When I think back to my life, I think back to 2010 high school me who just wanted to make it out alive and now I am, 13 years later with children and a whole husband.
This year has been wild.
It was 18 months since my childhood pet passed away. It’s been nearly a year since I brought home another child into my life - one who is my little twin. It’s been 7 months since my s/o’s graduation pet passed away. And it’s been nearly 3 months since I saw the Queen, miss Taylor Swift in concert live in Nashville.
I made it a goal this year to heal my inner child and to start being a better person and mother. Seven months into the year and I wonder if I’ve made any progress? I know I am the person that 2010 me would be so proud of the progress and that here I am, alive. But am I really living? Am I the best version of myself that my children deserve? It’s a question I wonder every single day.
As I type this growing rant out, #Breathe by #TaylorSwift just started playing unprompted.
I don’t know if I believe in a higher power or fate, but I do know I had kids (let’s be honest, they’re frustrating and testy as can be, but they’re seriously a gift to be treasured as not everyone gets to experience parenthood) - I had just to help me grow into the person I need to be.
So this is me, taking accountability for being a shitty and short-tempered person today and treasuring life’s little moments.
Tomorrow I will be better.
P.S: I re-downloaded tumblr after being away for well over a year just to be able to vent freely without actually unloading. Ironically this is the same account I’ve had since 2009. Life is rough and I just need an outlet.
