#seirioscanis

“To put it bluntly, I’m devastated.

For Sirius, because it was his brother, for the rest of the family, because it’s hell losing someone, even if you’re a horrid human being. For myself, because…

Look. I can’t say it to Sirius, because I’m not an arsehole, and I’m not going to be the one to pour salt in that wound, but I think he made a mistake. I know-I knew Regulus, and yeah he’d made mistakes. Big ones. But he was…he was rethinking them.

We used to meet up. He and I. It started because of Quidditch, that’s where I really met him, and then I went back to Hogwarts before he left and we got talking…and it’s not like I could go up to Sirius and be like ‘hey mate, so I’ve befriended your Death Eater brother, can I have your approval’. So Lily’s the only one who knew. And he was a good bloke. Real dry wit about him; reminded me of Sirius, to be honest. And I liked him. Might’ve even more than liked him, if I’m really honest. 

And we were making progress. He was going to…at least I think he was…he was close to turning back. He wanted out of the other side, and I was so close…I was real close to convincing him he could do it. 

But I let him down.

And I let Sirius down.

And I guess…you know what happened there.

So yeah…I’m devasted and it hurts, and it all happened in the worst fucking week of my life, but I’m not going to tell Sirius that.

I can’t lose the only Black I’ve got left.”

“That prat?”

“Devastating.”

Bellatrix hesitated, a deep sigh falling from her lips. “It is my greatest failure. I am the eldest of our generation….now there is just myself and Narcissa left. Andromeda and Sirius were misguided, they clearly fell into the wrong crowds at Hogwarts and once the mudbloods had got their teeth into them there was no turning back. We did not do a good enough job of teaching them what is good and proper, and now they are dead to us. Of course, Andromeda’s crime is far worse than Sirius’. Allowing herself to be impregnated by one of the cockroaches is almost unthinkable. It sickens me to think I used to share a room with her, share everything with her.”

“Regulus, however, is not my fault. He had joined the Death Eaters, he was on the correct path, he was going to be great. Sirius robbed him of that, and Sirius will pay.”

“The loss of my family haunts me, and it will forever haunt me. It was my responsibility to ensure they were walking the right path, and my failure weighs upon me like a boulder on my shoulders that I must carry at all times. It is devastating, and it truly breaks my heart that my family has been split this way.”