#seojunws

A harsh crinkle formed in between Chorong’s brow the longer she stared at the clock. Her gaze flickered between the digital time on her phone and the ticking one hanging on the wall. There was no need to describe how out of place she felt within the walls of a company building she didn’t belong to. Nothing like discomfort, but she felt the eyes on her, speculating whether they knew her face or not. She lingered around the cafeteria for as long as she could get away with. After all, practicing for dance covers with her YS trainee friend built up quite the appetite. ( Was it unfair of her? To indulge while the others were on diets? )

The phone in her other hand buzzed with a message that quickly prompted a disappointed pout. No amount of cutesy stickers and  She mumbled under her breath as she typed a reply to her friend. Something along the lines of: I can’t believe you ditched me. You’re dead to me for a whole day.

With an exasperated sigh, she drifted toward the entrance, bag of snacks already open for the long journey back to her dorms that she knew she would have. Or, what she thought was the entrance. Yuseong’s building was far bigger than Wishbone’s ever could be. One had to wonder if they purposely built a maze of hallways to deter trainees from getting too off track. ( And potentially trapping ones from other companies so they would be assimilated into the Borg called YS Entertainment. )

        people have a tendency to fill in the gaps of what they don’t know with what is familiar to them━seoyul remembers that, back in school, the way people would often carelessly make guesses about her family and the kind of childhood she had. they would tell her that she must have been born with it, that she must have gotten her sweet and thoughtful nature from her mother, or that she must have been brought up well. it’s what they’re familiar with, the image of a happy family and an endlessly adored child. though they were never too far off, because it does run in her blood━except it’s the greed, the avarice, the duplicity. mother is the predecessor to all the tricks seoyul has up her sleeves; it’s why father left. only that seoyul has got her grasp wrapped around the art of subterfuge more tightly than her mother ever did, but even that is the culmination of having spent all those years by her mother’s side developing a discerning sense of what worked and what didn’t.

        all that is to say, she knows exactly when her mother is lying. it’s etched deep in her bones, especially that particular switch of tone her mother artfully employs whenever she’s being dishonest again. ( and there’s no reason she wouldn’t pick up on it, because it’s what she does too. ) so when their mother calls to say there’s an emergency and that they need to go home, seoyul barely spared a thought before saying no. but between the two min siblings, seojun had always been the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed one. too naive, some might call it. or, the more unromantic way of saying it, too wet behind the ears. the wavering flicker of irresolution that had crept into her brother’s gaze drew a sigh from her, and she knew, in that moment, that they were definitely going to make the wasted trip back home.

        of course, she could have just stood her ground, but knowing her brother, seoyul is quite sure that seojun would have just gone on his own anyway. and what kind of sister would she be if she just threw him to the wolves like that? ( or, rather, wolf. ) fast forward a few hours later, and the pair have abandoned their original plans of going to that new cafe all over instagram on seojun’s free day, only to come back to the dingy apartment they’ve spent more than enough of their lives at. in fact, seoyul’s quite sure she wouldn’t feel even a shred of regret if she never came back here again. “seojun, wait━are you sure you want to go in there? it’s not too late to back out,” the vulnerability in her tone irks even herself, and when she speaks again it’s through gritted teeth. “you know she’s never up to any good, it’s not like this time is going to be any different.”

kiha should've seen this disaster from thousands miles away. he should've connected that his public image is too close to seojun's for them to be not be paired up together even if they're not on the same group. he should've known that the moment they were put to be cute together in front of the camera that one time, when kiha decided to play dangerously into friendly bickering with seojun that they both know deep down is anything but friendly that the fans would eat it up as them having a tom and jerry relationship. he should've known that the fans would want them together in every and any opportunity that arrives.

so here they are— decorating a cake together for valentine's day during a vlive and once again kiha is obligated to play much nicer than he feels like being with seojun.

to be fair it isn't like the phoenix member completely dislikes seojun, not really. technically the other has done nothing wrong towards kiha. even during their passive aggressive and backhanded exchanges with each other but he can't help but feel a iffy about how close he acts around hyeon and how hyeon reacts to that closeness. it's very cliche but kiha is as protective of the younger as he'd be of a little brother and he doesn't think seojun would be a good choice for him — of course that ultimately he'd accept whatever choice that hyeon makes, won't be that annoying and controlling kind of friend that is going to shame the other for whoever he decides to be with, but that doesn't mean he'll be necessarily happy about it, but he supposes that if that'd make hyeon happy then welp. and it surely doesn't help that seojun seems to have catch on that kiha isn't exactly fond of him and acts accordingly... to annoy kiha of course.

but they're on camera in one of yuseong practice rooms with everything they need to decorate the cake in front of them, one staff member staying behind the camera just to make sure that everything will go smoothly — and possibly to keep them in check just in case even if it's unheard of he and seojun to do anything scandalous.

"well, since we're here and it's valentine's day so i'm feeling a little generous." kiha speaks up while still focusing on the small heart he's trying to cut from chocolate, his words with a hint of playful arrogance that he's sure feeds on the idea that he and seojun get along well enough that the other won't feel offended by it. "is there anything you'd like to ask? i'm your senior so the least i could do is offer some advice." he asks and only then looks up. they might as well have some sort of conversation going, especially when they're supposed to spend what? an hour? something like that, he remembers the staff saying.

Minho couldn’t help but lean forward, brown eyes wide as he stared at the rows and rows of neatly organized make up. They wouldn’t be touching most of it, but he still liked to look. Each little circle of eyeshadow looked like a cookie, firmly pressed together in colorful shades. Like a dyed nilla wafer. 

They looked like they’d taste good, like toothpaste. He almost leaned in to dip a finger onto a palette, if only to see the peachy tones stain the pads of his fingers. He thought it’d look quite pretty. Like the aftermath of coloring with pastels. The merry-go-round of thoughts comes to a halt when he hears a familiar voice floating across the waiting room. 

Seojun’s little face is smiling cutely, piling on compliments to the members of crescent who have come back from the dry rehearsal. Almost as quickly as he stood up to do so, he sat back down in front of the mirrors next to Minho, facade dropping. 

It used to be quite unnoticeable; Seojun’s ability to carry around and wear a mask was almost seamless. Almost. Once noticed though, Minho couldn’t see anything but the little fractures and gaps, little bits and pieces Seojun hadn’t managed to cover up. It’s still strange now, the creeping feeling like he was watching a horror movie after midnight, to see how quickly the brightly lit eyes and wide, pink lipped smile dropped into a dull, bored expression. Minho couldn’t help but frown in response. As much as he liked the other members, as much as the excitement of performing on stage as a back up dancer lifted him up like a balloon, the reminder of Seojun’s inability to be a real human person pushed the joy off a cliff into the deep, dark depths below. He spoke before he could stop himself, words tumbling out bluntly. 

“It must be exhausting to pretend to be nice.” 

      sungjae took advantage of his free days. he didn’t in the beginning, but he’d realized soon enough that if he worked himself that EXTREME, he would burn out. usually, he had plans with the members or old school friends, but for once, the whole day was empty. he’d already spent the majority of it catching up on a much anticipated game that came out, but he couldn’t game all day...despite his hearts desires. so he decided to take a walk to one of his favorite cafes to treat himself to a boba tea. he walked out the back of the company building. even if he was a trainee, he knew there were curious and prying everywhere. turning around the corner, pulling his jacket around him properly, he was first met with the smell of smoke. it was all too familiar. considering the pressure they all dealt with, it became an obvious stress relief for some. still...he looked over the edge, eyes widening at who he caught. 

     somewhat surprised, a brow raises is slight disbelief. someone wants to be in my position?! a knuckle moving to apply pressure against his temple, features now forming a slight frown as he sat back on his seat. he couldn’t imagine having anyone wanting to be in his position, besides from the odd ball, chorong. who he has heard through the grapevine, was attempting to replace him as the cutest maknae and he finds it slightly horrifying. he lets out a sigh, a mixture of confusion and deep thought. “maybe just... don’t... be in my position? instead, i’d recommend being in ceo yoo’s position. that’d be the fucking life.” his shoulders move to shrug lazily, his response was a complete cop out and a part of him acknowledges that to be where he is, is such an honour, such a privilege that should not be simply cast aside. but he couldn’t help it, some things that came with being where he is now, came with such large sacrifices and consequences, that now, he hardly thinks is worth being crescent’s maknae. 

     he takes moment to let the question marinate, there was two ways he could go about answering it. one route, being that you should always stick to your true self. do not let anyone influence you otherwise, make sure you don’t let the lines of your own identity blur into the expectations that are laid out in front of you, that are expected from you. never forfeit or compromise for anything less than what you want. but then again, things haven’t exactly worked out for him. 

     on the other hand, the second route, would encompass all the right things he was told to do by the industry. put your best smile on, fake it if you must. put your best foot forward, even if every bone in your toes are shattered. put the best version of yourself, and nothing less than, out there. even if every single part of your soul is screaming to be saved. put your best manners on, even when faced with scrutiny over something so tedious and stupid. and in the face of adversity, you are expected to beg on your knees for forgiveness, even if it means, going against your own beliefs and moral compass. 

headcanon meme — not accepting !!

"i guess we're going with seconds now since i've answered this before." kiha says surprisingly in a good mood considering it's seojun who is giving him the question.

it's a little hard to think about a second least favorite when cherry bomb was such an impact for kiha and the only song that, during his lowest time when he was tired and stressed — and for the record he's not proud of this — he even cried because he didn't want to perform it anymore, even during practice he was scolded more than usual because the dance trainer didn't think he was putting himself in it enough even if during the performances kiha managed to pull it off just fine (he's a professional after all).

"maybe very nice as a least favorite." he finally gives an answer after some thought even though he still looks like he's considering it. "i love the song and the concept was fun, but the choreograph was a nightmare especially when we haven't debuted yet and there was also—" kiha hesitates, because there was also the predebut show and for kiha personally he couldn't enjoy that era fully because that reality show didn't put himself in a good spot, especially mentally, but he's not about to tell seojun this from all the people. "other things," he doesn't care that he's being vague, too vague to not raise some suspicion even if his tone is almost apathetic since it's so casual. "that sort of messed it up for me personally."

"right, now second favorite." kiha's tone changes completely, getting a little chirpier and he even lightly claps his hands once. "burn it up. the song is so good and i remember having a lot of fun with the choreography. the outfits and concept in general were just on point. it was a very nice era." he ends with a soft sigh, especially when he remembers that burn it up was probably his small mercy before cherry bomb.