#senseless scrawls

(How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship?)

How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship?

How the hell was I supposed to steer this ship?

It was an expensive mistake

You can’t say you’re sorry and it’s over

I was given a body that is falling apart

My house is falling apart

And I was given a mind that can't control itself

(And what about the pain I’m in right now?)

And I was given a ship that can't steer itself

(And what about a vacation?)

And what about a vacation to feel good?

My horse broke his back and left me here

And how was I supposed to know?

And God won’t forgive me

And you won’t forgive me

Not unless I open up my heart

And how am I supposed to do that

When I go to this same room every night

And sleep in the same bed every night?

The same fucking bed

With the red comforter with the white stripes

And the yellow ceiling light that makes me feel like I’m dying

This sea is too familiar

How many nights have I drowned here?

How many times have I drowned?