#selfupdate

 I do think it is the latter as I have been feeling in a better mood for the past few weeks. I did have an appointment with my therapist and that seemed to have really helped. She helps to put things into perspective without feeling like I am being talked down to. There are a lot of things currently going on in my life and though physically and mentally I can keep up emotionally I am struggling. The future weeks seem to be calming down for a bit and I have come to terms with other things. I just worry this is a false sense of security. I had for many months been in a sort of hypomania state but suddenly just crashed a few weeks ago and couldn’t pull myself back up out of the hole I was digging myself. Usually my depression episodes last much longer than the hypomania episodes. Maybe this is the result of the meds I have been on for months, maybe it is a result of learning how to deal with my emotions better. Unfortunately I am skeptic and do believe that this is just me pushing off things I don’t want to deal with and it will come back to bite me later. Only time will tell.