The parts I used to hide look the most beautiful when theyāre framed.
Maybe they were never the problem ā maybe I just hadnāt looked long enough.
The stretch marks. The folds. The way my stomach doesnāt lie flat, even when I do.
I used to think these things made me less worthy of being seen. That desire had a shape I didnāt fit into ā a smoothness I hadnāt earned.
But then came the mirror. The velvet straps. The weight of being watched ā first by me, then maybe by you.
And I noticed something.
Thereās power in framing softness like it matters. In placing metal rings and black lines around the places Iāve spent years avoiding. Suddenly, my skin wasnāt a flaw ā it was a feature. A landscape. A story.
The parts that made me brace for rejection are the same ones someone might now kneel for. Not because theyāre perfect, but because theyāre mine. Because Iām not hiding anymore. Because I look long enough to see whatās there.
Sometimes thatās all it takes.
Looking again. Holding your own gaze.
Letting the straps press in just enough to say: this is worth containing.
This is worth craving.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Humans are just animals, albeit more evolved in the issues that concern them, like capitalism and consumerism, among many others, but innately animals. The very primal factor or the driving force of both animal and human life is the libido, or the life force. An animal in its wilderness is viewed as a creature whose basic motivation is survival, morals and altruism doesnāt apply to them. Therefore, whenever humans do any activity that is morally degrading, āanimalā is used as a derogatory term. But the truth is, animals always remain true to nature and do not try their very best to defy their primal instincts. There is coercion in wilderness, but there is a much stronger force of altruism as well. Given that both humans and animals stem from the very same life force, why does humanity work so hard to suppress its nature, disguising it under the illusion of progress? Cars and bikes, shopping malls, and pollution replace the rawness of existence, while nature becomes a mere spectacleāconsumed rather than lived? Why is it that the so-called evolved human fails to show true altruism, blurring the line between pretense and realityābecoming an "animal" in the very way they use the term, a beast that terrorizes itself and those around it?
By the age of twelve I had flesh bursting from my chest and thighs and hips, at the end it was nothing but ashes. Yet, the two evolving genders were ever so curious about the sudden growth of these pieces of flesh. My body became a spectacle, a subject of scrutiny and silent judgment, as though its changes granted others a newfound entitlement. I was subdued by the society to take up less space, to become less of me, wearing dresses and going to play was not an option any more, lest something terrible happened to me. These were just theories for me until I realised among those observers was my uncle, a man who had coddled and cosseted me as an infant. A man who was deemed as a harness of safety and reliability. He was not curious in the way children whisper about changes they do not yet understand; he was curious in the way predators lurk in the shadows, except he was lurking in his persona, waiting for an opportune moment. And one day, he took his chance, for a brief yet painstakingly long moment, he exposed his primal nature as he slipped from the persona he had masked himself underneath.
It was a brief, suffocating and irreversible moment. A hand that did not belong, a gaze that stripped away my sense of safety, a violation that did not leave bruises but carved itself into my bones. I did not scream. I did not fight. I did not know how to. It wasnāt until my aunt called for me from the kitchen that I realised what was happening, I banged my head against the wall in an attempt to release myself from his clutches. I was twelve when I realised the atrocities humans were capable of. I was twelve when I saw the real beastānot an animal, but a man who had chosen to suppress his humanity in favor of his most primal urges.
For years, I carried the weight of that experience in silence. Guilt, shame and confusion had build wall around me. I truly learnt how to subdue myself, how to become as little of me as possible, how to take as little space as possible. I became way too aware of touch, proximity and the lingering eyes. I had this desperate urge to become invisible and evaporate. Yet, despite it all, the force of survival within me refused to let me dissolve into nothingness
Kristen B: My Journey as a Pole Dancer Brought Me Self-Reclamation and So Much More
"I think the word "fluid" can also apply to letting emotions flow out of you, releasing things that aren't working for you, and letting them go. This is especially true in how pole dance has helped me acknowledge and heal from trauma." Kristen B
Written By: Lauren Long
Date Published: September 26, 2023
āReal Queens fix each otherās crowns.ā
Author Unknown
The above quote is one of Kristen Bās favourite quotes, and it is now one of mine. I love the meaning and the message of empowerment, and if I was only allowed one word to describe Kristen B, empowered would be it. Who is Kristen B? Hailing from Orange, California, the mother of twoā¦
Three months apart and I thought my heart was completely torn apart. I used to think you were a symbol or a fragment of my soul. Now, I realize that you're nothing more than a car. You can be replaced. But, I know that you'll always have a special place in my heart. My first intense relationship between man vs. machine. From traveling at speeds a little over a half a century, to hauling all my shit on move in/move out day, the blasting of noise on the factory system,Ā shenanigansĀ in the backseat and the parking lots spent melting away your rear tires, the times spent together areĀ trulyĀ unforgettable.Ā
In August I would think "This sucks", but now I realize that if everything were always going well, how would we know things were going well? I've learned to count my blessings. Material items are just material items. Having nice things is simply a luxury and not a necessity. I'm reallyĀ appreciativeĀ of theĀ intangibleĀ thingsĀ I do have, love and friendship. Knowing that, I have regained confidence in myself and starting to believe again that I can succeed and overcome the challenges presented before me. It's never about the car, it's all about the rider. I forgot forgot that mentality. I honestly felt like Ricky Bobby and feared climbing back into the cockpit. Now it's time to get back on track and hit the road. Destination unknown.Ā
P.S. I'll see you this week, if not than the first week of Nov.Ā
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
