is it?”

“Well…” You grinned wickedly, “It’s Mums’ face when she’s mad about losing a game!”

“Brilliant,” Jordan burst out laughing, slapping the steering wheel—a real laugh this time around, “I’d have never have thought of that!”

“Oh, you little…” Leah blinked slowly in disbelief, “You are such a menace sometimes, you know that?”

You just giggled, utterly proud of yourself, “I know! That’s why you love me!”

“I can see Nana and Grandad’s house—I can see it!” You cheered, recognising the road as you were more than eager to escape the confines of the car, “Let me out! Let me out!”

“Patience, my girl…” Leah murmured, forcing a small smile. The kind she used when she was trying her hardest to sound normal, “At least let Mama stop the car first before you try to escape, huh?”

“We’re here… finally!” You exclaimed with your nose practically pressed to the glass, “We’re here!”

“Finally,” Jordan echoed, although her tone carried that flatness that you had been hearing all morning, “I don’t think I could handle anymore of your complaints.”

“Cheer up, grumpy—it’s Christmas!” Leah teased, unbuckling her seatbelt—only, Jordan didn’t smile back the way she normally would.

“Yeah, Mama… cheer up, ‘cos it’s Christmas!” You sang, way too close to Jordan's ear.

Jordan flinched slightly, “Monkey, that was right down my ear…” She rubbed it, forcing a smirk, “I’ll give you cheer up, little one—oh, looks like your Mum’s already waiting at the door.”

Sure enough, Amanda was standing waving in the doorway of her home in a festive Christmas jumper, and a big smile on her face.

“Nana!” You screeched, already halfway out of your seatbelt.

“I guess we’re just chopped liver,” Leah joked, turning to look at Jordan for a shared joke like they always used to do.

Only this time, Jordan didn’t meet her eyes.

Leah frowned in sudden realisation, “I’ll get Buddy out of the car. You and Monkey can grab the presents?”

“Sounds good with me,” Jordan agreed, opening her door.

You groaned dramatically, “Do I hafta?”

“Come on,” Jordan said, reaching into the boot, “There’s not a lot to get out. I promise I won’t even make you carry the heavy ones.”

“Fine,” You muttered, dragging your feet.

“Merry Christmas!” Amanda called as Leah carried Buddy over.

“Hiya, Mum! Merry Christmas!” Leah murmured, forcing a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Nana!” You squealed, sprinting towards her.

“Monkey, I thought you were going to help me with the presents!” Jordan grumbled, doing her best to juggle a pile of presents.

“Nanas’ more important!” You yelled back over your shoulder.

“I guess I’ll… just carry them myself then,” Jordan muttered, shooting Leah a look.

Leah snorted, “I’m afraid you’ve lost her…”

Amanda laughed, opening her arms wide, “Merry Christmas, darling girl. Did you get any nice presents?”

“Yeah! Loads of ‘em!” You grinned proudly.

“Good I’m glad… and there’s plenty more to open in here,” Amanda said before turning her attention to your infant sister, “Oh, there’s Nana’s angel. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

“I’m afraid that she’s a bit fussy this morning,” Leah said softly, rocking Buddy in her arms, “Hasn’t napped at all.”

“Oh, is that so? Are we being fussy for your Mummies’ hm?” Amanda cooed, reaching for your baby sister with eased practice, “Come in… come in out of the cold.”

Jordan joined them late, “Merry Christmas, Amanda.”

“Merry Christmas, Jord,” Amanda replied warmly.

Before anyone could say anymore, there was a familiar voice shouting aloud from upstairs.

“Are they here yet? Are they here yet? You’re here!” Jacob rushed down the stairs, beaming a wide grin as he spotted all of you, “Monkey!”

“Hi, J. Merry Christmas!” Leah said with a kind smile.

“Monkey!” Jacob beamed.

“J!” You shouted back, dashing straight to him.

“Oh, wow… just forget I exist, huh?” Leah teased knowingly, “Guess I’ll just keep your Christmas presents then.”

Amanda laughed, “You know what those two are like together.”

“Come on!” Jacob insisted, tugging your arm, “Come and check out my new game I got! You have to see it!”

“Alright—I’m going upstairs with J!” You announced, halfway to the stairs already.

“Not so fast,” Leah called before you had a chance to disappear, “Say hello to Grandad first.”

You groaned, “Urgh… fine!”

“Go on…” Leah said firmly, motioning you in the direction of the living room.

“Hi, Grandad, Merry Christmas—there, I said it,” You insisted, turning to look back towards Leah, “Now can I go upstairs?”

Leah gave you a well-known look, “That’s… that’s not what I meant, Monkey.”

“Come on, Monks’!” Jacob started to pull you in the direction of the stairs,”Come on! Wait until you see it!”

“Can I go up now? Please, Mum!” You begged.

“Fine, alright… go on, then,” Leah exhaled a sigh with a tiny smile.

“Go on you two,” Amanda chuckled, “Dinner won’t be for a while yet. What’re those two like, huh?”

“Two peas in a pod,” Leah murmured fondly, shaking her head, “I’m not surprised. They’ve been like that ever since they met.”

“Ah! I thought that it was our Monkey that I heard,” David appeared in the hallway, making a beeline for Leah straightaway, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart!”

“Merry Christmas, Dad!” Leah greeted, exchanging a hug with the man, “I did tell her to come down and say hello properly, but… you know what she’s like—oh, is that a new jumper? It’s… an interesting choice.”

“Don’t worry about it. She’s just excited, there’ll be plenty of time to see her in a bi” David reassured her honestly with a kind, genuine smile, “Oh, yes! Your Mum brought it for me—do you like it?”

“Uh… well,” Leah hesitated, taking her coat off, “It’s definitely you—?”

Jordan snorted, “Suits you, David.”

“See? It’s not so bad—thank you, Jord!” David stated, exchanging a hug with Jordan, “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, David!” Jordan replied, smiling genuinely for once. 

“Oh, and here’s Grandad’s number one girl,” David cooed, reaching out to stroke Buddy’s cheek, “Oh no, what’s with that frown now, huh? We can’t have you frowning like that on Christmas day, can we?”

“She’s a bit grumpy,” Leah briefly explained as they all made their way into the living room, draped in Christmas decorations with a beautifully lit tree taking centre stage.

“Ah, I see, I see,” David understood, reaching to take Buddy from his wife, “Ooh, are you coming to Grandad for a cuddle, yeah petal? There we go, hey. Now tell me… are you having a good Christmas?”

Leah laughed, settling on the sofa “We’ll we’ve successfully tried to eat all of the wrapping paper this morning, haven’t we, bubba? Starting to think we’d have saved money alone with that.”

“So, how has it been so far?” Amanda wondered, curiously.

“Chaotic,” Leah admitted, the tiredness visible in her eyes, “Monkey woke up at what was it… six?”

“Six twenty-three, to be precise,” Jordan corrected with a faint smirk that showed the exhaustion seeping in.

David winced, “Yikes. She must’ve been excited then.”

“And then she attempted to make Jord coffee,” Leah added dryly, “Which resulted in her trying to climb up the kitchen worktops.”

“Again?” Amanda gasped, “You’ve already had words with her about that before.”

“Yes, several times,” Leah sighed, rubbing her eyes, “She’s had her kitchen privileges provoked.”

“It’s all the excitement, isn’t it?” David said with a cheerful smile, gently bouncing Buddy in his arms, “Did she like her presents?”

“She loved them,” Leah smiled, “And speaking of presents… thanks for your help with ours, Mum. I love them.”

“Yeah, thanks Amanda,” Jordan added, “They’re perfect.”

Amanda beamed a smile, “She was adamant she wanted to get you both perfect gifts.”

“She did brilliantly,” Leah said, “She couldn’t have picked better.”

“There’ll be plenty of time to open the ones’ we’ve got here for her when she comes downstairs,” David chuckled, “I can’t wait to see her face when she opens them.”

“And how’s little madam been—?” Amanda wondered, gesturing to your eight month old sister, “Other than trying to eat the wrapping paper, did she like her presents?”

“Oh, well… I think she took more interest in the paper than the toys,” Leah said, shaking her head, “Time will tell.”

“That’s to be expected of course at her age,” David said warmly.

“Yeah, she’s obsessed with anything that she can grab and put in her mouth at this point,” Jordan grinned, “The baubles and lights on the tree haven’t stood a chance,” Jordan

“Still trying to eat everything, huh? She’s just like Leah was when she was at that age. Couldn’t leave anything alone,” David remarked, shooting Leah a playful look.

“That explains a lot,” Jordan smirked in amusement.

Amanda laughed, shaking her head, “Your Grandma will be arriving shortly, and I think she’s looking forward to seeing both of the girls.”

“And with a bit of luck,” David added, “She’ll have brought more mince pies.”

“Monkey’s just beatin’ my high score!” Jacob’s voice rang from upstairs, shouting dramatically.

“Can’t help if you’re a sore loser!” You shot back, not resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at him.

“Well it sounds like those two are having fun at least,” Amanda noted, smiling fondly in the living room as Buddy was settled on her lap, gumming on the ear of her beloved teddy, Mr Bear, though there was a faint tiredness in her eyes, as she started to whine on Amanda’s lap, “Oh… I think someone wants their mummy.”

“Oh, what’s the matter, bubba?” Leah reached her arms out immediately, softening her voice, “You’re just very tired now, aren’t you? There’s so much excitement going on. Everyone’s coming round and you don’t know what to do, do you?”

The noise of the doorbell broke up the conversation.

“Oh! That’ll be your Grandma,” Amanda said knowingly.

“I’ll get it,” Leah replied, rocking your baby sister in her arms as she headed for the door, “Shall we go and see who’s at the door, bubba? I wonder who it could be…”

Leah pulled the door open with a grin, “Look, it’s Grandma Berny!”

“Hello, my lovely,” Berny’s face lit up, “And if it isn’t Grandma’s little Christmas pudding! Oh, don’t you look adorable?” She cooed, reaching for the eight month old.

“Merry Christmas, Grandma!” Leah said cheerfully, using her free arm to envelope the older woman in a hug, before she peered down at the baby in her arms, “You want to go to Grandma for a cuddle?”

“Oh, come here, darling,” Berny said, eagerly accepting the whimpering infant as she kept her voice sweet and warm, “Are you having a good Christmas? I bet you are!”

“Is there anything you want me to take into the kitchen?” Leah offered kindly.

“If you could, thanks my lovely. There’s mince pies in the tin, along with a christmas pudding,” Berny explained, handing the bag over to Leah with her free hand, “Did your Mummies spoil you absolutely rotten?”

“She’s been spoiled. They both have,” Leah laughed, “I apologise if we don’t get much conversation out of my eldest girl though. She’s hooked to her Nintendo Switch at the minute.”

“I don’t doubt that for a second,” Berny grinned, faintly bouncing the infant in her arms, “Speaking of Monkey, where is she?”

“Upstairs with J. The second we arrived she bolted up there—something about a new game that he wanted to show her,” Leah told her with a small laugh, stepping into the kitchen, “We’ve heard the commotion every so often, but no crying yet so nothing to be alarmed about.”

Berny chuckled, following Leah into the kitchen, “I see, did she like her presents? I’ll pop these ones under the tree for them to open later,” She gestured to another bag of presents, “Now, where’s your parents, and that lovely girlfriend of yours?”

Leah hesitated for a brief second.

However, it was certainly long enough for Berny to notice the tiny frown that flickered across her face, “Leah?” Her voice softened, the slightest frown forming, “What is it, my lovely?”

For a moment, it looked like Leah was going to say something else. Her mouth opened, then closed again, and her shoulders tensed with her eyes flickering towards the doorway where Jordan was still in the living room with Leah’s parents—loudly chattering away like always.

Berny stepped closer, lowering her voice, “Come on, darling,” She murmured gently, “I’ve been your Grandma for too many years to miss when something’s sitting heavy on your chest. What’s the matter?”

“I… I think,” Leah swallowed, staring down at the tin of mince pies on the counter, blinking hard, “I think me and Jord might be splitting up.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Berny’s whole expression softened, laying a steady hand on Leah’s arm, “I’m so sorry to hear that. When… When did all of this start?”

Leah swallowed the lump that began to form in her throat, “It’s been a while. Longer than I want to admit,” She whispered, rubbing her palms together, “We’re not… fighting. It’s not ugly. We’ve just… stopped fitting together, I guess?”

“I understand,” Berny squeezed her arm, nodding slowly, “And does the rest of the family know?”

“No,” Leah shook her head far too quickly, “No, God, no. We agreed to pretend everything is normal. Just for today. Just… for Christmas.”

Berny’s eyes softened even more, “Oh, Le…”

“We’re keeping things normal… for Monkey’s sake,” Leah whispered, “She’s had such a good morning. And Buddy… she doesn’t understand any of this. I don’t want her first Christmas to be messy.”

“Oh my darling,” Berny murmured, pulling her into her embrace, “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“I just didn’t want the whole day to feel tense,” Leah admitted, her voice cracking once again, “But Monkey knows there’s something wrong, she’s a smart kid sometimes. She can put the pieces together—you know she didn’t want an advent calendar because she was worried about us needing to save money?”

Berny’s face tightened with a quiet ache, “Oh, sweetheart…” She whispered, brushing Leah’s hair back, “That’s a heavy thing for a girl her age to be worrying about.”

“I… I know,” Leah let out a shaky exhale, her eyes glossy but there was determination to not break entirely, “I don’t want her to know the truth. Not yet. She shouldn’t have to think about money… or us splitting up—the only thing she should be thinking about is the fun stuff, right? Her excitement over LEGO, playing games on her console and… football in the garden. Not whether or not her parents can afford Christmas… or whether we’re… falling apart.”

“Everything is going to be okay,” Berny reassured, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple, “Monkey worries because she loves you, she’s finally got something that feels stable and the whole idea of change terrifies her. That does not mean you’re failing her, though.”

“It feels like I am,” Leah whispered, clenching her jaw, “She has finally had a proper Christmas and I’m just… lying through my teeth so I don’t ruin it.”

“You’re not lying,” Berny said softly, “You’re protecting her. That’s the difference. You’re choosing the right moment, and the right way. You’re a good Mum, not a dishonest one. You’re doing the best you can for both of your girls.”

Leah blinked hard, her breath hitching, “I just… I hate pretending like everything is fine when it isn’t. I hate… walking around feeling like I’m holding glass that’s about to shatter at any sudden wrong movement.”

“But you’re not doing it alone,” Berny reminded her gently, tightening her arms around Leah, “You have all of us. And Jordan won’t abandon you just because you two are splitting up—-she would never do that. She loves those girls more than life. And you.”

“I wanted Christmas to feel normal,” Leah murmured, her voice cracking further, “For the girls. For everyone. I just needed one day… where we didn’t feel broken.”

“And you’re giving them that,” Berny assured her, cupping her cheek, “Those girls love you and Jordan a lot—you’re both their world. They feel loved, and they feel safe. That is on both of you—it’s got nothing to do with what is going to happen, they’ll be happy regardless because of how you are managing it.”

Leah sniffled, trying to regain her composure as footsteps approached faintly from the hallway, “I don’t want my parents knowing about this either. Not… not yet.”

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation,” Berny murmured, squeezing her arms gently, “You get to choose the moment, Le. Not Christmas. Not in front of the girls.”

Leah nodded, exhaling a shaky breath as she steadied herself—she lifted her shoulders, straightened her posture and she masked her emotions, “Okay,” She whispered, “I’m fine. I can do this. Today is Christmas. Today is about family.”

“What’re you two talking about in here?” Amanda wandered into the kitchen, gently stroking Buddy’s cheek as the eight month old rested her head on Berny’s shoulder, “Hope there’s no scheming to steal all the Quality Street’s?” She joked.

Before Leah could answer, your loud shouting erupted from upstairs, “Jacob’s crying because he’s a sore loser!”

“I am not!” Jacob shouted back, paired with a loud thud.

“Oh, that sounds like trouble—that’s my queue to go and sort it out.” Leah said, shaking her head, “Are you okay with Buddy? Or I can give her to Jordan?”

“I’m okay with this little sweetheart,” Berny cooed to your baby sister in her arms, “We’ll be just fine.”

“Okay,” Leah murmured.

Berny gave Leah a knowing squeeze of her hand before she left the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Amanda questioned, suspiciously.

“It’s not my place, love,” Berny answered honestly, bouncing your baby sister in her arms, “I’m sure Leah will tell you when she’s ready though.”

Amanda didn’t look entirely convinced but nodded regardless, “Alright, okay… I trust she’ll talk to me when the time comes.”

Hearing the further commotion, Leah headed upstairs and peered her head into Jacob’s bedroom, finding you both sitting on Jacob’s bed with Xbox controllers, squabbling like normal, “Hey, hey,” She got your immediate attention, “What’s going on up here? We can hear the commotion from downstairs.”

“Mum! J’s crying about the fact he’s losing his game!” You laughed, wickedly, “And it’s hilarious!”

“I am not!” Jacob protested, “All I’m saying is—”

“All he’s saying,” You cut in cheekily, “Is that he’s a sore loser who can’t handle the truth—face it, J! That’s the obvious truth!”

“Monkey,” Leah warned with a pointed look.

“What?” You blinked innocently.

“That’s not very kind to say,” Leah said firmly but gently, “I think it’s a wise idea for you both to take a break from the game for now. Grandma’s arrived and she wants to see you.”

“Grandma’s here!” You immediately leapt up from the bed, abandoning the controller on the bed and racing down the stairs.

Leah grimaced, “Careful on the stairs, Monkey!”

“I’m fine!” You insisted, jumping off the bottom step and dashing into the living room, “Grandma!”

“Oh! There she is!” Berny beamed, now settled on the sofa as you did nothing more than launch yourself on her, “Hello, darling. Merry Christmas!”

“Hi!” You chirped, wrapping your arms around her and resting your head on her shoulder for a brief second, “Did you bring presents?”

“Monkey,” Jordan chided, shaking her head.

“She’s alright,” Berny chuckled, wrapping her free arm around you, “She’s just getting straight to the point, aren’t you? I did bring presents, but you’ll just have to wait and open them after dinner.”

“That’s so long to wait! Why can’t I open them now?” You groaned, impatient as ever.

“Oi, madam. Watch that attitude,” Leah caught the tail-end of the conversion as she walked into the living room, “I believe the correct word you’re looking for is ‘thank you Grandma’.”

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “I don’t have an attitude.”

Berny laughed in amusement, “Oh, she sounds like you did at her age.”

“Grandma,” Leah said, exasperated but she still managed half a smile.

“Don’t Grandma me, sweetheart. You know you were exactly the same,” Berny teased fondly.

“See? It’s genetic—duh!” You stated proudly, “I’m cheeky ‘cos of you!”

Jordan’s smile faltered, “Uh-huh, that’s a very… scientific reasoning there, little one.”

“I’m just sayin’ that it’s not my fault—it’s in the DNA!” You argued with her.

“Umm,” Leah exhaled a small sigh, trying not to laugh, “That’s not quite how DNA works, remember?”

You blinked in sudden realisation, “Oh… right, course… I remember now,” You muttered sheepishly.

“Doesn’t matter, darling,” Berny chuckled, patting your shoulder, “You’ve got all your Mums’ traits anyway—maybe not DNA, but definitely her attitude… and stubbornness.”

“Wow! Thanks, Grandma,” Leah deadpanned.

“Your Grandma is right, bubba,” Amanda chimed in with an amused glint in her eye, “Regardless of looks, Monkey is a miniature version of you.”

“That’s going to come back and bite us one day,” Jordan remarked, shaking her head.

“Can I have one of those mince pies, please?” You piped up, “The ones’ that Grandma made!” 

“We’re going to have dinner first, darling,” Amanda reminded you in a gentle tone of voice, “Dinner first and then pudding, remember?”

“Ugh! Everyone keeps saying not yet—it’s Christmas! You’re supposed to say yes!” You insisted with a pout, “I even said please, as well!”

Leah narrowed her eyebrow, giving you a look that needed nothing more to it, “Monkey.”

“I didn’t even do anything then…” You argued, even though you definitely did.

“Really?” Leah murmured, while you were still on the receiving end of that look, “I don’t think that’s true, my girl.”

You looked away, biting back a smile. You weren’t trying to be bad—not really, at least. It was more like your brain and your mouth just…  didn't always sync up. Words slipped out of your mouth, unfiltered, before you could stop it.

And truthfully? You knew you could somewhat get away with it. You knew Leah wouldn’t yell and Jordan wouldn’t snap. Amanda would always sigh softly and Berny always had a soft spot for you. 

You weren’t testing them because you wanted to hurt anyone—-more so, you just wanted the clarification that love didn’t have any limits. No matter how whiny, cheeky, or fidgety you got… you’d still belong.

And every time, they proved you did.

Time and time again, even when you got expelled from school.

“C’mere, Monkey,” Leah said softly.

Your eyes widened in panic, shifting from Berny’s lap, “Am I in trouble?”

“No, of course not,” Leah said, pulling you in gently, “You know we’re not saying no to ruin the fun, but you don’t want to spoil your appetite with dinner being so soon, do you?”

“... No,” You pouted in disappointment, “But mince pies are the best part of Christmas.”

“That might be true, sweetheart,” Leah smiled, “And Grandma’s made plenty of them so you won’t miss out on any. It’s important that you eat dinner first, you know this madam.”

“I just want one of them… and I’ll still eat my dinner after, promise!” You insisted, wishfully, “And I’ve not even crossed my fingers this time, either!”

Jordan snorted in amusement, “Dinner first, and then a mince pie, little one… as long as you eat all of your dinner first. That’s the deal.”

“You know the rules now, Monkey,” Amanda piped in, amusedly.

“Rules suck,” You muttered in disagreement.

“Hey,” Leah said gently, tilting your chin up, “Don’t be rude, please. You might not like them, but they’re there for a reason.”

“Look what happened last year when you said the same thing, and didn’t eat much of your dinner,” Amanda reminded you gently.

“That’s ‘cos last year the roast potatoes were too big!” You protested, huffing.

“Little one, they’re the same size every year,” Jordan grinned, “You just decided that pudding was better to eat first, hmm?”

“Then someone made them too filing!” You argued again.

The whole room broke out into soft laughter and you couldn't help but smile cheekily, even through your stubborn act. Leah reached out, hooking a finger under your chin again, tilting your face up towards her, “You finished?”

You sighed, defeated but not quite ready to admit it, “Maybe.”

“Good answer,” Leah said, smiling, “Now come on, let’s be helpful and help Nana set the table.”

“Why meeeee?” You complained, definitely not liking the idea of that.

“Becuase you’re the best helper,” Amanda teased, “And because Nana doesn’t take no for an answer.”

The doorbell rang at that moment, causing your head to turn towards the door.

“I’ll get it!” Jacob ran for it.

“That’s ‘Enj—-an’ Holly!” You started, attempting to make a break for it.

“Not so fast, Monkey,” Leah said, catching your arm, “Nana needs your help first.”

“But Muuuuuuum! I want to answer the door to them as well!” You protested against the idea.

“You’ll still get to see them once you’ve helped,” Leah said in a calm tone of voice, “Go on… the sooner you do it, then the sooner it’s done.”

“Urgh!” You groaned, tilting your head back dramatically.

“Hey, less of the attitude, madam,” Jordan warned, surprising even Leah that they were on the same page, “Go do what you’ve been asked, please.”

“Thanks,” Leah mumbled, gratefully.

“Fine,” You mumbled, slouching towards the kitchen while muttering words under your breath about how unfair it was.

That’s when you spotted the mince pies in the tin, and your eyes lit up in glee, “Surely they wouldn’t miss one?” You thought to yourself, a mischievous twinkle in your eyes as you reached for one inside the tin.

That’s the thing about you, always trying to push a little more to test the boundaries.

“Yes,” You whispered to yourself, grabbing hold of it with both hands.

“Ah! If it isn’t my favourite munchkin!” Holly appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, “Merry Christmas!”

You jumped, and shoved the mince pie underneath your hoodie without thinking much about it, “You scared me!”

“What’re you up to?” Holly asked, immediately suspicious about your skittish behaviour,  “What are you trying to hide underneath your hoodie?”

“Nuffin’!” You were quick to say, hoping it wouldn’t raise any further suspicion.

“You sure about that?” Holly teased, crossing her arms over her chest, “You look pretty guilty about something right now—whatever that something might be.”

“I’ve got nuffin’ to hide!” You insisted with a faux innocent look—apparently you weren’t that convincing though.

“I don’t think that’s true, is it?” Holly smirked, stepping closer as she proceeded to pull out the mince pie from underneath your hoodie, “Oh! What is this then—did that mince pie happen to find its own way there?”

You gave her your best sheepish smile, “I was just… I didn’t think anyone would notice—Mum and Mama already said no, but… I’m hungry.”

Holly crossed her arms, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling, “Hungry, huh?” She said, trying and failing to sound stern, “I’m guessing they told you that you had to eat dinner first, right?”

“Yeah…” You mumbled, shrugging dramatically, “But pudding tastes better if it’s eaten first, duh!” You insisted with a cheeky smile.

“Oh, Monkey,” Holly exhaled a sigh, shaking her head but there was no true anger to it—just the same usual fond, familiar love that she always felt when it came to you.

You just smiled to yourself, because yeah… you might push buttons, but you’d never manage to push your family’s love away.

“I just hope for your sake you eat your dinner,” Holly murmured, breaking the mince pie in half and handing you it, “It’ll be our secret, so nobody needs to know.”

You went to take it, but the second your fingers touched it… something made your smile falter, “... Auntie Holly?” You whispered.

Holly’s teasing expression softened instantly, “What’s the matter, munchkin?”

You shrugged, staring down at the pastry in your hands, “Nuffin’.”

“Monkey,” Holly said gently, tipping her head, “Talk to me.”

“I think…” Your bottom lip wobbled, unable to stop yourself before you blabbed, “I think my Mum and Mama aren’t happy right now.”

Holly stilled, frowning, “What makes you think that, munchkin?”

“Cos…” You shook your head, pulling your hoodie sleeves over your hands, “They’re bein’ weird. And whisperin’. And… Mum doesn’t laugh at Mama’s jokes like normal. She always laughs.”

Holly pressed a warm hand to the back of your shoulder, “Hey. Look at me.”

You did, reluctantly with your eyes shining, “I’m… I’m scared.”

“There’s no reason to feel scared and absolutely none of this is your fault,” Holly did her best to reassure you, “Sometimes grown ups… well they go quiet when they’re trying to figure things out. But you’re safe, and you know they love you more than anything, don’t you?”

“Uh huh,” You mumbled, nodding solemnly, “But… what will happen if they break up—? Where will I go? Will I stay with Mum, or Mama, or… will I go back to live with my Dad?”

“That will never happen,” Holly frowned, shaking her head, “Monkey, staying with your dad isn’t an option. He can’t take you, and he won’t. Regardless of what happens, you will always have a home with your Mum and Mama. Even if it means two homes.”

“... But what if I don’t want two homes?” Your voice shrank quietly.

“Sometimes two homes are better than one, sweetheart,” Holly crouched a little so her eyes meet yours properly, “But you have a voice and you can tell them that. They’ll listen because they love you,” Her hand rubbed slow, soothing circles on your back, “And hey… two homes doesn’t mean you’re losing anything. It just means two bedrooms, twice as much LEGO and… and if you play your cards right, double the birthday and Christtmas presents.”

You huffed out a tiny, watery laugh, “More LEGO does sound fun.”

“See?” Holly smiled kindly, “Nothing’s decided yet, munchkin. Your world isn’t going anywhere. And neither are they.”

“Oh, I’m so full of turkey,” Jacob groaned, leaning back in his chair with a dramatic effect, “I don’t think I could eat anymore.”

“I’ll second that one,” Ben chimed in, reaching for the gravy boat one last time.

“Well then… I guess neither of you have room for pudding—more for the rest of us,” Amanda said cheerfully, scooping a generous helping of roast potatoes onto her plate.

“Pudding?” Ben’s eyes lit up at the sudden word.

“I always have room for that!” Jacob exclaimed, sitting up in his chair

The smell of roast turkey and gravy filled the air as everyone gathered around the long dining table with plates high and conversation buzzing. You sat near the middle, an emerald paper crown tilted sideways on your head—a casualty of the Christmas cracker battle with Jacob, accompanied with a silly joke, and a mini kazoo, much to your delight… but Leah and Jordan couldn’t say the same.

Leah’s family was mid-chaos in the best way possible—laughter, teasing and Buddy babbling happily from her high chair. However you were more engaged with your switch tucked discreetly (or so you thought) on your lap under the table as your thumbs moved at lightning speed.

“Monkey, switch away please. You’re eating dinner,” Leah said firmly, her eyes narrowing.

“But I’m playing,” You whined, making your voice sound deliberately dramatic, “I’ll eat when I’m done!”

“Not optional, Monkey,” Leah stated, remaining firm, “You can play after dinner. Put it away while you’re at the table.”

“Nooo!” You protested in a high-pitch wail.

“Jord?” Leah looked at the woman, “A bit of support here, please?”

Jordan straightened, “Monkey, listen to your Mum, please.”

“I don’t wanna—I don’t wanna eat dinner, I got better things to do!” You shouted, flopping into your chair, “You can’t make me eat stupid dinner!”

Leah’s fork froze halfway to her mouth with a warning glint flickering in her eyes. Jordan shot Leah a look that said it all.

“Right,” Leah exhaled a sigh, “Give me the Switch. If you’re not going to eat your dinner then you’re not playing on it.”

“Noooo! I’m in the middle of completing a level,” You insisted, reluctant to hand it over to her.

“Monkey. Now,” Leah’s voice was tired, almost like she was running out of patience.

“No!” You scowled, not willing to give it up so easily.

“Logan Reece,” Leah stated, using your proper name which made your sullen expression deepen, “I’m not going to ask you again. Do not make me start counting to three.”

Ben let out a low whistle, “Yikes.”

“Monkey,” Jordan warned, “Do as you're told, please. Your Mum is right, if you’re not going to eat your dinner first then there’s no Switch until you do.”

“Not fair!” You whined, reluctantly handing the device to her, “You’re both mean! I don’t wanna eat it!”

“Are you not hungry, darling?” Berny asked kindly from across the table.

“I’m full,” You muttered, arms crossed and glaring at your plate in front of you.

Leah arched her eyebrow, “How can you be full already? You’ve barely touched your plate while you’ve been sitting here.”

“I don’t wanna…” You whined again.

“You’ve left the best bit, munchkin. You can’t skip the pigs in blankets,” Holly offered her opinion, feeling somewhat guilty about that whole mince pie ordeal before you all sat down for dinner.

“Nah, they look ugly!” You protested weakly.

Jacob snorted, “They’re ugly? That’s a new excuse.”

“Eat,” Leah reminded you, motioning to the untouched floor on your plate, “And that means something other than just the meat.

You huffed, picking up your fork, “I ate the yorkshire pudding—and the roast potatoes!”

“Good job, sweetheart. I’m proud of you for that,” Leah praised, “But I mean the rest too please.”

“... Even the vegetables as well?” You asked, scrunching up your face in disgust.

“Them too,” Leah said in an amused tone of voice, “They won’t kill you, my girl.”

“But I don’t like ‘em!” You protested, pushing them around your plate with your fork, “They’re ‘orrible—and gross!”

Jordan bit her lip, trying not to laugh, “How do you know what they taste like if you haven’t even tried them?”

“They look like it, Mama!” You exclaimed, scowling at the vegetables, “I’m not eatin’ them!”

Leah clicked her tongue, shaking her head, “Monkey, they’re not going to hurt you. I’d like you to try and eat a few of them, please.”

“No! I don’t want to!” You remained stubborn about your decision.

“Monkey,” Leah murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Just eat, please. You’re not having pudding until you’ve eaten at least five vegetables.”

“Three?” You tried your luck to bargain with her.

Leah’s lips twitched into an amused smirk, “Five, I’m not budging.”

You groaned dramatically, “I can’t—I’m full!”

“Oh sweetheart, that’s exactly the performance that your mum used to pull when she wanted out of eating her peas,” Berny teased, spearing a forkful of carrot into her mouth.

“Yes, and it didn’t work then either,” Leah remarked, shaking her head.

“That's ‘cos they’re just green balls of misery!” You muttered, crossing your arms over your chest.

Leah exhaled a sigh, “Okay, now I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“No I’m not! They're horrible!” You exclaimed in protest.

“Monkey—” Leah pinched the bridge of her nose trying to keep her patience.

“I DON’T WANT THEM!” You screamed in response, causing a scene as everyone else froze.

“Excuse me madam, you know we don’t shout like that across the dinner table, do we?” Amanda interjected, her voice calm but firm.

“She’s just overwhelmed, Mum…” Leah tried to soothe the situation.

“She might be, but that’s not an excuse to shout like she is doing…” Amanda replied, softening her eyes as they reached yours, “You know better than to do that.”

“Mum, we can handle this—” Leah began to insist.

“But you don’t need to handle it on your own, Le.” Amanda told her, placing her fork down on the table, “And this young lady has been far too cheeky and getting away with blue murder. You stay here and eat your dinner, me and my granddaughter are going to have a little chat, aren’t we, madam?”

“A… a little chat?” You squeaked.

“Yes, me and you. Right now,” Amanda declared, nodding solemnly.

“Nooo! I’m not goin’ anywhere!” You scrambled back in your chair, squirming away from hands.

“Come on, you just need a bit of time to calm down away from everyone else,” Amanda coaxed, standing up from the table and reaching over to scoop you up into her arms while your legs flailed. You kicked lightly, but the older woman was used to this by now.

“Go on with Nana, little one,” Jordan encouraged from across the table.

Your attempt of usual tricks were no use in this case, and Amanda wasn’t having any of it as she carried you away from everyone else, into the living room where it was quiet.

Jacob grimaced, “Well she’s not happy one bit.”

“Bless her,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, frowned in sympathy.

“I’ve never known anyone to commit to throwing a tantrum about peas,” Ben added with a grin.

Holly matched Jordan’s frown with her own, “You can’t blame her if she doesn’t like them and she’s making her feelings very vocal… about a lot of things,” She added, sharing a brief glance with Leah.

Jordan frowned, “Should we—?”

“She’ll be fine, Mum’s got it handled,” Leah murmured, deflecting from unpacking the emotional damage at the dinner table, “She said we should eat dinner.”

“Don’t worry girls, your Mum means well,” David added, “She’s had plenty of experience with you and your brother giving her the run around.”

“NO!” You wailed from the living room.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Jacob muttered, glancing nervously at the rest of the table.

“Your Mum has it under control. Monkey just needs to calm down a bit I’m sure,” Berny reassured, taking a wild guess that your meltdown wasn’t just over the peas.

In the living room, Amanda carried you over to a chair tucked into the corner, your legs kicking and arms flailing, “Hey, listen…” She began, crouching to your level, “I know that you’re upset and I think it’s wise you take some time to calm down, hmm?”

Here you were now, stuck on that dumb time out chair—you absolutely despised it.

You scowled, “Calm down? I’m not upset!” You insisted, though your voice sounded whiny, “I just.. I don’t want to eat stupid, dumb peas ‘cos they’re gross—an’ Mum took my Nintendo Switch and that’s not fair!”

“Take a breath, darling,” Amanda encouraged in a calm tone of voice, “Your Mum took your Nintendo Switch because you weren’t eating any of your dinner and she was right to do that.”

“I don’t like it, though!” You grumbled, frustrated as you kicked the carpet underneath, “S’not fair!”

Amanda pursed her lips together, “It might not feel fair but when you refuse to listen then you’re not being good, are you?”

“I don’t care!” You huffed, crossing your arms as tight as possible, “I hate quiet time and I hate peas! I hate… everything!”

“Right, you need to calm down, darling girl,” Amanda murmured, reaching to brush your hair out of your eyes, “It’s not good to get wound up… and it’s Christmas, too. You don’t want to ruin your fun by being in trouble, do you?”

“... No, Nana,” You mumbled, shoulders sinking slightly.

“That’s my sweet girl,” The woman soothed, “I know it’s frustrating sometimes but you have to eat fruit and veg to make you strong and kicking and shouting doesn’t help anyone… especially not you.”

You pouted, a deep scowl but there was somewhat a bit of trust and comfort shown in your eyes—you were a Nana's girl after all and Amanda knew it.

“I’m not upset with you darling,” Amanda continued gently, “I just want you to take a moment to think… you’ve been acting so silly and there’s no need for it. It’s alright to be upset about peas, or even losing your switch, but it’s not okay to yell and refuse to listen at the table. You know that, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Nana,” You whispered, eyes dropping ashamedly to your lap.

Amanda smiled warmly, squeezing your knee, “That’s all I wanted to hear, let’s not let the day be spoiled by this behaviour, hm? Now, let’s take a few deep breaths and we’ll start fresh, hmm?”

“Okay, Nana…” You breathed, mimicking her inhale and exhale.

“Right, here’s the plan…” Amanda continued, “I want you to eat some of your dinner, and then… we’ll see about pudding, yeah? We can’t have you missing out on that now, can we?” 

You perked up instantly, “Puddin’!”

“But dinner first, okay?” Amanda reminded, raising her brow, “And that includes at least five mouthfuls of vegetables like your Mum asked.”

“But no peas!” You fired back immediately.

“Alright, fine… no peas,” Amanda relented, amused, “But in that case I want you to eat your carrots, broccoli… and see if you can even manage a brussel sprout for me?”

“Ewie—none of them sprouts!” You squeaked in protest.

Amanda laughed softly, shaking her head, “Worth a shot, honestly I can’t get anyone to eat them,” She joked lightly, “Come on then, darling. Let’s go join everyone else at the table.”

You sniffled once, only for the pure dramatical aspect of it before you wiped your sleeve across your cheek and trotted off towards where the rest of your family was still eating dinner.

The moment you appeared, it was like you were a completely different person. You settled down at the table, speared a piece of carrot on your fork before shoving it in your mouth without so much as another complaint.

Leah looked up mid-sentence, her own fork still in hand, “... What the—”

“Well I never,” Jordan blinked in disbelief, “I swear we’ve got a completely new child.”

Amanda strolled into the room confidently, smoothing her skirt and wearing a usual trademark smile, “Nana’s magic touch,” Before sitting back down in her chair and tucking into her own dinner, like nothing was ever the matter.

“Oh, and this present is off… Grandma Berny—wow, bubba. Look what it is… aren’t you lucky?” Leah cooed to Buddy, who was sitting on her lap as she unwrapped the shiny present.

“Wow, that looks cool!” You admired Buddy’s new toy, which was a mini DJ table, “Does it actually play real music?”

“This one's a bit too young for you,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, joked as she tapped the box playfully and gestured to the age on it.

You just stuck your tongue out at her, regardless.

“Buddy seems to like it,” Holly noted, beaming a smile, seeing the way your eight month old sister hammered her small fist on the box, “I’d say that’s approved.”

“Well… at least she’s not trying to eat the wrapping paper this time ‘round,” Jordan mumbled, letting out a half hearted laugh.

“Yeah, it seems she’s moved onto the tags instead,” Jacob deadpanned.

“Oh, and what else have we got… new clothes—you’re been very spoiled, bubba!” Leah continued, holding up a tiny outfit, “This is adorable!”

“What about you, Monks’?” Ben asked, curiously.

You didn’t dare to wait to tear into the wrapping paper, throwing it behind you, “LEGO!” You shrieked, holding it up triumphantly.

“Crikey, I thought my ear drum blew then…” Jacob joked, flinching dramatically.

“Whoa! This is awesome, thanks Grandma!” You squealed, launching your arms around her.

“You’re welcome, darling. You can never have too much LEGO can you?” Berny winked, because she definitely knew you already had a lot.

“I beg to differ, it feels like the house is being taken over by it,” Leah muttered through a tired smile, exhausted to keep up this performance.

“Open the next one,” Berny encouraged with a smug smile.

You bit your bottom lip, tearing back into the paper and squealing, “Grandma! No way—! Cowboy boots?”

“Your Mum said you liked them and you were trying to steal hers,” Berny chuckled, shaking her head, “I figured that everyone deserves a good pair.”

“I love them!” You beamed a wide smile, “Thank you, Grandma!”

“You’re very welcome, my darling,” Berny replied, warmly.

“Aye, Monks’ they’ll go well with that leather jacket and cowboy hat,” Holly smirked, motioning to the cowboy hat she had brought you, and the leather jacket that Amanda’s brother and his wife had brought you. 

“Mhm, if only there was an event that they’d be perfect for,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin teased.

You furrowed your brows, utterly confused, “What?”

Leah smirked weakly and pulled an envelope from the pocket, “Merry Christmas, my girl.”

You tore the envelope open to see tickets, “Noooo! Seriously?” You gasped in excitement, “Tickets? I love it!”

“A country music concert for my country girl,” Leah stated proudly, “I thought you would appreciate that one.”

“I love it!” You squealed, scrambling up and throwing your arms around Leah, “Thanks, Mum! Are we all goin’?”

There was a tense pause in the room—barely noticeable, but Holly and Berny caught it immediately.

Leah opened her mouth but Jordan beat her to it, “Your Mum is going to take you, sweetheart,” Jordan said gently, forcing a smile you didn’t exactly recognise, “Someone’s gotta stay home with Buddy… and you know I’m not exactly a huge country fan.”

Your smile wobbled, “Oh… okay then.”

Leah’s hand slid instinctively to your back, rubbing small circles, “It’s okay, we’ll still have fun. It’ll be me, you, Nana, Grandma and your Aunties.”

“You will have the best time,” Jordan added, reaching across to squeeze your knee, “And then you can tell me all about it when you’re home, yeah?”

“Yeah,” You tried to grin, even if it felt somewhat crooked, “It will be…”

“We’ll make a whole day out of it,” Leah promised, nudging your shoulder with hers, “Everything is going to be fine.”

You tried to believe that—behind you, Berny exhaled quietly and Holly gave Leah a knowing look, but neither of them said a single word.

“Hey, Monks’,” Holly got your attention, “I heard a certain rumour that Luke Combs will be there.”

You gasped, “Seriously? That’s awesome!” Your previous worries quickly vanished, “I get to see Luke Combs live—when is it?”

Leah chuckled, brushing your hair out of your face, “Thirteenth March, so there’s a couple of months yet.”

“Right, now our presents,” David clapped his hands dramatically, “Just wait until you see what we’ve got you, Monkey! I think it’ll go with the music theme.”

“What is it?” You perked up curiously.

“I’m afraid to know the answer to that,” Leah muttered, half behind her hand.

“I’d just like to point out that this was your dads’ doing and I had nothing to do with it,” Amanda cut in swiftly, shaking her head.

“Go on then. Tear into it,” David encouraged, eyes sparkling.

You didn’t have to be told twice, paper flying in several different ways before you let out an excited squeal, “Whoa—no way! This is, like, literally awesome!”

“It’s one of those top ones’ that lights up and everything!” David beamed, puffing his chest out, “What do you think, sweetheart?”

“You got her a microphone?!” Leah spluttered.

“It connects to Bluetooth,” David continued proudly, “And you can sing along to anything. Isn’t that fantastic?” 

“As you can tell,” Amanda said, deadpan but smiling, “Your Dad was really keen to get it for her  as soon as he spotted it.”

Leah side eyed David, unimpressed, “It’s funny how when we were kids that you never had the faintest clue what Mum brought us, but the minute it’s your granddaughter then you’re suddenly ecstatic about it, eh?” 

“He’s been acting like a big kid since the Christmas shopping began!” Jacob snorted, throwing the man under the bus.

“You’re one to talk,” Leah shot back.

You had enough of the grown ups bickering about it.

You flicked the switch on the microphone, the lights flashed bright colours and the mic chimed, “TESTING! TESTING! ONE, TWO, THREE!” You yelled at a volume that made Holly clutch her heart.

“Wonderful…” Leah muttered, dropping her head into her hand.

“Somethng tells me we’re going to have a lot of improv karaoke,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, teased, “Go ahead and sing us a song, Monkey!”

“That’s something that’s definitely been hidden,” Leah breathed, hoping to pray for her own sanity.

Holly smirked, “Oh come on, Le. Let her have some fun with it!”

“Sure,” Leah sighed, “And give us all a headache in the process…”

David wasn’t quite done yet, “There’s more, go ahead munchkin!”

Tearing into the next present, you grinned from ear to ear, “Whoa, these trainers are sick—I’ve been wanting them for ages!”

“You’re spoiling them both,” Leah said, amusedly but there was a gentle smile on her face that showed she wasn’t truly bothered by it.

“It’s our job as grandparents, bubba.” Amanda said sweetly.

“Wow, little one, you’re very lucky,” Jordan encouraged, reminding you softly, “What do you say?”

“Thanks, Grandad! Thanks, Nana!” You beamed, exchanging hugs with the two of them.

“You’re welcome, darling,” Amanda smiled warmly, “Anything for our best girl.”

More presents piled around your feet—Shrek merchandise, Marvel bits, another LEGO set, a new Switch game as you were practically drowning in wrapping paper, “I love them all, they’re so cool!”

“Okay, I think before we open anything else we need to clean up the wrapping paper before your little sister starts to chew on it,” Leah instructed wearily, prising the paper out of Buddy’s hands before she had a chance to gnaw on it.

“I’ll grab a bin bag!” Jacob hopped up, dashing into the kitchen to find the bin bags and coming back just as quick, “Here you go, Le!”

“Thanks, J,” Leah jugged Buddy in one arm as she began to clean up the wrapping paper of the floor with her other hand, since she knew full well you wouldn’t do it—you were too fascinated with your new microphone.

“And next up,” David declared, rubbing his palms together, "It's time for this little petal to open her presents…”

Buddy squealed on Leah’s lap, recognizing her own name and smacked the box almost as if she was aware what was coming next.

“I think you’re more excited than she is, uncle David,” Holly teased.

“Is it that obvious?” Jacob joked, amusedly.

“Only a bit,” Ben deadpanned.

“Shush you lot,” David scolded with faux sternness, ”I’m excited for her to see what she thinks of her presents.”

“Which ones’ should we open first, huh bubba?” Leah cooed, helping Buddy tug at the paper—most of her best effort though was her trying to eat it though.

“That certainly is an interesting technique to open it,” Berny chuckled, fondly.

“She wants to get in it,” You remarked, laughing a little bit.

Leah helped Buddy tear into the wrapper until it revealed a pink walker, all buttons and lights, and music to go along with it, “Oh wow. What do you think about this, bubba?”

“That’s so cute,” Holly cooed.

“She’ll be walking in no time,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, noted.

“And then you’ll have to have eyes in the back of your head,” Leah’s uncle chimed in teasingly.

“Wonderful,” Jordan muttered, managing a thin smile, “I can’t wait for her to start pulling things off tables.”

You giggled, “She’s trying to get in the box!”

“I wouldn’t put it past her to try it,” Leah laughed, shaking her head.

“What’s next,” Jacob asked, already reaching for the next present.

“Something special for our little drummer girl,” David announced dramatically.

You blinked, dumbfounded, “Eh?”

“Drummer girl—?” Leah furrowed her brows, “Oh Dad, please tell me that you haven’t…” She connected the dots.

David smirked in glee, “Actually, this one's your Mum’s doing, sweetheart.”

“... Wonderful,” Leah muttered under her breath.

“Well, we’ve already got a microphone, we might as well balance it out with this,” Jordan joked half heartedly, shaking her head.

“Yeah! We can start a band!” You declared.

Several more presents later including a selection of clothes, more toys and educational books later, Buddy was sitting around her own pile of presents on Leah’s knee and hitting them in confirmation of approval.

“Safe to say she approves of this one then…” Holly joked, watching Buddy hit the box.

Leah groaned, tilting her head back, “You two are incorrigible. You’ve spoiled them absolutely rotten.”

“It’s Christmas, bubba,” Amanda chimed in at the perfect moment, “That’s what grandparents are for, remember?”

Leah shook her head, although she was smiling so it didn’t really seem like she was too annoyed—at least until David grabbed the last present in the pile.

“You’ll just have to get used to it, sweetheart…” David said, grinning from ear to ear, “And next up, we have— and this one is very special.”

Leah frowned, “What have you got there, dad?”

“Oh Le, you’re gonna love it,” Jacob smirked in glee.

“He’s kept this one to himself, so even I’m not aware of it,” Amanda muttered suspiciously.

“Oh David, you haven’t…” Berny groaned, sensing danger.

“What?” Leah questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh, go ahead, Le. You can do the honours of opening it for her,” Jacob encouraged kindly.

“... Alright then,” Leah muttered, tearing open the paper as she caught a glimpse and paused, “What the—oh no you did not!” Her mouth dropped open wide in disbelief.

“Oh, I think he did,” Jacob remarked, smirking.

“What… What is it?” Ben asked, confused.

Leah clenched her jaw, pulling the full kit out of the wrapping paper, “I cannot believe you would do this, Dad—-seriously?!”

Amanda stared wide eyed at her husband, “Seriously, David?”

“That’s a bold move, uncle David,” Holly murmured in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you’ve brought her… that!” Leah choked out.

“Oh… my god,” Jordan mumbled, horrified at the sight of it, “She can’t wear that!”

“You’ve brought my great granddaughter a Spurs kit?” Berny exclaimed in outrage.

“Mums’ seething about it,” You announced unnecessarily, clocking her expression.

“Too right I am!” Leah snapped, completely thrown off.

David chuckled, “Look at the back! That’s the best bit!”

“Wahey!” Jacob exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Wha—over my dead body is my daughter ever going to wear a Tottenham Spurs shirt!” Leah roared, “Absolutely not happening!”

Your eight month old sister, however, seemed delighted by it as she grabbed the fabric in her chubby hands and jammed it straight into her mouth.

“I think that speaks for itself,” David remarked, smugly.

“Not happenin’!” Leah barked.

“You’ve outdone yourself with this one, Dad,” Jacob stated, proud as ever, “It’s about time we had another Lilywhite instead of a Gooner.”

“Oh, David…” Amanda exhaled a sigh, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Come here, petal. Come to Grandad,” David said, scooping Buddy up before Leah even had a chance to blink, “Let’s try it on!”

“Absolutely not—” Leah attempted to lunge, but Buddy was already halfway into the shirt, squealing happily, “I cannot believe this is even happenin’! Take it off her!”

Berny looked at David bewildered, “I cannot believe you have my great granddaughter wearing that.”

“Neither can I—take it off her!” Leah cried.

“Oh, come on, Le,” Jacob laughed, “Look at her, she looks adorable!”

“I’d suggest you choose your next words very carefully,” Leah said darkly, scowling at her younger brother, “Because I am not having my daughter wearing that filth!”

You scrunched your face up in disgust, “Grandad, I can’t believe you did that—that’s, like, ridiculously outrageous for you to do that!” You added, scandalised.

“You’ve done some things in your time, David… but this really does it,” Amanda muttered in disbelief, “How could you?”

“This sounds like something on the grounds of divorce,” Ben muttered.

David threw his hands up defensively, “What? It’s harmless fun.”

Leah scoffed, “Harmless fun? Dad, are you serious right now? This… this is a crime in football!”

“Come on, Le! It’s just a shirt—” Jacob tried.

“It’s not just a shirt, Jacob,” Leah seethed, “This is… the enemy territory!”

“That’s a ‘orrible shirt, ew!” You declared.

Jacob winced, “Le, I think you might be overreacting…”

“Overreacting?! Don’t—I refuse to let my daughter wear that!” Leah barked, looking at Jordan for her help, “Jord! Backup ‘ere, please?”

“Er,” Jordan blinked, stunned for words, “Right, yeah… um—”

Leah let out a frustrated huff under her breath, low enough that only the adults caught it, “Course… just leave me to be the bad guy. Yet again.”

Berny’s brows pinched together. 

Amanda’s lips pressed into a line. 

Jordan stiffened, her jaw ticking—she’d definitely heard it. Her eyes flicked away as the guilt flashed across her face before she masked it quickly.

However, yourself? You were far too busy pulling faces at Buddy to notice the quiet storm brewing over the adult’s heads.

“I think she’s already somewhat converted,” Jacob snickered, trying to defuse the tension—which only made it worse.

“Absolutely not,” Leah clicked her tongue, “There’s not a single chance I am letting my baby wear that.”

Ben nodded solemnly, “Le’s right, you can’t let an innocent baby be lured into false apprehension.”

Buddy was still blissfully gumming the sleeve of the shirt and kicking her little legs.

“Oh no, no, no… we’re nipping this in the bud right now,” Leah declared, attempting to lift the shirt off her.

Only, at that point, Buddy started to wail. Loudly.

“Christ,” Holly mumbled, wincing as she covered her ears, “Something tells me she’s not wanting to give it up, unfortunately.”

Jordan, Leah’s cousin, sympathised, “Poor child, doesn’t even know she’s being forced to wear it.”

“Bubba, you don’t want that. Mummy will buy you plenty of red and white shirts—you’ve got Arsenal in your blood,” Leah tried her best but to no avail, Buddy was reluctant to get rid of it, “You don’t want to be supporting this yucky team.”

“I don’t think she wants to give it up, Mum…” You remarked at the perfect opportunity.

“Don’t you start,” Leah murmured, groaning as stared down at Buddy, the tears were still pooling in her eyes, and every time Leah tried to take it, her bottom lip trembled dramatically, “Dad, I cannot believe you brought my daughter a bloody Spurs kit—this is unbelievable!”

Buddy gave another hiccupy little whimper, her bottom lip jutting out as she continued to wear the shirt.

“Oh, bubba… don’t cry,” Leah softened instantly, “Mummy’s not trying to be mean… I’m just very upset with Grandad for buying it.” 

“Oh come on sweetheart, with all you lot supporting the Gunners, it’s only right for our little petal to support Spurs,” David tried his luck.

Leah scowled at the man in disbelief, “Over my dead body will I ever let that happen!”

“As much as I hate this,” Jordan finally joined the conversation, “She’s going to cry if you take it off her so you might as well just let wear it for now until she’s a bit calmer.”

Leah narrowed her brow, “Really? You’re okay with this?”

“You might not be, but you’re better to not upset her, bubba,” Amanda added gently.

“This is comical, I gotta get it a picture—smile, Mum!” You rushed to pick up your phone only for it to have a flat battery, “Mum! I need to use your phone!”

“Monkey, don’t you—” Leah warned, but you were already mid photo, “Monkey, no—oh for the love of—”

You tapped the screen and it made a shutter noise, “Too late.”

“She obviously likes it,” Jacob pointed out, smugly.

“Alright, fine…” Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, visibly fighting herself, “She can have it for now, but… the minute we get home, that thing is going straight in the bin!”

David gasped dramatically, “The bin?! You can’t put it in the bin—I paid good money for that!”

“That’s outrageous!” Jacob echoed.

“Be glad it’s not going on top of a bonfire like I originally planned,” Leah snapped, glaring at the two of them, “The only reason I’m not ripping it off her is because I am not willing to upset her.”

“What time’s the queen's speech on? We can’t miss that one!” Holly wondered curiously, already perched on the edge of the sofa.

“Oh it’s about to start—quick! Somebody find the remote!” Amanda exclaimed, patting around the cushions.

“Has anyone seen it?” Leah questioned, scanning the room.

“Found it!” David triumphantly held the remote up in the air.

When the Queen’s Speech came on, everything else stopped.

That was one tradition that Leah’s family was very patriotic about—or when it came to anything to do with the royal family.

You, on the other hand?

Certainly did not share the same fondness for it—you couldn’t stand it.

Buddy had recently woken up from her nap, no longer wearing the Spurs shirt, due to Leah’s keen determination to take it off her and now she was wriggling around on her playmat.

“What’s so special about a speech from the queen? It’s dull,” You muttered.

“It’s a famous tradition, you know this,” Jacob murmured, hands behind his head, “I’m planning to rest my eyes.”

Ben snorted, “It’s a bit boring if you ask me.”

“It’s so dull!” You repeated louder, just in case nobody heard you the first time.

“Shush you lot, it’s starting!” Berny chastised, fully tuning into the short speech.

“Geesh, so serious,” Jacob teased.

“You know Grandma, she’s always like this when the queen’s speech comes on. I swear one year, she even tried to shush the dog,” Ben remarked with a sly smirk.

“I heard that!” Berny shot back without looking away from the TV.

“Monkey,” Leah called softly, patting the space on the sofa beside her, “Come sit next to me and watch it.”

You scrunched your brows together, “Do I hafta? I’d rather build LEGO!”

“Come on, my girl, come and sit down. It won’t kill you to watch it for ten minutes,” Leah encouraged, “It’ll do you good to take the time to calm down.”

“Ten minutes? That feels like it’s going to go on forever!” You exclaimed, definitely not a fan of it.

“Monkey,” Leah warned softly, in a tone that usually meant she was seconds away from giving you a look, “Humour me, just come and sit down.”

You huffed, flopping down next to her on the sofa with arms crossed, “But I don’t see why I hafta watch it—or why is everyone obsessed with it? She just yaps on and on and it’s well borin’!”

“It’s a tradition, darling,” Amanda chimed in.

“Yeah sure… a proper borin’ tradition,” You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Aye, little one, don’t be cheeky now,” Jordan murmured, tapping your knee, “It’s important to watch it. It’s hardly going to kill you.”

Leah clicked her tongue, “Honestly, you’re acting like we’ve asked you to watch a documentary, it’s just ten minutes. You can handle that.”

“Do I ‘ave a choice if I want to watch it, either way?” You muttered.

Leah gave you another look just as the speech began and the room fell into a respectful silence—well mostly, other than Buddy, who didn’t want to be quiet, not one bit.

Your baby sister seemed completely uninterested in what the royal woman had to say, as she waved her tiny fists in the air and incoherently babbled nothing that could be understood. 

“She’s got the right idea,” Ben whispered.

“Is it over yet?” You complained aloud, “Mama! I’m bored of watchin’ this now!”

“Almost over now, little one,” Jordan murmured, hopeful.

You were certainly relieved when the speech had finished.

“That was lovely,” Berny said with a fond sigh, “Always a nice way to reflect on the year.”

“I’m reflecting on how I’ve never made it through the whole thing stayin’ awake,” Jacob muttered.

“Right then!” Amanda clapped her hands together, “Who’s ready for dessert? We’ve got Christmas pudding, mince pies, a yule log and Ben’s favourite—triffle!”

“Trifle? Oh I’ve got room for trifle!” Jacob sat up straighter, eyes wide in excitement.

“Course you do,” Leah smirked.

“Me! Me! I want puddin’! I ate my dinner an’ you said I could ‘ave it!” You declared, practically jumped up from the sofa at the mention of pudding, “I’ll help you, Nana!”

“Someone’s eager,” Jordan, Leah’s cousin, teased.

“If I help, does it mean I can get extra? I’m very helpful!” You wondered, rushing into the kitchen to help her.

“Oh, I knew there was a reason why you were offering to help,” Amanda teased, shaking her head, “I should’ve known you had an ulterior motive!”

“... Maybe,” You said innocently.

“Come on then my little helper. You can help me serve it up.” Amanda encouraged you.

“Don’t let her have too much Mum, we don’t want her being sick…” Leah shouted from the living room.

“I’ll be fine, Mum!” You yelled back.

“Right, darling,” Amanda said warmly, opening the cupboard, “You get the bowls and cutlery out, and then we can start dishing it up—we’ve got enough here to feed everyone… including Ben.” 

“Enj’ is gonna eat all of it!” You predicted with confidence.

“We’ll have to make sure he doesn’t then, won’t we?” Amanda playfully poked your nose.

“Uh-huh!” You agreed, nodding solemnly.

You were quiet for a moment, carefully lining up the bowls on the kitchen work top. Then, out of nowhere, you turned around and threw your arms around Amanda’s waist.

“Hey, what’s all this for then?” Amanda asked softly, taken back.

“This has been one of the best Christmas ever!” You whispered into her jumper.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Amanda’s heart melted instantly, tightening her hold on you protectively, “I’m so glad you’ve had a good day.”

“It’s just… I dunno, it feels nice—I love being here with everyone!” You spoke quietly, afraid that things wouldn’t be the same this time next year, “I want it to last forever.”

“And we love having you here too, Monkey,” Amanda smiled, kissing the top of your head, “You fit right in, and you’re so loved by everyone here.”

“Love you, Nana,” You mumbled, your voice thick with contentment, “Thank you for takin’ me in even when you didn’t hafta.”

“Oh, darling girl,” Amanda said, pulling you even closer, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling. I love you too… after all, you're Nana’s best girl.”

You peered up, and smiled at her, “Nana—? Can I have one of Grandma’s mince pies now?”

Amanda laughed in amusement, “You can have whatever you so wish, darling girl—now come on, let’s get this dessert out before Jacob starts sniffing around the kitchen.”

“Too late,” Jacob appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, “I thought I’d help myself—Mums’ right, Monks’. You’re one of us now… you always have been, and you always will be.”

“No, that's cheatin’! You can’t do that now!” Leah protested, pointing an accusing finger at Ben.

Ben laughed, “Why not? It’s not in the rules!”

“Yes of course it is,” Leah fired back, her competitive streak showing.

“No it’s not,” Ben scoffed, looking to the rest of the family for support.

“Yeah, right, I don’t believe that—somebody look it up!” Leah demanded, her eyes narrowing.

The evening began to wind down, you found yourself nestled on the sofa next to Amanda, already changed into your pajamas to get cosy, while Buddy rested against Amanda’s chest while she peacefully slept, and the rest of the family gathered round for a competitive game of charades.

Holly glanced over the rules briefly on her phone, “He’s right, Le. It’s not in the rules he can’t.”

“Since when?” Leah muttered in disbelief, arching an eyebrow.

“Since always if you read the rules correctly,” Ben shot back with a smug grin.

“Outrageous!” Leah scoffed, crossing her arms over her best, not long before it was her turn.

“You call that a gorilla? I think it looks more like a constipated penguin,”Jacob teased as Leah flailed her arms.

Leah threw a cushion at the younger lad, “You couldn’t even guess a kangaroo so you can’t talk!”

You watched the chaos unfold from your spot on the sofa, remaining glued against Amanda’s side as she had her arm protectively wrapped around you. 

It was chaos—but the best form of it.

“That’s definitely not an elephant, J!” Holly snorted, dipping her hand in the tub of chocolate that was being passed around, “Do you want one of these chocolates, munchkin? You’re usually jumpin’ at the chance for one of them.”

“No thanks,” You mumbled, barely lifting your head.

Berny smiled softly, “Oh, I think somebody’s getting tired now.”

“M’fine, I’m not tired,” You insisted, pouting.

“Are you sure?” Leah’s cousin, Jordan, teased, “That’s exactly what someone says when they’re not tired.”

“Is that why your eyes are starting to shut, huh?” David added, knowingly.

“Are not!” You argued, though your eyes were deceiving and started to shut.

“If you say so,” Ben said, grinning.

“I don’t want to sleep yet,” You mumbled, snuggling deeper into Amanda’s side, “I’ll miss all the fun… and I’m comfy here, I'm not moving yet.”

“That’s you and your little sister,” Amanda chuckled, smoothing your hair.

“Do you want me to take her, Mum?” Leah asked, gesturing to Buddy.

“She’s alright for now, bubba,” Amanda reassured her, rhythmically using her free hand to pat Buddy’s back soothingly, “I’m enjoying cuddles with my two granddaughters,” Amanda

“I’m surprised she’s asleep through all of this noise, bless her,” Leah’s aunt observed.

“She tends to sleep through most things,” Jordan muttered, eyes flicking toward Leah for the briefest second—another tiny crack in the tension between them that you were oblivious too.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Leah’s uncle chuckled.

The game continued around you and your blinks grew slower, the room began to get blurrier and the voices faded into a warm hum as your cheek pressed against Amanda’s jumper.

Amanda noticed, glancing down at you with a small smile, “If you’re tired darling then you can sleep.”

“I… I’m fine…” You lied, already drifting.

The game carried on around you, everyone was loud and voicing their own opinions but you didn’t move, as your head slipped further against Amanda’s chest with the warmth of her arm and the soft rise and fall of her breathing lulling you to sleep.

“What the hell is that supposed to be?” Leah groaned.

“You’re meant to guess!” Jacob barked.

“It’s clearly a fish… I think?” Holly offered her help.

“That’s a concerning looking fish impression if I have ever seen one,” Jordan muttered.

“What’d you reckon, Monkey?” Ben asked, but there was no response.

All of them turned to gaze in your direction to find you spark out.

“Oh, bless her,” Leah softened instantly.

“I think the chaos of today has taken it out of her,” Amanda smiled, stroking your back, “She’s been asleep for the last twenty minutes while you lot have been squabbling.”

“She must’ve been shattered,” Jordan noted quietly.

“Bless her heart,” Holly added.

Leah exhaled and stood up, brushing a hand over your hair, “Right, I think we should get both of the girls up to bed then. Jord, do you want to help me—?”

“Oh, er, yeah…” Jordan hesitated for a fraction too long, “I think that’s a good idea.”

Leah bent down, gently lifting you up from the sofa and into her arms, “Come on then, my girl,” She murmured, rubbing your back, “Bedtime.”

Jordan mirrored Leah’s actions with Buddy, lifting your eight month old sister from Amanda’s chest, and tucking her snug against her, “Bedtime for you too, puddin’.”

“Goodnight, my darlings,” Amanda whispered.

“Sweet dreams, girls.” David added.

Berny smiled, “Night night, angels.”

“We’ll be back down once they’re settled for the night,” Leah reassured them.

Leah started to carry you up the stairs as you stirred halfway up the stairs, “Mum—?”

“I’ve got you, my girl,” Leah whispered, kissing your temple, “Time for bed.”

“M’ not tired… Christmas isn’t over yet…” You slurred, “I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Sweetheart, you were fast asleep on the sofa amidst everyone else shouting,” Leah soothed, keeping her voice low and gentle, “The fun of Christmas isn’t over yet and there’s still tomorrow. You just need a good night's sleep, since you were awake before the sun barely came up.”

“... Fine,” You muttered, too exhausted to fight about it.

“Too tired to even argue, that’s a first,” Jordan said from behind, but there wasn’t a whole lot of teasing in her voice—more like it was just an observation.

You mumbled a weak protest, half-hearted at best. It was true that you were far too tired to argue about the decision.

Leah glanced back at Jordan for a split second while you were past the point of tired to even notice, sharing a desperate look with her.

Jordan didn’t return it.

Leah carried you into your bedroom, gently settling you down on your bed in the room that you had at Amanda and David’s, “My room…”

“It is,” Leah said softly, brushing your hair off your forehead, “Exactly how you left it.”

“And my LEGO,” You said, barely audible.

Leah hummed, “Mhm. LEGO that is staying untouched until the morning, madam.”

“Awh, shucks,” You whined, curling up in a ball on the bed, “S’fun to play with.”

“Little ‘un is out for the count,” Jordan murmured from the doorway, “I’ll go put her down and come back—do you want to say goodnight?”

Leah moved across the room, gently pressing a kiss to Buddy’s cheek, “Night, bubba. Mummy loves you lots and lots,” Before heading back over to you, “Right, my girl. Into bed then…”

“Everythin’ has stayed the same,” You mumbled quietly.

“It has,” Leah murmured, pulling the duvet back and allowing you to climb in, “Same room, same bed, same cheeky girl… and even the same habit of fighting bedtime, huh?”

You gave a tiny pout in response.

Jordan returned just as Leah tucked you in, “I think with a bit of luck… Buddy will be asleep for the whole night.”

“That was quick,” Leah stated, surprised.

“There wasn’t much protest from her,” Jordan mumbled, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest, “How’s it going in here?”

“Well… better than usual,” Leah whispered, her voice warm that she hadn’t used with Jordan all evening.

You barely paid any attention to the two of them, “I’m gonna beat J on the Xbox ‘gain—and he’ll cry,” You managed to mumble, barely audible.

Jordan huffed a tiny bit of air that didn’t come across as a laugh, “Not too sure he’ll be thrilled about that, little one.”

You smiled sleepily, “Thank you for everything today. It’s been like, the best Christmas ever!”

“You’re welcome, Monkey,” Leah’s face softened instantly, “Time to shut your eyes and sleep now. Think of everything to come tomorrow.”

“You deserve nothing but happiness, sweetheart,” Jordan added, even if her voice sounded more guarded than normal—it sounded scripted.

“Night, Mum. Night, Mama,” You didn’t notice, already drifting to sleep, “Love you both.”

“Night, night, my girl,” Leah whispered, leaning over to press a gentle kiss on the top of your head, “Love you two.”

“Night, little one,” Jordan echoed, “Love you.”

The two of them stepped out of your room together. The moment that the door clicked shut, the act fell apart.

“That’s both of them in bed for the night,” Leah noted quietly, “Monkey barely even made it to her pillow.”

“Christmas has officially wiped them out,” Jordan mumbled, keeping her eyes fixed on the bannister instead of Leah. 

There was a tense beat of silence between the two of them.

“Jord,” Leah’s voice broke the quiet.

Jordan inhaled, steadying herself, “... Leah?”

Leah swallowed, her eyes flicking down the stairs towards the muffled voices of her family, “I know this Christmas hasn’t been easy, but… it’s easy to tell that we’re drifting apart. We’re not happy. Not with each other.”

“Yeah,” Jordan didn’t hesitate to agree.

“I just… “ Leah folded her arms tight around herself, almost curling inward, “... I don’t want us to fall out. We have the girls to think of, don’t we?”

“We do,” Jordan said gently, “But pretending that we’re… fine, just because it’s Christmas—Leah, you have to admit that it’s been exhausting. For both of us.”

“We have to pretend,” Leah whispered, her voice breaking as she held herself tighter, “It’s my family downstairs. I can’t just—”

“I know,” Jordan cut in, softer, “I know you can’t. I hardly expected you to blow up Christmas dinner with… all this.”

There was another pause.

“But the pretending… “ Jordan exhaled shakily, “It still hurts.”

Leah’s face softened, finally letting her shoulders drop, “Yeah,” She whispered, leaning back against the wall, “It does but… I don’t want us to fall apart.”

“Leah,” Jordan said softly and painfully, “... We kind of already have.”

Leah’s breath hitched, “Can’t we try again? Like… really try this time?”

“We’ve been trying,” Jordan said gently, “But you know that trying isn’t the same as wanting, Le.”

The words landed like a crack through glass.

“We’re good together as parents,” Jordan continued, her voice low and honest, “We work great as a team but together… romantically? You have to admit that it’s not working between us, not anymore.”

Leah didn’t argue or even speak at first. The silence was enough.

“You don’t love me anymore,” Leah whispered, her voice barely audible.

Jordan’s face fell, “Leah, God—of course I love you. You’re the mother of my children. You’re the person who’s been my best friend for so long—I… I can’t even picture a life without you in it.”

“But you’re not in love with me,” Leah mumbled, forcing herself to not cry.

Jordan didn’t deny it, “It’s nobody’s fault, though. We… it’s nothing we did wrong,” She whispered, “Life changed, didn’t it? The girls came along, we grew up and somewhere along the way… the romantic part of us faded.”

“I hate that,” Leah whispered truthfully.

“Me too,” Jordan mumbled, honestly, “But I’d hate it more if we kept pretending until we couldn’t stand each other.”

Leah’s facial expression shifted, “I… I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Le,” Jordan said gently, finally lifting her eyes to meet Leah’s own, “I’m still going to be there for you—for the girls. We can still be a family… but this version of us? Leah, we’re not what we used to be anymore. You have to admit that.”

Leah let out a shaky breath, pressing the heel of her hand to her forehead,  “I… I know, I was scared to bring it up. It feels so… final,” She whispered, “I wanted Christmas to feel normal but… we’ve been tiptoeing on egg shells around each other.”

Jordan’s expression softened, her shoulders dropping with quiet surrender, “I wanted Christmas to feel normal, too,” She admitted, “I tried to play along because that’s what you wanted and the girls deserve that… but we cannot keep pretending anymore. We needed to talk about this.”

“So, what happens now?” Leah questioned, her voice barely audible.

“Well…” Jordan took a shaky breath, trying to steady herself, “We keep looking after the girls. We still talk. We co-parent. We can even still live like a family for now… if you want? Nothing has to explode tonight.”

“Monkey is going to have a lot of questions,” Leah murmured, running her hand through her hair, “Thank god Buddy is still young to understand.”

“We answer them together. There’s no rush,” Jordan reassured, “There’s no timeframe on this.”

“Do you think you’ll be… happier without us?” Leah finally asked.

Jordan shook her head immediately, “No. God, no. I’m not happier without us. I just… I don’t think we fit together the way we used to.”

“You’re still my best friend,” Leah murmured, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from gathering.

“And you’re still mine,” Jordan whispered, her voice thick with emotion, “You always will be.”

Leah let out a small, shaky laugh, “We’ve had three kids together—that bond isn’t going anywhere.”

“We did, yeah,” Jordan swallowed hard, reaching for her hand instinctively, brushing her thumb lightly over Leah’s fingers, “Even the one we never got to meet.”

jordannobbs posted

liked by bethmead_ and 1,106 others

jordannobbs a christmas full of magic for our girls 🤍 and a quiet moment for our little one we'll always hold in our hearts ✨

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leahwilliamsonn our two perfect girls 🤍 grateful for every momemt with them today

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katie_mccabe11 your strength is unreal, mate. love you & the girls endessly 🤍

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bethmead_ oh buddy's little face with her santa hat on! 🎅🏼❤️ that bauble made me tear up—you're both the strongest, love you 🤍

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jenbeattie 🥺🪽 thinking of you all today, give the girls a big squeeze for me ❤️

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stephcatley such a beautiful post, jord. sending you all so much love today 🤍

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You're definitely not a fan of being forced to wear your coat, not one bit.

Amanda's suggestion is more of a non-negotiable one unfortunately as she bundles you up in it, "You need to stay warm, sweetheart." She insists.

"Don' like it," Your overall enthusiasm is dampened by the fact you're being forced to wear it, "Wan' it off!" You pout dramatically, and attempt to tug at the sleeves of it.

"It needs to stay on," Amanda tells you in a tone of voice that is both gentle but firm as well, "You'll be able to take it off when you walk out onto the pitch."

"Wan' it off now," Your little face scrunches up in displeasure, as you continue to fight against the idea of wearing it, "Please, Nana. Off now."

"Darling, you have to keep your coat on," Berny tries to reason with you, "You don't want to get poorly before Santa visits, do you?"

"No," You murmur, you don't like the idea of being poorly when Santa does pay a visit but you really don't like wearing your coat either, "I don' like it, Gan'ma!"

However, it's clear that your protests are doing little to convince anyone.

"I'm sure you'll cope, munchkin," Jacob says, a smirk plastered on his face as he proceeds to playfully pull the hood over your head, "Can you still see?"

"Uncle J! Can' see now!" You whine while scowling at the older lad, who is still laughing about it, "Nana! Tell Uncle J off, he's bein' a meanie!"

"Oh is he? What's he like, eh?" Amanda chuckles, shaking her head as she gives Jacob a certain look, "Don't wind her up."

"Thank 'ou," You nod, satisfied with that before you decide to stick your tongue out at him, "Ou' gotta listen to Nana, Uncle J!"

Jacob holds both his hands up in mock surrender, "Alright, alright. I guess I have no choice now, do I?" He jokes.

"No! Ou' gotta listen and be nice!" You insist while you give him a glare that is scarily identical to Leah's, but it's never reserved for you, only Monkey when she's causing trouble as it's been said in the past.

Your favourite person gets into a lot of trouble, though, so she's always getting the glare.

"Oh, here they are!" Berny exclaims, gesturing to the group of people that are nearing you, your aunts, uncles and cousins all donned out in their own England shirts and scarves.

"Sorry, the traffic on the road was manic," One of your aunties explains, while they all exchange hugs with one another.

"Holly! Holly!" You squeal, excitedly racing towards the older girl and instantly latching your small arms around her legs, "We gon' see Mummy and Monkey!"

"Hi, Buddy!" Holly smiles, hoisting you up into her arms and adjusting you so you're sitting comfortably on her hip, "I know. Are you excited?"

"Yes!" You nod in triumph, not lasting long in her arms before you're wriggling and trying to get back down, only to run to your older cousin, Ben, who is chatting away to Jacob, "Ben!"

"Hiya, cheeky chops," The lad grins and ruffles your hair, "Wow, don't you look cool in your England kit, eh? Ready to walk out on the pitch?"

"Uh huh. I'm 'cited for it!" You tell them, practically vibrating with excitement as you bounce between all of the older adults all in the middle of their own conversations, "We go now?"

"Come on little miss impatient," Amanda chuckles, extending her hand out for you to take before you begin the climb up the steps to get to the stadium.

"I not impatient, Nana!" You insist, clutching a tight hold of her hand, though you're about half way there when you get fed up of walking, "I don' want to walk no more."

"Oh I guess one of us will just have to carry you, huh?" Jacob jokes, leaning down and scooping you up into his arms, "Uncle J to the rescue!"

"Thank 'ou, Uncle J!" You murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck while resting your head on his shoulder.

"You're welcome, munchkin," Jacob retorts, carrying you up the rest of the steps.

You continue to snuggle against him, relieved to be off the ground as you suddenly spot a large blown up picture of Leah hanging directly above your head, "Look, look, there's my Mummy!" You stretch your little fingers to gesture towards it.

"Oh yeah, so it is!" Berny smiles at your general excitement, "It won't be long until you can see her for real now, darling."

"Yeah!" The mention of that instantly lifts your mood, considering you haven't seen Leah nor Monkey since the start of the week - You had spent the majority of the week with Jordan, and now you'll finally be able to see them again, "And Monks' as well!"

"And Monks, of course," Amanda nods, listening to your animated chatter, "I bet your big sister will be so happy to see you again, won't she?"

"Uh huh! I 'cited to see her!" You exclaim, happy about the chance to see your favourite person soon enough.

You make it all the way to the top of the steps with Jacob holding you in his arms, and your eyes are wide as you take in the large crowd of fans all dressed in England shirts, hats and scarves.

Although, there's some that are wearing a badge that you don't recognise, and you're confused who they are.

"Bit busy, ain't it?" Ben questions aloud.

"Only a bit," Jacob chuckles, while keeping a tight hold of you so you don't fall, "Isn't this game meant to be sold out?"

"I think so," Holly chimes in after a few seconds, "It'll be better when we're inside and able to sit down." She adds.

You pass through a brief check in with security before you all head to the friends and family section of Wembley. 

“Think I'll head to the bar to grab a drink,” Ben brings up the idea, spotting the bar. 

"Me wan' a drink as well!" You pipe up in the conversation, lifting your head from Jacob's shoulder.

"Oh you, do you?" Ben grins at you, "Well I can do you a fruit shoot, or orange juice, or apple juice. What do you fancy?" He asks.

You ponder the question for a few seconds, resting your little finger on your chin and tap it, "Fruit shoot, please!"

"You got it, cheeky chops!" The older lad nods in agreement, "One fruit shoot, coming right up!"

"Nana! Nana!" You shout aloud, trying to get her attention while she has a conversation with a member of the family, "Bens' getting me a fruit shoot!" You tell her like it's the best news you've received all day.

Amanda turns and gasps in mock excitement, "Is he? Wow! Aren't you a lucky girl!" She retorts, "Remember to tell him thank you."

"Thank 'ou Ben!" You tell the older lad, who just chuckles and ruffles your hair much to your displeasure, "Hey! Don' touch my hair. It get ruined!"

Ben held his hands up in mock-surrender, "Sorry, cheeky chops."

"So 'ou should be!" You scowl at him and attempt to be intimidating, "Don' touch it again, or you'll be in trouble!"

"Alright, I won't touch it again," Ben agrees, trying to stifle his laughter, "I'll go and get you that drink now, shall I?" He doesn't wait for your reply, before starting to dip off in the direction of the bar.

"I'll come with you, just give me a second," Jacob tells Ben, gently plonking you back down on the floor, "Down you go, munchkin." You're not happy about being put down, but at least you can run around without getting lost now.

And then you remember you're still wearing your coat, which you're not happy about.

"Nana," You whine and tug on Amanda's hand to get her attention, pulling her from her conversation with another lady, who you vaguely recognise as Keira's mum, Tracy, "Nana, coat off now, please."

"Hello there, Buddy!" Tracy greets you in a friendly tone of voice, "Are you excited to be here, and watch the match?"

"Uh huh! I walk out on the pitch with Mummy!" You tell her, nodding your head a little bit, wriggling to try and get free from the horrible coat, "Off, Nana!" You insist.

Amanda chuckles, crouching down to undo the zip on your coat, "Is that better now, huh?" She asks, taking your coat and holding it in her arms, "Let Nana know when you get cold again, please, okay?"

"I no cold, it' okay!" You insist, twirling around in a circle a few times, "When can I gets' to see Mummy?"

"Sooner than you think, bubba," You instantly recognise the familiar voice straight away and spin around, your eyes are wide and you don't waste a single second to dart straight for you.

"Here she is," Amanda chuckles, watching you as you get even more excited, "See? I told you that you would see her soon, didn't I?"

"Mummy!" You're vibrating with excitement as Leah leans down and scoops you up into her arms, "'Ou're 'ere! I missed 'ou so much!"

"Oh, I've missed you as well, bubba," Leah squeezes you tightly as she holds you in her arms, reluctant to let go of you considering it's been a whole week since she's seen you, "Have you had a good time staying at Mama's house?"

"Uh huh! Lots' of fun!" You insist as you nod your head in agreement, before you gasp when you look at her, "Mummy! I look just like 'ou! See?" You’re almost identical, both in England kits as you point to the crest on your own kit.

Leah gasps playfully in realisation, "Wow, so you do! You're my very own little mascot! You just need my captain’s armband, and then you’ll look exactly like me, won't you?" She bounces you in her arms, which makes you burst into a fit of giggles. "Are you excited to walk out onto the pitch with me?"

You nod in agreement, "I 'cited for it, Mummy!" Even though you might only be three years old, you’ve had the fortunate luck of being able to be a mascot on several different occasions - for Leah, Jordan and even your favourite person, Monkey.

Today was special though, at least so you had been told that - England were playing at home at Wembley Stadium.

"Good, I'm glad," Leah smiles and moves a stray strand of hair out of your face, "It's going to be very loud out there with lots of flashing lights and things, but Mummy can hold you in her arms if you want?"

"That' okay, I want to walk!" You insist, your fingers fumbling with the necklace that she has around her neck that has your birthstone in it, "We see Monks' as well?"

"Of course, she's been driving me insane about when she's going to see you," Leah dramatically exaggerates, "And I have a surprise for you as well, bubba." She states, looking over you to smile at Amanda, like they're having a private conversation between the two of them.

Little did you know that Leah had arranged to have you spend the rest of camp with her and Monkey, so instead of going home after the match with Amanda, Jacob and Berny like you thought, instead you would be travelling back to St. George’s park with Leah, Monkey and the rest of the Lionesses.

You were of course unaware of the fact that Leah had been struggling without you around, and with the date looming of what would have been the birth date of the baby her and Jordan were expecting before you came along, times were increasingly hard and emotional right now, and with special permission from Sarina, you would be allowed to join them.

You gasp in excitement, your eyes wide, "A 'prise? What is it?" You question, keen to know.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I were to tell you already, would it?" Leah jokes, tickling your sides' where she knows you're the most ticklish, "You'll have to wait and see until after the game, okay?"

"Okay," You pout, not liking the idea of having to wait all that long.

"It's only a bit longer," Leah playfully pokes your nose to get a smile out of you, "You can wait to find out then, can't you?"

"I 'spose so," You reluctantly agree with her, though you still wish that you can know sooner, "Look, Nana. Mummy's here!" You tell the older woman, excitedly, as if she doesn't already know she's here, with you all.

"I know, sweetheart," Amanda smiles, handing your coat over to Leah to take, "Hi bubba." She greets Leah, exchanging a hug with you still settled in her arms, because you refuse to be away from her right now.

"Hey, look who it is!" Ben speaks aloud, walking back through with drinks in his hand, "Here's your fruit shoot I promised, cheeky chops."

"Fruit shoot!" You squeal in excitement, happily taking the bottle from the older lad and proceed to attempt to open it with your teeth, "Mummy, ‘elp please!" You demand, pouting that you can't get it open.

"Wow, you got a fruit shoot? Aren't you lucky," Leah gasps playfully, helping you take off the lid when she sees you're struggling with it, "Here, bubba. Did you say thank you?" She asks.

"Thank 'ou Ben!" You exclaim gleefully, happy enough to have a purple fruit shoot now as you take a big gulp of it, "Uncle J! Look, Mummy's here, see?"

Jacob chuckles, "I can see, munchkin," He pauses, exchanging a brief hug with Leah, "Hey, sis. Did Mum tell you that she woke me up at 5 this morning? Why do kids' wake up that early? It's bizarre, I like to sleep and well, your child definitely did not want to do that."

"Be grateful that you only have to deal with it once in a while," Leah retorts, patting Jacob on the shoulder, "You learn that once you have a child then sleep goes out of the window, entirely."

"Yeah, Le, I love my niece and all, but well, I really also love sleep," Jacob insists while leaning over to ruffle your hair playfully, "No offence, munchkin."

"Stop, Uncle J!" You grumble, batting his hands away while scowling at him before you rest your head on Leah's shoulder.

"You're so easy to wind up sometimes," Jacob teases, finding the whole situation amusing to himself.

"J, please stop winding her up," Leah tells her brother in a serious tone of voice, "Honestly, you're as bad as Monkey sometimes, I swear."

"Hey! Where is Monks'?" Jacob questions eagerly, looking around for your favourite person, "You didn't bring her up here, with you? Well, that's just no fun now, is it?"

Leah snorts in response, "Yeah, I had the right idea to not do that because you pair are a nightmare together. She's with the rest of the girls," She pauses, "Right, bubba, shall me, you and Holly head down and join them?"

You lift your head from Leah's shoulder and nod, "Yes! We go and find Monks' now?"

"Yeah, we're going to see her now," Leah ressaures you with a soft chuckle, adjusting you on her hip as she nods goodbye to the rest of the family, "You lot enjoy yourselves. I'll see you after the game!"

"Good luck, bubba!" Amanda calls after Leah with a proud smile, waving at you both, "We'll be cheering you on from up here!"

"I be back in a bit!" You wave at them all, excitedly.

“Have fun, munchkin!” Jacob exclaims, taking a sip of his drink.

Leah flashes Amanda a grin before turning her attention back to you, "Alright, lets' go find your big sister. She's been pestering me all day about when she gets to see you."

"Monks' missed me?" Your eyes light up with excitement at the thought.

"Of course she did! She's been telling everyone that you're the best mascot ever," Leah replies, her tone playful but affectionate, "Although, she did say she's the best big sister in the world too, along with other things' but she is very excited to see you, bubba!"

“Le! Thank God you’re back– There’s my favourite niece!” Keira exclaims, rounding the corner as she spots you all, with you in Leah’s arms and gets distracted from what she was going to say, “Hi Buddy!”

“Auntie Kei!” You lean towards her, reaching out for a cuddle with her after not seeing her in many months since she lives over in Spain now.

Keira eagerly takes you out of Leah’s arms, “I missed you. I have something for you!”

“I wan’ it! What is it?” Your curiosity is piqued now and you want to know.

“You’ll have to wait and see, won’t you?” Keira teases as she playfully pokes your nose.

“What’s going on, Kei?” Leah arches her eyebrow in confusion.

“Oh, yeah!” Keira suddenly remembers what she meant to tell Leah, “Take a look yourself…” She murmurs with a nod of her head inside the dressing room, her attention completely on you now.

Leah continues to look bewildered as she pushes the door of the dressing room open to find Monkey and Grace in the middle of a heated debate, “What’s going on?”

“Mum!” Your favourite person turns her attention to Leah, “Mum, you have to back me up here– Buddy! You’re finally here!” Her attention goes straight to you, rushing over and taking you from Keira without any hesitation.

“Monks’!” You squeal, excited to finally be able to see her after almost a week.

“Menace, why aren’t you ready?” Leah already looks ready to pop a vein as she pinches the bridge of her nose, “We need to go and warm up!”

“Yeah, but Muuuum, ‘ere, you need to listen to this first!” Monkey insists as you wrap your arms around her neck and rest your head on her shoulder, “Clinton cards ‘ere reckons that she can beat me in an arm wrestle, but that ain’t right, is it?” She rambles.

“What?” Leah questions in disbelief.

“I reckon I could do,” Grace states confidently as she gasps in a playful manner as she realises you’re here, “Hi Buddy! How’re you?” She questions, patting you on the head.

“Mate, she’s not a dog,” Monkey quips.

You like Grace and you find her somewhat funny, though you’re glad that she doesn’t play for yucky Spurs anymore.

“Yeah, I not a dog!” You parrot, sticking your tongue out at the older girl from the comfort of your big sister's arms.

Monkey chuckles, “You tell her, Buddy!”

“I would love to see an arm wrestle between you and Grace,” Georgia chimes in, coming over after she’s finished tying her laces, “Hi, tiny!”

“Auntie G!” You realise who it is and lean towards her for a cuddle with the girl, “Monks’ down now! I wan’ Auntie G!”

“What? Traitor,” Monkey huffs, begrudgingly placing you down on the floor so you can toddle over to Georgia, who scoops you up into her arms, “So, Mum, whatcha reckon... I could definitely beat her, right?”

Leah pinches the bridge of her nose and exhales a sigh, “Monkey, get ready!” She tells her in a firm tone of voice, “Honestly, I left you alone for what, ten minutes? Stop messing about, now.”

“Oooh. You’re in trouble now,” Grace takes the opportunity to wind Monkey up, smirking in amusement, “Better listen to your Mum now, eh?”

“Shut up,” Monkey grumbles while slouching her shoulders, “Come on Mum, help me out here, will you?”

Leah clicks her tongue and crosses her arms over her chest, “Get ready. Now."

“Urgh, such a buzzkill sometimes,” Monkey mutters to herself as she walks back over to her stuff on the bench and proceeds to get ready, “Told you we should’ve been quicker.”

“Monks’ in trouble with Mummy,” You tell Georgia knowingly.

Georgia chuckles in response, “I think she might be. What’s she like, eh?”

“A menace to society,” Leah mumbles, turning her attention back to you again, “Right, bubba, Mummy needs to go and warm up on the pitch now. You’re going to stay with Holly until I come back, alright?”

“Nooo!” You whine, reaching out to be back in her arms again because you don’t want to be too far away from her, “Me wan’ stay with ou'!”

“I know you do, but I can’t let you come on the pitch while we warm up, can I?” Leah chuckles, moving to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “You’ll have fun with Holly, and I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.”

You still don’t like that answer though, “No, wan’ stay with ou'!”

“Bubba, Mummy has to go out on the pitch and it’s not safe for you to be on there right now,” Leah explains to you in a gentle tone of voice, “You might get hurt and we don’t want that, do we? If you stay with Holly then you’ll be safe.”

You rest your head on her shoulder as you nod, “I come watch ‘ou warm up?” You ask, though it sounds muffled since you have your fingers in your mouth.

“Okay. You can from the safety of the sidelines,” Leah agrees, gently taking your fingers out of your mouth, “Don’t put your fingers in your mouth, bubba. Yucky germs, remember?” She reminds you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Nooo! Me be on da pitch with ou'!” You still can’t grasp the idea of not being able to be there at the same time, “No sidelines, Mummy!”

Leah exhales a sigh, shaking her head in disagreement, “You can’t, Buddy. You can watch from the sidelines though, okay? You’ll still be able to see me just the same.” She tells you.

You scrunch your face up, “No, me wan’ be on da pitch! No sidelines!”

“Okay, let's take a minute to calm down,” Leah recognises the tell-tale signs of a brewing tantrum and steps to the side with you away from the rest of the girls, placing you down on the floor as she crouches to your level, “Listen to Mummy, bubba. I know you want to be on the pitch, but it’s really not safe when there’ll be a lot going on there, okay?”

“No!” You stomp your foot in disagreement and cross your arms over your chest, “Me no like ou'!”

“You don’t?” Leah feigns her hurt, clutching her hand over her heart, “When you say things like that, they really hurt Mummy’s feelings. You don’t mean that, do you?”

You continue to stand there in a grump, “I do! Ou' mean for not lettin’ me go on pitch!”

“Oh,” Leah murmurs, feeling hurt from your sudden rejection, “Well that’s okay, Mummy is just trying to keep you safe, bubba, because I love you very much and it would upset me if you did get hurt,” She adds.

“Me no like ou' anymore! Ou' mean Mummy!” You exclaim, not understanding that your words were really making such a big impact at the moment, “Me no like ‘ou!” You repeat.

“Buddy, that’s not very nice to say to your Mummy,” Keira wanders over and hears the conversation, crouching down to your level, “Your Mummy loves you so much, she’s just trying to keep you safe and not let you get hurt, because then you’d be upset if that happened, wouldn’t you?”

“She is mean! She won’ let me on pitch!” You insist, stomping your feet again for good measure, “I don’ like her no more!” You repeat.

“I’m sure you don’t mean that,” Keira frowns, glancing at Leah who looks almost close to tears at your harsh words, “You're upsetting your Mummy when you say things like that, Tiny. I’m sure you don’t want your Mummy to cry, do you?”

You think about what Keira has said for a few seconds before shaking your head, “No…”

“I know you don’t,” Keira nods in agreement, “I have something for you, but before I do, I need you to say sorry to your Mummy because it’s not kind to say things like that, is it?”

“No, I don’ mean it,” You tell her as you turn back around to face Leah, “I sorry Mummy! I didn’ mean it! I love ou'!” You exclaim, wrapping your small arms around her legs and peering up at her with an innocent face.

Leah smiles faintly as she crouches down to be at your level and wrap her arms around your small frame, “It’s okay, bubba,” She pauses, “I know you might be upset with Mummy, but I only ever say no to things because I love you and I want to protect you.”

“I no mean to make ou' cry,” You mumble as you observe the faint tear that rolls down Leah’s cheek, “Don’ cry, Mummy. Don’ be sad!”

Leah continues to hold you close to her as she moves a hand to wipe the stray tear away, “I’m not sad, bubba. I promise,” She tells you, “Mummy just loves you so much, you know? You’re my rainbow after the storm.”

“Don’ be sad Mummy. It’ be okay!” You tell her, moving your own hand to wipe her tears away, “I love ou' lots!”

You don’t really understand what Leah meant, but you know that she’s sad and that means an extra special hug with her.

“Right then,” Leah speaks up after a few seconds, “I think Auntie Kei has something special for you, doesn’t she? Do you want to see what it is?”

“I wan’ see it!” You exclaim, excited at the mention of getting to see what Keira has got for you, “What is it, Auntie Kei?”

“Come over here with me and have a look then,” Keira motions you over to where she has moved to stand with something hidden behind her back, “It’s something special I think you’re gonna like.”

You scrunch your face up in confusion, “What is it?”

“Ta-Da!” Keira pulls a small ball from out behind her back with a small red and blue ball with the England emblem on it, “Here you go, Tiny. It’s for you!”

Your eyes lit up in pure excitement, “Ball! Is mine?” You ask, plucking it from her hands.

“It’s all yours,” Keira nods in agreement, “Now you go and kick it about with Holly on the sidelines while we warm up, can’t you? It’ll be like you're warming up as well!”

“Me too?” You ask, gleefully.

“Exactly, it’s important that you warm up before the big game,” Keira insists, playfully poking you on your nose, “Can you do that for me?”

“Ou' got it dude!” You stick your thumb up and nod in agreement, before bounding off towards Holly who’s just entered the dressing room as you clutch your new ball under your arm, “Holly! Look at me’ ball I got!”

“Whoa! Is that yours? That’s so cool!” Holly gasps in a playful manner, “Me and you can kick that around, can’t we?”

“Uh huh!” You insist, nodding your head, “Look, it’ got England on it!”

“Problem solved, eh?” Keira gives Leah a faint smile, wrapping a free arm around her shoulder, despite the fact that the two of them are neither a hugger, the midfielder knows that Leah needs it right now, “I’m here for you mate, I know it’s tough around this time right now.”

“Thank you,” Leah murmurs to her best friend, returning the hug with barely any words exchanged, but she’s still grateful for her stepping in at the right time, “I don’t think I was prepared for a tantrum, not right now, at least.”

Keira hums in agreement, “I know mate, I can understand that.”

“I think she might be getting tired,” Leah explains, exhaling a sigh, “But that might be due to the fact she’s awake since 5 am this morning apparently.”

“Ouch,” Keira grimaces at the mention of that, “It sounds like you might have your hands full tonight then.”

“Oh, don’t I know it?” Leah covers her sadness up with a chuckle, “I’m hoping that she’ll go to sleep when we’re back at St. George’s park, but knowing my luck, my two will be running about.”

Keira laughs, patting Leah on the shoulder, “Well, better you than me, mate. Better you than me.”

"Mummy! Mummy!" You impatiently tug on Leah's hand to get her attention while she is in the middle of chatting to Mary, who's standing behind her in the tunnel, "Mummy, I need to ask ou' somethin'!"

"Sounds like it's something really important, eh, Buddy?" Mary jokes while she gives you a cheeky wink.

"It' is!" You insist with a nod of your head.

Leah turns around to give you her full attention, "What's the matter, bubba?"

"How long do we gots' to wait?" You question, fed up with waiting around in the tunnel to walk out onto the pitch, "It feels like we been waitin' forever!"

"It hasn't been that long, silly," Leah chuckles, brushing a stray curl from your face, "Just a little bit longer. Are you getting tired?" She asks, concerned.

You shake your head in disagreement, "No, I not tired, I just bored!" You tell her, letting out a dramatic huff, "Mummy! I need to tell ou' somethin'!"

"You do? What do you want to tell me?" Leah asks out of curiosity.

"One day when I' older like 'ou, I'm gon' be a lion... lioness!" You declare proudly, your tiny voice full of determination, "And be like Mama an' Monks' too!"

Leah hums, smiling softly at you, "You already are my little lioness, bubba."

"No, Mummy, I wan' be a real lioness just like 'ou!" You exclaim, trying to express your seriousness about the subject that you really do want to be just like her, "I wan' be like 'ou!"

"One day you will be," Leah promises as she playfully pokes you on the nose lightly.

You can hear the noise from inside the stadium getting louder as it echoes through the tunnel and your tiny hand squeezes Leah's tightly, "Mummy! There lots of music, an' it loud!" You complain, not too much a fan of the loudness.

"It does sound loud, doesn't it?" Leah laughs and places her own hands over your ears, "Is that better now, bubba?"

"Uh huh. Dat better!" You nod in agreement, moving to lean into her side and wrap your small arms around her legs, "Why do we gots' to wait so long? I bored!"

Leah chuckles at your question, "Patience, little miss."

"But I bored now. I wan' walk out!" You whine, not keen on the idea of standing in the tunnel instead, "How' long now?" You question.

"Not too long to wait now," Leah retorts, amusedly.

Clearly that answer isn't good enough by your response of letting out an exaggerated sigh, "I bored waiting now, Mummy! Can ou' tell 'em to hurry up?"

"You're starting to sound like your big sister," Leah teases.

"I be like Monks'!" You proudly declare, puffing out your chest.

"I heard my name mentioned," Your favourite person pops up out of nowhere, appearing behind you.

"Monks'!" You exclaim, excited to see her, "Mummy says' I sound just like ou'!"

Monkey playfully gasps, "You do? Wow. I think that's a compliment!" She insists, "Are you ready to walk out soon?"

"Yeah, but it sound so loud out der!" You tell her.

Monkey hums in agreement, "It does sound a bit loud, doesn't it?" She pauses for a brief second, "Oh! Remember though, when you walk out, you've gotta wave at everyone and smile for the cameras!"

"Will Mama be able to see me?" You ask, excited for Jordan to be able to see you on the TV.

"Probably, yeah!" Monkey agrees.

Your eyes light up in pure excitement, "Mummy! Monks' said dat Mama will be able to see me on da telly!"

"That's right, bubba," Leah nods in agreement, "I bet Mama will be watching so she'll be able to see you walking out."

"An' Nana, too?" You wonder, fascinated that everyone will be able to see you on the big screen.

"Mhm, Nana's up in the crowd, isn't she?" Leah retorts, amused by your amazement, "You'll have to give her a big wave so you can ask if she saw you, won't you?"

"Yeah!" You exclaim loudly.

Monkey huffs in protest, "Bit miffed I didn't get to see her before the game."

"There's still plenty of time afterwards, don't worry, you've not been forgotten," Leah teases.

"Yeah, don' worry Monks'! Nana will still be de for ou' to see after!" You parrot Leah's words, which earns a laugh by the players around, "Mummy! Can I hold our' flag? I wan' hold it!"

"You do?" Leah asks with a playful gasp, "It's an important job, so you need to make sure to hold it tightly and don't drop it, do you think you can manage it?"

"Ou' got it dude!" You agree, sticking your thumb up at her.

Leah laughs and hands you the flag for you to hold, "Alright, hold onto it tightly for me then, bubba."

"Look, Monks' I gets to hold da flag!" You tell Monkey, excitedly.

"Wow, that's cool!" Money retorts, playfully ruffling your hair, "That's a super important thing to do!"

Your excitement is quickly overshadowed by grumpiness due to being tired, and it tips the scale at that moment, "No, Monks' stop it! I don' like it!" You tell her while giving her a small scowl.

"Geesh, someone needs a nap," Monkey can't help but wind you up even more, continuing to ruffle your hair, "Why are you in a grump?"

"STOP IT!" You shout directly at your big sister.

"Buddy," Leah chastises you in a gentle but firm tone of voice, "Hey, there's no need to shout, is there?"

"Mummy! Tell Monks' to stop!" You whine, peering up to look at Leah with a grumpy expression on your face, "She doin' my 'ead in! Keep messin' up me hair! Tell 'er to stop doin' it!"

Leah stifles her laughter as you have a certain flair for dramatics, "Quit it, Menace."

"What?" Monkey murmurs, holding her hands up in protest, "I didn't do out. You have no proof!"

"Just stop being a nuisance, will you, please?" Leah asks, exhaling a sigh.

You signal to be picked up, lifting your arms above your head without any words due to your tiredness.

Leah leans down and scoops you up into her arms, "She's already tired, and I don't need you to be winding her up even more, okay?"

"Alright, alright," Monkey reluctantly agrees, slumping her shoulders, "Tattle-tail."

"Monkey!" Leah scolds her while giving her a stern look, "What did I just say--Go back and stand in the line. You're not helping matters here."

"Geesh, maybe you need a nap as well," Monkey doesn't miss the opportunity to say as she starts to move back to her original place in the line in between Jess Naz and Jess Carter.

Leah arches her eyebrow, "I heard that."

"Good, cos' you were meant to," Monkey replies, cheekily before she proceeds to poke Georgia.

"What's she like, eh?" Leah murmurs, tucking a fly away hair out of your face as you rest your head on her shoulder, "Are you getting tired now, bubba?"

"Uh huh," You nod in agreement as a small yawn slips past your mouth, "I tired now Mummy! Walk out soon?"

"Very soon now," Leah reassures you as she gently bounces you in her arms, "Do you want Mummy to carry you, or do you want to walk out?"

"I walk!" You mumble as you tiredly rub your eyes, "Down please!" You insist as you wriggle about, wanting to be back down on the floor again.

You are currently too tired to really know what you right now, and Leah can tell that as time goes on, you're becoming more and more grumpy, which means it's only momentarily before you do fall asleep.

However, there's also the issue of you not sleeping later tonight then, and she's hoping that you can stay awake until the ride back on the coach.

"As you wish," Leah gently places you back down on the floor, but you're still feeling tired as you cling to her legs, just as it's time to walk out, "It's time now, bubba. Are you ready?" She questions, taking hold of your hand.

"I ready!" You agree, clutching hold of it as you tightly grasp the flag in your other hand.

"Let's go then my little lioness," Leah chuckles, leading the way to walk out of the tunnel with you right beside her.

As you begin to walk out from the tunnel with your hand clasped in Leah's, the roar of the crowd surrounds you and your eyes widen as you take it all in, "Hi Wembley!" You exclaim, your tiredness gone in that moment, "Mummy! Is' so loud, isn't it?"

"I know it is," Leah retorts, peering down at you with a soft smile, "You're doing a great job holding the flag for me, bubba."

"Me holdin' it for ou'!" You declare, proudly and make sure to keep a tight hold on it so you don't drop it.

There's a lot of people all standing up and cheering as Leah and the rest of the lionesses all line up, and you stand in front of Leah as she drapes her free arm around your shoulder.

You stand in front of Leah and look around the stadium with wide eyes, "Are all these people here to see me, Mummy?"

Leah can't help but laugh in amusement, "Not quite, bubba, but I think they will be happy to see you," She pauses, "Do you want to wave at them and say hello?"

"Yeah, I wan' wave to them!" You insist, letting go of Leah's hand to wave to the loud crowd around you, "I wavin' to 'em, Mummy!"

"You're stealing the show, Buddy," Mary chimes in, grinning at you.

"I wavin' to dem all, so Nana an' Uncle J an' Gan'ma can see me!" You ramble to Mary, "Hi, Nana! Hi, Uncle G! Hi, Gan'ma! Mummy, do ou' think dey can see me now I wavin' at 'em?"

"I think they might be able too," Leah chuckles as she motions over to the big screen, "Look, bubba, there's the camera. See? Give it a wave and you'll be able to see yourself on the big screen!" She exclaims, pointing with her index finger to the camera that's panning down the line of lionesses, before you peer up to where the TV shows you eagerly waving at the camera.

"Wow, Mummy. I can see me!" You squeal, vibrating with excitement, "I wave at da camera like ou' said to do!"

"Great job, Buddy!" Leah coos, as you start to shiver a bit from the bitter cold temperature in the stadium, so Leah does no more than take off her presentation jacket and drapes it around your arms, "Is that better, bubba?"

"Yeah! I cold!" You whine, feeling a bit more warmer with the jacket around you as you decide to be nosy and stick your head out, looking down the line at the opposing players, "Mummy! I can see Emily!" You state, excitedly.

"You can? Wow!" Leah says with a playful gasp, "You'll have to remember to say hi when we walk down the line, won't you?"

"Uh huh!" You nod in agreement, scrunching your face up in confusion when a song starts to play that you don't recognise, "What dis?" You ask.

"It's the USA's national anthem, bubba," Leah explains, "Just like we have ours, don't we?"

"I can sing about m' dino'daurs!" You say with a certain sense of determination.

Leah faintly chuckles while she shakes her head, "Maybe save that one for another day."

Nodding in agreement, you recognise the music for what you're told is England's' national anthem, but you would much prefer to sing about dinosaurs instead, in your opinion. You don't really know the words to this song, so you just stand there, your eyes gazing around the stadium as you continue to wave.

The next thing you know, you guess the song must have finished because everyone is starting to clap and the crowds' cheering gets louder and louder.

"Come on, bubba, we need to walk down the line now," Leah guides you in the direction to walk down and high five with the players on the USA team, "Give them a high five, Buddy." She gestures about what to do, exchange a high five with Lindsey Horan.

"Can I get a high five?" The blonde woman, known as Lindsey Horan questions, crouching down to your level as you go a bit shy, shaking your head and trying to hide behind Leah.

"Give her a high five, bubba," Leah tells you in a gentle tone of voice, but you remain firm in your decision and shake your head again, "Sorry. I think she's gone a bit shy."

You were hesitant to high five with the majority of the USA players, however when you saw Emily it was totally different, "Emily!" You shout, recognising the brunette from Arsenal, "Look, I got Mummy's flag cos' I special and gets to hold it!"

"You get to hold that? Wow, that's such an important role, munchkin!" Emily insists with a genuine smile on her face, crouching down to your level to give you a high five but to her surprise, you throw your small arms around her legs, "Oh, I get a hug? Thank you, Buddy!"

Leah blinks in surprise, your usual chatterbox self making an appearance again as she exchanges a high five with Emily, "Good luck, Foxy," She wishes her luck, "Come on, bubba, we need to make our way down the rest of the line." She says, encouraging you to keep walking to reach the end of the players.

"Mummy! I saw Emily an' gave her a hug!" You retort, like she wasn't just there to witness it, "Did ou' see?"

"I did see that, and it was very kind of you to do that," Leah nods in agreement, gesturing you to where the Lionesses all huddled together for a team photo.

"Are you going to be part of our team photo, Buddy?" Alessia questions, walking over as she's chucked her own presentation jacket off.

You nod your little head in agreement, "Yeah, I join! I like taking photos!"

Monkey appears by your side, "Do you want to come an' crouch beside me?"

"Yeah!" You move to stand beside Monkey, who's crouching on the grass as she protectively wraps her arm around your shoulder.

"Remember to say cheese, Buddy!" Lucy Bronze calls out from where she's stood behind you, to the right hand side of Leah.

"Or rotten tomatoes," Beth chimes in, jokingly.

You scrunch your face up in disgust, "Ew, rotten tomatoes' are gross, Auntie Beffy!"

Beth laughs in amusement, "Do you want to continue to hold the flag, or do you want me to hold onto it?"

"I do it!" You insist stubbornly, refusing to let go off the flag anytime soon.

"You got it," Beth says, holding her hands up in mock surrender, "Say cheese, Buddy!"

"Cheese!" You parrot, beaming a smile in the direction of the camera pointing directly at you, "I say cheese, Monks'!"

"Good job, Buddy!" Monkey exchanges a high five with you, "I bet that'll be a great photo when it comes out!"

"Me a lioness now!" You declare, promptly.

"You sure are," Georgia comes up behind you and scoops you up into her arms, dangling you over her shoulder so you're upside down.

"Ah! Put me down, Auntie G!" You squeal in protest, not keen on being upside down as you pound your tiny fists against your back, "Put me down."

"Are you sure you don't like being upside down?" Georgia teases.

Keira catches onto what Georgia is doing and grimaces, "G, you're gonna make her sick if you dangle her upside down like that."

"No, I don' like it!" You squeal in response, "Put me down. Now!"

"She's fine, don't worry," The younger girl responds as she laughs.

Leah's eyes widen in panic, "Georgia, do not drop my child!"

"Oh please, like that's not happened before," Georgia retorts as she rolls her eyes, swinging you around and placing you on the ground to relieve Leah's blood pressure, "Since when did you get so sassy, Tiny?"

Leah suddenly completely freezes and turns to look at her confused, "What?"

"Yeah, Monks' dropped me, Mummy!" You chime in at the perfect moment to drop the bombshell.

"What?" Leah's eyes are wide like saucers, standing there with her hands on her hips, while giving Monkey the look.

"No I didn't--that never happened! You have no proof!" Monkey tries to worm her way out of this one, attempting to look less guilty than she currently did, "Buddy! That was supposed to be a secret between us, remember?"

"I forgot," You admit, grinning at your big sister.

Monkey face palms and throws her head back for extra exaggeration, "I even gave you extra ice cream and everything!"

"You blackmail your sister?" Leah continues to look at Monkey in disbelief.

"Eh, well I think blackmailing is a bit extreme, Mum..." Monkey mumbles, scratching the back of her neck, "It was more like bribing her..."

"Monkey!" Leah exclaims, outraged.

"What? I'm sorry--it was a complete accident, I swear! I didn't mean to drop her!" You insist, holding your hands up in self defence, "Total fluke."

Leah clicks her tongue and shakes her head, "Unbelievable," She mutters to herself.

"I mean... At least it was a soft landing," Monkey retorts, shrugging her shoulders.

"We'll talk more about this later," Leah reiterates to her, shaking her head as she realises she needs to get on with captain duties now, "Bubba, can Mummy have the flag now? You did such a good job keeping it safe, but I need it now."

"No!" You stubbornly refuse, shaking your head, "It mine now!"

"No, no, that's not how it works," Leah tells you with a gentle tone of voice, "Mummy needs to exchange it now with the USA captain, so I need it back, please."

"Nooo! It mine, Mummy! Ou' can' have it!" You whine, your tiredness slowly creeping in as you cling onto the flag in your hands.

"Bubba," Leah begins to speak still in a gentle voice, "Mummy needs it back now. If you want I can buy you one like it, but I need this one now, okay?" She continues to be patient and explain to you.

"No," Your stubbornness is even more evident with your tiredness, "It mine. Ou' can' have it, Mummy!"

Leah inwardly groans and bites her bottom lip, realising that you're not going to willingly give up the flag, "I'm sorry, Buddy, but Mummy needs it now," So with that in mind, she has to prise it out of your hands, which as expected, begins a whole different meltdown.

Only this time it's on the pitch, in front of several thousand fans.

"M' flag!" The waterworks instantly flow and you crumple down on the floor, "Give it back. Now." Your little voice demands, your sobs worsening as you throw yourself to the floor and hit your fists on the pitch.

Leah feels truly awful in that minute, she wants to reach down, scoop you up in her arms and comfort you, however, she needs to deal with captain duties, so she's really torn.

"Oh dear," Beth takes note of the situation and frowns, crouching down to your level, gesturing for Leah to do what she needs to do, "What's happened here? You were so smiley five minutes ago then, Buddy!" She coos, knowing full well how to tackle a tantrum now.

Your bottom lip trembles, visibly upset, "Mummy took m' flag!"

"Your flag?" Beth furrows her eyebrow in confusion, "Oh you don't want that one, I bet we can find you one that's much cooler than that, what do you reckon?" She suggests the idea that will solve the problem.

"I like it, doh'!" You tell her, your sobs' still evident as tears roll down your cheeks.

"Yeah, but I bet you we can find an Arsenal one, or I think we can get one especially made for you," Beth continues to suggest, "Wouldn't that be cool?"

"M' okay den," You don't hesitate to think about it, nodding in agreement.

"But we can't do that if you're crying now, can we?" Beth teases, leaning forward to wipe a stray tear from face.

You shake your head in disagreement, "No..."

"Exactly, now where's our smiley Buddy gone?" Beth questions, hoping to make you smile again.

"Ere' I am!" You exclaim, your upset starting to differ at the change of subject.

"That's much better," Beth retorts with a soft smile, "We can't have a frowny Buddy can we? I think we all much prefer a smiley Buddy!"

"I smile!" Your tears start to slowly subside, spotting Leah heading back over to you, "Mummy! Auntie Beth said I can have own flag!"

"Oh, really? I'm sure that can be arranged," Leah remarks in agreement, nodding her head as she mouths a quick "thank you" to Beth that you don't pay much attention to her, "Right, bubba, it's time for the game to start now. You're going to go back and sit with everyone now, alright?"

"Yeah, I go back an' find Nana. I tell her 'bout everythn'!" You insist in agreement, "I go find Holly?"

"She's right over there, can you see her?" Leah motions over to where Holly is standing just inside of the tunnel out of the way as she gives you a little wave, "You run to her, and Mummy will see you after the game finishes, okay?"

"Okay, Mummy! I cheer super loud for ou'!" You say with a sense of determination as you wrap your tiny arms around her legs, "I see ou' in bit! I love 'ou!"

Leah pulls you into her arms and squeezes you tightly for a brief couple of seconds, "I love you too, bubba!" She tells you, kissing you on the forehead, "Be good, alright? I'll see you in a bit."

"I see ou' in a bit!" You repeat, pulling out of the hug as you start to toddle towards Holly in the tunnel, "Holly! Did ou' see me wavin' on da big screen? I wavin' so everyone can see me!"

"I did see you!" Holly nods in agreement as you let a yawn escape your mouth, "Shall we go and find everyone now, huh? You can tell us all about it!"

"Uh huh!" You agree, holding your arms up and without any further words, Holly easily scoops you up into her arms.

"Someone's tired, aren't they?" Holly coos, rubbing soothing circles on your back as your eyes begin to flutter shut, despite your attempts to keep them open, “Come on sleepy girl, let’s get you somewhere you can have a nap.”

"Hey, there's our little superstar!" Amanda's brother, your Great-Uncle exclaims, as he spots you and Holly walk back to the box, "Did you have fun out there, kiddo?"

"Uh huh! Lots' of fun!" You tell them enthusiastically, your small hands fumbling with Holly's necklace around her neck.

"We saw you on the big screen, munchkin!" Jacob chimes in.

"Yeah! I walk out der!" You say as you start to wriggle in Holly's arms to get down, wanting to be the centre of attention, "I was wavin' to ou' all!"

Berny hums in agreement, "We saw. You did a great job, darling!"

"I gots to hold Mummys' flag!" You exclaim, bouncing up and down on your tip-toes, "An' I took picture with 'em!"

"Wow," Ben gasps playfully, "It sounds like you had a lot of fun out there!"

You nod enthusiastically, your tiredness overshadowed by pure excitement, "I fun! I' did an important job holding it! I' a Lioness!"

"You did, it is an important job, isn't it?" Amanda smiles at your excitement, "Alright then, Little Lioness, the games about to kick off now. Where do you want to sit to watch it?"

"I sit with Uncle J!" You insist, toddling over to him and attempting to climb up onto his lap, "I' need 'elp, p'ease!"

Jacob chuckles in amusement, leaning down to scoop you up, and plonking you on his lap, "Better, munchkin?"

"Better!" You agree, just as a small yawn escapes your mouth, "I no tired!"

"Are you sure?" Jacob laughs, tickling your sides which worsens your mood, "Maybe that has something to do with you waking me up so early this morning, eh?" He jokes.

You turn around, scowling at the lad, "Stop, Uncle J. I no like that!"

"You don't? But you were so happy to wake me up this morning, so I thought I would just return the favour!" Jacob grins, finding amusement in winding you up despite your own grumpiness.

"Stop it. No like it!" You whine, tiredly.

"Oh, I think someones' a bit tired, aren't they now?" Ben joins in, chuckling.

"I think so," Jacob retorts, "Wakey, wakey, Buddy!"

Amanda chuckles and shakes her head, "Son, don't wind her up,"

"I'm only doing the same thing she did to me this morning," Jacob replies, grinning from ear to ear.

"No! Stop it' Uncle J!" You reach your hands out to swat him, accidentally catching him in the face, "I no like it!"

Holly winces as she watches your little hand fly out and hit Jacob, "Oh dear."

"Ah, ah," Amanda reacts instantly, reaching over and plucking you off Jacob's lap, "We don't hit little miss. That's not very nice to do that."

You scowl in return, looking straight at her, "Nana, Uncle J's doin' my head in!"

"I know he is," Amanda finds it hard to stifle her laugh and be serious in the situation with the expression you are pulling, "But it's still not okay for you to hit him. We have to use gentle hands, remember?"

You're still in a sulk, crossing your arms over your chest, "He bein' meanie!" Your tiredness continues to take over, making everything seem like a complete meltdown.

"I know, but he's going to stop now," Amanda says as she looks at Jacob while she says it so it's more aimed at him, "I think you're a bit tired now, aren't you?"

You shake your head in protest, "I no tired!" You say just as you let another yawn again, "I go an' sit back on Uncle J!"

"That's fine, but you have to remember to be kind otherwise Uncle J won't want you to sit with him, will he?" Amanda reminds you in a tone of voice that is gentle but still held some firmness as well.

"I be nice!" You mumble, inching your way off Amanda's lap to clamber back onto Jacob's, "I sorry for hitting ou', Uncle J."

"That's alright, munchkin. I know you didn't mean to do it," Jacob responds, "I'm sorry for winding you up as well." He adds.

You move to rest your head on the lads' shoulder, "Dat okay." You mumble, your eyes are heavy with sleep as you fight to stay awake.

"You can sleep if you want?" Jacob whispers, rubbing small soothing circles on your back.

"I no tired," You whine while you still rest your head on his shoulder, "I be awake an' watch da game!"

Your determination didn't stretch very far and within the first twenty minutes of the game, so you end up flaking out on Jacob's lap. The chatter around lulling you to sleep even though you tried to refuse to sleep when the game is going on around you.

"So much for her not bein' tired, eh?" Ben jokes, leaning in towards Jacob.

Jacob chuckles, rocking you in his arms, "I know, that didn't take long at all,"

"Let's just hope that she will sleep tonight, otherwise Le's gonna be in for a tough one," Holly chimes in, knowingly.

"I imagine she'll be fine," Jacob retorts, shrugging his shoulders and letting you sleep peacefully, not shocked you're able to sleep through the noise in the stadium considering you are more than used to it now.

Just as the whistle blew for half time, you wake up from your brief nap and it's like the energy inside you has been restored as you become your usual chatterbox self once again.

"I'hungry now!" You declare, huffing as you rub the sleep from your eyes.

"You're the hungry little caterpillar, huh?" Jacob jokes.

You shake your head in protest, "No, I just a hungy' Buddy!" You tell him.

"Oh, right. My apologies, hungry Buddy," Jacob continues to joke, "Shall we get you something to fill that hole? I can hear noises coming from your tummy!" He exclaims, playfully gasping in shock.

"Uh huh! I' come with ou' to get it!" You tell him, wriggling to get off his lap so he can stand up.

"Okay," Jacob agrees with your decision.

"I'll join you. I need another drink," Ben chimes in, standing up from his own seat.

"Nana! I goin' wif Uncle J to get somethin' cos' I hungy'!" You exaggerate, rubbing your stomach for emphasis, "I be back in bit!"

Amanda chuckles at your little demands, "Oh, are you? Alright, well just remember to hold Uncle J's hand please."

"'Ou' got it, dude!" You stick your thumb up in response, before clutching hold of Jacob's hand and toddling off to get something to eat.

"She's such a little character sometimes, isn't she?" Holly chuckles in amusement.

"Oh she definitely is. She's definitely Leah's daughter," Berny jokes.

"Looks like it's a bit of a long queue," Ben retorts, motioning to it, "Do you know what you want to eat, cheeky chops?" He uses his usual nickname for you.

"Me wan' nuggets!" You declare, excitedly.

"Consider it done," Jacob nods in agreement as you continue to clutch a tight grip of his hand, though you become increasingly bored waiting and decide to make it known, very vocally.

"I bored, waitin'!" You whine impatiently to Jacob and Ben who are having their own conversation between the two of them, so you proceed to let go of Jacob's hand and tug on the male's jacket in front of you that you faintly recognise, "Hi. Ou' Lessi's brother!" You exclaim enthusiastically, recognising him from matches both at Arsenal and England.

The man spins around and peers down at you, "Hi, Buddy."

You gasp in shock, your eyes widening, "Ou' know my name?" You ask, a bit confused, "What our' name?"

"I do, I'm Luca," The man chuckles, crouching down to your level, "And your Leah and Jordan's little one, aren't you?"

You nod enthusiastically, "Yeah, I Buddy! Dat m' Mummy an' Mama's names!" You continue to gasp in amazement that he knows who they are, "Hey... Ou' not da one dat I saw in Australia!" You state, somewhat offended suddenly.

Luca chuckles, "I'm not."

"Where' he den'?" You scrunch your face up in confusion.

"That's my brother, Georgio," Luca explains to you, "He's in Australia, all the way on the other side of the world."

You gasp in amazement, "Dat where Ra' is! An' Stephy an' Caitlin!" You exclaim in excitement, "Ra' is Monks' best friend! "

Luca arches his eyebrow, a little confused with your rambling and trying to keep up with who is who, "Oh, are they? Who's Ra' again?"

You slump your shoulders and let out a small dramatic huff, "Kyra, duh!"

"Oh," Luca chuckles faintly, "Yeah, I've met her a few times... and Monks' is..." Luca's slightly confused with the different people.

"Monks' is m' big sister!" You exclaim, exaggerating another little huff, "An' dis is m' Uncle J and Ben!"

Jacob chuckles in amusement, "Alright, Luca? I see you've met our little chatterbox?"

"I no chat... I no one of them!" You find it hard to pronounce the correct words while pouting at Jacob, "I tell him 'bout Monks'!"

"Yeah, very interesting conversation," Luca plays along with your ramble, "I have been told all about the Aussie girls, and Monks' as well."

"Menace that one is," Ben quips in, "We're at the front of the queue now, cheeky chops. Is it just nuggets that you want?"

"An' chips as well!" You insist, promptly.

Jacob chuckles, "Can't forget the chips now, can we?" He jokes, reeling off the food you want and tapping his card to pay for said items.

"An' dippy sauce too!" You shout aloud.

Ben laughs, accepting the drinks hes' given as he takes a swig of one of them before passing one of them over to Jacob.

It's not long before Jacobs' handed over your chicken nuggets and chips, "Right, shall we go back to everyone now?"

"Uca' come too!" You peer up to look at Luca in question.

"Luca's sitting with his own family, munchkin. I'm sure you can see him in a bit though," Jacob explains, amused that you seem to have latched onto someone else who you barely know, "Let's go show Nana what you've got, yeah?"

"Okay... But I see ou' in a bit, 'Uca!" You wave enthusiastically at your new friend, before toddling off with Jacob and Ben back to your box, "I back now!"

"Oh I thought it was quiet around here," Holly retorts playfully.

"I not quiet!" You tell her, confused.

Berny chuckles in amusement, "What've you got there, darling?"

"Nuggets an' chips!" You say, pointing to each item that you have in Jacob's hands, "An' dippy sauce as well!"

"Wow, that looks good," Amanda states, helping you sit in your own seat before Jacob carefully hands you your meal, "Careful when you eat it, sweetheart. It might still be a bit hot." She warns, gently.

"It 'kay. I be careful!" You insist, kicking your little legs as you tuck into your chicken nuggets and chips, "M' it nice! I' no share either!" You add, speaking with your mouthful.

"Game 'over now?" You hear the final whistle blow to signal the end of the game, which ends in a result of nil - nil with a penalty overruled by a VAR decision. 

Amanda nods in agreement, "It is now, sweetheart."

"I see Mummy and Monks' now?" You question, eager to see both of them.

"They'll both be coming up here soon," Amanda explains, reaching over to wipe a bit of sauce off your cheek with a napkin, "You just have to be patient a little bit longer, okay?"

"I bored waitin' though!" You huff dramatically, resting your chin on your hand as you kick your legs, "I wait... but I no like waitin'!"

Jacob laughs, leaning forward to ruffle your hair gently, "You're so patient, aren't you, munchkin?"

"I no patient!" You correct him indignantly, your little pout returning as you munch on a chip, "I wanna see 'em now! Mummy said I see her after!"

"She will come as soon as she can," Amanda reassures you with a soft smile, "Why don't you finish your food first, and then I'm sure they'll be upstairs before you know it, hm?"

Your eyes brighten a little at the idea of that, "Okay, Nana! I eat first so I see her quicker!"

Ben chuckles, "I don't think that's how it works, cheeky chops. Be careful you don't choke now, alright?"

You give him a dramatic thumbs up before stuffing another nugget in your mouth, chewing determinedly as you hope it makes the time go quicker.

You don't know how much time has passed before you feel someone cover your eyes with their hands, "Boo!" You recognise the familiar voice of your favourite person.

"Monks'!" You squeal, spinning around to face her.

The girl grins amusedly, "Miss me?"

"It's all we've heard since the game ended," Holly teases, her tone fond.

"I missed you as well, Buddy!" Monkey states, ruffling your hair despite your overall disagreement on it, "Did you see me out on the pitch?" She questions.

"I saw! Gan'ma helped me see!" You beam proudly, bouncing on your toes.

"Yeah, you're too short to see otherwise, eh, munchkin?" Jacob teases, before he falls into conversation with Monkey, catching up since the last time they saw each other.

"Am I just forgotten' about now, huh?" Leah jokes, entering the box freshly showered with her damp hair scraped back as Keira follows her behind, grinning.

"Mummy!" You shout, bolting straight to her and throw your small arms around her, "I miss ou'!"

Leah scoops you up, pressing a kiss to your temple, "Oh that's a nice cuddle I needed," She coos, "Thank you bubba, I missed you too."

"I watch game!" You tell her proudly.

Leah gasps playfully, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, "Did you have fun watching it?"

"Uh huh! I missed ou' though!" You admit, resting your head against her shoulder.

Leah smile softens as she kisses the top of your head again, "I missed you too, bubba, but I'm glad you had a good time."

"Mummy?" You ask, your voice dropping into a whisper, "What' da sup'ise now?"

"Oh, you didn't forget about that one, did you?" Leah chuckles, "Well how would you like it if you stayed with me, Monks' and the rest of the girls for the rest of camp?"

Your jaw drops, "Dat be so cool! I can?"

"Of course you can, bubba! I already asked Sarina, so you're going to travel back with us instead of going back to Mama's house," Leah confirms, grinning at your reaction.

"Yay! We go now?" You ask eagerly, wiggling in her arms.

"In a little bit," Leah says, laughing at your excitement, "We need to get your things out of Nana's car first."

"Mr. Bear comin' too," You insist with wide eyes.

"Of course," Leah reassures you, "I can't imagine you would want to leave him behind, would you?"

"No, he no like it," You say with a decisive shake of your head.

Monkey comes barreling over to you, grinning, "Did you tell her the surprise, Mum?"

"Monks'! I come to camp an' sleep over!" You exclaim proudly.

"I know!" Monkey says, her eyes sparkling with excitement, "We're gonna have so much fun. It's gonna be epic! We'll stay up late, swap manly stories, and in the morning... I'm making waffles!"

"I 'cited!" You nod along, excitedly.

Ben stares at Monkey, deadpan, "Did... Did you just quote Shrek?"

"Obviously, Ben," Monkey rolls her eyes dramatically.

"Oh boy, you're in for some fun there love," Berny chuckles, shaking her head in amusement.

Leah groans playfully, shaking her head, "What did I sign up for?"

Holly snorts in response, "Double trouble with them pair."

"Double trouble indeed," Keira retorts, smirking.

"Duh, what'd yer' expect with us both together?" Monkey quips, slinging her arm around Keira's shoulder, "Right, Buddy?"

"Right, Monks'!" You declare, nodding your head in agreement.

"Yeah… I think I'm going to end up regretting this by the end of the week," Leah mutters to nobody in particular.

And sure enough, the chaos that you both cause is nearly the cause of Leah having somewhat of a nervous breakdown, but that's another story for a different day, of course.

"Good job," Your favourite person murmurs distractedly, focused on the instructions.

The room feels cosy, the soft hum of New Year's preparations buzzing in the background. You're aware there's a big crowd coming over later, and you're beyond excited.

"Monks'?" You not so politely prod the older girl in the shoulder, "When everyone comin' round?" You ask, curiosity piqued.

"Not until way, way later tonight, remember? It'll be dark and the monsters will be out to get ya!" Monkey tells you with a teasing smile.

Your eyes widen in fear, "No' Monsters!" You exclaim, scrambling to your feet and leaving Monkey behind to continue building Lego on her own, "Mummy! Mummy!" You shout aloud the house without a care in the world, absolutely frightened now.

Leah and her girlfriend, Elle, are both currently in the kitchen in the middle of sorting out all the grown-up drinks ahead of the party when you run in like a deer in the headlights.

"Whoa," Elle is the first to catch you mid-run before you crash into something and hurt yourself like you've done once or twice before, "You okay, little miss?"

"I scared. Where's me, mum?" You ask frantically, your eyes darting around the room to catch sight of Leah, "Mummy! Where are ou'?"

"I'm right here, bubba," Leah chuckles, carrying a couple of funny-looking bottles in her hand as she places them both down on the kitchen countertop, before crouching down to your level and seeing your frightened expression, "Hey, what's the matter?"

"Mummy! Monks' said der' be monsters tonight at the party cos' it'll be late!" Your bottom lip trembles with worry, your eyes wide like saucers, "I don' wan see none of da' monsters!"

"What? Ignore your big sister, bubba. I think she’s just being a bit silly," Leah says, shaking her head in disagreement, reaching down to scoop you up and sit you on top of the kitchen counter, "There'll be no monsters in sight at all, alright? You're safe inside the house."

"Ou' promise?" You look sceptical, not entirely sure whether to trust Leah's word or not.

"I promise, bubba," Leah coos, gently moving a flyaway hair out of your eyes, "Monkey is just joking around like she does, alright? But there'll definitely be no monsters at the party tonight, so you have nothing to fear!" She adds, playfully poking you on the nose.

"Kay' den but ou' better mean it!" You agree, still somewhat sceptical about the answer, "I needs’ to ask ou' a question, please!"

"That's good manners, bubba," Leah praises with a soft smile, "And what might your question be then?"

"When people comin' round?" You question, impatiently, "Monks' said no till later on. Dat true?" You ask, letting out a dramatic huff, complete with flailing arms.

Leah smiles softly, nodding in agreement, "Monks' is right there, bubba. It won't be until much later on when it's dark outside, remember?"

"Why no' earlier? It be borin' when it' dark!" You exclaim, scrunching your face up in confusion, "I can' no play with me all toys if it' dark, Mummy!"

"There'll be time to play, bubba," Leah reminds you with a soft, genuine smile, "And remember? Everyone's staying late, so you'll see them lots. Are you excited about that?"

Your eyes lit up in excitement, "Uh huh! I 'cited dat I gets to see Auntie Kei as well, right?" You question, getting straight to the point.

"You do, and Holly, too. I know she's really looking forward to seeing you!" Leah grins enthusiastically, "And you know, Auntie Beth and Auntie Vivi will be coming as well, along with some of the other girls now they're back!"

"I more excited to see dem. I already see Holly at Nanas' other day," You retort, sassily with a small roll of your eyes, "She nothin' special anymore, Mummy. She don' even bring me choc'ote, she mean."

"Bubba," Leah starts, biting back laughter, "That's not very nice to say things like that now, is it? You know Holly loves you a lot, regardless if she brings you chocolate, or not."

"Yeah, but, I mean Auntie Kei better than Holly cos' she bring me cookies at least!" You declare, your mind made up on the matter.

Monkey snorts as she enters the kitchen, "Ooft, don't let Holly hear you say that, shrimp." She jokes, ruffling your hair as she passes you.

"Oi, you," Leah turns herself round to look at the teenage girl, "What's this I'm hearin' about you telling Buddy that there'll monsters tonight because it's dark?" She questions.

Monkey winces in realisation, "It was a joke, Mum... I swear."

"Yeah, well, it won't be very funny when she's waking up in the middle of the night crying though, will it?" Leah retorts, arching her eyebrow.

"No... I'm only messin' I promise," Monkey protests her innocence, holding her hands up in self-surrender, "Sorry, little Buddy. I didn't mean to really scare you, honest. Do you forgive me?" She apologises to you.

"It'fine. I 'pose' I forgive ou'!" You agree, nodding your head promptly.

Monkey grins cheekily, before proceeding to walk over to the fridge, "I'm absolutely hank Marvin'!"

"Me too!" You chime in, "I 'ank Marvin' as well, Mummy!"

"Oh, you are, huh?" Leah teases, ticking your sides until giggles bubble out of you, "I guess the three pancakes you had for breakfast didn't fill up, did they?"

"No. I still hungy!" You continue to protest, holding your stomach to emphasis.

"Oh, I'm sure you are," Leah teases, playfully rolling her eyes.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a flippin' horse!" Monkey complains, rummaging through the fridge, and pulling out a bag of grated cheese and digging in before Leah swiftly intercepts.

"Aye," Leah scolds, taking the bag away and shooting her a disapproving look, "If you're going to eat that then at least make a sandwich, eh?"

Monkey grimaces, "Yeah, but sarnies are effort."

"Well, then you're not that hungry, are you?" Leah deadpans, returning the cheese to the fridge.

"Yeah, well, it's a lot of effort," Monkey mumbles in response, slumping her shoulders, "Well, what else can I eat? You've practically written everything off for later for the party, I'm starving 'ere, you know? I'm a growing girl!" She states, dramatically.

"You literally ate breakfast less than an hour ago, I'm sure you'll cope," Leah retorts, not resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"How can you both be so hungry?" Elle chuckles, shaking her head.

"I'm a growing girl, innit?" Monkey insists.

"Yeah, I g'owing girl as well!" You parrot.

"Copycat," Monkey mutters.

You give her your best scowl, "Am not!"

"Are too!" Monkey quips.

"No I not!" You fire back, stomping your foot in protest.

"Yes you are, you're such a parrot recently..." Monkey murmurs, going back to the fridge to grab a can of Diet Coke out.

"Are they always like this?" Elle jokes, amusedly watching you and Monkey bicker back and forth.

"More often than not it seems these days," Leah retorts, chuckling and shaking her head, "Girls, that's enough, you two. Can we go one day without you two squabbling, eh?"

"Sorry, Mum..." Monkey mumbles, piercing the drink and taking a swig of it.

"I sorry. I only speakin' truth!" You feign innocence, using familiar words you've heard one too many times now.

Leah chuckles, smoothing a flyaway piece of hair out of your eyes, "Right, shall we go and find you something to wear for the party tonight?" She suggests, switching focus.

"Yeah!" You excitedly agree, eager to get down from the kitchen counter, "An Elle help as well!" You add, pointing your index finger in the direction of the woman.

"You want me to come and help you?" Elle repeats, surprised.

"Uh-huh. I need 'elp choosing!" You insist with a firm nod of your head, "Can ou' help me down, please?"

"Sure I can, little madam," Elle retorts, scooping you up off the kitchen worktop with practised ease like she's done it all before.

"Thank ou' very much!" You exclaim politely before you have the advantage to run off ahead of them, "Come on, Mummy! Come on, Elle. We needs' to pick me outfit!"

"It's very important isn't it," Leah teases, catching up with you as she shakes her head fondly, "Which dress are you going to pick out?" She wonders.

You impatiently tug open the doors of your wardrobe before spinning around and scrunching your face up in disgust, "No dress, Mummy. They yucky!"

"Oh, but how about the dress that Nana brought you?" Leah suggests, moving to grab the sparkly silver dress out of the wardrobe, "Or there's the pink one as well..."

"No, Mummy. I no wear a dress!" You state, stubbornly as you cross your arms over your chest, turning towards Elle, "Can ou' tell her that she's being ridiculous?" You insist.

"I'm being ridiculous?" Leah fauxes her hurt, clutching her hand over her chest, "Oh, where has my little baby girl gone..." She pretends to wipe a fake tear from her eye.

"It 'kay, Mummy. I still here, but I big girl now!" You tell her with a cheeky lopsided grin on your face, "I love ou'!" You add, moving to stand in front of her.

"I love you too, bubba," Leah smiles, squishing your cheeks together and kissing you on the top of your forehead, "Right then, so if you don't want to wear a dress. What do you want to wear instead?"

"Hm, I fink... Dino'daur costume!" You exclaim, spotting it out the corner of your eye hanging on a coat hook, "Dino'daur costume protect me from da monsters!"

"Your dinosaur costume, again?" Leah repeats in a silly tone of voice, "Don't you want to wear something cool for the party? You can wear anything you like! You don't need to wear anything to protect you from the Monsters, they're non-existent, remember, bubba?"

"I wear dino'daur costume just in case!" You insist, puffing out your chest with determination.

Leah grimaces slightly in disagreement, "Bubba, I think you might end up getting a little bit hot when you wear that when you're dancing, won't you, hmm? Maybe we could try a different option..."

"No, I be fine. I gon' wear dino'daur costume!" You tell her firmly, your mind made up on the decision, "I dance in dino'daur costume!"

Elle chuckles in amusement, "Well that's certainly a different option, hey?"

Leah still doesn't look entirely convinced on the matter, "Little miss, I know you want to wear your dinosaur costume, but don't you want to wear something a bit more... fancier?"

"Ou' need to understand, 'kay, Mummy?" You tell her with a certain seriousness, "Dinos' are fancy!"

Leah bit back a laugh, "Oh are they, huh? I mean, what about pretty instead?"

"Yuck! No pretty! Dino instead!" You declare.

"But... I thought you liked this one, bubba," Leah frowns, holding the dress out for you to look at.

"No, it itchy an' scratchy, an it look horrible!" You ramble off different words you have heard before, shaking your head making your decision firm.

Leah blinks, "You won't look horrible, bubba--"

"Yes, I will! I be look hideous in it! I no wear dat!" You interject, repeating the words that you hear Monkey say when she doesn't like a certain outfit she wears and looks in the mirror.

"Bubba, Nana brought you this one though, and you liked it when you saw it," Leah explains in a gentle tone of voice, "How about we give it a try?"

You shake your head in disagreement, crossing your arms over your chest, "I don' care. I wan' be a dino'daur!"

"Excuse me, little miss sass," Leah mumbles in outrage at your newfound sassiness that she's still not entirely used to.

"Ou' need to understand Mummy 'dat dino'daur better," You wiggle your index finger in front of her face and have a somewhat serious expression plastered on your own, "'Kay?"

Leah stifles her amusement with a bite of her bottom lip, "Right, whatever you say then, my stubborn little miss," She jokes, "Are you sure you don't want to try something different instead?"

"Nooo!" You exclaim loud enough to be heard through the whole house, "I be dino'daur, Mummy. Roaaaar!" You let out an almightly loud roar like one of your favourite t-rexes.

"What, are we pretendin' to be a dinosaur tonight?" Monkey teases as she sticks her head around your bedroom door, "T-Rex or Stegosaurus?"

You ponder the question for a brief second, tapping your small finger on your chin, "I be a t-rex!" You insist, "Roaaaaaar! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!"

"Scary little t-rex," Monkey jokes, pretending to look somewhat terrified, "What're you shoutin' the house down 'bout anyways?"

"I be a dino'daur for da party!" You tell her, pointing your index finger in the direction of the costume where it lay still, "Monks'! Ou' tell Mummy dat she hafta let me wear it!"

"Well, I mean, why not, eh? You can rock the dino costume!" Monkey exclaims, stepping further into the room and taking the chance to ruffle your hair, "We'll have a little dino at the party instead of a little Buddy, eh?"

"Aye, no, Monks' get off me hair!" You whine, trying to push her hands off you.

"Buddy," Leah tries again, "Maybe just for tonight, we can try something different instead, hm? What about this?" She suggests, holding up a different outfit.

"Nooo! I no' wearin' dat," You tell her, scrunching your face up in disgust, "No way I wearin' dat!"

"Geesh, three-year-olds are so sassy these days," Monkey quips, plonking herself down on the carpeted floor, "You know, she's really not going to want to wear anything other than the dumb dinosaur costume now that she has it."

"Yeah, you're not kidding there," Leah mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I clearly shot myself in the foot there, haven't I?"

Monkey pulls a silly face, flailing her hands up, "I mean, really, it's sorta your own fault for buying it for Christmas. Whatcha' think would happen?"

Leah shoots your favourite person a disapproving look, "Yeah, alright, thanks for your help, Menace," She mutters, "Bubba, look, it's really not that bad. Why don't you just try it on and see what you think?"

"No! I gon' look like a... I look like a bin bag!" You declare promptly, standing firm on your decision, "I no wearin' it an' ou' can' make me!"

Elle bites her lip to stifle her amusement.

"A bin bag?" Leah repeats, baffled, "No, you won't. I think you will look adorable."

You shake your head in disagreement, "No. I won', Mummy! An it be itchy, an' scratchy, an' I be smelly!"

"Smelly?" Monkey snorts in amusement.

"Yeah, I smell 'orrible, like da bin!" You insist.

"Personally... and I'm just saying, my own opinion and all," Monkey begins, exchanging a cheeky grin with Leah, "I think you might as well let her wear the dino costume, cos' otherwise it's gonna end in tears, innit?

"Alright, fine," Leah inwardly groans, "I give in, bubba... you can wear your dinosaur costume to the party tonight."

"Yeah, I be dino'daur!" You exclaim, practically vibrating with excitement, "An I bring all m' dino'daurs into da living room to show 'eryone!"

"Bubba, no," Leah's eyes widen at the determination in your little voice, "We're not bringing all your dinosaurs into the living room..."

You scrunch your brows together in confusion, "No, ou' listen! I gon' ave' me t-rex, an' me steg'saurus, an' me bron'saurus! I have to show all of 'em!" It's very important, that each one of your dinosaurs gets shown around to everyone at the party tonight.

"You can take a few downstairs to show, but not all of them, alright?" Leah overrules your own decision in a gentle tone of voice, "You have quite a lot now, and we don't want any of them to get broken now, do we?"

You huff in disagreement, "Well den dey should be more careful an' no' stand on 'em!"

"Wha?" Leah blinks in confusion, "Right, Bubba, that's not the point. You can maybe bring one or two downstairs, but no more than that, okay?"

"Why no more? I wan bring 'em all!" You cross your arms over your chest and stomp your foot in protest, "Ou' bein' mean no' lettin' me bring 'em all down! Ou' said I can do dat!"

Leah opens and closes her mouth, baffled by your words, "Since when?"

"Since... Since ou' said so, Mummy!" You insist, stubbornly, "I heard ou' say it! Ou' said I can!" You repeat.

"No, no, I didn't," Leah retorts, shaking her head, "I said you could take a few downstairs, but not all of them."

"But dey all 'ave to come down, or dey be lonely on their own up 'ere!" You exclaim, dramatically throwing your arms up in the air, "Ou' hafta 'ave 'em all!"

"I'm sure there will be just fine upstairs, bubba," Leah chuckles, shaking her head.

You shake your head in disagreement, "I don' think so, Mummy. Ou' might hurt der feelings!"

"Bubba..." Leah looks exasperated, all but ready to give in.

"Cos' ou' can' 'ave one, an' then no 'ave the others," You cut her words short, telling her your over-the-top explanation, "Ou' can' be like meany like dat, Mummy!"

"I'm not... I'm not being mean," Leah mumbles in disbelief.

Needless to say, the conversation ends with you bringing down a whole bucket full of different dinosaurs, and chucking them onto the rug in the living room.

"Auntie Kei!" You exclaim, spotting the woman walk through the living room with her girlfriend, Laura, beside her. " Ou' 'ere!" You don't waste time throwing your tiny arms around her legs.

"Ooh, hello little dinosaur!" Keira coos, scooping you into her arms and squeezing you tightly, "Did you have a good Christmas this year? Did you get spoilt lots and lots?"

"Uh huh, I got lots an' lots of new toys!" You tell her excitedly, flailing your arms in the air for further dramatics, "I' got a dino' costume. See?" You say, motioning to the outfit you're wearing.

"I do, wow," Keira playfully gasps, tickling your sides, "It's very roar-some!"

Leah appears with a drink in hand, "Ah, you guys are here!" She exclaims with enthusiasm, wrapping her free arm around Keira first and then Laura, "I see you met our little dinosaur of the night." She jokes.

"Hiya, Le!" Keira greets her best friend, "We did, and she looks absolutely adorable!"

"Mummy let me choose me outfit me' self!" You declare proudly.

"Yeah... I mean, I did try and sway her mind but well Buddy is very stubborn," Leah begins to explain, "Which I now realise is a trait she has picked up from either me or Jord, apparently."

"Oh, we could have told you that before," Holly chimes in on the conversation, holding another couple of drinks in her hand for Keira and Laura, "Personally, I think she takes after you more than she does Jord, especially when it comes to her stubbornness."

"What? Rude," Leah mumbles before she takes a sip of her drink, "I'm not that stubborn..." She retorts, mocking her offence.

"Sure, you tell yourself that," Keira snickers, thinking otherwise, "Where's the other troublemaker? It's quiet around here."

"Currently chatting Elle's ear off about whether she's watched Shrek or not," Leah explains with a half-amused smile, taking a sip of her drink, "I'm sure she'll be more than happy to see you both though!"

"We're here!" Beth announces, walking through the house with Viv beside her, "We're not late are we? Someone took forever to get ready."

"No, no, you're just in time," Leah grins, wrapping her free arm around Beth and Viv, "How're you both? Did you have a good Christmas?"

"It was lovely," Viv replied, smiling kindly, "How was yours? I bet the girls have been spoilt rotten again, haven't they?"

"Without a doubt," Leah flashes her a grin, "Plenty more LEGO to take up the house now, eh? Nothing that they don't deserve though."

"Auntie Beffy!" You shout in excitement, wriggling in Keira's arms to get down.

Beth gasps, reaching out to take you from Keira's arms, "Buddy!"

"Ou' 'ere!" You are ecstatic to see your two aunties again, especially since Viv is in Manchester a lot of the time now, "Put me down' please, Auntie Kei!”

"As you wish, little dino," Keira obliges and sets you back down on the floor.

"Come an' look at m' dino'daurs!" You insist, tugigng on Beth's hand.

"I will soon, let me just get a drink..." Beth chuckles, taking note of your outfit as she lifts you into her arms, "So, what's with the dinosaur costume? That's an acquired outfit, eh?"

"Let's just say I know which battles to pick, and this battle with my three-year-old, well it's just better to agree to the costume rather than the full-blown meltdown I could have ended up with," Leah explains with a shake of the head.

"Sounds like you've had a fun day then," Viv laughs in amusement.

"Just another day being a parent to a three-year-old," Leah retorts, shaking her head in asperation, "Don't even get me started on the swearing jar, either..."

"Mummy puts' lot of money in der cos' she always sayin' words she shouldn't!" You throw Leah directly under the bus, "An Mama 'ave one now as well!"

"Oh?" Keira arches her eyebrow in amusement.

"Yeah, let's not talk about that," Leah huffs in response, taking another sip of her drink in hand.

"Come on, Auntie Beffy, I wan' show 'ou m' dino'daurs!" You impatiently whine, wanting her to see all of your dinosaurs that you had thrown out, along with the rest of the toys out of your toy box, but there’s is always still room for more, "Mummy say no gettin' all me toys out but I think it fine!"

“Buddy, no more getting any more of your toys out,” Leah calls aloud, shaking her head with an aspirated sigh as she hears the unmistakable clatter of toys being thrown out onto the floor again, “I might as well just talk to myself right now– Buddy, no more, please or people are going to trip over them!”

“Mm, yummy pizza!” You exclaim enthusiastically, rubbing your stomach as you sit cross-legged on the floor, happily munching on a slice, “It good, isn’t it, Mummy?” You grin as wide as can be.

"It that nice, bubba?" Leah chuckles, using the napkin to try and dab at the pizza stains on your face, "You sit nicely here, I'm going to get another drink in the kitchen, okay?"

From the corner of the room, Monkey strolls over, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, “Hey, shrimp!” She crouches beside you, her gaze fixed on your pizza like a cat watching a mouse, “You enjoyin’ that, little dinosaur?”

“I eatin’ pizza, Monks’!” You beam proudly, completely oblivious to her intentions, “Ou’ can’ have any! It mine!”

Monkey lets out a playful gasp, clutching her chest in mock offence, “What? Not even a single bite of it? I’m starvin’ over here!”

“Nooo!” You cry, clutching your pizza slice to your chest as if it were your most prized possession, “It mine, Monks’. No’ ours'!”

Monkey chuckles, but her hand moves faster than you expect. Before you can react, she pinches the tip of your pizza slice and takes a playful bite.

“Hey!” You squeal, scowling at her as you pull the now-smaller slice away, “Da mean! Dat mine!”

“Mm, it tastes even better when it’s stolen,” Monkey murmurs, licking her fingers with exaggerated satisfaction.

You glare at her, your cheeks puffing out in frustration, “No steal, Monks’. Dat bad!”

“Aw, come on Buddy,” Monkey ruffles your hair with a cheeky grin still plastered on her face, “Sharing is caring!”

“Nooo!” You huff, your voice growing louder in protest, “Mummy!”

“What’s going on in here?” Leah’s voice cuts through the room as she steps in, one hand on her hip as she had a refill of her drink, “Why does it feel like you two are always arguing at the minute? What’s happened this time?”

“Oh, uh... hey, Mum!” Monkey says, flashing her an innocent smile, “We’re not arguing, honest. We’re bonding! Right, Buddy?”

“Mummy! Monks’ is ‘tupid!” You accuse, pointing an accusatory finger at the teenage girl.

“Whoa,” Leah frowns as she crouches down to your level, “Hey, bubba, we don’t use words like that, do we? It’s nice not,” She tells you, her tone is gentle but still holds a sense of firmness.

“But she is doh! She ate m’ pizza!” You insist, your tiny fingers still directed at Monkey like a prosecutor in court.

Leah pinches the bridge of her nose, glancing up at Monkey, “What did you do that for?”

The teenage girl shrugs, still grinning sheepishly, “In my defence… Well, I guess there is none, but the pizza tasted super good!”

“There’s plenty of pizza left, Menace,” Leah sighs, shaking her head, “You’re only upsetting her when you take her things.”

“Yeah, okay, I didn’t think that one through,” Monkey admits, scratching the back of her neck, “Sorry, Buddy. I didn’t mean to eat your pizza. Am I’ forgiven?”

“No, m’ pizza gone now!” You whine, your bottom lip quivering as you clutch the remains of your slice, “I don’ like ou' right now, Monkey!”

“I’m really sorry for eating it, shrimp,” Monkey looks incredibley guilty about eating the pizza.

Leah strokes your hair gently, “It’s okay, bubba. We can get you another slice, yeah? It’s just pizza, there’s plenty of it.”

“But it’ mine!” You protest, sniffling, “An’ she ate it!”

Monkey’s guilty expression deepens, “Hey, Buddy. I’m really sorry for stealing your pizza,” She says, crouching to your level, “Tell you what–how about I make it up to you with some… lemonade?”

“Fizzy pop?” You ask, your tears momentarily forgotten as curiosity takes over.

“Yeah…” Monkey hesitates, instantly regretting her offer but knowing she’s already said it.

“Yeah!” You exclaim, your face lightening up with excitement.

Leah blinks at Monkey, her disbelief evident, “Are you serious right now? It’s almost eight pm, Menace!” 

Monkey shrugs with a custious smile, “Hey, look how happy she is now! Win-win, right?”

“Unbelievable,” Leah mutters, shaking her head, “You can have one small cup of lemonade, bubba, but no more than that. Just this once, and we’re not telling your Mama about this either, got it?”

“Oou' got it dude!” You beam a wide smile, sticking your thumb up in the air.

It’s inching closer to midnight, but you’re nowhere near tired. You’re sitting cross-legged on the carpet in the living room, surrounded by your toys, stacking blocks and chatting with endless energy.

“Stack it’ like dat !” You insist proudly to no one in particular, balancing a red block on top.

Leah, watching from the sofa, finally stands and holds her hand out to you, “Come on bubba, time for bed."

You cross your arms stubbornly, sticking your bottom lip out in defiance, “No' bed. I stay up tonight with all da grown-ups!"

Leah crouches down to your level, tilting her head, "Oh no little miss. You definitely need to get some sleep, or you'll be super grumpy in the morning, won't you?"

"I no like dat. I be fine. I gots to stay awake!" You insist, stomping your foot for emphasis.

Leah bites back a smile, "I think it might be a bit too late for you, bubba," She says, pointing to your drooping eyelids.

"No, I stay 'wake. I wish 'erybody 'appy new year!" You tell her with determination.

"Buddy..." Leah sighs, rubbing her temples, “It's going to be very late, and I might get into trouble with Mama if I let you stay up, and she finds out, hmm?"

You shake your head, "Dat don't matter. I stay up wif everyone else!"

"Bubba," Leah begins to speak.

"We don' hafta tell her. It 'kay!" You declare confidently.

Leah shakes her head, amused but exasperated, "That's not the point, little miss..."

Keira, lounging on the sofa, chuckles at the exchange, "She's really trying to blag you there," She says, grinning.

"Oh, she definitely is," Leah replies, raising an eyebrow at your mischievous grin.

"I stay up. Deal?" You say, holding out your tiny hand like a seasoned negotiator.

Leah laughs incredulously, "... What? No deal, bubba. Little girls like you can't stay up that late, it's bedtime for a reason, New Year’s Eve or not."

You pout dramatically, "Don' be borin' Mummy. I no like ou' when ou' like dat!"

"Umm excuse me little miss, I'm not boring,” Leah places her hands on her lips, feigning offence, “I am just wanting to make sure you're going to sleep at a reasonable time.”

"Come on Le, what's the harm in letting her stay up late for just tonight? It is New Year’s Eve after all, eh?" Keira chimes in, smirking.

Leah exhales a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I don't know why I even bother," She mumbles, "Fine, but if Jord questions it then it's on you to tell her!"

“It’s fine, I can deal with that,” Keira grins as she gets up off the sofa and scoops you up into her arms, “Come on my little dino, let’s go and find the biscuits in the cupboard!”

“Not too many because it’s near to bedtime– Oh, that went in one ear and out the other. Never mind…” Leah mutters as you both disappear.

The living room hums with the warm buzz of conversation and laughter as Keira carries you into the kitchen. Setting you down on the counter, she holds you steady with one hand while rummaging through the cupboard with the other.

“Right then, little dinosaur,” Keira says, peering into the cupboard, “What biscuits do we fancy?”

“Da choc’late ones!” You exclaim, clapping your hands with glee, “Choc’late da bestest!”

Keira chuckles, pulling out a pack of chocolate biscuits and handing one to you, “Chocolate it is. But just one, alright? It’ll be our little secret, yeah?”

You nod eagerly, biting into the biscuit with a big grin, “I no tell! It our ‘ecret!”

Keira winks, popping a biscuit into her own mouth, “Exactly. Our secret.”

By the time midnight was approaching the party was in full swing. Laughter and music filled the room, and you were more determined than ever to prove Leah wrong by staying awake and joining in the celebrations.

As the countdown began, your resolve wavered and you curled up on the sofa, a party hat sat crooked on your head, and a party blower hung limply from your mouth.

“10... 9… 8…” Everyone began to count down in the room.

But you didn’t even make it to one.

The sound of fireworks outside should have been enough to keep you awake, but it was all too much for you it seems.

“I think the partying might’ve been a bit much for her after all,” Holly quips with a grin, gesturing toward your peaceful, sleeping form.

Leah chuckles softly, crossing the room to you, “Oh, bubba,” She coos, carefully tucking a blanket around you. She brushes a stray curl for your forehead, her expression warm and tender, “Happy New Year, my little dinosaur.” She added, pressing a gente kiss to the top of your head, lingering a moment for straightening up.

"Thanks, little one," Jordan smiled, reaching up to stand on her tiptoes since you had that slight advantage of tallness over her as she pressed a kiss to the top of your head, "Good luck out there, yeah? Don't go scoring on me now!"

"Pfft, as if," You waved her off, reluctant to wipe the smirk on your face, "Have you seen Buddy yet? I know she wanted to give you her present!"

"Not yet, but I'm sure I'll catch up with her after the game," Jordan replied, still smiling.

You felt a nudge on your shoulder as your eyes darted round to meet Leah's, "Are you ready, my girl? You've got this, stay sharp, yeah?"

"I always do!" You grinned back, a bit too confident for your own good.

"Don't get too cocky now. We could win," Jordan warned, her tone amused.

"We will see," Leah chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, "Good luck, and happy birthday, Jord!" She wished her ex-girlfriend belated birthday wishes.

"Yeah, don't cry when I nutmeg you!" You couldn't help but chip in cheekily, just as the familiar beat kicked in to the sound of 'London's calling' and you began to walk out, proud to the loud roar of the fans around the stadium.

This was your game, no question.

After the game, you were drenched, your body aching from the torrential rain that hadn't let up the entire 90 minutes. The only thing you wanted right now was to get changed, find warmth and collapse in bed.

But Leah had other plans, apparently.

"When you're done getting changed, I want you to come with me. I've got someone for you to meet," The blonde said, catching you in the midst of getting ready in the dressing room after the victory celebration.

You couldn't resist the groan that slipped out your mouth, "Seriously, Mum?"

"Yes," Leah replied, stifling a smile as she shook her head, "I really think you'll like her. Just hurry up and get dressed, okay?"

"Urgh," You grumbled, not in the mood for introductions at all.

You were soaked to the bone from playing in the miserable British weather for the whole match, and the last thing you wanted to do right now was to meet somebody.

That did not sit well with you.

"Why? I'm coooold!" You didn't hesitate to complain at all, you were making it very well known that you weren't in the mood to meet anybody.

Regardless of whoever they might be.

"Well you won't be that cold if you hurry up and get changed," Leah retorted, collecting all of her own things together to get ready to leave, "Come on, hurry up."

"Urgh, what's with all the fuss?" You huffed in disagreement.

You were soon to find out what all the fuss was about--Leah wanted you to meet her new girlfriend, which you had mixed feelings about.

You definitely found it weird when Leah started seeing someone new. You were briefly aware of this new girlfriend, Elle, you knew she was someone special to Leah--but you never actually met her, even during pre-season in America or that unforgettable trip to Nashville. 

You knew it was bound to happen one day, and apparently today was the infamous day to meet Elle Smith, otherwise known as Miss USA.

For as long as you can always remember since you moved in with Leah and Jordan, it had always been the two of them, and they were a team within a team, both on and off the pitch--well until Jordan ended up moving to Aston Villa, but that's a different story.

Of course you knew both Leah and Jordan would find different partners, but that didn't mean you had to like it.

You definitely did not.

"Quit looking so grumpy," Leah nudged your shoulder.

"I don't want to meet her," You complained for what felt like the hundredth time, as you waited for the lift to take you upstairs where you were about to finally meet the woman that Leah had been seeing for quite some time now, "I'm cold, I'm tired. I just want to go home and go to bed. That's it, I don't want to meet Elle."

You were really in a bad mood after the game, although you had won with a 4 nil victory, it had poured down with rain throughout the whole game and as a result, you now felt completely miserable.

You also felt pretty bad about the loss for Jordan and her team, especially since the fixture was on her birthday as well.

It was a tough loss for her, and she didn’t waste any time hanging around either.

It was definitely not a good idea for Leah to decide to introduce you to her new girlfriend now of all times while you felt so grumpy.

"Why not? I really think you might like her," Leah replied, her tone light but firm.

"Yeah, well, I don't... " You shot back, pouting, "Why do I' gotta meet her?"

Leah exhaled a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Would you stop? Look, I really like Elle, and I'm happy. So, now I just want you girls to finally meet her, okay?"

"Whatever," You muttered, but the tension was still there.

"Monkey, stop," Leah chastised, knowing there was people around, "There's people around here still." She reminded you with a knowing look, but it still didn't stop you from sulking.

"I wouldn't be complaining so much if you weren't forcing me to meet her," Your retorted, voice full of bratty annoyance.

"You make it sound like it's such a terrible thing," Leah spoke aloud, exhaling a deep sigh as her patience was wearing thin, "I really want you girls to meet Elle, I think you'll like her." She added.

"She can't replace Jordan," You muttered, still not convinced.

"I wouldn't ever dream of that happening, my girl," Leah said, her voice soft but serious, as if to reassure you.

"This lift is taking forever!" You complained as you felt like the lift was taking forever to reach the top.

Leah chuckled, shaking her head as she responded to a text on her phone, "Anything else you want to complain about today?" She teased.

"Well... Now that you mention it--" You begin to speak, caught off guard by the lift door opening and you're met with your favourite little buddy, "Buddy!" You shout, your grumpiness quickly overturned seeing the three year old.

"Monks'!" The said three year old plows into your legs, her eyes wide with excitement as she wraps both her arms around you, "Miss ou' soooo much!" She told you, dramatically.

"I missed you soooo much too!" You retorted, playfully as you ruffled her hair.

Buddy's attention didn't last long on you though as she spotted Leah, "Mummy!" Not hesitating to run over to her and launch herself on her.

"Oft, there's my little bubba!" Leah crouches down to meet her, just in time for a bear hug that leaves her grinning, "Hiya! Did you watch all of the game?"

"Uh huh! I' got 'cited when Monks' scored!" Buddy rambled, her voice full of excitement.

"You saw that? I made sure to score just for you!" You joked, grinning from ear to ear.

Buddy continued to beam a wide smile, her excitement tangible, "Ou' score good goal, Monks'!" 

"Well done today sweetheart. Very impressive!" Amanda chimed in, proud.

"I try my best," You waved off the praise with a smile, still not entirely used to it.

Leah straightened up and motioned to Elle, who stood a little further back to come a bit closer, "Right girls, come here. I'd like for you to both meet someone very important too me, okay?"

"Who are ou'?" Buddy questions, her voice full of innocent curiosity.

"Girls, this is Elle, and she's mummy's special friend," Leah carefully introduced her to you both, making sure that Buddy was able to understand her words, "Do you think you can say hi?" She asked, guiding you both forward.

"Hi. I Buddy!" Buddy of course was eager to meet her, waving enthusiastically.

"Hi there, Buddy! It's very nice to meet you," Elle crouches down to Buddy's level with a kind smile on her face, "And you must be Monkey?"

You nod faintly, shoving your hands in your trouser pockets, "Alright."

"Don't mind Monkey," Leah quickly added, "She's not very keen on meeting new people. Don't take it personally."

"I don't like you, so listen 'ere, yeah?" You started, channeling all your gangster-watching vibes  going through a current phase of watching the Kray Twins, the two famous London gangsters, "You hurt me' mum, and I know exactly where to hide bodies. So, don't even think about it, or you should learn to sleep with one eye open. Got it?"

Elle's face flickered with confusion, her eyes darting between you and Leah, unsure what to make of the threat, "Uh, right. Gotcha," She muttered, clearly thrown off by the whole interaction.

Leah rolled her eyes, quickly covering your mouth with her hand, "Ignore her, she's going through a phase right now," She told Elle, shooting you a stern look, "You be quiet, you are still scared to sleep without the light on fifty percent of the time. You're not hard at all, so zip it."

You go wide-eyed, your cheeks burn as the tough act completely falls apart.

You go to open your mouth in protest, however it doesn't turn out the way you planned, "Don't even think about it," Leah warned you with a pointed finger.

"Rooooar!" Buddy's eccentric voice was loud throughout the whole restaurant, where you'd been forced to come after the game, "Elle! Do ou' like dino'daurs?" She was eager to know, forcefully trying to shove the plastic dinosaur into Elle's own hand.

"Are you kidding? You bet I do!" Elle agreed, accepting the sticky covered dinosaur out of Buddy's grasp since the three year old attempted to dunk it directly in the chocolate sauce of her ice cream sundae, "Do you have a favourite one that you like?"

"Uh huh! I 'ove my dino'daurs!" Buddy nodded, smiling from ear to ear as she animatedly chatted to Elle all about the different dinosaurs she had, which was the best out of them, "Steg'saurus da bestest!"

Unlike Buddy, you still hadn't easily been convinced as you sat there, your arms crossed over your chest as you didn't hold back the eye roll as you watched Buddy and Elle interact with each other. Leah sat across from them, smiling fondly at the two, but you couldn't help but feel a little left out of the joy.

You weren't keen to be here at all.

You slumped in your seat, barely glancing up from your phone as you fiddled with it, pretending to not care about anything happening around you. The restaurant was bustling with energy, people talking, laughing, but you just couldn't seem to get into it.

Leah immediately clocked your reluctance to join in on the conversation, "Cheer up my girl."

"Why? I don't want to be here!" You grumbled, making it very well known about your feelings for being in the restaurant at that current moment.

Leah exhaled a sigh, sending you a knowing look, "I know you might not, but can you at least pretend like you're having fun?"

"But I'm not though..." You don't sugar-coat your words, you definitely don't want to be here, and you're not about to act like you do.

"We'll be going home in a bit," Leah told you, resisting the urge to roll her own eyes as she caught sight of you scrunching your face up in further protest,"You know, if you continue to screw your face up like that then it might stick like it if the wind changes,  eh?"

"Ha ha, very funny," You deadpan, rolling your eyes at the blondes' wittiness.

"I know it seems like a lot, but come on, Buddy's warmed up to her. Do you think you might be able to do the same for me?" Leah tries her luck, hoping that you might change your mind, or at least be somewhat nice to Elle.

You continue to scowl across the table at the American woman, "I don't like her."

"You don't know her well enough to decide that though right now," Leah explains, her tone of voice gentle as she understands this might be hard for you to grasp.

"My minds already made up," You shake your head in protest, slumping back down into your seat,"When can we go home? I'm bored."

Leah exhales a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "In a bit. Just try and cheer up a bit, please?"

"But I'm bored, like super bored here, and I can do so much more at home!" You exclaim.

"So, Monkey," Elle begins, catching your attention now Buddy's sole focus is on the sticker book in front of her, or more so, the stickers she's putting everywhere around the table and chairs, coats, bags, phone cases, you name it--if it's there in eye-sight, its' been stickered.

You couldn't resist the smirk that appeared on your face, "So, she-devil..."

"Monkey," Leah scolded, fixing you with a sharp pointed look.

"What? I think it's a cute nickname," You feigned innocence, holding your hands up in the air in mock-surrender, "I can try another, if you'd like?"

Leah narrowed her eyebrow, "Watch it."

"Alright, alright," You rolled your eyes at the blonde sat opposite you, "What's up, El-Dog?" You tried again.

"Monkey," Leah repeated, continuing to look at you with a sharp look.

You huffed in response, not holding back on another eye roll and slumping back to lean against your chair, "Oh come on, you know I like nicknames... Elle... I don't know what rhymes with it," You retorted, shrugging your shoulders.

"You're very funny," Elle chimed in.

"Thank you, I'm training to be a part time comedian," You told her in a sarcastic tone of voice, a shit-eating grin on your face, having more enjoyment in winding this woman up, "Want to hear a knock-knock joke?"

"No she's not, she's winding you up," Leah interjected before you had the chance to spout anything more, "Knock it off, Menace. I mean it."

Elle chuckled, waving her hand off as she didn't seem so phased by your reluctance to speak to her, "So, Monkey, is that like a nickname you have?"

"I don't know, Elle, is yours a nickname for something else?" You shot back, innocently.

"Monkey is one of her many nicknames," Leah chimed in, "My other favourite ones' for her are Menace and my girl, both of them very self-explanatory."

"I see," Elle nodded in agreement, taking a moment to take a sip of her drink, "Your Mum tells me that you really like Lego. That's cool."

You didn't dare bat an eye, "Yeah, so, what's it to you?"

"Monkey, enough of that," Leah chided, nudging your shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess..." You begrudgingly agreed, leaning forward and attempting to blow bubbles in your drink with the straw, "I find it cool, and it helps me calm down sometimes, and what not."

Leah gave you a faint smile and nodded, "My whole house is overrun with Lego since both the girls love it so much."

"Duh? Lego is amazing, Malfoy!" You perked up, not resisting the urge to call Leah out by a nickname, since they're one of your favourite things to give people.

Elle shared a confused look between yourself and Leah, "Malfoy? Like, uh, Harry Potter?" She questioned.

"Yep!" Your excitement suddenly reached a new level, nodding your head in agreement, ditching blowing bubbles in your drink, "Have you ever watched it? Mum definitely has a haircut like him!"

"Brilliant," Leah muttered in disbelief, shaking her head, "I think I preferred it when you were quiet instead now after all."

"I'm bored again," You complained dramatically, setting your drink down.

Leah rolled her eyes and reached into her own bag and pulled out some colouring pages and crayons, "Here. Happy now?"

Your eyes lit up despite yourself, “Colouring? Yes!” Grabbing the crayons, you started to scribble, regardless of the fact of your age, you were at least somewhat occupied for the time being.

“See?” Leah said, laughing softly, “I told you she’s harmless. She’s just a big kid, it’s unreal.”

“I’m not a big kid…” You felt a heat rise in your cheeks, not liking being called out like that, but you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at the corners of your lips. 

“Keep telling yourself that,” Leah teased, ruffling your hair. 

“Accusations. False accusations!” You grumbled underneath your breath, however, you grabbed a crayon and continued to scribble on the page. You weren’t fully ready to warm up to Elle, but slowly started to let the walls come down.

Buddy's little face scrunched up in concentration as she started to tug at Leah's hand, "Mummy! I... I need toilet!" She exclaimed,  the urgency in her voice leaving no room for hesitation.

Leah didn't even flinch at the sudden demand, "Come on then, bubba. We'd better go find it quickly," She said, getting to her feet, quick and straight to the point, "You play nice, alright?"

You rolled your eyes at the interaction, turning your attention to your phone, "Pfft, oh please... I always play nice!" You muttered to yourself, though your eyes were glued to the screen instead of the woman in the room.

Elle, sensing the lull in the conversation, turned to you with a curious smile, "So, Monkey, what is that you like to do?"

You didn't immediately respond, not feeling particularly inclined to talk to her. But then, an idea flashed in your mind that could be so much better than small talk.

This might just be your chance to get someone else on board for the ultimate adventure--skydiving!

"Oh, I have hobbies!" You said with an enthusiastic grin, "Yeah, I'm so adventurous and that. Like skydiving and all the different things like that!"

Elle raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but cautious, "Skydiving, huh? That sounds kind of dangerous. Are you allowed to do things like that, with you being a professional footballer?"

"Oh, yeah, totally!" You waved your hand dismissively, like it was the least of your worries, "Do you want to go? We could go together, and it could be so fun!"

"Uh..." Elle hesitated for a second, but then to your surprise, shrugged, "Sure, that does sound like fun!"

You were now all but practically bouncing in your seat, a grin spreading across your face, "Awesome! So, uh, where is it that you live in America?" You decided it was probably best to try and ask some questions to at least seem interested, at least you hoped it was America where she lived.

Elle seemed to enjoy the change in pace as she answered, "Oh, I live in New York. Have you ever been?"

"Nope, never, but it sounds, like so sick!" You exclaimed, "They have that big tree there at Christmas as well, innit?"

"Yeah, it's really quite cool to look at," Elle replied, smiling at your enthusiasm.

"And do they have that ice rink as well?" You pressed, already seeing the path ahead.

"Oh yeah, they do..." Elle continued to nod in agreement, "Do you like to ice skate?"

"Sure, totally," You agree with a simple shrug of your shoulders, "So, do they have sky divng as well?"

Elle's eyes widened slightly, "Yeah, I think they have something like somewhere you can do it inside!"

Bingo, it was almost too convincing now!

"Really? Oh sick! We have to do it!" Your mind was completely made up now on the idea of going there for that one reason in particular, your eyes lighting up as you spotted Leah and Buddy return from their toilet trip, "Mum! I wanna go to New York-- Mum! Mum! Can we... Can we go?"

"Whoa, slow down," Leah gave you an incredulous look, "Go where?" She asked, confused.

"New York!" You repeated, practically vibrating with excitement, "It sounds neat, don't it? We have to go!" You said with urgency.

Leah raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed in a casual but knowing stance, "Whoa, whoa, slow down a second. What am I missin'? You've changed your tune all of a sudden, haven't you?"

"We neeeeed to go. Pleaaaaase!" You almost whined, shifting from foot to foot, your excitement contagious.

"We will see, Menace, alright? I'm sure we can try and figure it out," Leah said, though her tone held an edge of amusement, clearly having no clue where this was truly heading.

"Yeeeees! Get in!" You cheered, punching your air in victory, "Cool! Oh yeah-- Elle, I got a question for you, and it's super important." You continued to quiz her without missing a single beat, "Depending on how you answer this, all but depends on if we can even be considered mutuals..."

Elle raised an eyebrow, "Sure, hit me with it!"

"Alright," You leaned in slightly, "Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza?" You questioned, deadpan.

"It's good," Elle answered simply.

You let out a loud whoop of excitement, causing Leah to give you a side-eye, "Right? Niiiiice! Okay, I think I changed my mind, I can begin to like you. Our sky diving trip is going to be amazing!"

And that's where you slipped up...

"Whoa, I'm sorry. Backup there... Skydiving?" Leah chimed in, holding her hand in protest, giving you a firm look, "Monkey! We've already talked about this!"

You winced in protest, "Damn it, so close..."

Leah folded her arms, trying her hardest to remain composed, "You know that skydiving is completely out of the question, and it's not happening!"

You groaned dramatically, clearly not willing to accept the defeat just yet, "You're such a buzzkill sometimes, Mum!"

"I only agreed because I thought you were completely okay with it, I swear," Elle said, her tone almost apologetic.

Leah let out a soft sigh, her arms folding across her chest, "It's fine. Monkey knows she's not allowed to do it, and it's not your fault, babe," Her voice was calm but firm, offering a reassuring smile to Elle, “Nice try, Menace. No skydiving, and that’s final!”

“How much longer do we hafta be here?” You groaned.

Christmas had always been complicated for you. Sure it was supposed to be festive and filled with magical memories, and joyous fun. However, for you? It’d always been the opposite when you lived with Mark.

Even after years of living with Leah and Jordan, your brain still dragged you back to those Christmas mornings with Mark—a cold, grey morning in a mold infested house, with a numerous amount of beer cans strewn around and the stale stench of cigarettes lingering in the air.

Christmas wasn’t full of warmth, or even laughter. It was just disappointment wrapped up in cheap wrapping paper that never really fit—on the rare occasion that you actually got a present. 

Most of the time, Mark tended to miraculously forget… and you wouldn’t dare bring it up.