#seongcheol

ᯓ★ | seungcheol.

He was off limits.

From the moment you knew your best friend, Haewon, had a crush on him, he was not supposed to ever be in your radar of romantic boundaries as per the rules of being a best friend. 

Seeing her going crazy for a boy like him at first really made you question if there was something wrong with you because you just couldn’t quite see it.

Sure he was literally the definition of tall, blonde and gorgeous. Sure he had adorable dimples that made him look less intimidating than you thought he initially was. Sure he was also the frat president as well as the captain of the soccer team making you wonder how he was able to still balance getting great grades.

Well. There was a slight possibility you could see what others saw. 

Maybe even more when the time you tried to play wingman for Haewon at a party where you lost her because apparently she was looking for him but said guy turned up right beside you as you were contemplating on what would least likely not kill your liver if you had it resulting in having conversations about cherries ( you don’t even know ) and him trying to convince (gaslight) you into soccer being one of the greatest games of all time. 

You didn’t get convinced but for the time it felt right to agree to what he said if it meant those adorable dimples would show up when you did. 

You were so screwed. 

Another thing Choi Seungcheol had was a great memory, because he seemed to remember you when he saw you walking down the hallway with Haewon as he smiled so widely at you in greeting. 

“Haha yeah hey! um…This is Haewon by the way! Haewon, Seungcheol.” You had to nudge her to snap out of her daze and she extended her hand in greeting as he politely shook her hand. 

“That reminds me, I forgot to ask you last night but uh can I have your-”

“Oh would you look at that! We’re getting late for class! I’m so sorry Seungcheol, we’ll have to leave!” 

That moment you think you were so going to hell when you saw how quickly his smile fell and how his sparkly eyes dimmed down because it felt like you committed a sin then and there. You think you saved yourself from committing a sin but it didn’t feel less dreadful as you grabbed her hand and rushed as quickly as you could.

In the opposite direction of where your class was.

“WHAT WAS THAT-”

“Listen- when you were looking for him last night- I swear I don’t know how but he was right where I ended up sitting and he-well, we talked I suppose-?”

Her eyes widened at your words and you raised your hands in surrender, 

“I promise I didn’t even know when he showed up, I tried to message you and even find you but you seemed gone until the moment we were leaving.”

“Plus the reason I didn’t tell you last night was I was tired! I was here trying to play wingman while the person in love was seemingly gone-”

She sighed and nodded at you, “You don’t have to explain, I know he’s not your type, you made that clear a lot of times actually it’s kinda hilarious.” She giggled as she recalled the countless times you chastised her for daydreaming about him. But now, you couldn’t stop the stupid tinge of bitterness in your heart.

Right. Not my type. 

Suddenly her eyes widened as an idea struck her, “That’s it! He was gonna ask for your number right? You can try and set me up then!”

“I well- I don’t know-”

“Please! You know how I have been trying to get to know him even.”

You didn’t want to say it then but you thought about how trying meant actually doing something rather than just gazing from afar. At least become friends with him was the words you told her countless times but she paid no heed, retorting how it was not that easy.

But it was easy because what’s the worst that could happen? Him having a partner? So it wasn’t the end of the world, others existed! 

Too bad you were easy to persuade, questionably easy because all it took were her doe eyes pleading at you to agree.

“Fine- I’ll try- but no promises.”

As she hugged you and squealed words of gratefulness to you, you couldn’t quite put a finger on it then but, 

You didn’t understand why it felt a part of you couldn’t seem to share the same happiness, conceivably a lingering dread there that knew something was surely going to go wrong.

✮⋆˙ | wonwoo.

Everytime Jeon Wonwoo had the ever so unfortunate ( according to him ) time to exist in the same room as you, it seemed like an impending doom for him. 

His heart felt weird, his stomach dropped, his throat parched.

He hated it. 

He was an individual who knew what they wanted in life. Never unsure nor second guessing, always able to classify their emotions in proper ways. Systematic is the right word. Able to know what exactly he wants to do in his career, how to behave with his friends, when to be serious and when to have ‘fun’. 

So what happens when you completely throw him off the rocks with your mere existence?

He hates you. That’s how he tags the emotions he feels when he sees you and what does hatred sprout? Indifference. 

Too many questions asked but it’s what Wonwoo declares. 

Though, he thinks the first mistake is to think he’d be able to avoid you considering the fact that you were his best friend/roommate’s good friend. Meaning you spent around twenty to twenty two hours at their place (Yes he counted) and he absolutely hated it.

He hated how your giggles would ring out in the entire apartment when Mingyu said a half-assed joke, it literally made his chest feel uneasy. He hated how your eyes would always twinkle when you would be talking to Mingyu, it made his stomach drop and sigh in disbelief. 

Was Mingyu that oblivious to how much you liked him?

Now this was a question that made Wonwoo almost throw up. Odd.

“You know if you don’t make a move, he won’t even know right? I know you think he’s one of the smartest but in the romance field, I think even fucking Jihoon beats him at that.” 

Or perhaps Wonwoo was just very oblivious to how much you liked him. 

You shook your head at Mingyu’s words as you both walked up to his apartment, the butterflies in your stomach already churning at the thought that Wonwoo was likely home. 

“And also it’s getting concerning how much time you spend in my apartment for the sake of him, like at this point just move in you creep—HEY!Ow!— that hurt you ass!”

“It’s not that easy,Gyu,he’s – he’s Wonwoo for God’s sake!”

“That’s exactly why it’s easy! It’s Wonwoo! Be direct with him. I’ve known him for years and trust me, he won’t know until you spit it out to him!”

Maybe…maybe he was right. Afterall he had been friends with Wonwoo before even knowing you.

“What if he doesn’t even feel the same–”

“Be serious. He literally looks like a lovesick fool when you’re over–”

“Maybe he’s just sick of me coming over.”

Mingyu stopped walking and you didn’t even realize until you were a few steps ahead. Pausing when you finally saw he wasn’t beside you.

His expression was like he was close to ripping out his hair from frustration while also being flabbergasted. It was kinda hilarious and you had to gulp to prevent laughing because you were sure he might just kill you.

“Okay! Okay, fine– I'll listen to you– maybe not confess today! But I'll ask if we can hangout or something,happy?”

“Very.” 

You rolled your eyes at his words as you both began climbing up the stairs, telling him to shush with his teasing as the tips of your ears began to feel warm and the blood rushed to your cheeks with every scenario you imagined.

Maybe if you thought that the upcoming scenario would ever occur. it would have hurt less. 

As you waited for Mingyu to pull out his keys, you could feel your nerves igniting through your skin and your stomach churning. But before Mingyu could insert the key, the door opened.

You wouldn’t have questioned anything, if it weren’t for the obvious messy hair, hickey marks trailing down her exposed neck and of course, the star of your daydreams right behind her, standing with a surprised face.

It was obvious what had occurred, the confirmation lying in the bruises on his neck. 

“Woah–uh.” Mingyu stuttered awkwardly, and you could feel his sympathy as he glanced at you. You couldn’t think of anything else other than how…right you were and how wrong Mingyu was.

You didn’t know who she was but it wasn’t her fault. Or anyone’s. Maybe yours. So as a weird tension simmered through the air, you looked away from them and just turned to Mingyu. 

And for the first time in his life probably, he was lost. Jeon Wonwoo was lost because why did he just feel like he committed a crime when he wasn’t even yours anyways?

He hated the way you looked away, not missing the hurt that flashed across your eyes as you realized what he probably was doing. 

You didn’t even notice she’d already left, smiling at Wonwoo and signing him to call her back, again. Probably not the first time, you thought.

“Uh-Gyu- I’ll go now, It’s getting late for me anyways,”

You really tried to stop your voice from cracking, the lump in your throat making you want to choke and die then and there. So you just looked at Mingyu, purposefully ignoring the way he looked at you in sympathy. 

His stare seemed to burn into your side profile. The words on the tip of his tongue, but what? It all felt like a lot but nothing at the same time. Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. 

Nodding goodbye to Mingyu and glancing at Wonwoo, offering a tight lipped smile as you waved, and then without saying anything you turned around. 

Mingyu frowned. His best friend couldn’t own up to his feelings for you and just when you were about to take a step forward, he somehow ended up fucking it up completely. 

What a mess. 

“Come on, we need to talk.”

Mingyu said seriously, putting an arm over Wonwoo’s shoulders, albeit a little forcefully which caused the other boy to almost stumble over. 

It seemed it was now up to him now to sort out this mess and hopefully it doesn’t get worse from here.

✩₊˚. | mingyu.

Being the new captain of the basketball team had its perks. Sure, you now officially got tagged as a ‘jock’, a title in itself that held its own benefits, probably more than just when you were another player in the team. 

But its disadvantages seemed more at the moment when you found yourself under the angered gaze of none other than Yoon Jiwoo. Another player of the basketball team. Shooting guard was the position.

By all means, it wasn’t your fault she was not captain, it was her own actions that did not get her the position. And plus, it wasn’t like it was bad not being a captain, Yeri was a small forward, yet probably the best one at it. So it was at the end of the day, nothing to you but just more responsibilities with the title. 

Plus, it was also voted by the rest of the players that you deserved to be captain this time when it was time to appoint a new captain. Jiwoo had been a captain before Lisa became that year, but she left and so there had to be a new choice made. 

With Jiwoo’s unfair hatred towards you, also came a similar animosity from her group of friends. Well you think Jiwoo wants them to share the same feelings as she does but you doubt they care enough, usually neutral towards you or sympathetic even as they tried to reason her animosity being useless.

They were five or six if you could remember correctly from the times they’d drop her to practice or come to pick her up sometimes. Apparently one of them was her cousin Yoon Jeonghan and you could surely see the similarities in them from the way unrealistically attractive they both looked. 

But the one that stuck out most to you was Kim Mingyu. Her best friend. And the one who supposedly hated you the most, after her that is.

Then why did he feel anything but hate? He couldn’t stop looking at you during your practice when he stuck around to wait for Jiwoo, as if in a trance as his gaze remained on you.

He couldn’t stop the way his heart sped up when you grinned so widely as you scored, tackling your teammate in a hug. Why was he suddenly envious of the people who got to experience your joy? 

In his defense, he liked you way before you were even captain. It was probably since the day he first saw you try for the teams and he thinks it was fate that he got to stumble onto you that one sunny afternoon. 

You were nervous for your trials and he was nervous from the way your hair prettily rested on your cheeks and made you almost glow in the sun. Yeah, he was convinced it was love at first sight.

Though he feels liking his best friend’s rival was…confusing. He didn’t know if he could take a side or if he should even question taking a side. 

“You pushed them on purpose Jiwoo!” Yeri yelled at her as she held you upright. You couldn’t even make out some of the words as you focused on the pain shooting up your ankle from the way it twisted. 

“We all saw it, stop acting like you did nothing!”

“Exactly, you have this weird hate boner for them since you couldn’t get your stupid captain title!” 

You were sure the first voice was Chaewon while the other was Yeri.

“Why are you all ganging up on me? It wasn’t on purpose! Ask-ask someone else as well!” Her voice got louder and louder as she finished her sentence. She didn’t expect people to take your side. Although her plan was just a little shove to keep you off balance as she got the ball in her hand, she did not expect you to twist your ankle completely. 

“It’s fine- just- just leave it. It was a mistake, I just-” Your words were cut off as you hissed out in pain again as you attempted to get up, only to tumble down again, luckily held up by Yeri and Chaewon.

They sat you down on the bench as they huddled around you in a panic. You pulled off your shoes, scrunching your nose from the smell but the pain quickly took your focus from that.

 “Hey! What’s going on?” You heard someone say as they entered, their voice familiar to you. Mingyu had come to pick up Jiwoo as usual, not knowing she left sneakily when they were focused on you, when he saw everyone huddled together, confused when he couldn’t see you amongst the first few he saw. 

He didn’t need to peek over due to his well…giant form, but he saw you sat down in the middle as he got closer, caressing your leg. His eyes widened when he saw your ankle swollen up and an angry red shade that was definitely not natural.

“Shit that looks bad.” You looked up and you swore you thought you were hallucinating. Because no way was Kim Mingyu out of everyone looking at you with nothing but worry and concern. He still looked…good. As always. Per usual. You think you got distracted from your pain for just a minute as you stared at him for a few seconds, him seemingly not noticing as he kept his eyes on your ankle.

“Blame your girlfriend.” Yeri scowled as she spitefully retorted, as Chaewon dug her elbow into her side to which she yelped and glared at her. 

“Girlfriend?” He turned his attention towards her, resembling a confused puppy as he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Yeri.” You spoke up firmly before she could say anything, looking at her with a look that told her to keep her mouth shut,not wanting to make this a bigger scene than it already was. She sighed and rolled her eyes, ultimately not saying anything.

You moved your leg around for a bit, deciding you should give it a go again to stand up, and drag yourself to the infirmary. And when you did stand up, it seemed you really overestimated yourself or perhaps underestimated your injury because next thing you knew you lost balance again.

But lucky for you, instead of landing right on the wooden floors and having a blistered lip, you landed right on Kim Mingyu. It only occurred to you now just how much taller than you he was when his whole form almost engulfed you.

“Woah. Take it easy, you’ll get hurt more.” He had wrapped one hand on your waist while the other held your arm. You think his touch burnt you more than anything because you felt yourself begin to warm up. 

“How about I take you to the infirmary? Sorry I didn’t say it sooner, I was just confused on what Yeri said and-”

“It’s-uh-it’s fine- I’ll go by myself-”

“Are you crazy?! You can’t even stand!”

You blinked, taken aback by his words, even more so with just how concerned he seemed,his eyes glistening with it. 

Kim Mingyu was someone you thought you knew but apparently you did not because a few minutes later, you found yourself being piggy-backed by him to the infirmary as he was scolding you about taking better care of yourself. 

You tried to reason that Yeri and Chaewon would take you but they both were adamant on Mingyu taking you, while they would go and look for a certain someone ( You prayed they would not be kicked out of the team).

His grip on your thighs, his shampoo that you could smell, his shoulders that were just so…so broad you couldn’t even fully wrap your arms around them…just him felt so overwhelming. Your pain was long forgotten as you tried not to freak out over how you were currently feeling over him.

But with the way he seemed, the way he acted, was it wrong to assume that perhaps, there was a possibility these feelings weren’t so one-sided?

Well, only one way to find out. 

₊˚⊹⋆ | vernon.

They say people shine their best when they are in their element doing what they love. But to you, Chwe Vernon shone even in the dimmest lights as he sat down in front of you.

It was just a few minutes before their gig. Him and his friends ; Jungkook, Mingyu and Eunwoo from what you remember, were all a part of an upcoming rock band. They were actually gaining more fame as time passed and you were proud to be one of the few who witnessed their growth from the beginning. 

They began from your small bar right in the downtown area where you worked as a bartender, you remembered their first performance, you were told it was their first gig actually. Now they are close to being signed up by a company, still wanting to perform one last time at the place where it all began. 

To you, he was the boy you’d always admire from afar, knowing there was no actual probability of him seeing you in that light. Even now, considering their gaining fame, you’d see the type of people that would swoon over him, even a few celebrities and models you remember. 

He was…a star. Far away and admirable but never in your reach. And stars are better to admire than seek anyways.

Though, it seemed your star wasn’t that far away from you as you thought. In fact he was much closer to you than you could even comprehend. 

In other words, Chwe Vernon was head over heels from you. Since the first time he performed and spotted you when you were busy serving drinks, since the time you told him how great they performed as he sat down in front of you while you talked about what interested you, your eyes gleaming under the dim bar light. And he thinks it was very much obvious what felt when he saw your wide grin, dimples poking out as you finally served him his drink. 

Whisky wasn’t something he liked, but you had recommended a certain combination with it and he thinks nothing else tasted sweeter that day. 

Sadly everyone around you but you saw that. Too focused on how you weren’t ever going to be a possibility because you thought he was just unattainable instead of thinking of the probability of just how much he may have liked you. 

“Nervous?” You smiled at him as you finished setting up the remaining glasses for the night, ready to serve knowing it would be a very busier night than usual due to them performing. 

Yes, yes he was nervous but not because of performing but because he was about to confess. 

“Haha- yeah- no! I mean uhm no- we’re- we’ll be fine.” He wanted to cuss at himself for stuttering, probably looking foolish, but he thought it was fine when he heard your giggle as you shook your head. 

“Oh you are. You’re already the best and I assume and hope it’ll only get better from now on.”

With you. It would get better with you because anything feels better with you. 

He wishes he could say it out loud, but maybe soon enough. That is if you don’t reject him. Yeah he doesn’t know what he’ll do if you do. Throw up probably. Or die. Dying seems good actually, he thinks. 

“Vernon? Here.” He snapped out of his thoughts as he blinked, looking down at the drink in front of him, confused because he didn’t order anything.

“On the house, from me. It’s my favorite drink actually. I-uh hope you like it.” He thinks even if you served him garbage he’d still be delighted, extreme but meh it was close to how he fell for you. Extreme and down bad.

“Oh then I’ll love it for sure.” Because I love you. 

Your grin grew wider as you were about to say something, you heard your name being called by your co-worker.

“Oh- I’m sorry I have to go now! I’ll be here when you perform for sure! Good luck!” 

“It’s okay, you’ll be here afterward.” 

You looked at him apologetically as he shook his head, knowing you were just doing your job and nodding to you to go, to which you waved goodbye at him. 

Perhaps you really underestimated your own words because apparently you couldn’t make it there. You were called by your mother who had gotten sick at home and needed someone to take care of her. 

You thought about whether you should inform Vernon but figured it wouldn’t be too much of a big deal, telling your co-worker to let him know in case he asked afterwards but you doubt he would, probably exhausted after the long night. You forgot your co-worker was switching shifts mid-way with another one, one who would obviously not know your whereabouts. 

And now as he got ready to sing the song he’d written for you, for you with very obvious lyrics about you, the moments with you, he searched for you but…you were nowhere. 

You weren’t there. 

Did you find out? Did you know? Did you think it was too much? 

All the questions arose in his mind as he shut his eyes and breathed in to calm himself. He couldn’t lose his cool on stage when there were so many fans waiting for him to perform.

He looked at his bandmates, and shook his head, not wanting to look at them again as they looked at him sympathetically.

“That’s it for tonight! We hope you continue supporting us in the future! Have a goodnight Seoul!” 

He said and this time as he felt anything but content, his heart heavier than ever and mind in a haze. 

Maybe in this lifetime, you’d both remain two separate stars. Far and never-crossing. 

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

feedback is always appreciated 💌

what if it's a criminal, trying to get through your door by getting you to open up out of curiosity? there are probably other less malicious possibilities, but none of them cross your anxious mind. before you can second-guess yourself, you're unlocking your phone and scrolling to find the contact of someone who you know will pick up, despite the time.

despite the less-than-great terms the two of you broke up on.

"y/n?", seungcheol picks up after two rings, "hey".

this is a very inconvenient time to realize just how much you've missed his voice.

"cheol", you whisper, hearing his sharp intake at the nickname, "there's someone tapping at my door".

"oh?", the sound of muffled footsteps comes through the phone, followed by an oddly-familiar bell, "did you ask who it is?"

"yeah. no response", the mysterious being scratches your door, and your breath hitches, "can you come over? i know it's late - "

"already on my way, baby"

baby. it's been five months since you've heard that petname. it makes you feel safer, bringing back memories of being wrapped up in seungcheol's arms after long days at work.

"aren't you driving here?", you ask, noticing his heavy breathing.

"no, i was at the creamery", there's a shy note in his voice, "was craving butterscotch. i'll be there in two, tops".

"okay", you breathe, "there wasn't a store near the dorm that had butterscotch?"

"doesn't taste the same".

ofcourse. despite it being your idea, you thought seungcheol would fare better after the separation, given how he was generally busier than you were. it appears that's not true, he's had a hard time letting things go - just like you. just like how you show up to the convenience store near his dorm once a week to sit on flimsy plastic chairs and have the ramen you used to share with him.

"entering your building now", he huffs, his footsteps on the staircase echoing through the phone, "i'll see what it is, okay?"

"yeah", you gulp, "be careful".

"i will, baby", he promises, "don't worry".

the line goes silent and you hold your breath, listening intently for any sign of movement. after a few minutes (probably a few seconds), there's a purposeful knock on the door, followed by seungcheol's muffled voice.

"opening!", you work through the lock and pull the handle, your eyes meeting your ex's amused ones, "what - oh".

at his feet is a black cat, languidly stretching.

"mira", you exclaim, bending down and lifting her up, "how did you get out?"

"i take it you know the lovely lady?", seungcheol teases.

"yes, oh god", you step out, moving past seungcheol to walk to your neighbor's door, "it's sana's mom's cat, she's catsitting. do you mind if i - ?"

"no, it's okay", he waves, "i'll wait here".

"you can go inside, seungcheol. it's okay".

you walk down the hallway before he can answer, your heart beating faster as you ring sana's door. her sleepy form opens the door before the cat in your arms jerks her wide-awake, and you wave away her apologies before handing her the animal. for a nefarious creature who you thought was a criminal coming to invade your home, mira is quite docile.

"thanks for coming", you say after you've entered your home, locking your door out of habit, "sorry it was for nothing".

it's been five months since seungcheol was in your home. he's sitting on the couch, at the spot where he kissed you for the first time. the last time he took that seat, you were arguing - well, you were complaining and he was defending himself, confused out of his mind at your outbursts.

he had cancelled four dates in a row - four times when you had made time for him and he had to cancel because of last-minute changes in his schedule. it wouldn't bother you usually; you did know what you were signing up for by being an idol's partner - but the last occasion was one where you were going to tell him about a research grant you had received at work. the resentment from all the cancellations and rescheduling built up, and you had broken up with him when he came by that night, asking him not to contact you. he wanted to protest, wanted to give it time, wanted to talk it out - but you were relentless, done feeling like you were being taken for granted.

in the weeks that followed, it became quickly apparent to you how badly you had handled things - for one, that day was the first time you even mentioned your resentment to seungcheol. you used to just put on a smile and pretend it was fine, thinking that was the mature thing to do. it so wasn't.

you also realized just how much his presence affected your life. even when he was tired out of his mind, he would call you every night - checking up on you and asking about your day, always making sure to tell you how much he loved you. no matter how busy he was, he never failed to show up at your place when he could - even if it was just to hold you for a couple of hours while you slept.

so why haven't you reached out to him? why haven't you begged him to take you back, to tell him you realize how wrong you were?

pride. stupid, stupid pride.

pride that is quickly dissipating at the sight of seungcheol sitting in your living room. looking like home.

"that's okay", he shrugs, smiling slightly before adding, "i was in the neighborhood".

you both chuckle, exchanging a glance that says a thousand unsaid words.

apologize, your mind screams, say you still love him.

"well, i should be going", he stands, "nice meeting again".

"yeah", you nod, "same".

there's a moment of silence as the two of you look at each other, and you wonder if he's holding himself back too. your eyes wander to his twisting fingers - a nervous tick. you look up to see his eyes on your hands patting the side of your thighs - also a nervous tick. both of you chuckle.

"i'm sorry - "

"i was wrong - "

both of you pause, grinning nervously.

"you first", he offers.

"okay", you start, "i'm sorry for being a bitch when we broke up. no, let me finish", you caution when he opens his mouth to interrupt, "you didn't know what i was feeling, i just dumped it all on you and didn't give you a chance to respond. i'm sorry", you inhale, "i'm so sorry".

"no, it's not your fault", he shakes his head, "i should've seen it coming. there's only so many times you can blow someone off before they snap", he runs a hand through his hair, "i'm sorry. your time is important, i shouldn't have taken it for granted".

"you didn't take it for granted, though", you protest, "you understood when i had to cancel, too. i should've said -".

"and i shouldn't have been a dumbass about how i was making you feel", he interrupts, raising a finger when you open you mouth, "point is. we both fucked up. truce?"

"fine", you answer grudgingly, reluctantly matching his winning smile, "only because i hate arguing with you".

seungcheol's face twists into a reminiscent expression, his ringtone echoing through your living room before he can speak.

"it's jihoon", he says after looking at the screen, his expression apologetic, "i have to go. we're scheduled to - i -"

"i know", you offer a smile, "i get it, really. later?"

please say yes.

"later", he promises with a returning smile.

he walks past you to the door, unlocking it with experienced motions, murmuring a soft "bye" before turning to leave.

"wait", seungcheol turns around when he's two feet away from your threshold, "come over for ramen tomorrow? i promise i won't cancel this time".

You played with your fingers until the sun went down. The weather was way below freezing level but you were sweating buckets. Nothing else was exciting you more than this night. This was the night that Seungcheol was finally going to officially ask you to be his girlfriend. You only waited for this since Mixer Night a year ago when he asked you to dance after your boyfriend had dumped you suddenly. He’s taken care of you along since then: making sure you're okay, making sure you’re fed, and seeing that you don’t feel left out. None of it felt like things guys normally did for someone that was considered just a friend.

Your eyes were glued on him this entire night at the company Thanksgiving party. You only half listened to the things coming out of Sandra’s mouth, while trying to make out the words that came out of Seungcheol’s. Was he talking about, was he thinking about you, was he as nervous as you are right now?

Through the grapevine, you had heard that he had something to ask you, specifically something that would benefit you. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. You contemplated it over more than enough times and only came up with the one conclusion it could likely be.

You finally met his eyes. He smiled in your direction and gave a subtle wave. You waved back, also a smile on your face. You see him start to head in your direction. You find yourself straightening out your skirt and flattening out the wrinkles of your dress shirt. You gave Sandra a half-assed excuse to leave and fall in the line of Seungcheol.

“Hi. How are you enjoying the party?” he asks, sporting a glass of red wine in his hand.

You shrugged. “Well, it’s as fun as you make it really. Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Anything’s fun with a bit of alcohol.”

You raised your own glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

Your glasses clinked together and you each took a sip.

You silently waited. Unsure how to move the conversation along without you talking about things like the weather or getting excited for things like casual Fridays. Stimulating conversations were never really your strong suit. Seungcheol had an easier relationship with words. “Do you wanna talk in a place less crowded?”

“Sure.”

You followed him to a more quiet area of the pub, ensuring your privacy. It was satisfying hearing voices fade into the background. You were reassured knowing that you had the moment alone with Seungcheol with a low chance of being interrupted. “I wanted to talk to you privately about something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

You take a seat in the booth and he follows, sitting across from you. You rest not so easy on the cushion seats, anticipating his next words. He sat in front of you, seemingly equally nervous, at least that's what it looked like. “Y/n. We’ve known each other for a while, so I know how you are. You’re a great person.”

You smiled. You had been talking to Seungcheol a while and he has quickly become the person you’re most close to. He had this personality that just made you spill your guts out. Maybe it was because he had more years on him than you did, you trusted the words that came out of his mouth and made you want to grow closer to him. He made you feel warm inside. You were happy to even get to see that cute smile of his that sent you mentally soaring.

You laughed, unsure how to respond. You had never been good with compliments. “Thank you?”

He laughed along with you. “You’re hard working, smart, attractive. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone like you?”

“Where’s this going, Cheol?” You feigned ignorance as blood rushed to your cheeks.

There was a marathon going in your chest and they were all Usain Bolt. Suppressing the pressure with light pats to your thigh, stabilizing yourself. It didn't help that you’ve had something to drink. You weren't normally a lightweight but being in the presence of nerves was something that made you feel helpless as you were impatient with him to get to the point.

“Y/n. I can’t say enough how amazing of a person you are and deserve someone to treat you that way. So…”

You bit your lip, your anticipation at its peak. “Yes?”

“How would you like...to be set up with someone?”

The tapping stopped. You stared blankly back at him, taken back. The question was far from anything you expected.

“Like a blind date?”

He nodded eagerly. “Exactly. For as long as I’ve known you, I always thought you and this person would be really great together.”

Disbelief was a huge understatement. Your heart was just shattered into a million pisces and you were basically rejected without even a chance of getting the words out. You didn't know whether you were more heartbroken by the fact that the guy you’re interested in wasn’t interested like you were into him or embarrassed by the fact that you expected him to confirm those feelings to you like some dumb lovestruck school girl.

You bit your tongue. “I see.”

“He’s a great guy. You guys have similar values, he’s someone that can take care of you but isn’t overbearing. I can vouch for him, I’ve known him for years.”

“Right.” You nodded absentmindedly.

“So, how about it?”

You didn’t know what prompted him to think you’d want to be in any relationship with anyone besides him. You thought he knew you like the back of his hand. Of course, you didn’t want to go on this date. It was him you wanted to be dating not anyone else.

His eyes glistened as if they had been bathing in the moon. His smile lit up in the dark atmosphere of the bar. He is such a beautiful man, but instead of being happy that you have his full attention, all you think about is how he can look at you like that and not reciprocate your feelings. Did he look at other people like this? If this is how he is with you, how did he look at someone he’s in love with?

“Seungcheol,” you answered hesitantly, “I don’t really know about having a blind date.”

He gave you a reassuring smile and placed a comforting hand on yours. “Y/n. Have I ever steered you wrong? I wouldn’t set you up with just anyone if I didn’t think they’d make you happy.”

You gave him a polite smile, internally stirring a new kind of anxiety. “Um, sure. I’ll give it a shot.”

He gave a signature gummy smile. “Great. I’ll text you the details.”

There wasn’t any reason you had to be looking forward to the date. Seungcheol had a completely different plan from what you had in mind when he had plans to talk to you. Nevertheless, you headed to the venue and dressed yourself accordingly. Even if it had to be a date with someone other than the one you wanted, it was Seungcheol who planned it. You were at least going to meet them. You’ll just go on the date, say you’re incompatible, and go back to your normal lives.

The date took place in a middle-in-the road restaurant. Nothing too expensive like an upscale restaurant or cheap like a fast food chain. Seungcheol recommended it. Saying it’s a place you’d like and that your date already enjoys. You fidgeted with your phone in your hand, seated earlier than the appointed time, wanting the date to end as soon as it starts.

The entrance of the restaurant was pushed open, followed by the ring of a bell. You looked up from your phone and recognized his face almost instantly, turning you sour. The individual was seen talking to the hostess, likely asking for a table and you started praying to all the gods that you were wrong about him being your date tonight. Head cowering, you desperately hoped he wouldn’t dare approach your table. Hardly a beat later, you heard a knock at your table.

You looked up from your lap and let out an expression of distaste followed by a sigh. “I really hoped that it wouldn’t be you.”

The man took a seat across from you, an expression matching yours. “That makes two of us.”

You gave an unimpressed grin. “You’re supposed to be the one that he was so excited for me to meet?”

“Oh, like you're such a catch? What was Cheol hyung thinking?” He drank the water already provided at the table.

“How do you know Seongcheol anyway? Surely not by your awful circle of friends.” You crossed your arms, repelled by his sudden appearance.

“Not like it’s any of your business,” he started knowingly, “but he’s my step-brother.”

“Oh, so he pities you,” You retorted, earning a sneer from him, “or he’s sick of you and wants you to be someone else's responsibility.”

He rolled his eyes in response. “Yeah, because you’re great company.”

The man before you was not a simple man but a simpleton. From your sorority girl days, his frat house and your house were inseparable. His girlfriend at the time lived in the same house you did. Unlike the oath all girls of Alpha Sigma Phi recited almost everyday of being a friendly neighbor and role model, she made your stay hell. The guy, being obsessed with his girlfriend, followed her every order, contributing to your leave of the organization.

“What are you even doing here, Chan? What happened to Hana? I thought you two would be off buying matching human souls together.” You comment with a snide smile.

He gave you another hard eye roll. “It wasn’t obvious we broke up. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.”

Interesting. The lap dog had lost his owner, and by the looks of it, he got the shorter end of the stick seeing how bitter he reacted. “Fine, I’ll bite. Why’d you two break up? You were annoyingly perfect together.”

“Well, she thought she’d be perfect with someone else.”

There was a sense of tension when he spoke. He was clearly still shaken up by the end of his past relationship and had trouble getting accustomed to being away from her. To find out the end was caused by Hana’s lack of fidelity makes Chan continuously wonder what he had done wrong in the relationship.

“Wow. I’m almost sorry.”

Chan was quiet, almost as if lost in his own thoughts. “Yeah.”

He had the look of a kicked puppy. As far as you know about him, he was always known as Hana’s loyal boyfriend. She had him wrapped around her always perfectly manicured finger, making him bend at her will. Now he shrunk at even the brief mention of his ex-girlfriend he dedicated years to.

You leaned over at him with sympathetic eyes. “Dude, look. If she cheated on you, she wasn’t a good person to begin with. You’re better off.”

He stared down at his lap, ashamed to meet your eyes. “The last thing I wanted was someone to pity me. Especially by you.”

“Okay, well fuck you too.” You began to get out of your seat, annoyed that you even bothered feeling any other of feeling other than rage for this jerk, and threw your purse over your shoulder.

Your feet left the table and headed towards the nearest exit until a hand wrapped around your wrist, preventing you from taking a step further. You turned to see Chan’s eyes still buried down on his lap, intentionally hiding his vulnerability. His grip was weak and almost lifeless, but it grew determined as he tightened around your wrist.

“I don’t want someone to feel sorry for me, but I do need a distraction. I know you hate me but you could at least give me that. Seongcheol probably did what he could to get us together and I know he'd be really disappointed if I didn't at least have dinner with you after I trapped myself in the house for months. So please...stay.”

You didn’t respond, but you did retreat back to your seat. He meets your eyes, an incoherent expression from his face, as he straightens up in his seat and regains his composure. He tried to paint a more appropriate expression, an attempt to conceal the emotions he’d been walling for who knows how long. You watched him struggle, an almost painful sight to witness, but said nothing. 

“Just keep me company for an hour or two and I’ll leave you alone.” He pleaded.

You crossed your arms, observing the timid creature in front of you, seemingly different from the asshole you knew him to be. “You respect him a lot, huh? Seungcheol’s good to you?”

“He’s my brother, blood or not. I know him. I’m sure he has his reasons why he paired us together.”

“Okay then,” you grabbed the menu left untouched from the table and scanned it’s contents, “Let’s eat shall we.”

You and Chan kept talking to a minimum until after the waitress took your order. He didn’t make too much of an effort to talk, knowing it wouldn’t make much of a difference in his mood. He could not have looked forward to this date more than he already did at this moment. It was enough knowing that his own brother found him pathetic enough to push him into a social situation he wasn’t ready for but it had to be in the same setting with someone from his past.

“So, Seungcheol says you go here often? Any reason why?” You interrupted the silence, knowing what you hated more than small talk was awkward silences.

“We’ve been going to this place since I was twelve,” his fork stirred over his near full plate, “Around the same time our parents got married. It’s his favorite place too.”

You hummed in acknowledgement. “It’s pretty good here. I can see how you like it.”

You were met with more silence, digging your nails in the flesh of your thigh to keep you preoccupied by some sort of sensation even if it was physically painful.

“You guys work together,” Chan managed to breath out, “right?”

You nodded, relieved. “We’re in the same department, we worked closely for a few projects and we got close that way. He said I reminded him of someone, so he even has lunch with me sometimes.”

Chan let out a slight smile. “Sounds like him. He was the youngest before his siblings went off and did their own thing and then got used to taking care of me and my siblings. He knew what it was like to be left out so he didn’t want that to be that way for anyone else.”

“He sounds like a good brother.” You responded, imagining Seungcheol cooking for a bunch of tiny versions of himself.

“He is.” Chan continued to consume his dinner, his mood lightened at the thought of his kind hearted older sibling.

Seungcheol is a good older brother. He may have set Chan up with the worst possible person for the date, but he was a good brother nonetheless. It was true that he’s hardly steer Cahn wrong and maybe this situation didn’t have to fall in the rare category of things going wrong. At least that’s what Chan was hoping for.

“That sounds nice. I was an only child so I never had someone to take care of me besides my parents, but it really would’ve been nice to have one sibling, older or younger.” You cut a piece of dinner with plans of consumption.

“That’s why you like Seongcheol.”

Instead you choked, coughing and pounding your chest as the boy in front of you stared in horror. You grabbed the glass of water in front of you and slid the food down your throat, slowing down your heart rate. Chan concerned looked over at you.

“God, are you okay?”

You frantically nodded, taking deep breaths before you went back to state you were before that incident happened. “I’m fine. Y-you were saying?”

“I was saying, that's probably why you get along with him. Because he’s so nice and unnecessarily nurturing.”

You hummed in agreement, still shaken up. Realizing quickly that Chan likely meant that you liked him around as a friend.

“Okay, that looked like a cliché taken-a-back choking in public if I ever saw one,” From this statement alone, Chan realized he was watching too many romcoms alone by himself, “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

You froze. It's your turn to stare down at your lap. There was no way you were going to face the reality in front of you willingly without a fight. “Please don’t tell him. I’m embarrassed as is.”

“Why the hell did you say you’d go on this stupid date?”

You shut your eyes, groaning uncomfortably, “Can you not lecture me right now?”

“You like him, why would you say yes to a date he planned for you and someone else?”

You sighed, “Yes, I like him and yes I said I’d go on this date, but can you blame me. You know first hand how much you don’t want to disappoint Seungcheol.”

It was the first time you admitted it to another person. Honestly, It was a relief hearing it in out loud. You didn’t have any close friends that stuck around until the one person that talked to you frequently was the one person you couldn’t admit your feelings to.

“Do you want my help?”

You met his eyes, expecting some sort of public mocking but was met with sincerity. You sensed honesty in his eyes and that was an expression you were quite familiar with. It was a look that you saw a lot in Seungcheol. They may not be biologically related, but Chan exhibited a lot more of Seungcheol than you expected to see.

“Why would you help me?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have something in exchange.” He admitted.

“Okay, What do you want?” You eyed him suspiciously.

He grinned. “You’re familiar with Hana.”

You glared back at him, confused. “No. There’s no way you want to get back with her after she cheated.”

“More like I wanna get back at her,” he corrected, “Show her that she'll really regret letting me go.”

Intrigued, you urged him to continue. “How exactly?”

“You be my girlfriend for the holidays,” he stated plainly, “We take cute pictures for Instagram for her to see and get her jealous to the point she regrets ever cheating on me.”

“This is pretty petty. Even for you.”

“I’m not hearing a no.” He pointed out.

“What makes you think she’ll be convinced we’re together?”

He gave you a knowing smile. “She’ll believe, trust me. Plus I know there’s nothing more infuriating than seeing your ex with someone she knows, especially someone she hates.”

“Okay, wait a minute. I’ve never understood this. Why does she hate me? I gave her no reason to.”

Hana was cruel to you beyond belief, constantly making your residential life a personal hell with no break. You can’t pinpoint any reason that would motivate her that would cause her to torture you to the point of forcing you to leave. Chan may have been a puppet, but Hana was the puppet master with the strings, calculating every move she makes before she makes it.

Chan had to choose his words carefully. He had to speak in a way that didn’t reveal too much. “It wasn’t something so much you did, but how you made her feel. She’s a very...competitive person.”

You continued to be confused. “Okay, then why do you hate me?”

“I don’t...If anything I’m sorry things happened the way they did.”

You hardly had a long enough conversation to know or understand Chan, but he seemed to have some remorse for the things he’s done in the past. You weren’t sure how you felt seeing someone you thought one way turn to this completely empathetic person. It was gonna take a lot more than a guilty conscience for you to completely forgive him, but that didn’t matter at the moment. He was willing to help you and he owed you that much.

“We’ll then. That just means you have a hell of a debt to pay then.”

“Is that a yes then?” His eyebrow quirked up.

“If I have any chance with Seungcheol, you’re my best bet, but just how are we going to eventually end things when I get him to actually want to be with me?”

He shrugged, “We’ll just say we were in the talking stages and found that we were better off friends. Simple as that.”

You nodded, hearing the plan all come together. “So how do we start?”

“We can start by planning our next date.”

After the first date, you and Chan had kept in contact. Numbers were exchanged that day and you had to make sure the contact names matched up. Couples always had annoyingly cute matching nicknames for each other and that was a great start. You both agreed it would be best that you’d kept each other updated on important personal details that would make the relationship look more realistic.

It’s been a week since then and you have managed to avoid Seungcheol with excuses of being busy. Although disappointed wanting to hear the details of your date, he understandably left you alone. It was hard to see him walking away from you, but you head to deal with this matter of your feelings alone this time, hopefully with some of Chan’s help.

You occupied those empty times of day with planning. You managed to get lost in Chan’s background, stunned with all the new kind of information you found. Interesting enough, he seemed to be doing really well. After graduating, his connections worked out as he found himself working as real estate agent for one of the finest real estate companies in the country making revenue up to $3.2 billion in sales as of this year as mentioned in Forbes magazine for this month as the one of the fastest growing new companies.

You were impressed. You really didn’t know much about Chan besides what you learned from attending the same college. He came far for someone in your peer group that mainly consisted of long-term students, drop outs, or the rare young adult professionals that’s set out for success. You were learning a lot about Chan and overwhelming fast.

“Why real estate? All you need is a license.”

Chan laid sprawled out on your couch with his phone, playing a game on his phone as he stuffed himself with your pantry snacks. “Real estate gave me the time to do my hobbies, like working out or reading. I chose my hours and because I’m good at my job, I didn’t have much to worry about, like working consistently.”

You nodded in respect, understanding where he was coming from. Opposite to him, you sat crouched over to look at your laptop and took notes.

“You majored in dance.”

“I also minored in business administration.” He added.

You were flabbergasted. “How did the school board even approve your curriculum?”

“It’s called being part of a major fraternity house and having a 3.8 GPA. Plus, colleges love smart, creative people.” he answered with a cheeky grin.

You rolled your eyes at his pretentious words, continuing to scan through his list of personal information. “So why exactly did you major in dance?”

“Like everyone else, I had dreams too, ok.” he admitted.

It was once again the weekend and between texting each other details back and forth, you two decided to have your next ‘date’ in your house to discuss the details of your plan, courtesy of the awful weather forecasted that day. You suggested your apartment for the time being, not thinking much of it, and Chan didn’t seem to mind much either. It was less of a clean up on his end. Luckily he lived so close by he didn’t find it a hassle to come over.

“You’re one to talk,” He retorted, “Who's gonna believe you were Prom Queen?”

You sighed, involuntarily reliving the embarrassing memory. “I was prom queen. It was a pity vote. It was the same year I tore my ACL trying out for cheerleading.”

He cringed. “Oh, word? Sorry.”

You pressed your lips in a firm line. “It was the first and last time I tried to join anything active. It was my senior year and I needed diversity in my resume. I didn’t make the team or to the exit alone, but it made a hell of a paper though.”

Chan looked over at you dubiously from his position on the couch. “No offense, but how did that make it as a paper? People get sports injuries all the time.”

“You ever embarrass yourself in front of half the school and have it broadcasted to everyone you know? I lived in a small town, it was even on the local news.” You spoke in a monotone voice, staring off into nothing as if you were already dead.

Chan winched on your behalf. “At least there was a prom king right?”

“Yeah, he drank the spiked punch and threw up on my shoes.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” His cheeks burning from the second hand embarrassment.

You thought to yourself briefly, wondering why you were telling him all this. It’s not like he was close to you in that way, nor did you have the history that permitted you this kind of behavior towards him. Ever since you confessed to him your feelings for his brother, it made it easier to tell him these kinds of things, like he was taking Seungcheol’s place for the time being.

“Hmm, I guess I kind of liked the idea of having someone to tell this to. I never really had friends before, and the one friend I do have, I happened to like. He’s  like a double edge sword. So, it’s kind of nice to just get to talk without thinking about the consequences. I don’t feel so alone.”

Chan probably hasn’t felt more sorry for someone until meeting you recently. If he has already been feeling guilty these past years for bullying you in your late teens, imagine him learning that he was kicking someone that was already down. He was surprised by his actions even then, but he was so blinded by love, he felt it didn’t matter what happened as long as things turned right for him he supposed. What a waste that all was.

“Damn, I’m sorry.”

You looked over at the man suddenly straightening up his posture and placing his phone on the coffee table. Chan looked over at you with warm eyes. “I guess I didn’t make it any better, did I?”

“If anything, you kind of did.”

His eyes fixed in confusion, tilting his head to the side, confused what you mean.

“Well,” you softly said, hugging your throw pillow as you grew tired, “You’re here now. Of course, I don’t completely forgive you, after all you were awful, but things are nice. At least for now.”

He nodded politely, a small smile on his face. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven, you were right about that, but he’s hoping one day you will. And by that time, he would’ve made it up to you. You were a reasonable person, Chan thought. You were someone that Seungcheol hyung should’ve definitely noticed by now. He wondered why that was yet the case.

You felt as if you were drifting, enveloped by the warmth of your own fatigue. You had been working all day and here you were back on a screen, your eyelids sinking despite the bright document window. You yawned, catching Chan’s attention, and your body started to slumped over the couch in an all too comfortable position. You tried to manage staying awake, but to no avail, you eventually succumbed to desire and soft, sleepy sighs could be heard.

Chan’s face softened, noticing your dreamy state. He grabbed the nearby throw blanket and spread it across your body. You cuddled towards the warm, involuntarily smiling. He chuckled, silently admiring how cute you can be when you’re quiet. You had a nice smile, he thought, it was refreshing considering you were frowning or apathetically glazing in his direction the majority of the time, even now. It made him curious about the life you lived.

He found himself wandering about your home, gradually noticing the little trinkets that you kept around. One in particular was a picture of you and your family. You, at the time, were the typical adolescent with the acne and awkward braces to match. You had the look of someone that didn’t want to be in the photo, but of course you had to. You were the golden only child to a loving family after all.

He suppressed his own laughter, reminded of his own teenage years. He remembered wanting nothing more than to avoid all kinds of family photos, fearing pictures getting out of his own embarrassing history of bad haircuts and thick glasses. He regretted his actions much later on when he realized how jealous he got when his younger siblings started getting more attention. You, however, had that much of a different upbringing. Having no siblings and a childhood where you didn’t have many friends must’ve been really hard on you. His heart sank once again that night for you.

“How lonely.”

“Who’s lonely?”

You rose from your nap, disturbed by rustling. You blinked through your tired eyes and they landed on the photo frame in Chan’s hands. Your eyes widened and you immediately ran in his direction. The man retaliated by bringing the frame up in the air, far from your reach. The moment you moved in use of the top of your toes, he followed, making it harder for you to get any advantage.

“Come on, Chan. You know that’s not yours!”

“It’s normal for me to want to know what my girlfriend looked like before I met her,” He teased.

You felt yourself slip from your rug beneath your feet. Before you could fall backward, Chan managed to catch you up with a hand around your torso, the other clutching the picture frame. He pulled you in, chest to chest, as you met his worried eyes. You clutched against his shirt, gulping at the sight of his face suddenly so close.

“I-I told you to give it, d-didn’t I?”

His concern faded as he watched your face erupt a bright hue. “Your face is really red.”

“Just put it back where you found it.” You urged him.

He swung the picture over your heads, insisted of having control, all while still embracing you in full form, “Why are you so scared about me finding an old picture of you?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“What about it is embarrassing?” He prodded.

“You’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, and? It’s cute.”

“Whatever.” You make another attempt to grab it from Chan, hopefully getting a better advantage, but to no avail, he was bigger and stronger than you. His grip is stronger against your body, your face too close for comfort.

“Let go, Chan.”

His tongue poked tauntingly out of the corner of his lips. “You let go first, Y/n.”

You could feel breath hit your lips. You’d be lying if you said the subtle movement didn’t make your heart skip a beat. Chan was admittedly an attractive man. It made you think back in college before you formally met him how you’d occasionally observed him when he happened to be nearby. He was popular, as if that wasn’t obvious, and had this unique look that allured the gazes of others. His 24/7 bedroom eyes were extraordinarily captivating, while that boyish smile had others falling at his feet, of course you were gonna look at him. Chan just had that effect on people.

“You realize you have no effect on me.” You lied through your teeth.

He tilted his head curiously, quickly seeing through your ruse. “Your eyes say otherwise.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Whatever you think they’re saying, I’m sure you're wrong.”

“Oh, yeah?”

His nose ghosted over yours. His digits playfully traced over your arm. He had a sweet smile on his face that conveyed anything but naivety. “And if I kiss you right here, you don’t think you’ll kiss back?”

Your heart beat heightened and felt the slightest tension form in the secrecy of your undergarments. Chan was either very good at getting you aroused, or maybe you were reacting this way in response to the neglect of your personal sex life. Either way, you weren’t falling for whatever he had planned.

“Unlike you, I have self control.” You rebutted.

“Want to test that?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing him away from you. You had enough going on as is, the last thing you needed was a hot guy on the rebound down your pants when you’re busy thinking about his brother. “Keep the goddamn photo for all I care.”

He giggled. “Don’t pretend like you weren’t tempted.”

You subtly fumed in his direction, annoyed at how quickly he almost got you to flip like that. “I need food, I’m hungry.”

“I bet you are.”

You've both been meeting like that every few days, occasionally getting cheap dinner. His effortlessly flirting had no end, him insisting this was necessary for you to act realistically affectionate in public situations. You were now getting used to his company and in turn getting less uncomfortable with Seungcheol.

“Are you ready to talk to me again?”

He approached you with an abundance of food and took the empty office chair next to yours.

You smiled back at the older man with tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Cheol. A lot has been going on.”

“I bet,” he chuckled, “I hear you and Chan are spending a lot more time together.”

You nodded, “He now has full access to my snack stash since finding it, but yeah, we have.”

Seungcheol chuckled at your honesty and handed you a wrapped sandwich he retrieved from the cafeteria. “It’s chicken club, your favorite.”

“Thanks,” you accepted it graciously and unwrapped it to take a bite.

He scooted his chair close to you and he draped his arm over your shoulders, “He is treating you well, I bet?”

You contemplate the words that describe Chan appropriately, “Chan’s a good guy, but for now we’re just feeling things out.”

You felt bad with how you were treating Seungcheol. You never wanted to keep him out of loop like you were doing now, but this time it was necessary. If it wasn’t for Chan's incessant spiritual presence keeping your mind at ease, it would’ve been a lot harder with encountering his brother. You had liked him that much after all.

“I’m glad you’re giving it a chance.”

He left you your sandwich and those words to ponder on. They were seemingly innocent enough, but the way they were said made you believe they carried more weight than you originally perceived. You tried paying it no mind, but like how Seungcheol is, he had a way of making things happen.

There was another night of planning with Chan and on the menu today was Chinese. It was probably the fifth night and he has made himself comfortable in your home to the point of him knowing where things are when he needs them. You've been avoiding sitting close to him, not wanting the same mistake of you finding Lee Chan attractive while in the same proximity as you. He is constantly poking and prodding you to get some sort of reaction, but you planned on staying resilient.

You forked around your chow mein, finding relief in the blissful bites of msg, forgetting all your problems at that moment. Chan, not too far from you at your dining table for two, sneaked quick peaks at you as he indulged in his own meal.

“I needed this.” You exclaimed.

“I thought you cooked. Seungcheol said you cooked.” He jabbed lightheartedly.

“Like I’d let you anywhere near my good produce.”

Chan gave you a sly smile. “Is that’s euphemism, because I could’ve sworn—“

“Shut up.”

Chan let out a burst of hearty laughter, being careful of swallowing his beef and broccoli. “It’s so fun teasing you.”

You swallowed the rest of your dinner and proceeded to grab a drink from the fridge. “You thirsty?”

Chan subdued his laughter enough to answer in that playful tone. “For you?”

“For a drink, jerk.”

“A sprite if you have one.” He erupted in laughter once again.

You tossed a can to him and cracked open yours before landing on the couch. He cleaned up after you both, soon tasting the refreshing citrus flavors and taking a seat parallel to you. You simultaneously drink, content sounds leaving both your lips. Chan glanced over at you, your expression blank and empty.

“You know you’re gonna have to get used to me flirting with you. I am going to be your boyfriend for the holidays.”

“Yeah, well save for Hana. I’m sure she’ll throw a fit.”

His smile died out completely. His face drained of any leftover energy he had that night. “Uh, yeah. Right. Hana.”

You look back at him, apologetic for bringing her up. You place your drink aside and sit up from your spot. “It’s why you’re here, remember? To prove to her how much better you’re doing without her.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just,” he ran his hand through his undone hair, “I was finally starting to forget her. I’m being fucking stupid.”

You approached him, placing your arms on either side of his shoulders. You didn’t have much experience comforting others but you knew what could comfort you. You proceeded to leave soft pats on either of his shoulders, attempting to regulate the heavy beating in his heart. He leaned in to your chest, fluid brimming his eyes. Regardless of the type of heartbreak, heartbreak is heartbreak. Loving a person once is enough to know understand the pain.

“It’s okay to miss her,” You reassured, “but it’s not okay to feel like shit when you do because we both know it’s not worth it, right?”

He meekly met your eyes. You were staring at him as if there was love in your eyes and he choked up at the sight, seeing something like it for the first time. “Are you sure?”

“Of course.. You’re Lee fucking Chan. Fucking act like it.” Despite your harsh language, your voice was soft and made the man before you stare back at you in awe, tears still in his eyes.

You were typically on the other end of this kind of conversation, but Chan needed it more than you do right now. You had plenty of practice after all.

“What does that even mean?” He asked, choking on his words.

“It means whatever the fuck you want it to mean.”

He harshly brushed the tears out of his face to view you more clearly. Despite all you’ve gone through, you somehow still knew how to put on a brave face. It was a foreign sight, but not at all bad in Chan’s eyes. He didn’t expect to cry tonight, nor did he predict how close he’d be getting to you tonight. After all, all you did with him through text was argue with him over the pettiest details and now he was wondering what was it that made your lips so pretty the way they do.

“Y/n.”

“Are you feeling better, Chan?”

No, he wasn’t. He was emotionally overwhelmed between his ex-girlfriend still somehow having an effect on his well-being and you being the prettiest person he’s ever seen at the dead of night after eating an abundance of greasy food. He was confused if anything. Caught in the moment, perhaps, but he was sure the one prominent thing he had on his mind right now.

“Y/n. Can I kiss you?”

You almost drew back, but instead asked, “Why?”

“For a few seconds…to check something.”

“Chan, I don’t know.” You answered.

He was a vulnerable man if you’ve ever seen one. It didn't matter how good looking he looked even when crying, or how soft he spoke asking you for permission for something less than modest as kissing. He was still hung up on Hana. He’s only feeling estranged right now and you were the next best thing available.

“Please. I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t.”

You could see the desperation in his eyes. Then again at the same time, they were unreadable, as if he himself were lost in his own rollercoaster of emotions. You were stuck between a rock and a very hard place. Between wanting to be a decent person and only comforting Chan the normal way, or giving in to both your desire to connect the way lovers do. In the end, you nodded, late in realizing your body had already made the decision for you.

Chan’s head tilted to the side and you watched as both his eyes fluttered shut before meeting your lips. Your eyes closed at the sensation of his lips hugging around yours, his hands embracing your sides. You tried so hard not to kiss back, but there was just something about Chan that made you melt at his touch. Your hands fell over loosely around his neck. Chan was flushed as the touch of someone new, as if he was discovering the warm sensation of pure intimacy all over again. His hands found their way on your hips and lifted you up to have you straddling his lap, not breaking the kiss for even a second. Your body is hot and indescribable against him.

You were lost with no way to escape. You couldn't stop kissing him if you even tried. You cupped his face, deepening the overwhelming taste. His arms enveloped your body like a blanket. His hands slipping into the locks of your hair, feeling how soft it was against his fingers. The one reoccurring though your head in this moment has his lips. It’s like they were make for you, brilliantly molded to fit yours. He was great at that. He was really great it. The built up tension in your thighs had you grinding against his crotch, almost hypnotized.

You halted your exploration, too stunned to move forward the moment a moan leaves his lips. You parted from him abruptly, noticing how long you may have indulged in something other than dinner tonight. Chan staggered from your sudden release, also realizing how far you both got without stopping until now.

You let out a slight cough. Your body is still flat against his, now gaining balance from the couch. You found it difficult to meet his eye, slightly embarrassed at your excitement. “D-did you figure that t-thing out?”

“Uh, yeah. We should be able to convince her.”

He could only speak of excuses. He was mainly focused on how flustered you look, but he didn't have the energy to taunt you the way he normally does. His gaze fixated on your lips that were swollen from his and he could help be slightly proud.

“Right, this was good,” You nodded quickly, “Very convincing. Hana won’t know what hit her.”

You decided it was the time for the night to end. You walked him to the door and Chan profusely apologized for letting the kiss last longer than it should’ve. You give him the benefit of the doubt, his actions no doubt were caused by his current mental state and the heat of the moment that you also fell victim to.

“Just remember to have half that energy for the wedding.” You mentioned jokingly.

The first public outing was going to be at the wedding at a friend of a friend. When Chan received the invite at the time, he was still in his relationship and since he and Hana. Originally they’d rsvp that they’d have no plus ones since they’d be going together, but that was no longer the case.

“Yeah, right, the wedding. I’ll text you what I’ll be wearing that day so we can match.” He awkwardly laughed.

You both lingered at the door, reluctant on goodbyes after having such an event happen unexpectedly.

“Bye, Chan. Get home safe.”

“You too—I mean, um, stay safe…in your own home. Stranger danger…Oh right, we’re like 25. We should know that by now.”

You watched as he stumbled over his words, chuckling at every word that slipped clumsily from his mouth. “Okay, Chan. I will.”

Before you could close the door, his hand stopped at the wood. His head dipped one last time for a chaste liplock. You instinctively grasped at his shirt as he pressed a hand against the small of your back. He lets you go, savoring the last few moments before he's forced to leave. “Sorry, I just thought I’d see if any more practice was necessary. We’re good.”

He lifted two thumbs up and you laughed enough to the point you had to force yourself to close the door on him. You laid back flat on the door, mentally facepalming yourself for your actions tonight.