#sent with pixie dust

I am so sorry it took so long to answer but I have spent the last few days thinking of this answer. For me Jennifer Morrison leaving and the possibility of OUAT being over hurts in way that I needed time to process. 

Here is the thing I understand as that Jennifer Morrison wants to move on from Emma because one she feels with the story she was presented that it has come to an end, even if we don’t agree and that she wants to try her hands at new projects. It is human nature to want to try something new when the opportunity presents itself. Even with this decision I will still adore Jennifer Morrison and be ever so grateful for her bringing Emma Swan to life. If it weren’t for Emma and Captain Swan I wouldn’t have made so many good friends. Friends that I would be lost without in this world. 

The possibility of the show cancelling without giving us any notice is in the wise words of @musingsfrommymessymind a break up. Out of nowhere this person we love and trust decides they are over with no warning. I do feel like the least ABC could’ve done was tell us at the start of the season so we could be prepared but in all fairness they may not have known. All we knew was we were getting a reboot. We all assumed the reboot would give us a new story that would contain Emma because after all OUAT is the story of Emma Swan. At this moment I don’t know if I would even watch the possible season 7. I may give it a look but honestly there is a huge chance that Sunday may be the last episode for me. That breaks my heart more that you know. I’m not going to lie, I wish ABC would have found a way to work with Jennifer Morrison to maybe get her to do more for the possible season 7 or worked out a different reboot idea or hell given her and the show a proper send off because it would have not only been the right thing by he but the fans. The thing is though we don’t know all the details or what went on behind closed doors so all this might just be wishful thinking. 

I have been here since the moment Killian and Emma laid eyes on each other. I was here when it was just like 10 wonderful and incredible people that know how much they mean to me and a few of us lurkers. I stumbled across the CS ship and lived in the tag they created. I stalked their blogs and was too afraid to speak to them but then one day I did and wrote meta and the next thing I know I was calling them friend and sister. You see for me, losing OUAT is losing my last connection to a shipmate that became my sister, Adriane or as many of you know her as @sheriffswan. It hurts because I lose the images that would flood my mind of the things Adriane would say as she watched OUAT on Sundays. I know many of you understand this feeling because you wonder what happens to the friendships and connections I have made. These are the people that helped me through the bad, cheered me on through the good and shared in my fangirling. 

OUAT for many of us is not just some show. It gave us a family and hope. It saved our lives in ways we are now just understanding with the possibility of it ending. I am beyond grateful for OUAT for showing me that hope exists in the darkest of days. I could not say thank you enough to Jennifer Morrison for showing me a woman can be broken and vulnerable but strong and with the help of love in the form of family, friends and a partner you can fix yourself and be EVERYTHING that is hiding deep down.

CS was life for her. Emma was her. Adriane connect so deeply to Emma. Her tag for Emma was she will be loved and later she is loved. 

That’s exactly it my shy CS grandma. This show is about love and hope. That we all get a fairy tale ending when we fight for it. We need to put aside our opinions and focus on CS as a ship heading toward a beautiful ending of one chapter and beginning to the next. 

You don’t make Emma the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming for no reason. That is the original OTP or Fairy Tales. Adam and Eddy literally gave us the original Fairy Tale and the Modern Fairy Tale when they gave us CS and Snowing. It is the greatest gift ever. We see love and hope the Old School way AND the New School Way.

Aww another CS grandma. You have to tell me who you are. I swear I won’t tell anyone.

I remember being called cancer and being kicked out the fandom. I remember it all. Those were horrible times and I am so happy we endured it, became a CS family and in the end are getting a CS wedding to celebrate

For me this wedding is bittersweet. I am beyond excited. I can’t even explain how excited I am. Yet I have cried because the one person I know who would’ve loved the seeing get married, Adriane, isn’t here. That’s hard for me and to be honest I think I am more excited just about a wedding than I am to the events or what actually goes down. For all we know it’s this huge elaborate thing and at the last minute it is stopped because of a big bad and then we later get this time wedding on the Jolly Roger with just family. For all we know we see Emma’s Fairy Tale wedding because she is ok with it. Either way I don’t mind and if other’s do that is perfectly fine. We are all entitled to our opinions and feelings. What hurts is people attacking others for feeling a certain way. For a ship that has gone through hell and back we shouldn’t behave that way. Be happy or upset about the wedding. You have EVERY RIGHT to be. No one has the right to tell anyone how they should feel.

I guess for me I see it as what would Adriane say about it and I know deep down she would say that she is happy because Emma is so loved and she found her home in Killian and was now making a permanent home with him. Oh and that Emma was having the family Regina robbed from her and it was Killian who fought alongside her to give it to her. 

I remember nonnie. There was no way I could ever forget. There are days in your life, no matter how old you get, that never go away. For me, Adriane’s birthday is one of them. I woke up this morning and wanted nothing more than to grab my phone and message “Happy Birthday to worlds greatest friend, loving person and little sister!” but I remembered I couldn’t and got up for the day. 

The only way I have gotten through the day is thinking of this story I came up with when she first died. I needed it to explain why she was gone. I needed to see her as angel who had fallen and each wing in a different location. One with her soulmate best friend and me, her “big sister”. I had to remind myself her best friend mended her broken wing with unconditional friendship, understanding and love while Adriane taught her best friend the power of a true friend can push you to accomplish anything. I had the wing that was mended by the love of a sister and all it entailed. Compassion, support and pride. In turn she taught me to always have hope and never give up. I tell myself that over the years we were blessed with her as we mended the wings we didn’t know that we would be the ones to send her home. Then one day when she had reached this beautiful level of happiness because she did. Oh in her last days she was so happy where her life was. Once those wings were all fixed and she had given and taken all she could she left us. 

We cry and mourn and beg it’s all a lie but in the end we realize we got to love Adriane like no other. She taught us a love and lesson that will forever be fixed in us. She taught it to us as a friend and a shipmate. Adriane was the true embodiment of love and hope. No one believed in it like her. Hell she we saw it in the way she loved Emma Swan.