Jul 31
When I moved from a pacifist opinion to a new opinion in which I accepted the necessity of fighting in some wars (if the reasons for engagem
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When I moved from a pacifist opinion to a new opinion in which I accepted the necessity of fighting in some wars (if the reasons for engagem
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Mess
I’m built like a stack of pins in an abandoned alley I keep together form a sturdy shape yet I’m so afraid of falling over like a pastry hesitant to dip into milk so afraid I’ll crumble like a forest screaming “Here comes fresh fire!” So infatuated by the darkness whilst in the presence of light Will the moon not wait? Won’t the sun rise at another time? Because I can’t keep it together, when I’m around you I melt and my words keep getting jumbled, my fingers keep knotting, I keep thinking I might be nothing, it might mean something. A stimulating essence, afraid to feel just to have it become fog, I don’t trust myself, just so scared of getting old, fast, stuttering to keep pace, being more myself each day, but I still keep wondering. I start steaming when you hold my hand, it’s like a feeling of uneasiness, but excitedly content, I keep fearing I might run you back by just being who I am, I just can’t seem to stay in tune, I dance around too clingy or too distant, when I’m away I stay awake. I can’t keep to myself, I feel like I could open any box in front of you even though I stay in this bottle, so my fingers say what my mouth can’t I’m sorry I’m such a mess
you remind me of someone i used to know.
mmm. hmm.
why does that always happen?
because we're too busy to pay attention.
too busy with what?
making each other up.
to pay attention to what?
the reality of each other.
why do we do that?
now there's a question. we don't have to do it.
we choose to?
mmm. hmm.
that's a scary thought. based on what motivation?
heh. fear. what else?
Self-Questioning: A Move that Leads to Success
By Marshall Goldsmith, LinkedIn Pulse, July 13, 2015
The act of self-questioning--so simple, so misunderstood, so infrequently pursued--changes everything! It is a “magic move” that leads to success. It is a triggering mechanism, and its objective is to alter our behavior--for the better.
Daily questions are such an important part of my life that I do a self-questioning exercise every day and have for years. I value the process so much that I teach all of my clients this exercise in my coaching engagements and classes.
Every day I challenge myself by answering 32 questions that represent behavior that I know is important, but easy to neglect given the pressures that surround all of us today. The number 32 isn’t magic, the idea is to just ask the number of questions that seems ‘right for you’.
Each question is put on an Excel spreadsheet and is answered with a ‘yes’ (use a 1 to represent this on the spreadsheet) and ‘no’ (use a 0 on the spreadsheet) or a number. The process moves very quickly!
In my case, I have a woman call me and I read my answers to her. This helps ensure accountability.
One rule: there is no negative feedback. No matter what answer I give, she says nothing that might produce guilt. She might make positive comments that reinforce success--but this isn’t necessary.
Here are some of the questions that I ask myself. Please remember my questions reflect my values, and might not work for you. Please use these just for example and write your own.
First, I begin with six ‘active questions’ that lead to higher satisfaction with life. Each question begins with, “Did I do my best to…” The good thing about beginning these questions with “Did I do my best to…” is that it is very difficult to blame someone else for my failure. No one can be responsible for “Did I do my best to…” but me!
Did I do my best to:
Increase your happiness? Find meaning? Be engaged? Build relationships? Set clear goals? Make progress toward goal achievement?
In terms of the happiness question, my philosophy of life is simple: Be happy now. I have a great life--wonderful wife and kids, good health, love my job, and don’t have a boss. If I am not happy today, someone is screwed up, and that person is me!
In spite of all my blessings, I can still sometimes get caught up in day-to-day stress, forget how lucky I am and act like an idiot. It helps to get this daily reminder of the importance of happiness and gratitude.
Here are more of the questions that I ask myself:
How meaningful were your activities? How many minutes did you watch TV? How many hours did you sleep? How many sit-ups did you do? What is your weight? Did you say or do something nice for Lyda? Did you say or do something nice for the kids? How many alcoholic drinks did you have? How many minutes did you spend trying to change things you can’t control? How many clients are not up-to-date?
Some of my questions are about health, such as “How many sit-ups did you do?” (This works. Today I did 200 sit-ups at once. Not bad for a 66-year-old guy!)
Disciplined follow-up is the key to the success of my teaching and coaching. One question is “With how many clients are you current on your follow-up?”
My relationship questions include, “Did you say or do something nice for your wife? Your son? Your daughter?” I am certainly not a perfect husband or dad, but this process helps me get better.
Why does this process work so well?
Because it forces me to look at and live my values every day. If I believe something matters, I put it on the list and do it! If I really don’t want to do it, I can see the long string of 0s next to my daily attempts, face the reality that it isn’t going to happen, and let it go.
Imagine that a coach was going to call you every night and listen to you answer questions about your life. What questions would you want to ask yourself, every day?
Now, try it out. Write the questions that you would need to ask yourself every day. Even the process of writing questions will help you better understand your own values and how you live or don’t live them on a daily basis. If you really have courage, recruit a coach or friend and start asking daily questions to each other. You might be as amazed at the results as I have been.
Do you people sometimes see weird shit via peripheral vision? I mean, your like walking forward minding your own business then suddenly, some creep comes or walks to you from the side and you look up and nothing? IDK what this is it scares the crap out of me everytime it happens!
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Being needed
Today, I faced myself with the question. Am I needed? I pondered and thought, attempting to come up with a sufficient answer to my own question. Not 'am I wanted', no am I needed. Honestly, I can't come up with a decent answer. I suppose I am useful sometimes, helpful most; but never NEEDED. In the purest aspect of the word, I don't think I am. I may be wanted, cherished, loved, but not needed. It's a striking thought thats kept me thinking all morning and I still have yet to come up with a true answer. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
Need to express. And proceed. And be met
Yet my original post was erased, I'll start over. Sometimes I don't flow what I want . According to my observations it links to the choice like where to go or what to eat. But I now know for sure that what I really wand is the gut pain to dissolve. And what can I do about it right now? This moment? THIS choice to be made, opportunitty to be taken. Including real rely on available resources. Like safety, support and runaway when needed.
=hot water a saltless porridge for me for now