add a super idiotic but loveable pirate-conman duo with a combined amount of one and a half braincells to your book. it doesn't matter if you're writing fantasy or not. add them

don't attempt to write mystery if you haven't read every single one of agatha christie's works. in a similar fashion, don't attempt to write if you aren't agatha christie

just remember: the more pop culture references, the better. and don't be afraid to use public domain characters!! who wouldn't want to read a story about quasimodo, rosie the riveter, and sherlock holmes' love triangle? 

in the case of 95% description, dialogue should be delivered within paragraphs and within paragraphs only