#semifacetious

and she’s like super annoyed so she’s like ‘FUCK YOU. NOW I’M GONNA WRITE A SEQUEL. HAVE FUN IN HELL (michigan),” then turns to the divine being like ‘WHICH WILL BE SET IN THE DISTANT FUTURE. HOW’S THAT FOR CREATIVE?!!??’

you actually combed through at least 14 pages of crappy repeat selfies, too? 

1. I'm pretty dang sure I have a fulltrui. Which of You is it?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity    (e) Loki, but Odin wants in, too    (f) Odin, but Loki is taking a cordial interest    (g) What u talkin bout, u delusional-ass bitch    (h) Other

2. Who's been helping me out at work?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity    (e) Loki to date, but We think you'll level up faster at this point working with Odin    (f) Odin, but Loki maintains strong interests in certain facets of the work    (g) That's all you, gurl!    (h) Other

3. You know that one thing that happened involving our actual hearts? Which of You might that have been?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity    (e) Um, that was just your inflamed imagination having an epic flare    (f) Other

4. No but look, what about that first night I recognized You were real eleven months ago? Who was it that I perceived that night and that kind of laughed back at me and then and so on and so forth?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity    (e) Look, We have no idea who the fuck you are    (f) Other

5. Who's going to drive for this next leg (not that I'm abdicating my own responsibilities, but I would like to calibrate my compasses)?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity    (e) Loki, but Odin is going to be along for the ride and kibbitzing heavily, so bring ale    (f) Odin, but Loki is going to be along for the ride and kibbitzing heavily, so bring snacks    (g) Yer on yer own    (h) Other

6. Who was it that deployed all those performances and texts and left those giant geologic mash notes all over Iceland for me and has been pulling all the divinations the same way and so forth over this last couple of months?    (a) Loki    (b) Odin    (c) Both Loki and Odin: deal wih it    (d) Loki-Odin in some kind of fused identity: deal with it    (e) Nope    (f) Other 7. What are Your intentions? (essay question with credit given for specificity, clarity, coherence, and actionability)