#selfshadows

𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙷𝙾𝚆  ,  𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚈𝙰  𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝚂  ––––  he  seems  to  know  everything  about  the  inner - workings  of  haruhi’s  family  life  (  though  ,  whether  or  not  this  was  due  to  their  father’s  constant  GOSSIP  is  neither  here  nor  there  )  .  it  never  ceases  to  AMAZE  haruhi  ,  his  somehow  limitless  knowledge  of  those  around  him  .  today  was  kotoko’s  BIRTHDAY  ,  haruhi’s  late  mother  .  for  the  last  nine  years  ,  it  had  been  a  somewhat  bittersweet  day  ––––  a  time  of  remembrance  ,  of  silent  MOURNING  .  after  having  gotten  through  their  daily  host  club  meeting  without  so  much  as  an  utterance  of  their  mother’s  name  (  haruhi  was  never  one  to  acknowledge  these  things  aloud  )  ,  they  gather  the  last  of  their  belongings  and  prepare  to  leave  .  

haruhi  and  kotoko  had  developed  somewhat  of  a  TRADITION  before  her  passing  .  on  the  day  of  her  birthday  ,  there  was  never  a  party  ,  or  dinner  at  a  fancy  restaurant  ––––  rather  ,  mother  and  daughter  would  split  french  fries  and  milkshakes  at  their  local  burger  joint  (  haruhi’s  favorite  )  .  it  wasn’t  exactly  special  ,  but  haruhi  wouldn’t  miss  it  for  the  world  .

the  last  club  member  to  leave  ,  haruhi  slings  their  tote bag  over  their  shoulder  and  makes  their  way  to  the  doors  of  music  room three  when  ––––  a  HAND  grabs  their  shoulder  ,  stopping  them  from  exiting  .  as  haruhi  is  spun  around  ,  a  brown  takeout  bag  is  thrust  into  their  unoccupied  hands  .  the  familiar  scent  of  salt  and  cheap  oil  arises  from  the  bags  contents  ,  and  haruhi  knows  exactly  what’s  inside  .  amber  hues  rise  to  meet  the  knowing  eyes  of  KYOYA  ,  who  seems  to  be  staring  a  something  past  them  .  as  haruhi  follows  his  gaze  ,  they  discover  a  lone  MILKSHAKE  placed  atop  a  table  nearby  .  a  chair  has  already  been  pulled  out  ,  angled  ever  so  slightly  towards  haruhi  ––––  an  OPEN  INVITATION  .  

a  wide  smile  breaks  across  haruhi’s  features  so  as  to  hide  the  beginnings  of  tears  that  sting  at  their  eyes  .  they  chuckle  ,  nudging  kyoya  in  the  side  with  their  elbow  .  ‘  i  guess  the  shadow  king  has  struck  again  ,  huh  ,  senpai  ?  ‘  a  flicker  of  GRATITUDE  crosses  porcelain  features  as  they  make  their  way  to  the  unoccupied  table  ,  seating  themselves  and  unwrapping  their  food  .  mother  ,  these  damn  rich  kids  are  full  of  surprises  .  .  .  

lost  in  thought  ,  in  melancholic  REMEMBERING  ,  they  almost  fail  to  notice  that  kyoya  has  joined  them  in  the  adjacent  chair  ––––  or  that  a  stray  hand  has  wandered  towards  their  fries  .  ‘  hey  .  .  .  !  ‘  honey - colored  eyes  narrow  to  GLARE  at  kyoya  ,  who  has  successfully  stolen  a  fry  from  their  plate  ,  but  their  irritation  is  short  lived  .  grateful  for  the  distraction  (  and  the  somewhat  pleasant  COMPANY  )  ,  haruhi  nudges  the  fries  towards  the  center  of  the  table  .

sentence  starters  ( accepting ! )  /  @selfshadows​​  :  ‘  it’s  nothing  ,  it’s  a  tiny  little  inconvenience  .  ‘

coming  from  anyone  else  ,  those  words  could  be  received  as  REASSURING  ,  a  moment  of  understanding  between  friends  .  instead  ,  the  ootori  son’s  voice  blows  through  haruhi  like  a  COLD  WIND  .  they  shudder  ,  unable  to  quell  the  sudden  sense  of  dread  that  now  buries  itself  in  the  pit  of  their  stomach  .  ‘  .  .  .  i  didn’t  realize  that  such  a  tiny  inconvenience  could  be  so  EXPENSIVE  ,  ‘  haruhi  mutters  under  their  breath  .  amber  hues  drift  down  to  the  floor  ,  where  a  pair  of  wire - framed  glasses  lay  in  a  crooked  heap  .

it  had  been  a  rare  moment  of  weakness  on  haruhi’s  part  ––––  after  all  ,  hikaru  &  kaoru  were  seldom  successful  in  earning  a  rise  from  the  commoner  with  their  usual  MISCHIEF  .  but  with  midterms  coming  up  ,  haruhi  was  even  more  distracted  than  usual  .  their  mind  was  elsewhere  ,  hyper - focused  on  constructing  their  STUDY  PLAN  for  next  week  ––––  making  them  the  perfect  target  .  having  snuck  their  way  behind  haruhi  while  they  weren’t  paying  attention  ,  it  didn’t  take  much  for  the  twins  to  spook  the  young  host  .  haruhi  ,  caught  by surprise  ,  staggered  their  way  backwards  ––––  and  directly  into  KYOYA  .  the  impact  ,  which  had  sent  kyoya’s  glasses  clattering  to  the  floor  ,  left  haruhi  in  a  cold  SHOCK  ––––  not  because  of  their  fumble  ,  but  because  of  the  way  in  which  kyoya  so  promptly  informed  them  that  the  incident  would  be  yet  another  expense  added  to  their  ever - growing  LIST  OF  DEBT  .

unprompted asks.

" I am still surprised there is a character in a game that looks exactly like me." / for Renge ( @selfshadows​ )

“But of course he has nothing on you Kyoya-sama! He completely pales in comparison to your own handsomeness! I could never get tired of seeing you at all!”

/ @selfshadows

       Oh, they were stuck here now. No way to escape. Forever glued to their seat so their boyfriend could get some shut-eye. Good thing they had a distraction. But would their social media keep their attention and help them fight the urge to move around? They really hoped so. Kyoya was always working so hard, sometimes pulling all-nighters, so he deserved a nap. If he felt comfortable enough falling asleep with them and relying on them to be a good pillow... Then, dammit, they would be the best pillow. Kaoru wanted their boyfriend to receive a moment of peace to rest up and recharge. Hopefully, that would happen without any disturbances from their friends or from the Hitachiin themself. 

@selfshadows​ asked : Looks around and quickly turns the others chin with his index finger and thumb to give him the smallest kiss.

       ❛   and then we could ...   ❜   words come to him easily . with little effort , he could take words and weave them together into sweet nothings to ease a guest’s nerves or into grandiose tales of moment deemed to be mediocre by nearly anyone else . in fact , he’s been know to string those very words together into a seemingly never ending soliloquies that have been known to “ talk people’s ( read as : kyoya’s , haruhi’s , hikaru’s , [ and / or ] the rest of the host clubs’ collective ) ears off ” .

        it seems he’s amidst crafting one of his never ending soliloquies as he’s oblivious to the other’s movements . the other’s guidance is met with little to no resistance , as searching for the best way to formulate the next sentence preoccupied his thoughts entirely . the kiss , however small , catches him as a complete surprise .

        a blush blooms across his cheeks , burning the tips of his ears , but it’s his grin that overtakes his expression entirely . suddenly , he’s lighter than air and yet he melts into the other’s grip . rose tinted gaze beholds the other as if he had moved the sun itself . suddenly , every word in his repertoire slips from his grasp , and he’s left with are stray giggles . a true rarity for the boy indeed . though , what could one expect from a fool high on the mere fact of being in love ?

/ @selfshadows

       “ Kyoya... ” They were rambling on and on about some ridiculous story. The latest gossip at some Hitachiin event. The trouble that they got into at the party with their brother. Just as the tale was nearing the climax, the other spoke up. Their mouth fell slightly agape as they processed the words. A step was taken back and the hand which held his was back by their side. For once, they were very aware of their beating heart, the way it raced and made them feel as if it would soon break free. Fingers would soon run through auburn hair as they tried to think of the right thing to say. How silly of them. To go through different emotions when they had dreamt of this exact moment. But, they imagined saying it first, when the time felt right.

       What held them back? Was it the fear of admitting that they fell for him so quickly and that scared them because what if... “ Wait. Wait. ” One hand reached to grab their boyfriend’s sleeve, hoping to keep him in place and to keep him quiet a bit longer while they went through the emotions. What really scared them was the idea of admitting their feelings aloud and later on, Kyoya regretting those words. Their relationship was still somewhat new. Was he really sure about it? Did he truly love them? What if he learned what a mess they were? How broken they felt inside? The secrets they kept from everyone? Would he truly still love them? Could he? Kaoru wasn’t sure. Gosh, they loved him so much and knew that so early on, but never made it obvious because they didn’t want to lose him.