a long way back | far from home
summary: the aftermath of monkey's loan move to bayern munich.
word count: 10456 words.
far from home masterlist
“Nervous flyer?” The man next to you wondered, locking his phone and putting it face down in his lap, “I’m the same sometimes. I have my lucky socks on for that reason.”
“Yeah, just a bit….” You admitted, grabbing the armrest in a vicelike grip to keep you reassured.
“You’ll be ‘right,” The man offered comfort, “It helps to keep your eyes closed when the plane takes off.”
The hum of the engine rumbled low beneath your feet, while the seatbelt dug lightly into your shoulder as you stared out of the tiny oval window—several people were still boarding the flight as the flight attendants were helping passengers with their items.
At that very moment, you were doing your very best to not think about Leah’s face coming home to an empty house, or Buddy’s devastation when she realised that you weren’t home… and not to mention that you broke your promise to her.
You were free, technically. This is exactly what you wanted.
But why did you feel so terrible about it?
“Right,” You agreed, forcing a thin smile, “You wouldn’t think I’d be so nervous with the amount of times that I’ve flown.”
The man raised an eyebrow, “Oh, you’re a frequent flyer?”
“Uh… sort of. I’m a footballer, so it’s part of my life,” You explained with a sheepish smile.
“Wow! Oh—I thought I recognised you!” The man’s eyes lit up in realisation, “Knew I recognised you! Maeve, right? You're the young ‘un that plays for Arsenal!”
You grimaced at the mention of your real name, “Yeah… that’s me.”
The man stared, bewildered, “Fancied a small getaway before the season started?”
“Kind of,” You lied, your knee bouncing anxiously, “It’s… something like that.”
“Right, ‘course,” The man offered you a sympathetic smile, “Got to admit, I didn’t expect to see you on a regular flight like this.”
“It’s just, uh…” You tried to find the correct words to explain it all, “It’s personal stuff, you know?”
“Ah, say no more,” He said softly, “Just… is everything alright? I mean, I don’t mean to pry but… you look a bit distressed.”
“It’s complicated,” You murmured, exhaling a sigh, “I’m heading to Bayern Munich… on a loan period.”
The man’s eyes shot up in surprise, “You’ve left Arsenal?”
“Not permanently,” You said quickly, “North London will always be my home… I just need a break of some sort.”
“Well… that’s a bold decision to make,” The man murmured, shocked, “Something big must’ve happened to decide that, huh?”
“Yeah, you’re telling me,” You remarked quietly, biting your bottom lip, "And well… kind of, you could say that. It’s just… more complicated than people think.”
“Right, shoes off when we get inside the house, bubba,” Leah instructed quietly, unlocking the front door, “And remember to be quiet as well please, yeah? I think your sister might be asleep.”
“Kay, Mummy!” Your little sister listened wisely, walking through the door before immediately getting stuck halfway through removing her trainers, “Mummy! I need ‘elp with m’ shoes!”
“Hang on a second, bubba,” Leah said gently, resting Rugrat’s carseat on the floor as she nudged the door shut with her foot, “I’ve only got one pair of hands, darling.”
“Mummy ‘elp,” Buddy repeated, dramatically.
Leah laughed faintly, “Patience, sweetheart.”
“Mama say I no patient,” Buddy pouted adorably, sitting down on the bottom step of the stairs.
“Oh, is that right? I think that Mama might be onto something there, hmm?” Leah questioned in a teasing voice, crouching to your little sister's level, “Alright, let’s see about getting these trainers off.”
Buddy patiently waited for Leah to undo the velcro on her trainers, “Mummy! Can I show Monks’ my new shoes dat Nana brought me for big school?”
“Of course you can,” Leah murmured, helping Buddy take off her trainers, “But if she’s still asleep then leave her be, alright? She wasn't feeling very well earlier.”
“Uh huh!” Buddy nodded seriously, scrambling up on her feet and straightaway forgetting about the whole idea of being quiet, “Monks’!”
“Buddy, hey, inside voice, remember,” Leah called after her, unfastening Rugrat out of her carseat.
“Monks’! ‘Ook at m’ shoes Nana got me for big school!” Your little sister ran into the living room, excited but scrunched her face up in confusion when she failed to see you in the living room, “Monks’?”
Buddy didn’t waste time running back to Leah in the hallway, “Mummy! Monks’ not ‘ere!”
“Oh, I think she’s probably upstairs then,” Leah mumbled, half distracted while trying to attempt to take Rugrat’s tiny cardigan off her.
“I go and look for ‘er!” Buddy announced, carefully climbing up the stairs with her shoes clutched to her chest, pushing open your bedroom door, “Monks’?”
Your bedroom looked messy—your room has always been messy but this was different.
“Monks’?” Buddy tried again, her voice wobbling now as she took in the sheer messiness of your bedroom, “Where ‘ou hidin’?”
Nothing but complete silence.
Your little sister’s bottom lip trembled, “Monks’?” She questioned, quieter this time.
Buddy ran back downstairs, straight into the kitchen where Leah stood searching in the fridge for something while Rugrat sat propped in her baby floor seat on the counter, happily gnawing on her teething ring.
“Mummy!” Buddy’s voice was panicked.
Leah turned, “Did you find her, bubba?”
“Monks’ no ‘ere,” Buddy mumbled, shaking her head as her bottom lip jutted out, “Can’ find ‘er!”
Leah’s stomach filled with absolute dread, “... She’s not upstairs?”
“Nuh uh!” Buddy sniffed, “Where she gon’?”
“I don’t know, darling,” Leah swallowed, attempting to steady her voice to not alarm your little sister, “How about we go and look together, yeah?”
Lifting Rugrat onto her hip, Leah brushed Buddy’s cheek gently when she saw the tears threatening to spill, “It’s okay, come on, bubba. Show me.”
Buddy clung to Leah’s jeans as they walked into the living room together, “See, Mummy! No Monks’ in ‘ere!”
Leah’s heart sank.
The sofa was empty, the blanket remaining crumpled where you had left it and Leah’s discarded hoodie that you had stolen was no longer there.
“... Monkey?” She called out loud gently, almost in hope this was you trying to play a practical joke on her and hiding behind the sofa—even if that wasn’t logically possible since the sofa was shoved up against the wall, “Sweetheart, if you’re trying to scare me then you’re a bit early. Halloween isn’t for another few months yet.”
There was a concerning silence in the living room, nothing compared to the usual chaos that followed you.
Rugrat made a tiny fussing noise, wriggling against her as Buddy tugged harder on Leah’s jeans.
“She not ‘ere, Mummy. I told ‘ou,” Buddy insisted, her voice turning desperate, “Where she gon’? I wan’ show ‘er my shoes!”
Leah’s throat tightened, “Alright, okay… how about we check upstairs together, yeah?” She crouched instinctively, pulling Buddy into her side, “It’s okay, we’ll find her. I reckon your big sister is just hiding.”
She certainly didn’t believe her own words.
“I lead the way!” Buddy declared.
Leah followed her back upstairs, dread seeping inside of her with every step. She pushed the door open with her foot, “Monkey?” She called out in concern, “Sweetheart, are you in here?”
“Monks’! Where are ‘ou?” Buddy parroted.
“Monkey? Where are you, my girl?,” Leah urged, her voice tense as the panic rose inside, “Come out now, come on… this isn’t funny anymore.”
Leah couldn’t deny your room looked like you were attempting to flee the scene—your wardrobe was open and empty, along with your bedside table drawers.
Your bed was messy, almost like you had rushed to abandon it.
“Shit,” Leah immediately thought to herself, eyes wide in panic.
“Mummy!” Buddy tugged on Leah’s trousers, “Where’s Monks’? ‘Er room is all messy!”
“I… I don’t know, bubba,” Leah swallowed the lump in her throat, kneeling to your little sister’s level, “Hey, listen, bubba… why don’t you go into your room for a second and play, yeah? Mummy needs to check a few things and make some calls.”
“Kay! ‘Ou find Monks’?” Buddy remained hopeful at the idea of you just trying to hide in the house, “Monks’ win at hide n seek!”
Leah smiled weakly, brushing her hand through Buddy’s hair, “Yeah, she does. Doesn’t she?”
Buddy ran out of your bedroom and into her own.
Leah lay Rugrat down on your bed, making sure there was an obstacle blocking any attempt of her rolling off the bed before she ducked under it to check—your suitcase was gone, along with your backpack.
“Oh no,” Leah mumbled, panicked, “No, no, no…”
Leah didn’t waste time reaching for her phone out of her trouser pocket, her thumb hovering over your name and dialing your number, “Come on, pick up… pick up…”
It went straight to voicemail.
Leah’s stomach dropped in sheer worry, leaving a message on your voicemail, “Please answer the phone, my girl. I’m not upset, I just… I want to know where you are,” She stated, concerned.
She tried again.
Once. Twice. Three times.
Each call was left unanswered.
“Urgh!” Leah groaned, hearing the robotic voice of the woman reaching voicemail once again, “Sweetheart, please… I promise I’m not angry or even upset, I just need to know where you are—everything in your room is gone, and I just… please call me Monkey. Whatever has happened, we can fix it. Please, just… let me know you’re safe,” Leah rambled, leaving another message.
There was no hesitation to call Jordan.
“Jord?” Leah rushed the second the line connected, “I… I don’t know where Monkey is. Her room is empty and… everything’s gone. She’s not answering her phone—I thought she was just hiding but I’ve checked the entire house and she’s not here, I don’t know what to do!”
“Le, slow down,” Jordan said calmly, “I can’t make sense of what you’re saying—tell me that again, but slower this time.”
“Monkey’s gone,” Leah cried, shifting Rugrat onto her lap as she balanced the phone against her ear, “I… I don’t know where she is.”
“What do you mean gone?” Jordan asked, confused, “Gone where?”
“If I knew that I wouldn’t be phoning you!” Leah snapped, panic spilling over, “I came home from picking the girls up from my mums’ and everything in her room is gone, Jord!”
“Alright, easy, calm down. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this,” Jordan remained calm despite the situation, “Are you sure this isn’t her attempt to run away to Kim’s again?” She tried to make a joke out of it.
“No, Jordan!” Leah shot back just as quick, “This isn’t like the time she tried to run away when she was fifteen, Jord. This is… different—she’s… she’s not even taken Mini.”
Jordan gasped on the other end of the line, “What? She hasn’t taken Mini?”
“Seriously?” Leah questioned sharply, “That’s what worries you most?! Not the fact that I told you our daughter is missing!”
“No, no. I just… you know, she takes Mini everywhere with her,” Jordan mumbled, bewildered, “Hold on, I’m coming over!”
“Don’t you have packing to do?” Leah asked, regarding Jordan’s impending transfer to Newcastle.
“That can wait,” Jordan replied firmly, “Finding our daughter is more important, Le.”
Leah dragged her hand through her hair, “God, Jord… where the hell is she?” Her voice cracked, unable to shake the feeling of dread, “This is… unlike her to do anything like this!”
“I don’t know Le, I don’t…” Jordan murmured softly, “But we’ll get to the bottom of it. We’ll figure it out.”
By the time that the plane had touched down in Munich, your phone still remained on flight mode and you were blissfully ignorant of the cascade of missed calls waiting for you from back home.
Stepping out into the terminal, the air hit differently—it was sharper, almost a kind of sterile smell that faintly lingered.
It felt somewhat colder than London.
“What is the purpose of your trip?” The man at passport control questioned, glancing at your passport with a detached precision.
“Oh, uh… I’m here for football,” You muttered, twisting your fingers nervously, “I’ve signed on a loan period at Bayern Munich.”
The man barely acknowledged you, giving a curt nod and stamping your passport with clinical efficiency before sliding it back across the counter.
“Uh… do I go through there?” You asked, pointing at the glass door while you furrowed your brows.
“Through there,” The man nodded towards the door, clearly growing impatient with your company.
“Er, thanks…” You mumbled, following through with the instructions.
You suddenly froze for a split second, almost expecting someone to turn around and tell you that you weren’t allowed in but the call never came.
“Miss, please… this way,” The man said, gesturing towards the glass door with an impatient, bored expression.
Based on your first impression, the airport was vastly large and crowded, it seemed unfriendly—everything felt too clean, quiet and precise.
There wasn’t any frantic shouting or chaotic announcements. It was a stark comparison to London.
It was just clipped German being spoken over tannoys and the soft whir of suitcase wheels gliding over polished floors.
“Well… where the heck do I go now?” You muttered to yourself, shoulders tense as your fingers clung to the straps of your backpack.
Looking around, you realised you barely understood a single word of what was being said. The panic flared inside of you for a brief moment, “Shit,” You swore out loud, almost expecting someone to call you on it.
But that didn’t happen.
Right, you were alone—in another country.
For the first time in the last few hours you stood there and seriously wondered what the hell possessed you to think moving to another country on loan was such a good idea.
And then it clicked. You just needed to look at the signs, pictures and arrows.
“You idiot, Monkey. Just look at the pictures,” You whispered under your breath, letting your eyes dart from sign to sign, “Look for the… a-ha! Bingo!” You spotted a familiar baggage claim icon pointing in a certain direction.
You’re grateful that at least your suitcase was remotely easy to find, black and scuffed—from your summer in July in Switzerland—ugh, those damn Swiss hills.
You hauled it off the belt, feeling your arm protest at the weight, “Holy fu—ugh! I swear it wasn’t this heavy when I packed it…”
“Now all I’ve gotta do is find the driver they’ve sent,” You muttered under your breath, wheeling your suitcase through the airport’s polished floor “... Should be simple enough, right?”
A mixture of relief and anxiety flooded you when you spotted a man near the exit, holding a small sign with your name scrawled neatly across it.
Because this all felt too easy.
“Hi, uh… I’m Maeve Williamson-Nobbs,” You muttered, grimacing at the sound of your proper first name—you wish you could’ve changed it when given the chance, but you decided against it for some unknown reason.
“Ah, Miss Williamson-Nobbs!” The man looked up, offering a polite but guarded smile, “Welcome to Munich. I am Felix. Your driver is waiting outside— just follow me, please.”
You nodded, attempting to try and keep your posture casual even if your stomach had tied itself in knots. You wheeled your suitcase behind him, noticing the efficient German precision in every step—the way he moved, the way people flowed past you on either side and the complete lack of idle chatter.
Munich certainly wasn’t anything like London, nothing here was chaotic or forgiving.
“Er, okay thanks,” You said again, her voice sounding a little too small.
Felix gave a quick nod but said nothing more, continuing to walk with urgency.
Outside the airport, the sun hit differently as well—it felt sharper and bright, reflecting off the sleek cars that were lined up against the curb.
“Here we are,” Felix murmured, stoic as ever, like he would rather be doing anything than this.
Your driver, a middle aged man in a dark suit, waiting beside a black van with the engine humming idly. You approached slowly, suitcase in tow and the familiar jolt of anxiety spiking in your chest.
“Good evening, Miss Williamson-Nobbs,” The driver greeted curtly, opening the back door for you.
“Thank you,” You muttered quietly and slid inside the spacious black van.
As the doors clicked shut behind you, you finally let your shoulders drop a fraction though your chest still felt tight and for the first time since leaving London, you were officially on your own, barrelling towards a city that you barely knew with no familiar faces in sight.
The hum of the van and the soft German chatter from Felix in the front seat became your new soundtrack, Munich’s streets blurred past the tinted windows, perfectly clean and eerily quiet and for the first time in hours, you allowed a thought to creep into your head, “What have I gotten myself into?” You let the guilt bubbling up inside of you.
It only was made worse when you eventually turned your phone back on to realise you had several texts and missed calls.
“Le?!” Jordan burst through the front door, “Le? I’m here! I came as quickly as I could—I left Erin to figure out what to cook for dinner but—”
“Mama!” Buddy cried, running straight into her arms and clinging tightly to her, “Mama! Monks’ gon’!”
Jordan’s heart sank as she crouched instinctively, scooping Buddy up into her arms, “Hey, hey, I know puddin’. Me and Mummy are going to figure it out, alright?” She tried to reassure your little sister the best she could.
“Oh thank god you’re here,” Leah breathed a sigh of relief, appearing in the doorway of the living room with Rugrat balanced on her hip, “Jord, I’m going out of my mind with worry!”
“I’m here now, it’s going to be fine,” Jordan murmured, shifting Buddy onto her hip, “Come on, let’s go into the living room and talk. Tell me what’s happened… fill me in right from the beginning.”
“I… I can’t get through to her, Jord,” Leah said, her words tumbling over each other, “I’ve tried to call her, text her and I keep getting put through to her damn, bloody voicemail—I’ve left countless messages and… nothing whatsoever!”
Jordan lowered herself onto the sofa, “Right, okay. She… cant have gone far, can she? Have you tried to ring any of her mates? They might know where she is.”
“I already tried that one,” Leah snapped before she immediately softened, “I’m sorry, I didn’t… I shouldn’t snap. I’m just so worried about her. Nobody is answering my calls—I even tried to phone my brother in case he knew anything but that wasn't any luck either. This is completely unlike her.”
“Shit,” Jordan muttered, dragging her hand through her hair, “That’s… that’s not good. Okay, alright, breathe. We don’t panic yet—we just work with what we know.”
Leah scoffed, pacing the length of the living room, “What we know is that she’s gone, Jord.”
“We know she left the house,” Jordan corrected gently, “That’s not the same thing.”
“Seriously? Why else would I be calling you in a panic, Jord!” Leah snapped, then immediately winced in regret, “Sorry… I—sorry.”
Jordan held her hands up, “It’s alright, Le. I know you’re worried, I am too. I’m trying to piece together the information. You said everything has been taken from her room?”
“Yep, suitcase… backpack, her wardrobe is virtually empty,” Leah muttered quietly.
“And you said she left Mini?” Jordan questioned, furrowing her brows.
“Yes, she left Mini! What does that matter?” Leah grumbled.
“It’s just… unusual,” Jordan mumbled quietly, “I can’t get past that.”
“Monks’ hafta come back,” Buddy’s bottom lip trembled.
Jordan instinctively reached forward, tucking a stray hair of Buddy’s behind her ear, “I know puddin’ but we’re going to find her, okay? We’ll get her back.”
“Will we? We don’t have a clue where she’s gone,” Leah expressed her worry as Rugrat started to fuss in her arms, instinctively bouncing the baby in her arms, “It’s okay, Pos. It’s okay. Mummy’s just a little worried right now.”
“Right… right, alright so no friends or family… nobody knows,” Jordan muttered to herself, trying to rack her brain, “Have you tried checking her banking history? I mean, you still have access to that, don't you?”
“I did that already,” Leah exhaled shakily, “There’s nothing there, no trace of anything—it’s like she’s just completely vanished into thin air.”
“Shit, shit, shit,” Jordan swore aloud, “Okay, this is… this is bad then.”
“Mama ‘ou swore,” Buddy immediately clocked it.
“Sometimes Mama does that to express her emotions just… don’t repeat it, okay?” Jordan told her gently.
Buddy stuck her thumb up, nodding solemnly, “Ou’ got it, dude!”
Jordan’s phone buzzed causing her to jump faintly.
Leah stopped pacing the floor and turned to look at Jordan, “Is that Monkey?”
Glancing down at her phone, hope drained from Jordan’s face, “No… it’s just Erin asking if we’d heard anything yet.”
“Oh,” Leah’s shoulders slumped.
“Le, come and sit down. You’re not doing yourself any favors by pacing the carpet other than wearing a hole in the carpet,” Jordan murmured, concerningly as she watched Leah go back and forth, “Come on, we can figure this out together.”
Leah exhaled a sigh, moving to sit on the sofa beside Jordan, “I just want to know where our girl has gone, Jord.”
“I know,” Jordan replied, barely audible, “I want that too. It fills me with dread not knowing where she is.”
“I miss Monks’,” Buddy whimpered, resting her head on Leah’s shoulder.
“I know, bubba,” Leah murmured, instinctively pressing a gentle kiss on your little sister’s forehead, “I know you do. I miss her too.”
Suddenly, the front door burst open.
“Leah?” The familiar voice of Amanda rang out from the hallway.
Buddy lifted her head briefly, “Nana’s ‘ere!”
Amanda swept into the living room, coat on with her keys clenched in her hand while Jacob followed close behind, “Have you heard anything from her yet?” The women asked, concerned.
Leah’s face crumpled, “Mum…”
“Oh bubba,” Amanda softened her expression, leaning over and wrapping the blonde in her tight embrace, “It’s okay, we’ll find her. We’ll bring her home.”
“Hey, there’s my favourite munchkin,” Jacob crouched to Buddy’s level, opening his arms wide instinctively.
“Uncle J,” Buddy whined, leaning into his embrace, “Monks’ ‘ave gon’ somewhere.”
“I know, it’s gonna be okay,” Jacob tried to reassure her the best he could, “So… this isn’t like Monkey to just disappear on a whim.”
“No, it’s not,” Jordan answered, her brows knitted together.
“Did something happen before that caused her to leave?” Jacob questioned in confusion, “What about hearing from any of her friends?”
“No, I’m just getting radio silence…” Leah mumbled quietly as Rugrat continued to fuss in her arms.
“Right, pass me the baby, she’s not going to settle if she senses you're both worked up,” Amanda reached out for Rugrat, “Hi precious girl.”
“Leah?” Kim was the next to come barrelling through the front door, “I came as soon as I heard—oh hiya, Jord.”
“Hiya, Kim,” Jordan greeted quietly.
“She’s missing, Kim…” Leah said, saying it out loud made it feel heavier—real.
“Here I thought she was at yours again,” Jordan attempted to joke, badly, “Sorry… wrong time to joke, I know.”
”Sorry, traffic was a nightmare,” Keira mumbled, freezing when she clocked Leah’s distraught facial expression, “Oh… you’re both here, so… this is bad, isn’t it?”
Leah went to respond, only to be cut off by Katie rushing in, “What’s going on? Jord phoned me and told me to come here and I rushed here—no seriously, think I drove through a red light.”
“Monks’ gon’...” Buddy’s bottom lip wobbled, resting her head on Jacob’s shoulder.
“Gone?” Keira repeated, confused.
“What do yer mean she’s gone?” Katie added, raising her eyebrow.
“Gon’ bye bye,” Buddy mumbled sadly, wriggling to be put down again.
Kim furrowed her eyebrows, “Have you tried to contact Alessia, Kyra, Vic or Codi? They were with her last night—if she was planning to go somewhere, she’d have told them, surely?” She put the idea out there.
“I would ask them if I could get through to any of them,” Leah replied bitterly.
“Right, I’ll start calling around. They’ll answer the phone to me… or at least they better do,” Kim muttered, exhaling a sigh as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.
“I miss Monks’ Mummy,” Buddy cried, running straight to Leah and clinging onto her.
“I know, bubba. I miss her too…” Leah murmured, pulling her into a hug while simultaneously trying to think of every possible situation racing through her mind, each one seeming worse than the last.
“Kyra, stop dodging my calls and pick up the phone. This is an emergency situation!” Kim spoke aloud, pacing the floor as she left the Australian girl another voicemail.
“Did anything happen to cause her to suddenly… vanish?” Keira wondered, curiously.
“No, nothing,” Leah said, confused, “I picked her up from Alessia’s house after she spent the night there. We chatted on the way back home like normal—she seemed off but she said she just felt sick. I was telling her about an upcoming music concert, she seemed… quite excited about that…”
“Little lady wouldn’t just disappear for no reason,” Katie chimed in.
“No shit,” Keira muttered, exhaling a sigh.
“‘Ou said a bad word!” Buddy called her out straight away.
“Sorry, munchkin…” Keira mumbled sheepishly.
“I want Monks’.” Buddy's bottom lip wobbled.
“I know you do, bubba. I know you do,” Leah murmured, doing her best to try and remain calm despite the situation.
“... Should we call the police? File a missing person’s case,” Jacob put the suggestion out there.
Katie shook her head in disagreement, “I don’t think they’ll do anything until it’s been seventy two hours.”
“What good is that?” Leah grumbled, running her hand through her hair, “I just want my daughter to be found—at the minute, I don’t know that’s she’s even somewhere safe at this point!”
“Stuff it,” Katie stood up, reaching for her keys in her pocket, “I’m gonna drive around the area and see if I can spot her. I’ll text yer if I find her.”
Kim stepped a few paces away, her phone pressed to her ear, “Come on… answer your phone—Vic! What’s the point in having a phone if you’re not going to answer it?”
Amanda glanced in the Scottish women’s direction, “Anything yet?”
“Nothing,” Kim muttered, trying again with dialing Alessia’s number.
Katie went to leave as Jordan’s phone buzzed again.
Everyone froze. The room stopped still.
Leah’s head snapped up, “Is that her?”
Jordan looked down and went completely still.
“... Jordan?” Leah prompted.
Jordan didn’t answer straight away, her thumb hovering over the screen as her face drained of colour, “Oh no…” She finally whispered.
Leah was on her feet in an instant, “What? Jord! What’s the matter—did she text you?”
“Um, I think you best ought to see this,” Jordan mumbled slowly, “But remember… just remain calm, okay? Don’t… don’t go flying off the handle like you normally would given the circumstances—”
“Just show me what it is, Jord!” Leah snapped, impatiently.
Jordan exhaled a shaky breath, “Alright… here goes,” She mumbled, turning her slowly turning her phone around so Leah could see it, “Just remember to…”
“Breathe, I know! I got it!” Leah huffed, plucking Jordan’s phone out of her hands to see what the news was for herself, “What the…”
“Language! Little ears are present!” Amanda chimed in, shooting Leah a knowing look.
The headline was there in bold letters, completely unmissable.
Bayern Munich confirm loan signing of young attacking midfielder Maeve Williamson-Nobbs.
For a moment, the silence stretched.
It wasn’t calming at all, it was the kind that rang in your ears and made the room feel entirely too small to even breathe in.
Leah stared at the screen, almost like it might change if she blinked hard enough.
It didn’t.
It was right there in bold, black letters along with a photo of you, turned away from the camera taken at the stadium.
“Bayern?” Katie scoffed, she was the first to break the silence. reading the news article from her own phone, “What… Why has she gone there?”
Jacob’s mouth opened and then closed, he shook his head once, “No, no, no… that can’t be right—she would’ve told you both…. right?”
“Please tell me this is some weird kind of hoax,” Katie mumbled, refusing to believe you had left to move to Bayern on loan.
“I don’t know,” Jordan replied quietly in disbelief.
Kim leaned closer, her eyes scanning the headline and the attached photo, “That’s official, there’s no doubt about it.”
“Wait, wait, hold on a second… she’s in another country?” Keira paled at the realisation.
“Apparently,” Jordan muttered, swallowing the lump forming in her throat.
Leah had yet to speak.
“Le? Say something,” Jordan prompted gently, “You’re quiet, this is… this isn’t like you.”
“She… She didn’t disappear,” Leah finally spoke up, “She left. She packed up her life in a suitcase and left… and let us think she was gone this whole time—why… why would she do that?”
Jordan sat beside her, stunned and on instinct, wrapped one arm around Leah’s shoulders, “It’s okay, I’m sure there was a perfectly good reason for it.”
“Was there?” Keira questioned, concerned.
“Keira has a point, yer don’t ghost yer family,” Katie pointed out, exhaling a sigh, “Little madam… she’s got yer two worried to death while she’s swanning about in Munich.”
“Monks’ no lost?” Buddy asked, confused.
“No bubba, she’s not lost—oh… Monkey, my girl…” Leah whispered, her heart sinking as she read the brief news article, “Why?”
“But she will be in a lot of trouble,” Amanda chimed in.
“Mum—” Leah began.
“No, don’t you ‘Mum’ me,” Amanda cut her off swiftly, “She went silent on you both. You two were worried out of your minds. I’m glad she’s safe, but don’t think for a second that you can let her get away with this.”
“She might’ve had a good reason for it though,” Jordan mumbled quietly.
Amanda clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disagreement, “Just wait until I see my granddaughter, me and her will be having very firm words about scaring you both like that.”
“Yer Ma has a point there,” Katie added, slumping down on the sofa, “Yer were five minutes away from calling every hospital in London to check she hadn’t turned up there.”
Keira furrowed her brows, “But why Bayern of all clubs?”
“Why Bayern indeed,” Kim muttered, tight lipped.
“Did we… Did we do something wrong?” Jordan wondered, confused.
“I feel like we’ve failed her,” Leah admitted, dragging her hand through her hair.
“Neither of you have done anything wrong, bubba,” Amanda explained, gently rocking Rugrat in her arms to keep her from fussing, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.”
“I don’t think she would do this to purposely hurt either of you,” Kim added, furrowing her eyebrows.
“That makes it feel somewhat worse,” Leah exhaled another shaky breath, “ just… I want an explanation, to make sense of the reason for all of this,” She mumbled, turning around as she spotted a photo on the mantle place—an old photo of when you were two years old and wearing your first ever Arsenal kit, it was the photo that was given to her by Jean right before she died, picking it up and holding it in her hands, “I feel like I could scream at her… and then hug her all at once.”
“That makes two of us,” Jordan stated, shaking her head.
“Monks’ in big trouble,” Buddy chimed in at the perfect opportunity, getting a read on the room.
Katie chuckled, “Yer bet she is. Big, big trouble.”
“Ground her until she’s thirty at this rate,” Keira declared, “She can’t just go about leaving the country—she’s barely just turned eighteen!”
“Better make it forty,” Kim piped in.
“When Monks’ gonna come back?” Buddy questioned, confused.
“I wish we knew the answer to that one, puddin’,” Jordan answered quietly, brushing a stray hair behind Buddy’s ear, “But don’t worry I’m sure we’ll see her again.”
“Right… I’m phoning G,” Leah decided on her decision, firmly as she grabbed her phone off the coffee table.
Keira furrowed her brows, “Why?”
“Because if Monkey isn’t going to answer me then I know that she will,” Leah insisted, scrolling to find Georgia’s number in her contacts, “... And I need her to keep an eye on her if we can’t because whether she admits it or not, she is not okay… and running away isn’t going to fix any of her trauma. She can’t just put a plaster on it and make it seem like everything is fine—I know my daughter, I know she’s not dealing well… I was just so blind to not see it sooner and help her before it escalated to this.”
“If that’s the case then we both let her down, Le,” Jordan added, biting her bottom lip.
Kim shook her head, “Neither of you let her down, she just pretended to make it seem like she was coping. That’s not on either of you.”
“Kim is right, girls,” Amanda agreed with the Scottish women, “Bubba… don’t beat yourself up over this.”
“You two know Monkey better than anyone, she’s not the kind of person to ask for help,” Keira joined in on the conversation, “She’ll try and stay afloat even when she’s drowning.”
“Maeve! Welcome to Bayern!” José Barcala greeted you warmly, stepping forward and shaking your hand with a firm grip, “We’re very happy you have decided to join us here on loan.”
“Hi,” You replied politely because manners matter, making a first good impression, “Thank you, I’m really happy to be here.”
Did you do a good job hiding your nerves twisting in your stomach? You hoped so.
Bianca Rach smiled beside him, already flicking through a slim folder, “You’ve made a brave decision. We value players who are willing to challenge themselves.”
José nodded, “So, shall we get started?”
“Sure,” You said quickly, “That sounds great.”
“Good,” Bianca said, “We’ll begin with a walk through the training grounds, just to allow you to get familiar with your new surroundings, you can do your medical and then we’ll take you through to where you can sign your contract and get a few candid shots for social media. How does that sound?”
“Y… Yeah, that sounds okay,” You breathed, shoulders tense ever so slightly still.
José didn’t miss the way that your shoulders lifted with that breath, but he didn’t comment on it either, “Come on then,” He said, turning smoothly on his heel and already walking with precision, “Let’s show you around.”
You followed behind nervously, hands twisting together.
“So this is our main pitch. Our first team usually trains here and recovery sessions happen indoors,”
You hummed in agreement, your eyes scanning over the gym, recovery pool, Cryotherapy chambers, and a row of bikes that looked ridiculously expensive.
“Wow,” You murmured in awe of everything.
José chuckled, “That reaction never gets old.”
Inside you were handed schedules and a temporary swipe card. You listened intently while someone explained meal plans while another talked you through injury protocols.
You attempted to absorb it but your brain was already running at ninety miles an hour.
Medical checks came next.
Height, weight, heart rate and blood pressure. A treadmill test that left your lungs burning and your legs shaking just enough to remind you that this was solely your decision—you made this move, nobody forced you.
A doctor smiled approvingly as he jotted something down, “Excellent form. No concerns.”
Relief loosened something tight in your chest.
From there, you’re ushered into a quiet office that was glass walls, a sleek desk and your name already printed neatly at the bottom of a document waiting for you.
Bianca slid the contract in your direction, “Take your time.”
Automatically scanning your eyes over it, it said what you already knew. The length of your loan, expectations, safeguarding and support. A lot of big, formal words that made this whole thing feel truly terrifying for the first time.
You hesitantly picked up the pen.
This was it. This was the moment that everything changed.
Your hand was shaky, but you were able to sign your name.
Maeve Rae Williamson-Nobbs.
There it was, out there in black and white. There was no going back now.
This was it.
There was a camera in front of you, snapping candid photos.
“Welcome,” José said, standing and offering his hand again, “Officially.”
There was another picture shot.
And another.
You did your best to try and look as natural as you could.
“Smile,” The photographer encouraged kindly.
In your defence, you tried. You just couldn’t loosen up.
“Ready to meet some of your new teammates?” José suggested kindly.
You nodded solemnly, trying to make it seem like you were more confident than you felt, “Sure!”
It was all going so well.
Until it wasn't.
“Monkey?” You heard a familiar voice cut through the corridor, casual and confident just like normal.
Georgia, otherwise known as Leah’s best friend and your incredibly annoying, obnoxious auntie that made it her mission to wind you up no matter what, but she was also someone that wouldn’t hesitate to snitch on you given the chance.
It was only a matter of time before you would bump into her.
You slowly turned around, a sheepish smile appearing across your features, “Uh, hiya Auntie G…”
“What? No hug for your favourite Auntie?” Georgia questioned, mildly offended.
“Who says you’re my favourite?” You challenged, smirking faintly, “I think I prefer Auntie Kei a lot more.”
“Well that’s just charming,” Georgia muttered, crossing her arms over her chest, “Alright, next question… what the hell are you doin’ here?”
“Oh, I’m uh… I’m here on loan,” You shifted your weight, suddenly fascinated by the floor, “Surprise?” You added, weakly.
Georgia blinked in disbelief, “You’re what?” She continued to stare at you almost like she didn’t entirely believe you, "Seriously? Wow—wait, hold on a second. Why is this the first I’m hearing about it—?”
As if summoned by the need to cause chaos, Georgia’s phone vibrated loudly in her hand.
“Oh,” Georgia briefly glanced at it, “Speak of the devil. It’s your mum.”
Your stomach dropped, “Don’t answer it.”
“Why not?” Georgia questioned, suspiciously.
Your response was cut short when her phone buzzed again.
Several times.
📲 G please call me
📲 Monkey is in Munich
📲 Georgia I really need you to answer me
📲 Please
You swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, “Cos’ uh… I might not’ve… exactly told my mum or mama that I was joining Bayern on loan.”
“Monkey,” Georgia’s jaw tightened.
“But by the amount of phone calls,” You added quickly, “I’m guessing that they’ve realised I’m not, uh y’know… not at home now.”
“This isn’t funny, Monkey,” Georgia said sharply, pinching the bridge of her nose, “It’s not funny. At all.”
Georgia’s phone vibrated again.
📲 G please, I really need to talk to you. Call me. ASAP.
“Wait—hold on a second…” Georgia said, holding up her hand, “Do you mean to tell me that you’ve flown from London to Munich without telling anyone? Not even your Mum’s?”
You winced, “Uh… yeah?”
“Monkey!” Georgia shouted, appalled.
“There was no time—I was planning to do it, I swear but uh… plans changed and I chickened out,” You admitted sheepishly.
“Monkey!” Georgia shouted again in disbelief.
“Please, stop shouting,” You said quietly, “Look… I know I’ve gone about it the wrong way but I couldn’t deal with the freak out.”
“And hence why your mum is now phoning me?” Georgia shot back, “You’ve probably had them worried out of their minds!”
You didn’t respond. You knew you were bound to make them worried sick.
You felt absolutely terrible about it.
“... I didn’t mean to do that. I’m uh, I’m not sure to tell them,” You mumbled quietly, avoiding Georgia’s gaze.
Georgia’s phone started to ring once again.
“Auntie G, please…” You murmured.
Georgia held her finger up in front of your face, “Uh uh, we’re dealing with this now. You, sit there… and don’t move!” She insisted, answering her phone call,”Hey, Le. Sorry, just seen your text… yeah, she’s here. Yes, she’s safe with me.”
You watched her face change as Leah spoke.
There was a brief, tense pause.
“No, I’m not putting you on speaker,” Georgia said dryly, “Why? Because you’re already loud enough as it is.”
You winced.
“Yeah, don’t worry, I know. I’ve heard all about her… adventures,” Georgia continued, sparing a glance in your direction, “I will keep an eye on her. You have my word.”
There was another pause.
“She’s standing right here next to me,” Georgia said before proceeding to hold the phone out to you, “She wants to talk to you.”
“No. No, no…” You tried to deny, shaking your head in disagreement.
“Monkey, talk to her,” Georgia pressed her phone into your hand.
You huffed, “Do I have to?”
“Yeah, you do. You can’t blank your family,” Georgia stated, firmly.
“Monkey? Is that you?”
You hesitated, slowly taking Georgia’s phone into your warm, clammy hand, “... Hi, Mum.”
“MAEVE RAE WILLIAMSON-NOBBS!”
You physically flinched.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS?” Leah’s voice was loud enough that Georgia could hear it without speaker, “I CAME HOME AND YOU WEREN’T HERE—BED EMPTY! NO NOTE… NOTHING—”
“Did you seriously just quote Harry Potter?” You couldn’t help but blurt out the question because your brain loves to self sabotage yourself.
“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, MAEVE!” Leah barked in response, “DO YOU FIND IT FUNNY TO SCARE YOUR MAMA AND I LIKE THAT?”
Silence.
“Well? Maeve, I asked you a question,” Leah prompted.
“... You just told me not to interrupt,” You mumbled quietly.
Leah exhaled a sigh on the other end of the phone, no doubt she was pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration while pacing the living room, “That was when I was talking, Monkey.”
“I… I didn’t do it intentionally,” You rushed out, “I had a plan—I was uh… I wanted to find the right time to tell you both. It was just that Renee—”
“Renee?” Leah’s voice sharpened, “What has she got to do with it?”
“Uh, well she set the loan up,” You admitted quietly, afraid to admit it aloud.
You heard Leah click her tongue on the other end of the phone, “Unbelieveable.”
At this point, you could practically hear her glaring through the phone.
“I wan’ speak to Monks’!” You heard your little sister insist, excitedly, “Monks’! Where are ‘ou? ‘Ou in lotta trouble!”
“Not now, munchkin. Your Mummy and Mama need to talk to her about serious stuff, okay?,” Jacob told her gently, “Hey! How about we play hide and seek, yeah? You go hide and I’ll count. It’ll be fun!”
“Kay den!” Buddy was eager to agree, scampering off into the other room.
“Thanks, Jacob,” Jordan said gratefully, “You're such a good uncle!”
“It’s alright, I figured that it was best…” Jacob mumbled, exhaling a sigh before he leaned over in the direction of the phone, “What you did wasn’t cool, Monks’. You’ve had everyone worried sick.”
“Wait, J?” You furrowed your brows together in confusion, “What’re you doin’ there?”
“Well when Leah calls me to tell me that you’re missing, it’s bound to make me and mum rush over,” Jacob answered sarcastically, “Way to cause a scene, Monks’. We’ll talk when I see you… for now I’m on hide and seek duty.”
“Yeah, uh… bye,” You mumbled, feeling a pang of guilt in your chest.
“Who else knew about this?” Leah questioned, dangerously calm.
“Uh,” You hesitated to tell her for a split second, “Only Lessi, Kyra, Vic and Codi… they found out and said that I should tell you—”
“Hang on a minute,” Leah cut in fast, a dangerous calm slipping in, “Rewind… you mean to tell me that the girls knew?”
You internally swore, realising that you just threw your best friends under the bus, “Umm… yeah?”
“I’m going to kill those girls when I get my hands on them!” Leah was fuming on the other end of the phone, “I’ve been phoning them trying to find out where you are and they all didn’t answer—it’s no wonder that they didn’t answer now!”
“Consider them all benched for the foreseeable," You heard Kim mumble in the background.
You furrowed your brows together, “Wait, Auntie Kimmy’s there as well as J and Nana?”
“Don’t forget about us, little lady,” You recognised Katie’s voice, “What yer have done is beyond stupid… worrying yer Ma’s like that!”
“Not cool, Monkey,” Keira chimed in, “Why would you worry both of them like that? Not even a single text!”
“Wait, uh… am I on loud speaker?” You cut in, confused, “Did you seriously call everyone around to come and look for me?”
“I was worried, Monkey. You’ve just turned eighteen. Of course I called people!” Leah’s reply came out rougher, cracked around the edges, “I came home expecting to find you curled up on the sofa, complaining about something and it was like you had just… vanished—I was this close to phoning the police and putting out a missing persons report!”
“Well that’s a tad on the dramatic side,” You mumbled, attempting to try and find the funny side of things.
“Maeve!” Leah snapped, “Will you stop making a joke of everything for once and take things seriously? You’d disappeared without a single word, there was no way of contacting you. You had me scared to death, Buddy has been crying because you’re not here. You just… You can’t do that sort of thing, Monkey. It’s not okay.”
By the end of her rant, Leah’s voice was shaky, almost like she was on the edge of crying.
You felt awful. Truly awful.
The mention of Buddy made your throat tighten, “I… I wasn’t trying that—I… I’m sorry Mum… I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t mean to scare you both.”
“It’s okay little one,” Jordan’s voice came through the phone, softer compared to Leah’s.
“Are you safe?” Leah questioned, “I mean… I know you’re with G, so that’s one less worry to think about—I just… you flew alone, you’ve never done that before! Did you cope in the airport?”
“I’m okay, I promise. I just… needed a change of scenery,” You said quickly, wanting to avoid any more of the current conversation.
Leah scoffed, no doubt shaking her head in protest, “If you had needed a change of scenery then go out into the garden, or take a walk to the park… you don’t escape to another country, Monkey—are you even hearing yourself right now? You can’t just run away to escape, that’s not how we handle things in this family, and you know that.”
“What your mum means to say little one is that we’re not saying you aren’t allowed to go,” Jordan cut in gently, “We will support you in any career changes you want to make, sweetheart. We just don’t want you to disappear and leave everyone thinking the worst.”
“You’re making it out like what I’ve done is terrible,” You muttered under your breath, hoping that neither of them heard what you said.
Turns out they did.
“Because it is!” Leah snapped, “What don’t you get, Monkey?”
“I’m just saying,” You tried again, “I… I didn’t vanish into thin air or run off to join the circus. I’m just at another club, I needed a change in football… It's nothing terrible.”
“Maeve,” Leah’s voice was dangerously calm, “Are you being serious right now?”
“Monkey, sweetheart, I know you think deflecting and joking is a way to cope but this is not the moment to do that,” Jordan’s tone softened, but still had a sense of firmness.
“I’m coping fine,” You blurted, “Honestly I’m fantastic. New city, new training grounds, free German snacks—”
“Monkey, enough.” Jordan cut in, her voice still gentle but leaving no room.
“Pass the phone here, let me talk to her,” You heard Amanda insist from the other side of the phone.
You swallowed a lump that formed in your throat, “... Nana?”
“Yes, it’s Nana,” Amanda replied, her voice warm like normal, “Hello, my darling girl. What’ve you been doing, huh?”
“Hi,” You mumbled, suddenly feeling about ten years old, caught with your hand in the biscuit tin.
… That only happened a couple of times.
“I just… I didn’t think about things,” You admitted quietly.
Amanda exhaled a sigh, “Do you know what your mum sounded like when she rang me and told me she couldn’t find you?”
“... Upset?” You tried your luck with that answer.
“She was beside herself with worry and she couldn’t get her words out,” Amanda replied simply, “She thought that something had happened to you, Monkey. Your mama thought the same, and your little sister has cried herself hoarse, she doesn’t understand where you’ve gone or why you have… she just knows that her big sister isn’t at home like she thought you would be.”
The joking died in your mouth—what had you done?
“I… I didn’t think it’d be like that,” You admitted, your voice cracking.
“And that right there is the problem, sweetheart,” Amanda stated gently, “It’s okay to seek a new adventure, but before you do, at least have the common sense to tell them so they’re not prepared to file a missing persons’ report. You don’t get to take that space by frightening the people that love you.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone by leaving,” You spoke in remorse, your eyes stung and you had to blink hard to avoid any tears spilling.
“I know,” Amanda said, “But hurt doesn’t always require intent—you didn’t just leave the house, you left your family… a family that would’ve helped you pack if you told all of us the truth.”
“... Oh, what have I done?” You immediately thought to yourself, “I… I really messed up.”
“Yes, you did this time,” Amanda didn’t beat around the bush, “But you’re still ours… and we’re still here.”
“I’m sorry, Nana,” You apologised honestly.
“You don’t need to apologise to me,” Amanda was quick to tell you, “You need to apologise to your mums’ but don’t think we won’t be having a proper conversation about this properly soon. Face to face.”
You swallowed, “I know.”
“Good,” Amanda said, “Now… I’m going to put you back onto your mum and you can apologise to her, okay? I love you Monkey.”
“Love you too, Nana,” You whispered.
“Monkey?” Leah’s voice reappeared on the other end of the time.
“I’m sorry, mum… I messed up, big time,” You were quick to apologise, “I can understand why you are so mad—I didn’t… I really didn’t think about it before I did it.”
Leah let out a shaky breath, “You did, but you’re safe. You’re with G, and I trust her to take care of you—and that means eating proper meals and sleeping too, yeah?”
“Yeah… yeah, okay,” You mumbled in agreement, “I love you… and I miss you, so much already—Buddy and Mama too!”
“I love you too, my girl… even when you drive me absolutely round the bend,” Leah replied, chuckling.
You laughed faintly, “Can I talk to Mama?”
“Of course you can,” Leah agreed with ease.
“Hi little one,” Jordan’s voice spoke up, “You doing okay?”
“Hi, Mama. I’m… sorry,” You apologised honestly, “I really fu—fudged up.”
“Close call there,” Jordan chuckled, “I know you are sorry. You gave us one hell of a fright, little one. But for the record…. I’m proud of you for taking this step… just remember that I’m on the other end of the phone if you need to talk, alright? Just because you’ve moved to another country doesn’t mean I will stop caring about you and being your mama.”
“Love you, Mama,” You whispered.
You could imagine Jordan smiling on the other end of the call, “I love you too, little one. Now, don’t think we won’t be checking in on you… and when the time is right and you’re settled, I’ll come visit you.”
“O… Okay,” You stuttered in agreement.
“We’ll talk again tomorrow, yeah? Properly?” Jordan suggested, honestly.
“Y… Yeah, I’d like that,” You mumbled in response.
“I’ll pass you back to your Mum so you can say bye properly,” Jordan told you, “Bye, little one.”
There was a brief shuffling on the other end of the phone.
“Monkey, are you still there?” Leah checked, pressing the phone to her ear.
“I’m still here, Mum…” You mumbled quietly.
“I’m not happy with the decision you’ve made,” Leah repeated, slower this time, “But I respect it. You’re eighteen now.”
You closed your eyes, gripping the phone a little tighter.
“However, that doesn’t mean I agree with how you went about it,” Leah continued, “And it doesn’t mean I’m not still angry. Because I am.”
“I figured,” You murmured.
“But,” Leah added, softening her voice just enough to make your chest ache, “You’re technically an adult now. You are allowed to make choices I don’t like. You’re not allowed to disappear and let me think I’ve lost you.”
“I know,” You whispered, “I won’t do that again. I swear.”
“You proper scared me, my girl,” Leah admitted honestly, “I don’t want to ever be in that position again, alright?”
You swallowed another lump in your throat, “I… I didn’t mean it, I just didn’t know how to say it out loud with everything blowing up.”
“And instead you let everything blow up anyway,” Leah said gently.
“... Yeah,” You muttered in response.
Leah exhaled a sigh, “Listen… you don’t have to go ahead and explain everything right now. I can hear it in your voice—I know it’s not something that you want to talk about. But we will talk, in private. Just the two of us. No jokes, no dodging, okay?”
“... Okay, Mum,” You agreed, nodding solemnly even though Leah couldn’t see you.
“And Monkey? You don’t have to earn space by hurting yourself or us,” Leah continued gently, “You never have. Just… talk to us.”
Your throat tightened at Leah’s words, “I didn’t think I deserved it otherwise.”
Leah went still, “Look, it’s probably not best to talk about this over the phone, my girl. We need to talk, face to face. I will come and see you when you’re settled, yeah? But for now, I need you to promise me something.”
“... What?” You questioned.
“That you’ll stay with G, let her keep an eye on you. Make sure you eat and sleep. Please? Just… so I know you’re safe,” Leah mumbled, worry evident in her voice.
“Mum, I… I don’t want a fuss,” You stammered, reluctant to want to accept the care.
“It’s not fussing, it’s basic care,” Leah insisted firmly, “You have a bunch of aunties around you—G would want you to stay with her.”
“I’ll take care of her I promise, Le,” Georgia chimed in, hearing the tailend of the conversation.
You guess you had no choice but to agree regardless, “... Fine, alright.”
“I love you, Monkey,” Leah murmured, “Speak soon… and try to stay out of trouble, yeah?”
“I love you too, Mum,” You let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you was holding in as the line went dead on the other end.
You handed Georgia’s phone back to her.
“You doin’ alright?” Georgia wondered, concerned.
You chewed the inside of your cheek, shaking your head, “I think I’ve really upset my mums doing this,”
“Well kid… what did you expect?” Georgia shot back, blunt as ever.
“Wow that was blunt,” You remarked.
Georgia snorted, looping her arm around your shoulder, “Sometimes you need to hear the hard truth. Now, come on, let's get you back to the flat—and no objection… I made your mum a promise I’d take care of you while you’re here, superstar.”
“Fine, alright… but you’re not gonna be like, on my case or anything are you?” You wondered, suppressing the urge to let out a groan.
“Please, I’m not Keira, Maevey,” Georgia huffed, leading you in a different direction, “What do you take me for? I’m so much cooler than she is.”
“You let my daughter go to Bayern?” Leah’s voice rang sharp, slicing through the quiet of the office as she stormed inside, the door swinging shut behind her with a hell of a lot more force than necessary. Her arms were crossed tight across her chest with rigid shoulders—a defensive line she had perfected both on and off the pitch.
Renee looked up from her desk, composed as ever, “Leah…”
“No. No, no. I cannot believe you!” Leah interrupted, pacing the floor as her trainers squeaked faintly on the floor, “Since when the hell was this even arranged? You didn’t think to call me to, I don’t know, give me a heads up before it was decided?”
“Leah, listen,” Renee tried again, a touch more gentler this time, “Monkey came to me and asked for a loan period at a different club. It’s entirely what she wanted.”
Leah froze mid step, turning to face her coach, “What?”
“She’s gone there off her own back,” Renee continued, “I didn’t make her do anything. I just arranged what she asked.”
“She doesn’t know what she wants right now,” Leah’s jaw clenched, “She’s overwhelmed, she’s so vulnerable and now she’s just… she’s gone. Packed up and vanished halfway across Europe like that—how could you let that happen?”
“Leah, she said that she needed space. She felt like everything was too much and she was drowning,” Renee expressed your words, “She told me that herself. I never approached her. She wanted to get away for a while, and if I’m being honest about it… I think she made the right call.”
Leah let out a short, incredulous laugh, “The right call?” Her voice cracked, “Renee, she’s hurting right now and doesn’t know what she wants. The best thing is for her to be surrounded by her family—the ones that love her and can support her through this! But that can’t happen because now she’s in another country. You’re seriously telling me that’s what is best for my daughter?”
“Leah—” Renee tried to speak.
“I know what is best for my daughter,” Leah snapped, “And it’s certainly not this!”
“What’s best for your daughter,” Renee began carefully, “And what feels safest to you are not always the same thing, Leah.”
Leah stopped pacing, “Don’t.”
“I’m not saying this to undermine you,” Renee continued, softening her tone, “I’m saying it because I care about Monkey, too. She didn’t come to me on a whim. This wasn’t impulsive. She came here prepared. She had thought about it. She knew exactly what she was asking for.”
“She’s eighteen, Renee,” Leah snapped, her jaw clenching, “She’s eighteen years old. She’s allowed to think she knows what she wants. That doesn’t mean she does.”
“And sometimes,” Renee replied evenly, “Being surrounded by family doesn't feel like support but more so… pressure instead.”
That landed like a low blow. Harder than Leah expected.
“She didn’t say you were the problem,” Renee added quickly, “She never said that. Not at all. But she did say she felt like she was suffocating. Like everyone expected her to be okay all the time… when the reality is grave and she’s really been struggling to cope, Leah.”
Leah’s throat tightened, “I… I wish she could’ve come to me and told me—I should’ve known that something was wrong. A lot different than the fake smile she was trying to plaster on. I should’ve asked the questions. I should’ve taken her to speak to a therapist. Maybe then she might not have made this decision.”
“She didn’t know how to talk to you, Leah,” Renee replied honestly, “And if I’m honest? Neither did you.”
“So, what are you trying to say?” Leah laughed, sharp and humourless, “Are you trying to say this is my fault now—that I’ve driven my own daughter away?”
“No,” Renee said quickly, “This is nobody’s fault. But it is a reality check.”
Leah dragged a hand down her face, suddenly looking exhausted rather than angry, “She just… left without a word, Renee. I went to pick up the girls from my mum’s house and I came back home to an empty house—everything was gone and it was just like she vanished entirely. Do you realise what that does to a parent? I felt terrified!”
“I understand how you must have felt, Leah,” Renee said in a calm tone of voice, “That’s why we’ve made sure she isn’t alone out there. She is staying with someone you trust, she’s got support on site. Welfare, physcology—the whole lot. We’re still there to support her… from a distance.”
Leah looked up sharply, “You’ve put her on welfare watch?”
“Ive put her on support,” Renee corrected gently, “The same way I would for any young player who’s uprooted their life.”
The silence stretched between them.
“She didn’t run away, Leah,” Renee added, “She asked for help in the only way she knew how.”
“I finally managed to speak to her and all I did… I just yelled because I was so scared,” Leah admitted, her voice cracking and showing her emotional vulnerability, “I wish I could have just reached through the phone and hugged her. I know she needs the break, I just don’t like how she went about it.”
“That emotion is understandable,” Renee insisted, gently, “I’m sorry I didn’t speak to you about it first, Maeve pleaded with me to not tell you but I made it clear that she needed to speak to you both—I was under the impression that she told you both before she left.”
“Renee, she’s my first baby. When I looked at her… I still see that naive little six year old girl that wormed her way into my heart… and my bed. The little girl that was so cheeky but yet she had to be so strong for so many years. The little girl that used to wake up from nightmares and instantly run into my bedroom to protect her from the monsters. I know she’s a lot older now but to me, she’ll always be my little girl that I vowed to protect with my life,” Leah murmured, her voice cracking faintly.
“She’ll always be your little girl, Leah. No matter how old she gets.” Renee said quietly.
“You swear to me that she’s safe and this is what she wanted?” Leah questioned, her eyes glassy,
Renee smiled softly, “I swear, Leah. You have my word. I promise that Bayern didn’t take her to use her. They took her to protect her while she figures herself out.”
Leah sniffled, wiping her tears away, “She will come back, won’t she?”
“She will,” Renee replied gently, “She just needs time and space to breathe… without anything suffocating her.”
© foreverinred
